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[athanbellethial]

Well, i'm leaving in five days... i'm so excited and sad and idk. I'm ready to be a completely free individual, but I will miss my family terribly. I really haven't had anything constant under my feet ever and I'm wondering how its all working out and what I hold onto or if I do. Its slightly puzzling and sometimes leaves me in a melancholy. There

Comments

[thaed]

i think you will.
sometimes i worry that i'll get what i've always wanted to get from life, except it won't be enough.
because what can you do if you've tried to live your life to end up where you wanted, except when you get there, you see that it isn't really what you want? and you hate it. or don't even hate it--it's just not enough.
that's what scares me.
i sort of want to be a student forever.
sometimes.
now you're leaving in three days. :-O i think that you'll do amazing things and even if you do suddenly wind up somewhere (like having a job as an accountant) and realise you hate it... you can always change it. i mean, it's never to late to do something like travel the amazon or dance in paris or move to guatemala.
it could always happen. if you make it.

[athanbellethial]

I love you and thank you so much. It is a horrible thought that your dreams aren't enough, but at least you wouldn't know until you achieve them; which isn't a piece of pumpkin pie. I think if it were possible to be a student forever the world would be perfect and if money wasn't such a problem. Thank you again; it'll be interesting to see what we have become in ten years where life pulls us and where we take life. It'll be very interesting there are so many possibilities and really any of them could be the truth eventually.

[thaed]

ohhh money. sigh. without it, life would be so much happier. gladness. i wonder if university will cause my dreams to change--i KNOW they're no longer the same dreams that i used to have, anyway, so clearly dreams can change. except often (for me) even if what i want to do/be/live/experience changes...it's still really similar. like elements of my dreams are almost always the same.
sometimes i can't wait for it to be ten years from now, and sometimes i wish that it would never happen. i really really really don't want to be depressed with my life. but at least i'll try my best to achieve what i want, and just hope that it ends up being enough.
:-D
oh, sadness. i just realised you left for school yesterday. okay, that's not really sad--i am joyful for you!!
tell me all about it.

[athanbellethial]

umm... I'm not really sure myself so I'll let you know when things start to become a little clearer. Money is evil lol its that simple I feel sometimes that I don't have a dream or that I do but I've forgotten it.