Comments | atalanta: public poll post

atalanta

public poll post

Jan 28, 2007 12:22

Poll Relationships then and now

Comments 11

wrt the last question... julishka January 28 2007, 17:04:51 UTC

the thing is though, knowing me, yeah i think i could, but knowing who my dating pool was and how some of them turned out, probably not. so it's not just about me, but about the other person, too. knowing what some of the guys i really liked and kinda dated at the time & would have loved to have a serious relationship with, i don't think there is one who i'd still want to be with. i know my changes, but i also know their changes, and it's those changes that have confirmed i was right to not have had a serious relationship with them.

does that make sense? maybe my answer should be no? but it's because of them, not me.

Re: wrt the last question... atalanta January 28 2007, 17:12:09 UTC

That sounds like a yes to me since it's not really aimed at a specific pairing or dating pool. Sounds like you think you might have happily been with someone then and continued to be with them now, even if you didn't actually date the right person for it at the time. So yeah, that should be a yes.

For me .. I can't imagine being compatible with the same person then AND now, though I guess if you changed together in good ways it could work .. but it's really hard to imagine.

Re: wrt the last question... julishka January 28 2007, 17:18:48 UTC

that's the rub, though, it totally depends on chance/the other person.

amadea January 28 2007, 17:14:13 UTC

I did have a serious relationship at college age, but I knew even then that it was not likely to be a lifelong thing - it felt very much like we were practicing on each other - kind of learning the ropes.

iterum January 28 2007, 17:17:09 UTC

"Other" for question 2: It last seven years, mostly long-distance. I still don't know whether being together in the same place would have made it work or made it end sooner.

cris January 28 2007, 17:33:48 UTC

when I was in college, I was involved in three relationships of significant length, one felt serious at the time, but compared to the relationships I had after I graduated, it was pretty superficial. The other two were one-sided, with one of us being intensely infatuated, but the other wasn't really invested in the affair.

I'm pretty sure that two of them wouldn't have lasted. They were relationships of convenience; existing on a temporary equilibirium of physical attraction and a desire to avoid being alone. One might have lasted longer than it did, but the other person took her life on a path that I wouldn't have been willing to follow and I know that she wouldn't have sacrificed her plans to accomodate me ... even if I were armed with the experience that I possess now and didn't approach that relationship as foolishly as I did then.

curtana January 28 2007, 17:51:30 UTC

I think perhaps it makes a difference that forthright is four years older than me. I have a very hard time imagining still being with any of the guys my own age or a year or so older that I dated before he and I got together - which, I realized with a bit of shock yesterday, was nine years ago right around this time of year. I was 19 when we started dating, and now I'm 28. It seems like forever, and at the same time, not very long ago at all.