Some Good Omens/Smallville snippets. (Crowley, Lex)
These were just kind of running around in my head. And then they ended up on paper, and I decided to inflict them on all of you. Aside from that, I really have no explanation for this.
These snippets are (I guess?) loosely connected. Very loosely connected. And I think the last one is probably an out-take.
Crowley has met kings before, and emperors; men who quite literally held the power of life and death in their frequently unwashed hands. Lex Luthor is significantly cleaner and far more impressive than almost all of them. Caesar Augustus might have been able to hold his own against the man; Herod Basileus would have recognized a kindred spirit. Alexander would have found his namesake incomprehensible. All three would have been wise enough to try and have him killed, though Crowley finds it highly doubtful that they would have succeeded. There is a hunger in Luthor that will never be satisfied, even with the entire world gone to sate it, and anyone with any power over him would be foolish to sleep soundly at night; foolish to sleep at all, really. Crowley finds this attitude heartwarming, and does his level best to encourage it. It's been far too long since Earth's had a proper despotic ruler, the sort of ruthless bastard who prefers power above all else and is actually sane enough to both consolidate and keep it. Luthor is exactly that, and once he's in charge, tempting him to torment others will have precisely the sort of trickle-down effect that will keep the commendations rolling in from Down Below, and any actual work on Crowley's part to an absolute minimum. He's looking forward to it.
***
Lex has lunch with Anthony Crowley on an average of once a month. Despite the best efforts of his best people, he has only been able to gather the most basic information about the man. Everyone knows him, but no one seems to be entirely sure as to what it is that he does -- though there are any number of rumours, ranging from responsibility for the continuing popularity of reality television to deep, close ties with the current presidential administration.
Neither would surprise Lex; he wouldn't be surprised if it were both, actually, Crowley's sense of humour being what it is -- but business considerations become less important with each meal they share. Rather, Lex finds himself enjoying Crowley's increasingly cynical asides, his amused - and amusing - assessments of anyone unfortunate enough to come into view, and his shamelessly unapologetic lack of anything remotely resembling morals. He feels almost virtuous in comparison.
***
Crowley is certain that Aziraphale, or at least Aziraphale's people, are somehow responsible for Superman. It is exactly the sort of tacky, ostentatious gesture that they would go for.
***
"I don't really need a business partner," Luthor says calmly, leaning back in his chair.
Crowley is glad that his sunglasses hide his eyeroll. He waves a hand.
Luthor raises an eyebrow.
Crowley shakes his hand back and forth, frowning, then points at a waiter, who obligingly dumps his tray of drinks over the nearest customer. Crowley takes a moment to appreciate the resultant chaos, then turns back to Luthor.
The man smiles. Like a snake.
Thanks to marauderswolf and lferion for letting me bounce the insanity off of them.