The Freebie List
Title: the Freebie List
Author: Athena
Fandom: Warehouse 13
Pairing: HG Wells & Myka Bering
Rating: PG to M
Spoiler: none
Disclaimer: I don’t own these lovely ladies. Not writing for profit, just for entertainment.
Summary: Fluff piece about goofy stuff happening to our artifact hunters during some well deserved R&R. Reference to a Friends episode (3.05) where the gang all consider what five celebrities would be on their "freebie list"--people they can sleep with without anyone getting upset.
Chandler: Well, we have a deal where we each get to pick five different celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one can't get mad.
Ross: Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship: Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities.
Monica: So, Chandler... who's on your list?
Chandler: Uh, Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and, ah, Jessica Rabbit.
Rachel: Now, you do realize that she's a cartoon... and way out of your league?
Chandler: I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.
Helena laughed out loud. “This show is good,” she said and grinned at the others.
Pete nodded enthusiastically. “And it has hot chicks too.”
Helena chuckled and shook her head. “I guess they aren’t that bad. Rachel is quite attractive. Well I guess Monica is too, come to think of it,” she commented.
Claudia’s head snapped around and she stared at Helena. “HG, you into the ladies?” she asked.
Helena smiled at her. “I’ve had female lovers, yes.”
Myka stuck a Twizzler in her mouth before she could say something that she regretted.
“Alright you guys,” Claudia said and pulled her legs underneath her. Sitting cross-legged on the couch next to Helena she waived enthusiastically at them. “Let’s do our Freebie Lists,” she said.
“Claud,” Myka said, still with the Twizzler in her mouth. “That’s dumb. They only do that in silly sitcoms.”
Helena put her hand on Myka’s knee. “Come on Myka, be nice to Claudia,” she said and smiled at her. “I think it could be fun. Though I must say I don’t know as many celebrities as you do. I guess I’ll have to improvise a bit.”
Myka nodded silently, biting into the Twizzler as the hand on her knee lingered a bit longer before squeezing it. Myka swallowed.
“Here you go,” Claudia said and handed each of them a piece of paper and a pen.
Helena tapped the end of her pen against her lower lip before she wrote a name down. Myka shook her head. Don’t stare at her lips, she schooled herself. She quickly picked up her pad and paper and wrote down two names.
Helena finished first and refilled their glasses while waiting for the others to finish. She sipped her wine watching Myka chew on the end of her pencil. She leaned over. “Do you need help darling?” she whispered.
“Helena!” Myka protested. “No peeking!” she protested and nudged her with her shoulder. Helena nudged her back with a chuckle. “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours,” she said huskily.
“Helena!” Myka and Claudia yelled as one. Pete grinned like a crazy person.
“What?” she asked innocently. “I was talking about the list.”
Claudia keeled over laughing so hard. “HG, that means something else. Totally.”
Helena’s eyebrow arched and she folded her arms. “Very funny young lady.”
Myka finally scribbled a name at the bottom of her list and folded it up.
“Swap,” Claudia said and snagged HG’s list out of her hand, giving hers to Helena.
Myka quickly swapped with Pete before Helena could take hers. She gave him a warning glare.
“All right, here we go,” Helena said and unfolded Claudia’s note. “Robert Pattinson,” she read. She looked up. “Who is he? Never heard of him.”
“He’s, ehum, one of the guys from Twilight,” Claudia mumbled.
“All right, moving on,” Pete said and made a big show of unfolding Myka’s note. Helena leaned back and smiled at her. “Myka’s number one.”
“They aren’t ranked Pete,” Myka said annoyed.
“Myka. Quiet,” he said and smirked. “Let me try again... Justin Timberlake!” he screamed.
Myka bolted from her seat and grabbed the note from him. “Pete, you’re such an ass,” she said and punched him in the arm.
“Ow, I was just kidding Myka.”
She stalked back to the couch shoving her list in her pocket. “I’m not playing,” she muttered.
Claudia wiped tears from her eyes. “Pete, you’re a seriously disturbed dude,” she said and burst out laughing again. She unfolded Helena’s list. “Okay HG, let’s see what you came up with.” She looked up at HG, surprise written all over her face. “Nice pickins chica,” she said and raised her hand to HG for a high five. It took the woman a moment to understand, but then she touched her palm to Claudia’s. “Okay, HG’s list. I’m just going to do the whole thing, okay. Sasha Alexander, Amanda Tapping, Stephanie March, Richard Castle, can’t remember the actor’s name, and Joanne Kelly.”
Pete whistled. “Nice HG. I’ve got two of those on my list too. Not the Castle guy of course,” he added quickly.
Myka suddenly felt nervous sitting next to Helena. She picked up Pete’s list from the floor where it had landed earlier. “Okay, Pete, who did you pick? Catherine Zeta Jones, Stephanie March, Keira Knightley,” she raised an eyebrow at the last one. “Keira Knightley? Isn’t she a bit young for you?” Pete waived it off. “Okay, Jennifer Lopez and Joanne Kelly,” she read.
HG finished Claudia’s. It consisted of a couple of rock singers they’d never heard of and some hacker she had met at Comicon. The late hour called for lights out and one by one they walked upstairs. Helena was the last to leave. She was about to turn off the lights when she noticed the little ball of paper sitting on the couch. She quickly picked it up and unfolded it. She raised an eyebrow as she realized what she was holding. It was Myka’s list. She quickly read the names and a wicked grin spread across her face. “My, oh my Myka,” she said with a chuckle.
Helena found Claudia hanging in Myka’s doorway. Claudia turned in her direction when she heard her on the stairs. “Hey HG, come here.”
Helena walked over and put her arm around the girl. “What can I do for you Claudia? Bedtime story? Tuck you in?”
Claudia smiled and elbowed her. “Funny HG.”
Helena laughed and looked at Myka who was sitting on the bed. “Myka, may I have a word?”
“Well, ladies, I’m going to skedaddle. Early morning tomorrow. Have to be sharp, or the Warehouse will have its wicked way with me.”
“May I come in?” Helena asked softly. Myka nodded. Helena took a step forward and quietly closed the door behind her. She crossed the floor and sat down at the foot of Myka’s bed. “Here, “she said and handed Myka the little piece of paper. “You left this behind. I didn’t think that you wanted anyone else to find it.”
Myka took the offered object from Helena’s hand. She played with it a little. “Did you read it?” she asked softly.
“I did,” Helena admitted. She leaned forward and gently cupped Myka’s chin, forcing her to meet her eyes. “It’s a beautiful list darling.”
Myka smiled a lopsided grin and looked away. Helena reached out and gently took her hand. It startled Myka, but she didn’t pull her hand away. “Myka, you have been a little skittish around me lately. Have I done something to upset you?” she asked gently
Myka watched the slender hand holding hers, and the thumb that gently rubbed the back of her hand. She cleared her throat. “No, of course not Helena.”
Helena gently cupped her chin again. “Then why aren’t you looking at me?”
Myka stared at their clasped hands. “I’m afraid to,” she whispered.
Helena smiled and tugged at her hand. “Come here.”
Myka inched closer and allowed Helena to pull her into a soft embrace. She inhaled her sweet scent as she buried her nose in Helena’s soft hair.
“Myka, do you have feelings for me?” Helena whispered in her ear.
Myka made a strangled sound and Helena pulled back to look at her. She gently cupped her cheek. “You are so beautiful.” Helena slowly leaned forward to give Myka a chance to pull away, if she wanted to. When she didn’t move, Helena brushed her lips against Myka’s. The kiss didn’t last long, but long enough for her to feel the tremor going through Myka. She watched her closed eyes and slightly parted lips. She was beautiful.
“I do,” Myka whispered. It took Helena a couple of seconds to figure out what she meant, but when she did she laughed and pulled Myka to her. “I am so very glad darling. I don’t know if I could bear it if you didn’t.”
Myka laughed and tightened her hold on Helena. “So now what.”
“Now I make passionate love to you until the sun comes up, or until the others tell us to be quiet,” Helena said matter-of-factly.
“What?” Myka squeaked. Helena laughed out loud, her eyes twinkling with mirth. “Oh, you,” she said trying to sound mad, but failed miserably as she started laughing.
Helena kissed her again and was delighted when Myka returned the kiss. She ran her hand up Myka’s side and gently brushed her fingers over her breast. She heard Myka moan softly and repeated the touch. Then Myka ended the kiss. She took a couple of deep breaths before speaking
“Helena, I need you to know something,” Myka said in a small voice.
“This is new to you,” Helena filled in. “I know.”
Myka looked up at her. “Is it that obvious?” she said and bit her lip.
“Oh darling, it’s endearing. I promise you, I will not push you into anything you’re not ready for.”
Myka pulled her to her and kissed her hard. “I might not know what I’m doing,” Myka said in between kisses. “But I do know what I want.”
Helena smiled. She pulled Myka down on the bed and pushed her leg between Myka’s. Soon she felt Myka push up against her knee. She pushed against her. HG knew she was losing control. She pulled away from a protesting Myka. “Darling, it’s late. We should really go to bed.”
Myka pulled her shirt down and tried to get her breathing under control. Once she calmed down a little she realized that Helena was right. She wasn’t ready to take this newly established relationship to the next level. “Thank you,” she said and caressed Helena’s cheek. “Thank you for knowing me better than I know myself.”
Helena gave her a quick kiss. “You’re welcome. Sleep well darling. I will miss you.”
“You too,” she said as she followed Helena to the door. She pulled her back for one last kiss. “I don’t guess that I can talk you into sleeping next to me?”
Helena smiled. “I would love that, but I think you need your space tonight. Maybe tomorrow night. Okay?”
Myka nodded. “I’ll hold you to it.”
“Good night darling.”
Pete was just about to close the door behind him when he saw HG come out of Myka’s room. He froze in place. Then to his surprise he saw Myka lean forward and kiss HG. Not a little peck on the cheek, but a full-blown kiss. He even thought he saw some tongue. His jaw hit the ground. The door closed and he panicked for a moment, realizing that he was caught.
“Peter, you really shouldn’t keep your mouth open like that. You might catch a fly,” HG teased.
“HG, you… Myka… when..?” he couldn’t forma sentence.
She patted his cheek. “Yes darling. And please don’t mess with other people’s business. This is very new, and Myka is very vulnerable. She needs your support more than anything, not your teasing.”
“Okay, got ya’, loud and clear” he was proud of himself for being able to form a coherent answer. He nodded at her as she opened the door to her room. “Hey, HG, nice moves,” he said and grinned.
“Why thank you.”
“I know that you’re a good kisser, so she’s a lucky girl,” he teased.
“No offense Peter, but I enjoy her kisses much more than yours. After all, kissing you only served one purpose.”
“Non taken.”
“Good night dear boy,” she said and was gone.
He leaned against the doorframe, all interest in a midnight cookie raid gone. He walked back inside and closed the door behind him. “HG and Myka. Wow,” he said to himself. “I didn’t see that one coming.”
Myka’s List