On a side note, I probably would never get married even if it was legal everywhere and I was really in love with someone. Meaningless social construct intended in part to control women is meaningless. Or I could just have a fear of commitment.
The legal perks are the only reason I'm here, and I have seen it used as a great excuse for a wonderful party, but yeah, I do not get it. Mostly I just don't get why who I'm with is anyone's business but mine. I've seen people write very positively about marriage as being a way to make a commitment to someone before your community; I so don't get 'community', give me a couple of likeminded friends any day.
So I got married at a courthouse, in about five minutes. In my oldest dress. With two friends present. On Leap Day in 2008. And M went to work right afterwards.
I love that you got married on Leap Day. :) Yeah, I was gonna say, I might one day do it to get the legal benefits, but then I got lazy. And the likelihood of that ever happening is low, anyway.
But if I did get married, that's how I'd do it, too. Ironically, my two married siblings have had their weddings at the courthouse without a big party. My sister and BIL decided to get married when he was here on 10 day leave, and they are planning to have a big wedding ceremony this summer (I'm catering!) but my brother and SIL are just too broke for a "real" wedding. :/ Plus the only reason they got married is because she's pregnant.
My sister is doing multiple weddings! - she had one at a registry office (which in principle is similar to a US courthouse wedding except that they're rigidly secular - I almost raegquit my own wedding when the judge mentioned Jesus, wow should I have vetted the text before we started, but that's GA for you) and then a much sillier one at a con later the same day, and she's having a church blessing sometime this summer. She said beforehand that the con wedding was the 'real' one because all her friends would be there :) It seems like an awful lot of effort to me though.
It's one of the biggest cultural shifts for me, that. Europeans are a lot more blase about avoiding unwanted pregnancies, ending unwanted pregnancies, and not rushing to marry people who cause unwanted pregnancies (whether they result in the birth of a baby or not).
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On a side note, I probably would never get married even if it was legal everywhere and I was really in love with someone. Meaningless social construct intended in part to control women is meaningless. Or I could just have a fear of commitment.
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So I got married at a courthouse, in about five minutes. In my oldest dress. With two friends present. On Leap Day in 2008. And M went to work right afterwards.
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But if I did get married, that's how I'd do it, too. Ironically, my two married siblings have had their weddings at the courthouse without a big party. My sister and BIL decided to get married when he was here on 10 day leave, and they are planning to have a big wedding ceremony this summer (I'm catering!) but my brother and SIL are just too broke for a "real" wedding. :/ Plus the only reason they got married is because she's pregnant.
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It's one of the biggest cultural shifts for me, that. Europeans are a lot more blase about avoiding unwanted pregnancies, ending unwanted pregnancies, and not rushing to marry people who cause unwanted pregnancies (whether they result in the birth of a baby or not).
Reply
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