Metropolitan Ghost - Chapter 2/?
Myka looked at Helena sitting across from her at the table. “Can I ask you something?”
Helena nodded. “Of course.”
“How did you know that you were attracted to women?”
“I’ve known that for a very long time, ever since I was quite young,” Helena said softly and smiled at her. “When I was fourteen I visited a friend of mine. Her older sister, Amelia was home from boarding school abroad. I was captivated by her. I tried to be around her all the time. She was so beautiful. One evening after dinner we had withdrawn to her sitting room. Amelia and I were talking about Shakespeare and Descartes. I was so excited to have someone to talk to that shared my interest in science and literature. Her sister went to bed leaving us alone. After a while she came over and sat down next to me. She caressed my cheek and told me that I was beautiful, and then she kissed me. It was my first kiss and it was so sweet. Still to this day it’s one of the best kisses I’ve ever experienced.”
Myka smiled. “And that was it? You just knew from that point on?”
Helena nodded. “She told me that she had a female lover in France. It upset me and I started to cry. She held me and kissed my face while telling me that I would meet the right person for me some day. I didn’t want anyone else. I wanted her and I told her so. She smiled and kissed me. If she had taken me to her bed I would have come willingly, but she didn’t. A few days later she returned to France and I to my parents. The experience had opened my eyes and suddenly things made more sense. I had never really been that attracted to men, but I had often found women beautiful and interesting. As I got older and was allowed to participate in evening events I tentatively reached out to the ones I felt an attraction to, both male and female. My openness almost got me into serious danger at one point,” she said with a sad sigh and sipped her coffee.
“What happened?”
“I met this young man at an event at a neighbor’s home. We went for a walk after dinner. He wanted to see the gallery. I know, I should have known better, but I was young. We walked along the deserted hallways until we got to the gallery. Once there he grabbed me and kissed me. I didn’t mind. He was handsome and I had encouraged him. However when he lifted my skirt and pushed me against the wall I got scared. I tried to push him away, but he was too strong. I felt him touching me. No one had ever touched me intimately before and I was now really scared. He put his hand over my mouth telling me not to scream.”
“God Helena, that’s terrible,” Myka whispered. She put her hand on top of Helena’s where it rested on the table.
“I started to cry, begging him to let me go. Then suddenly someone else was there. He moved away and left the room. I sank to the floor sobbing. When she touched me I flinched, but when I finally realized who it was I threw myself in her arms. Helen held me until my tears stopped and then she brought me to her room. She asked me what had happened and I told her. Then she asked some pretty graphic questions that embarrassed me a lot. She noticed and smiled. I knew that I should leave, it was late and she must want to go to bed. To my surprise she asked if I wanted to stay with her. I accepted.”
“She must have sensed that you needed someone to comfort you.”
Helena nodded. “She kissed me softly on the lips and wished me pleasant dreams. When I asked her if she would hold me she just pulled me close. I felt so safe. It was such an amazing feeling to be in her arms. The next morning I woke up first. I kissed her until her eyes fluttered open. I remember thinking that her blue eyes were the prettiest ones I’d ever seen and I told her. She smiled and held me closer.” Helena tilted her head and smiled at Myka. “That night she made love to me. It was the most exhilarating event in my young life. I am so grateful that she walked in on us at the right time and that my first sexual experience was with her, instead of getting raped in the gallery.”
Myka shivered. “Thank God,” she whispered.
“So I gather that you’ve never been with a woman.”
Myka shook her head. “I have felt the attraction and I kissed a girl in college once, but that’s it. I’m not really a sexual person. I don’t think that I’ll ever get married, so it’s not really a big deal. I miss the closeness and having someone special, though my luck with men has been questionable. The last man in my life was married, so he wasn’t really there for me when I needed him. And then he made a mistake because of his feelings for me. A mistake that got him killed.”
“Oh Myka. I’m sorry. I remember now.”
Myka nodded.
“So tell me Myka Bering, what kind of woman caught your attention? What were they like these lucky girls who caused a twitter in your heart?”
Myka chuckled. “Pretty girls, who were also smart. They all had something I so desperately wanted, confidence. They could talk to anyone and moved around a party with ease, meanwhile I would be hiding in a corner trying not to draw attention to myself. I was painfully shy back then.”
Helena smiled and caressed her hand. “Then perhaps I might have a chance? I qualify on at least a few of those criteria.”
Myka gaped. “Helena?” she whispered. “Are you attracted to me?”
“Darling, how could I not be?”
“Really? You find me attractive?”
“I do. Why is that so shocking?”
Myka opened her mouth and closed it a few times. The words did just not come to her.
“It’s all right darling. Close your mouth, you’re starting to remind me of a goldfish.”
Myka laughed. “I’m just stunned. The freaking HG Wells just told me she’s interested in me. Wow!”
Helena smiled, but there was a hint of something more serious in her eyes. Myka caught it in time. She raised an eyebrow. “What is it Helena?” she whispered.
“Do you… oh bollocks,” Helena said and leaned back in her seat.
Myka frowned at her strange behavior. Then it hit her, Helena didn’t know if she returned her feelings. She swallowed. Did she? Yeah, that was pretty clear. But what would happen next if she admitted it?
“I like you too Helena,” she whispered. She smiled when she saw the radiant smile on Helena’s face.
“Like as in attracted to?”
Myka nodded. “You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. You’re like those girls but a hundred times more of everything. It’s a little intimidating, but also so pretty darn fantastic.”
“Oh Myka. I wish we were somewhere more private and I would kiss you right now darling.”
Myka blushed. “Perhaps I can have a rain check?”
Helena laughed and nodded. “Absolutely. Now come on, let’s get you some sexy underwear.”
Myka almost choked on her coffee. “Helena, you’re killing me.”
“And since I’m paying, I get to pick them out. And if I am really good,” she leaned closer and whispered in Myka’s ear. “Perhaps I get to take them off of you.”
Myka shivered. She looked at Helena. She was smiling at her and her dark eyes were full of happiness and mirth. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you as full of life as right now,” she said honestly. “Or as beautiful.”
“It’s all because of you my darling.”
*** *o* ***
Helena made a face and bit her lip trying not to laugh as the bra specialist arranged Myka’s breasts in the new bra. The look on Myka’s face was priceless. She cleared her voice to stop the woman before Myka would hurt her. “Excuse me, but does that one come in any other colors?”
“It does.”
“Would you be a darling and get one of each in the other colors? And one that she can wear under a black sleeveless dress. Lace and silk please,” Helena asked sweetly.
The woman nodded and left them alone in the dressing room. Helena slid over to Myka’s side. She looked down at Myka’s breasts in the new bra. “It’s beautiful on you darling,” she said and gently ran her finger along the top edge of the bra, feeling Myka’s soft skin under her fingertip.
“Helena,” Myka hissed and took a step back eying the door. Helena chuckled. She stepped closer and cupped Myka’s breasts, pushing up a little. Myka whimpered softly and chewed on her lip.
“Perhaps we should try another style that pushes your breasts up and together more?”
Myka just nodded. She put her hands on Helena’s hips when she took a step closer. When Helena pressed her lips against hers in a soft kiss she sighed happily. Helena’s lips were so soft. Myka felt her knees get weak. Then she remembered where they were and tore her lips away from Helena’s.
“Helena, we can’t. Not here.”
Helena just shrugged and smiled. “Did you like it?”
Myka nodded. “You’re an amazing kisser. Just wait until we get back to the hotel.”
Helena’s eyebrows shot up and she laughed. “I like the sound of that.”
Before they could discuss the topic further, the bra specialist returned with the other bras. Myka picked two other colors she liked and then put her shirt back on.
*** *o* ***
Riding up in the elevator Myka started to get nervous. What would happen now? Their relationship had changed so fundamentally over the last couple of hours. She glanced at Helena and to her surprise Helena was watching her.
“It’s all right Myka. I’m not going to force myself on you. Perhaps we can have an early dinner in our room and talk more about this?”
Myka nodded, relieved that Helena had sensed her insecurity. “I’d really like that.”
*** *o* ***
There was a sudden knock on the door and the muffled words room service could be heard through it. Myka quickly glanced through the peep hole before she opened the door. The waiter smiled at her as he rolled the cart through the door.
“Good evening ma’am.”
“Hi,” Myka said and waved him in. “You can just put it on the desk.”
He smiled at Helena who was sitting in one of the chairs, legs folded elegantly, sipping a glass of wine, her other hand resting casually in her lap. She nodded at him.
Myka signed the check and thanked him. When the door closed behind him she turned and smiled at Helena.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”
Helena chuckled and got up. “Let’s eat then.” She uncovered the two dinner plates and handed the chicken one and some rolled up silverware to Myka. She took her own plate and returned to her chair. She put the plate on the table next to her while she smoothly unrolled the silverware from the linen napkin. She arranged the napkin in her lap and again reached for the plate. She looked up in time to catch Myka watching her. “What?”
Myka smiled and shook her head. “Nothing. I just enjoy watching you. You’re so elegant in your movement. You don’t see that very often these days. It’s beautiful to watch really.”
Helena smiled fondly at her. “Thank you darling. You can watch me as much as you want, though right now I’d prefer if you pay a little attention to your dinner too.”
Myka made a face at her and then laughed. She cut into her chicken and tasted it. She smiled. “It’s good.”
They talked about all sorts of little things, keeping the conversation light while they were eating. When Myka was done, Helena took her plate and put both of them back on the tray. She refilled their glasses and returned to her seat. She noticed Myka squirm and realized that she was avoiding looking at her. Surprised by her sudden change she frowned a little.
“Myka?”
“Yeah?” Myka said still not looking at her. Helena put her wine down and crossed the room. She kneeled by Myka’s feet and took her hands.
“Myka darling, please tell me what’s wrong? Is it me? Did I push you too far?”
Myka shook her head. “You didn’t do anything wrong Helena.”
“Then why are you refusing to look at me? If this is not what you want, please tell me.”
Myka sighed and looked at her. “This is new to me Helena.”
She smiled. “I know that, and I’m not pushing you into making a decision or to do anything you’re not ready for.”
Myka nodded and looked down again. “I kind of wish you would,” she whispered.
Helena’s eyebrows shot up. “I’m not sure that is wise,” she said softly.
“I want this, but I’m not good at taking the lead. Not in intimate situations,” Myka whispered.
Helena smiled and sat down next to her. She pulled her to her and held her. “Then let me be the one for now. Just promise that you will tell me if we’re moving too fast.”
Myka nodded and sighed relieved. “Thank you.”
Helena tilted her head up and kissed her softly. When she felt Myka respond she slipped her tongue between Myka’s lips. She was pleasantly surprised when Myka met her halfway. She sighed into the kiss as their tongues touched. She gently caressed Myka’s neck. She felt Myka grip the fabric of her shirt behind her back and she pulled her harder against her.
“Oh God, Helena,” Myka whispered when they pulled apart. She looked at her and swallowed hard. “I guess it only takes a person a hundred years to become a fantastic kisser.”
Helena laughed and caressed her cheek. “Or perhaps it only takes the right person,” she said and ran a soft fingertip along Myka’s lower lip. She felt her breath on her skin and chuckled softly.
Helena nodded. “Of course.”
“How did you know that you were attracted to women?”
“I’ve known that for a very long time, ever since I was quite young,” Helena said softly and smiled at her. “When I was fourteen I visited a friend of mine. Her older sister, Amelia was home from boarding school abroad. I was captivated by her. I tried to be around her all the time. She was so beautiful. One evening after dinner we had withdrawn to her sitting room. Amelia and I were talking about Shakespeare and Descartes. I was so excited to have someone to talk to that shared my interest in science and literature. Her sister went to bed leaving us alone. After a while she came over and sat down next to me. She caressed my cheek and told me that I was beautiful, and then she kissed me. It was my first kiss and it was so sweet. Still to this day it’s one of the best kisses I’ve ever experienced.”
Myka smiled. “And that was it? You just knew from that point on?”
Helena nodded. “She told me that she had a female lover in France. It upset me and I started to cry. She held me and kissed my face while telling me that I would meet the right person for me some day. I didn’t want anyone else. I wanted her and I told her so. She smiled and kissed me. If she had taken me to her bed I would have come willingly, but she didn’t. A few days later she returned to France and I to my parents. The experience had opened my eyes and suddenly things made more sense. I had never really been that attracted to men, but I had often found women beautiful and interesting. As I got older and was allowed to participate in evening events I tentatively reached out to the ones I felt an attraction to, both male and female. My openness almost got me into serious danger at one point,” she said with a sad sigh and sipped her coffee.
“What happened?”
“I met this young man at an event at a neighbor’s home. We went for a walk after dinner. He wanted to see the gallery. I know, I should have known better, but I was young. We walked along the deserted hallways until we got to the gallery. Once there he grabbed me and kissed me. I didn’t mind. He was handsome and I had encouraged him. However when he lifted my skirt and pushed me against the wall I got scared. I tried to push him away, but he was too strong. I felt him touching me. No one had ever touched me intimately before and I was now really scared. He put his hand over my mouth telling me not to scream.”
“God Helena, that’s terrible,” Myka whispered. She put her hand on top of Helena’s where it rested on the table.
“I started to cry, begging him to let me go. Then suddenly someone else was there. He moved away and left the room. I sank to the floor sobbing. When she touched me I flinched, but when I finally realized who it was I threw myself in her arms. Helen held me until my tears stopped and then she brought me to her room. She asked me what had happened and I told her. Then she asked some pretty graphic questions that embarrassed me a lot. She noticed and smiled. I knew that I should leave, it was late and she must want to go to bed. To my surprise she asked if I wanted to stay with her. I accepted.”
“She must have sensed that you needed someone to comfort you.”
Helena nodded. “She kissed me softly on the lips and wished me pleasant dreams. When I asked her if she would hold me she just pulled me close. I felt so safe. It was such an amazing feeling to be in her arms. The next morning I woke up first. I kissed her until her eyes fluttered open. I remember thinking that her blue eyes were the prettiest ones I’d ever seen and I told her. She smiled and held me closer.” Helena tilted her head and smiled at Myka. “That night she made love to me. It was the most exhilarating event in my young life. I am so grateful that she walked in on us at the right time and that my first sexual experience was with her, instead of getting raped in the gallery.”
Myka shivered. “Thank God,” she whispered.
“So I gather that you’ve never been with a woman.”
Myka shook her head. “I have felt the attraction and I kissed a girl in college once, but that’s it. I’m not really a sexual person. I don’t think that I’ll ever get married, so it’s not really a big deal. I miss the closeness and having someone special, though my luck with men has been questionable. The last man in my life was married, so he wasn’t really there for me when I needed him. And then he made a mistake because of his feelings for me. A mistake that got him killed.”
“Oh Myka. I’m sorry. I remember now.”
Myka nodded.
“So tell me Myka Bering, what kind of woman caught your attention? What were they like these lucky girls who caused a twitter in your heart?”
Myka chuckled. “Pretty girls, who were also smart. They all had something I so desperately wanted, confidence. They could talk to anyone and moved around a party with ease, meanwhile I would be hiding in a corner trying not to draw attention to myself. I was painfully shy back then.”
Helena smiled and caressed her hand. “Then perhaps I might have a chance? I qualify on at least a few of those criteria.”
Myka gaped. “Helena?” she whispered. “Are you attracted to me?”
“Darling, how could I not be?”
“Really? You find me attractive?”
“I do. Why is that so shocking?”
Myka opened her mouth and closed it a few times. The words did just not come to her.
“It’s all right darling. Close your mouth, you’re starting to remind me of a goldfish.”
Myka laughed. “I’m just stunned. The freaking HG Wells just told me she’s interested in me. Wow!”
Helena smiled, but there was a hint of something more serious in her eyes. Myka caught it in time. She raised an eyebrow. “What is it Helena?” she whispered.
“Do you… oh bollocks,” Helena said and leaned back in her seat.
Myka frowned at her strange behavior. Then it hit her, Helena didn’t know if she returned her feelings. She swallowed. Did she? Yeah, that was pretty clear. But what would happen next if she admitted it?
“I like you too Helena,” she whispered. She smiled when she saw the radiant smile on Helena’s face.
“Like as in attracted to?”
Myka nodded. “You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. You’re like those girls but a hundred times more of everything. It’s a little intimidating, but also so pretty darn fantastic.”
“Oh Myka. I wish we were somewhere more private and I would kiss you right now darling.”
Myka blushed. “Perhaps I can have a rain check?”
Helena laughed and nodded. “Absolutely. Now come on, let’s get you some sexy underwear.”
Myka almost choked on her coffee. “Helena, you’re killing me.”
“And since I’m paying, I get to pick them out. And if I am really good,” she leaned closer and whispered in Myka’s ear. “Perhaps I get to take them off of you.”
Myka shivered. She looked at Helena. She was smiling at her and her dark eyes were full of happiness and mirth. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you as full of life as right now,” she said honestly. “Or as beautiful.”
“It’s all because of you my darling.”
*** *o* ***
Helena made a face and bit her lip trying not to laugh as the bra specialist arranged Myka’s breasts in the new bra. The look on Myka’s face was priceless. She cleared her voice to stop the woman before Myka would hurt her. “Excuse me, but does that one come in any other colors?”
“It does.”
“Would you be a darling and get one of each in the other colors? And one that she can wear under a black sleeveless dress. Lace and silk please,” Helena asked sweetly.
The woman nodded and left them alone in the dressing room. Helena slid over to Myka’s side. She looked down at Myka’s breasts in the new bra. “It’s beautiful on you darling,” she said and gently ran her finger along the top edge of the bra, feeling Myka’s soft skin under her fingertip.
“Helena,” Myka hissed and took a step back eying the door. Helena chuckled. She stepped closer and cupped Myka’s breasts, pushing up a little. Myka whimpered softly and chewed on her lip.
“Perhaps we should try another style that pushes your breasts up and together more?”
Myka just nodded. She put her hands on Helena’s hips when she took a step closer. When Helena pressed her lips against hers in a soft kiss she sighed happily. Helena’s lips were so soft. Myka felt her knees get weak. Then she remembered where they were and tore her lips away from Helena’s.
“Helena, we can’t. Not here.”
Helena just shrugged and smiled. “Did you like it?”
Myka nodded. “You’re an amazing kisser. Just wait until we get back to the hotel.”
Helena’s eyebrows shot up and she laughed. “I like the sound of that.”
Before they could discuss the topic further, the bra specialist returned with the other bras. Myka picked two other colors she liked and then put her shirt back on.
*** *o* ***
Riding up in the elevator Myka started to get nervous. What would happen now? Their relationship had changed so fundamentally over the last couple of hours. She glanced at Helena and to her surprise Helena was watching her.
“It’s all right Myka. I’m not going to force myself on you. Perhaps we can have an early dinner in our room and talk more about this?”
Myka nodded, relieved that Helena had sensed her insecurity. “I’d really like that.”
*** *o* ***
There was a sudden knock on the door and the muffled words room service could be heard through it. Myka quickly glanced through the peep hole before she opened the door. The waiter smiled at her as he rolled the cart through the door.
“Good evening ma’am.”
“Hi,” Myka said and waved him in. “You can just put it on the desk.”
He smiled at Helena who was sitting in one of the chairs, legs folded elegantly, sipping a glass of wine, her other hand resting casually in her lap. She nodded at him.
Myka signed the check and thanked him. When the door closed behind him she turned and smiled at Helena.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”
Helena chuckled and got up. “Let’s eat then.” She uncovered the two dinner plates and handed the chicken one and some rolled up silverware to Myka. She took her own plate and returned to her chair. She put the plate on the table next to her while she smoothly unrolled the silverware from the linen napkin. She arranged the napkin in her lap and again reached for the plate. She looked up in time to catch Myka watching her. “What?”
Myka smiled and shook her head. “Nothing. I just enjoy watching you. You’re so elegant in your movement. You don’t see that very often these days. It’s beautiful to watch really.”
Helena smiled fondly at her. “Thank you darling. You can watch me as much as you want, though right now I’d prefer if you pay a little attention to your dinner too.”
Myka made a face at her and then laughed. She cut into her chicken and tasted it. She smiled. “It’s good.”
They talked about all sorts of little things, keeping the conversation light while they were eating. When Myka was done, Helena took her plate and put both of them back on the tray. She refilled their glasses and returned to her seat. She noticed Myka squirm and realized that she was avoiding looking at her. Surprised by her sudden change she frowned a little.
“Myka?”
“Yeah?” Myka said still not looking at her. Helena put her wine down and crossed the room. She kneeled by Myka’s feet and took her hands.
“Myka darling, please tell me what’s wrong? Is it me? Did I push you too far?”
Myka shook her head. “You didn’t do anything wrong Helena.”
“Then why are you refusing to look at me? If this is not what you want, please tell me.”
Myka sighed and looked at her. “This is new to me Helena.”
She smiled. “I know that, and I’m not pushing you into making a decision or to do anything you’re not ready for.”
Myka nodded and looked down again. “I kind of wish you would,” she whispered.
Helena’s eyebrows shot up. “I’m not sure that is wise,” she said softly.
“I want this, but I’m not good at taking the lead. Not in intimate situations,” Myka whispered.
Helena smiled and sat down next to her. She pulled her to her and held her. “Then let me be the one for now. Just promise that you will tell me if we’re moving too fast.”
Myka nodded and sighed relieved. “Thank you.”
Helena tilted her head up and kissed her softly. When she felt Myka respond she slipped her tongue between Myka’s lips. She was pleasantly surprised when Myka met her halfway. She sighed into the kiss as their tongues touched. She gently caressed Myka’s neck. She felt Myka grip the fabric of her shirt behind her back and she pulled her harder against her.
“Oh God, Helena,” Myka whispered when they pulled apart. She looked at her and swallowed hard. “I guess it only takes a person a hundred years to become a fantastic kisser.”
Helena laughed and caressed her cheek. “Or perhaps it only takes the right person,” she said and ran a soft fingertip along Myka’s lower lip. She felt her breath on her skin and chuckled softly.