(Untitled)

[suitedforcoffee]

CHARACTERS: Ianto Jones and Jack Harkness
LOCATION: Somewhere in the passenger quarters
WARNINGS: Angst, possible progression into NC-17 territory.
SUMMARY: Jack and Ianto run into each other in the passenger quarters just after everyone arrives.

Comments

[capt_greatcoat]

Jack went willingly when Ianto pulled him this time, wrapping his arms around Ianto in turn, a hand on the back of his neck, curling in his hair, and the other laying flat on his back, holding him close. He ducked his head to rest his cheek on the top of Ianto's head, curling himself around him almost, and just stood like that for a moment, the water cascading over them.

There were a lot of things that he wanted to say in that moment. And yet he didn't want to ruin it with talking either. He'd missed him. He'd never anticipated seeing him again. He was so, so sorry. He'd done some awful things, since he'd seen him. He wasn't sure that Ianto'd want to be with him, once he knew he'd sacrificed his own grandson because that was the easiest way out. Once he knew that he'd abandoned Gwen in Cardiff, pregnant and desperate for a friend, because he couldn't stand to look at her and know that he was going to end up killing her one day too. He selfishly didn't want to let that on, because he didn't know how Ianto would react, and yet. He

[capt_greatcoat]

Jack hadn't thought about that, and looked down at the tattoo curiously. "Well. It's possible that they could have used some sort of nanotechnology, and tricked my body into thinking that that's the way it's always been..." he said. But the fact was, he didn't know. He didn't even know if that sort of a thing were possible, or whether if he died and came back to life that he'd wake up with no tattoo, or whether he'd even come back at all. It frightened him, really, how many unknowns there suddenly were to the equation, with just pointing out that one, simple little fact. "I don't know," he said, honestly. "I don't... I really don't know."

[suitedforcoffee]

Ianto took a steadying breath against the same possibilities that were running through Jack's mind. This was no time to panic about it. "We'll figure it out," he reassured steadily, giving Jack's arm a gentle squeeze. "It's probably nothing."

Neither of them really believed that, but they had far too much on their plates right now. "Let's finish getting cleaned up and find our room." He soaped up Jack in return, taking his time, making sure to get every nook and cranny. It was a little more than strictly proficient, though. Jack must have died a hundred times since Ianto met him alone, but Ianto still felt the need to examine him for all his fingers and toes, to smooth his hands over skin as if it might suddenly bear impossible new scars. Especially now, with that damning tattoo, Ianto needed to be sure Jack was whole.

[capt_greatcoat]

And Jack was whole, at least in the physical sense. Emotionally, however... Well, he was getting better. Ianto was alive and so at least there was some of the guilt he was carrying around lessened. That didn't mean that it was gone, though. On the contrary, there was still a lot of guilt he was carrying around, about Ianto's death, about Stephen's. About the 456. About how he'd handled that and how he'd left Gwen. His past, and everything he could have, should have done. These last few months without Ianto, everything seemed to have just boiled up and become overwhelming enough that Jack had tried to run away from it all. Which hadn't really worked, in the long run

[suitedforcoffee]

Ianto wrapped his arms around Jack, quietly content at finding him whole and unchanged. Physically, Jack was as fit and fine as ever, but Ianto could tell something wasn't quite right. He'd developed a keen sense for these things over the past two years, and beyond what was immediately obvious, he could see plainly that Jack was more vulnerable than ever. Not all of it could be attributed to...what had happened to Ianto. Could it? No, not now that Ianto was here and well, and Jack still seemed strangely brittle. But he didn't ask. Jack would either tell him in his own time or keep his silence while taking comfort from him, but pushing Jack would be met with stubborn resistance

[capt_greatcoat]

Jack let Ianto step out of the water and away from him, turning to shut it off before taking the towel from him and giving himself a once-over with it. Ianto'd fuss if he got the bed wet from his shower, after all, like he always did, and he didn't really fancy having to get his only outfit wet either. Once he was done, he tucked the towel around his waist and waited for Ianto to be ready before he headed out to the lockers to go get dressed.

As he set about pulling his clothes back on - he would have stayed naked but god knows how long they'd be wandering around looking for the right place - he thought about maybe going to find something to eat before they settled down, but he really wasn't hungry. He just wanted to lie down with Ianto. Hold him in his arms and know that at least something was going right.

[suitedforcoffee]

The thought of food had also crossed Ianto's mind, mostly because he had seen the sign for the kitchens on their way to the showers. But he found he wasn't hungry, and chalked it up to whatever they must have fed him intravenously in the stasis chamber. Even if he'd felt peckish, his primary need at the moment was not food, but rest. Not evensleep so much as finding a place to wind down, to relax and sort out his head, preferably with Jack there to put him at ease and be his support.

Climbing back into his jumpsuit, Ianto took Jack's hand again, feeling vulnerable. He wasn't usually quite so touchy outside of the bedroom, but these were unusual circumstances to say the least. He kept feeling like he might fly off somewhere without Jack to ground him.

"Your place or mine?" he asked as lightly as he could.

[capt_greatcoat]

Jack gave it a moment's thought, but it didn't take much more than that. "Your place, if we can find it." There was something about living in a room with the number on the door being the number of the vault he'd spent over 100 years cryogenically frozen inside of that didn't really sit right with him. Plus, 007 was certainly a much more interesting number anyway.

"Let's hope that the bed's big enough," he said, with a smile. "You and I can both fit on a cot together if we need to, but it'll probably be a lot more comfortable for both of us if we don't have to." He squeezed Ianto's hand gently, as they started towards the door. Maybe Ianto wasn't so touchy outside of the bedroom - that was usually Jack's part instead - but he wasn't really questioning it at all. He had other things on his mind, and worrying about whether Ianto cared whether they were holding hands in public or not wasn't really on the top of his list at that moment.

[suitedforcoffee]

Accepting the decision without complaint -- 007 was one of his favorite numbers, after all -- Ianto smiled softly. "Right now I don't care one way or another, but if the bed is too small, we'll steal another one and push them together," he proclaimed decisively.

As it turned out, room 007 wasn't far. They'd almost passed it on their way to the showers. It wasn't locked as far as Ianto could tell, and he opened the door to find a small but serviceable double bedroom with two single beds, two bureaus, and two closets. He frowned at the two beds, hoping no one else had planned to room there. If they had, Ianto decided with a glance at Jack, they were out of luck.

With a sudden surge of energy, Ianto moved into the room and began shoving the two beds together. He'd think about arranging everything a bit more nicely later on, but for now they just needed one big bed.

[capt_greatcoat]

Jack quickly followed after Ianto, and getting the hint of what Ianto was doing from his suggestion earlier, stepped up and helped him push the beds together as close as they could, pulling the mattresses together until they formed one big bed, more or less. Luckily, the beds were already made up by whoever it was that had prepared everything for them to be there, so once they were pushed together, there was nothing more to do but that. Jack sighed softly before shooting a look at Ianto.

Jack got the feeling that they both could benefit from a little down-time together, so after a moment, he lay down and immediately held his hand out for Ianto to join him. "C'mere," he said, softly.

[suitedforcoffee]

Ianto kicked off his shoes before climbing in with Jack, immediately wrapping himself around the other man. Once settled, it was as if a filter in his mind switched off, and all the thoughts he'd been trying so hard to keep at bay flooded into his head, demanding attention. The most prominent, of course, was his status as deceased, and what the hell he was even doing here, how he was here if he was dead. It was made all the worse by not being able to remember things clearly enough to put everything in order, to make sense out of his jumbled thoughts. He didn't want to bring it up, didn't want to further contribute to Jack's pain, but he couldn't go on without knowing for sure, and Jack was the only person he could ask. He was the only person he would even think of talking to about it anyway.

Quietly, as if afraid to say it out loud, he mumbled, "I died, didn't I?"

[capt_greatcoat]

Jack settled in with his arm around Ianto in return, letting himself and the other man get comfortable before Ianto spoke up. He thought about not responding, he thought about lying, but Ianto was owed the truth, and so he would force himself to talk about it. He needed to talk about it. Even if it was the last thing that he wanted to do.

He nodded, after a long pause. "...yeah," he said, softly, trying to keep any other hints of emotion out of his answer but failing, because he'd always had the problem of wearing his heart on his sleeve when it mattered enough. "You did. In my arms..." He bit his lip, turning his eyes to the ceiling, slightly ashamed that even after all this time he still couldn't quite say it, but fighting through it anyway. But then...why was Ianto asking him? Shouldn't he know? Jack turned his head to look at Ianto as much as he could, given their close proximity. "...don't you remember?"

[suitedforcoffee]

Ianto shook his head slowly, fighting to keep his voice even. "Just impressions. Bits and pieces. It's coming back, bit by bit, but it's all confused and out of order. I remember that the hub blew up, that Gwen was pregnant. I remember being so afraid for you, needing to save you from someone. Most of the details aren't there yet... Though for some reason I can clearly remember how Rhys managed to cockblock us both with a pot of beans." He laughs shortly, a brief flare of humor in the midst of turmoil.

"I remember what I felt at the end," he continued, quiet again and subdued. "I knew I was dying. I know it was...them, the aliens we were saving the children from, but I can't remember how..." He took a shuddering breath, trying to recall what happened even as he cringed away from the emotions it invoked.

[capt_greatcoat]

Jack had to blink hard at the idea of Ianto being afraid for him, needing to save him, that he remembered that over the events of his own death. Was Ianto really that selfless, or were the events surrounding his death a lot more confusing than what had happened with the hub. "The Hub didn't blow up," he said, bitterly. "I did." He sighed, shifting to adjust his arm around Ianto, moving so that if the other man turned he wouldn't be able to see the look on his face.

"Let's start from the beginning. Where do things start to get jumpy for you? You remember that they were talking through the children, right? The aliens? 'We Are Coming' and all of that?" Jack was trying his hardest to stay emotionally distant from the whole matter, but the fact was that he couldn't remove himself enough to not be effected by what he was talking about even if he tried. The wounds were still raw, as it was.

[suitedforcoffee]

It wasn't so much that Ianto was that selfless, but that it was easier to deal with. His fear for Jack had been incredible, but it was past now. Ianto had succeeded in saving him. Ianto had not succeeded in saving himself, and that was a terrible enough thought without the added complication of being inexplicably alive for unknown reasons.

Ianto's breath hitched as Jack's words brought back some pieces that had eluded him. "It's hard to say where it starts... A few days, maybe a week or so. I remembered they were doing something to the children, but I didn't remember what it was until just now. I remembered what their demands were." He held onto Jack a little tighter, remembering now just how the hub blew up. It connected some of the dots, and Ianto wasn't sure he was happier for knowing why he'd had to rescue Jack.

[capt_greatcoat]

Jack nodded, moving to rub Ianto on the back gently. "You and Gwen, you were on the run. You came to find me, helped me escape from the assassins that were hired to get me out of the way. We set up camp in an abandoned warehouse that used to belong to Torchwood One, right outside of London. We found a woman who agreed to spy for us on the inside, Louis Habiba. And we... We found out what their demands were. How they wanted the children..." He trailed off, not sure he was able to go on. What came next was their confrontation of the 456 and their refusal to give into the demands. How it had resulted in their deaths, and the only reason Jack was around anymore was because he couldn't die. How he'd tried to save him, but he'd been too far gone himself to succeed. It'd been months but having the other man in his arms again, living and breathing, it was putting a really big strain on talking about the events of Ianto's death and anything thereafter.