highlander/smallville crossover (pt 2)
highlander/smallville crossover
part two
***
This is not happening, Lex thought, closing his eyes. I am not in Smallville, and this is not happening.
Two minutes earlier he had been enjoying one of the better evenings he'd had in a long time. He'd been enjoying good food, good liquor, good company, and the fact that he'd gotten one over on his father. He'd even been enjoying consistently outbidding the Englishman to his left, and the increasing irritation in the man's asides to his friend, though he hadn't understood the language they were speaking.
That, of course, was before and the rest of the party had been taken hostage by a group of men that, once they'd turned the lights back on, clearly resembled the dirtier members of the Manson family, with the additions of enormous, potentially bug-infested beards - and Kalashnikov rifles.
The rifles worried Lex more than anything else. He was fairly certain that Clark could - and had - survived pistol-rounds without so much as a scratch to show for it, but there was a world of difference between a nine millimeter slug and a bullet from an AK-47.
He turned to Clark to tell him to stay down, to tell him not to risk himself playing the hero - but Clark was gone.
Through a rising tide of hysteria, Lex forced himself to stay calm. He couldn't see Clark anywhere, but he could hear the leader - clearly identified by his beard, which was the biggest and dirtiest of all - shouting a warning to the increasingly panicky room.
"You are now under the control of the Earth Liberation Faction!" he roared. "All of you are polluters, destroyers of our precious natural resources, and today you will pay for your sins in blood or in money. The choice is yours."
***
"ELF?" Methos muttered incredulously. "MacLeod, this is all your fault."
"My fault?" Duncan demanded. "They're psychotic eco-terrorists, Michael. There is no way that you can pin this on me.
"Silence!" the leader roared.
"What do you suppose they call him?" Methos drawled, sotto voce. "The head ELF?" His tone made the joke both infantile and infinitely wicked at the same time.
The head ELF -- Duncan realized with dismay that he would be unable to think of the man in any other way -- was ranting about corporate greed and the transformation of humanity into brand-name-worshipping zombies, and so fortunately did not hear Duncan's involuntary snort of laughter.
"Would you shut up?" he hissed. "You're going to get us both shot."
The look that Methos shot him suggested that those might very well have been the man's intentions, but he settled back into his seat compliantly enough.
"You do realize," Methos muttered after another minute or so of ecology-driven raving, "that things like this only happen to me when you're around. In fact, I'm convinced that things like this only happen when you're around."
Lex Luthor gave the pair of them a startled glance. The look that Methos gave him in return was as bland as skimmed milk.
It was almost funny -- until the head ELF started reading their list of demands.
***
a/n: thanks ever so much to everyone who took the time to read or review. Feedback is wonderful. I have a whole horde of hungry plotbunnies on my hands.