❀ tumblr crush; for zhonqrens
author: baeksbabygirl
for: zhonqrens
title: Tumblr Crush
rating: PG13 (with some language)
other pairings involved: mentioned Chanyeol/Jongin
length: ~4k
summary: Going through the stages of meeting someone online, befriending them, and then developing a crush on them is confusing sometimes. But for Sehun, it’s even more confusing meeting them in person.
notes: I’m sorry that this is so short. If I had more time to work on it, it would go into much more detail and honestly wouldn’t be this crappy, but I hope that despite all that you still like it.
Tumblr Crush
Sehun hadn’t seen it coming, and when do you ever see it coming - the whole “falling for a stranger” thing. Except Kyungsoo wasn’t really a stranger. They had known each other for a few months now, knew quite a lot about each other too, and maybe that was where he felt comfortable with the situation. Sehun felt comfortable telling Kyungsoo everything and anything about himself. Even though they had first met online.
No one ever really sees it coming, when you make a new friend. In elementary school it’s easy - you played with me at recess, we’re friends now. In high school it’s slightly more difficult, but hey you’re in Spanish club, and so am I! Common interests, hobbies, personality similarities. All of that plays a role in how people make friends and as a psychology major in college - at least that was what he was going for at the moment - Sehun knew the depth of each and every single way someone could make a friend, and also how to lose one as well.
And despite all of that, he hadn’t seen it coming when he met a certain Do Kyungsoo. Hadn’t seen it coming even though it seemed to hit him square in the face.
The two had started off as strangers - as most friends do in the beginning. You don’t know anything about them, and Sehun knew absolutely nothing about Kyungsoo. That is, he knew nothing except for his Tumblr username. It was words on a screen to him, though, it meant little and when he hit the ‘follow’ button it was just another blog that he deemed cool enough to start following. It hadn’t meant anything to him at first.
But then things changed a little. Sehun was a fan of photography, and though he was majoring - at the moment - in psychology, he had always wanted to go into photography and art. His parents, on the other hand, had always said it was impractical. Not many successful people ever majored in art, or even art history as Sehun had originally wanted. His parents favored the much more common, though still slightly out-there psychology major that happened to be his second, back-up choice. So he had conceded and now here he was. The bottom line, however, was that the hobby and interest in photography still existed. That was why, of course, most of his dashboard was covered with nature shots.
Calming, or vibrant, colorful or grey - Sehun scrolled through every day and sometimes the users tended to blend in. There were some text posts here and there, users that thought they were funny or smart or just wanted to vent about their days. So when he saw the ‘read more’ and the tagged ‘delete later’ he, of course, got curious - who wouldn’t?
What he read next would lead both Sehun and Kyungsoo into several months of a spiral of not only friendship, but also trust - and maybe a tad bit of flirtation from Sehun’s end.
It wasn’t a long post, and in fact it seemed relatively short in comparison to some of the similar posts that Sehun often saw, and also often tended to scroll past. He would sometimes send a quick message of encourage, of care and concern. Even to an almost complete stranger. The only thing Sehun knew about these people were that they liked to post cute animals, or pictures of mountains. That’s it. And most of the time, that was all Sehun needed to know.
But not here, and not now.
It’s all pointless. That was it, just those three words. Tagged with the oh-so-common ‘delete later’. It wasn’t a cry for help, it wasn’t a desperate plea for safety or encouragement or any of that. It was someone venting and putting their feelings on the page, putting it out there for however long. Maybe not for the world to see, but Sehun saw it anyway.
And he hadn’t clicked the ‘message’ button so quickly before, but almost immediately he was typing up a message that later he would look back on and wonder if there had been anything in his tea that morning. Because surely he had gone crazy.
He could look back at the message now, sure - though to do so he would need to scroll through days and days worth of back and forth. Of laughter and tears and emotions that only friends shared with one another. Because that was what they became after a while, after a few hours or a few days or a few weeks. He wasn’t even completely sure when they “became friends”. It’s not usually anything that someone can measure in time. It just happens gradually, or all of a sudden. It feels like suddenly you know everything about this person - and you’re asking yourself “when did I not know you?”. Sehun found himself asking similar questions through the progression of all of this, but he also asked himself why he felt the need to define this amazing, genuine friendship.
Online or in person, Sehun didn’t care. And neither did Kyungsoo.
At first, Sehun had offered Kyungsoo an ear to vent to. A shoulder to cry on, or just someone to hear him out. Of course, like any stranger online, his message was met with…skepticism. Sehun was aware of the chances of that happening, but he was ready. When he hit the ‘send’ button, the first thing in his mind was hope that the person on the other side would reply.
It took two days for Kyungsoo to see and reply to the message. Two days where Sehun worried and scrolled through his blog, wondering if he was okay. The original post had been deleted, as the tag had suggested, and yet there was just nothing. No activity, no likes or reblogs. At least, none that Sehun could see. And maybe he was becoming a little…obsessive over this complete stranger. But some part of him couldn’t help but feel so completely drawn and worried for this person. Because that’s exactly who it was across that screen from him, another person.
Sehun wasn’t sure when he started developing feelings for Kyungsoo - as more than just a friend - but it had to have started there, he was sure of it. They weren’t concrete feelings, and they weren’t romantic in nature, but it was a small spark in a massive wildfire that would become the next several months of their lives. A wildfire that Sehun was never sure he would be able to put out - and not really even sure he wanted to put out.
Two days later and Kyungsoo replied to him. A simple reply, and something that although the notification of the message excited Sehun, reading the actual thing made him frown.
I don’t understand why you care. You don’t know me.
That was it, that was the entirety of the message in reply. And maybe it was a bit of a ballsy move to respond the way he did, but he did it anyway and it paid off in the long run.
You’re wrong, I do know you. He started, I know that you post about poetry and Italian country sides. I know that you like French music, but have yet to travel to Europe because it’s too expensive on your low income. I know a few things about you, and maybe that’s not enough, but to me it’s enough to reach out and see how you’re doing.
Sehun’s message was met with silence. A response did not come back until well into the next day. When the notification popped up on Sehun’s screen, his eyes had widened and his eyebrows had raised. He hadn’t expected a reply, and in fact he had more than expected to be blocked by the other user - the other user who he still wasn’t completely sure the name of. Of all the personal details he knew from tags on Kyungsoo’s posts, he didn’t know his name.
That still doesn’t explain why you care.
Sehun knew these type of people - the type that were low on themselves and didn’t understand, or couldn’t see their own potential even if it was staring them right in the face. He was a psychology major, he studied brain waves and behavior and abnormal diseases of the mind. He understood what was going on and he would be damned if he didn’t try to at least help this…person understand their potential, too.
So he tried to tell this almost complete stranger why he cared so much for his well being, why he cared so much in general. And of the paragraph response that he created in reply, he did not receive anything quite as substantial back.
Okay.
That was it, a simple word that Sehun could not fathom meant very much to this stranger, whose name he would later learn was Do Kyungsoo. This person saw so little, felt so little in regard to themselves that it either surprised or aggravated them that someone - a basic stranger - would even reach out to extend a hand in concern. No matter the intentions, no matter anything else in this situation. And that had Sehun searching, reaching for more.
It took a few days - a few weeks really - before Kyungsoo responded in a fashion that Sehun could actually work with. They were on the road to friends first, they just had to get past being…well strangers.
You’re quite annoying with your constant pestering, you know that? Kyungsoo had written that as Sehun kept badgering him with questions. Not truly invasive questions - just asking him what his hobbies were and how long he had been on Tumblr for. Sehun laughed to himself at the message and began typing back a response immediately. Maybe he was a little too enthusiastic about this entire thing.
How am I supposed to get to know you if I don’t ask you questions? I do want to be your friend. And maybe it was a little pushy - okay, maybe a lot of pushy - but Sehun was determined and he wasn’t going anywhere.
Even if he had a paper to work on that was due by the end of the week. Somehow, Kyungsoo was more important. Sehun waited a minute before typing up something else, You know, I still don’t really know your name. But I’m Sehun. I’m a psychology major in university. What about you?
It was almost as if Sehun could hear or see Kyungsoo shaking his head on the other side of his computer - though that would come much later. When his response came back it brought a smile to Sehun’s face.
A longer response than he had gotten in the past two weeks of trying to get to know him. Kyungsoo replied, I suppose some people come to Tumblr to make friends. I’m Kyungsoo. I’m on a gap year right now, visiting family in Boston.
Sehun sat there for a moment in disbelief. Not only were they in the same time zone, but according to Kyungsoo, they were also in the same city. Same time zone, same city, probably the same family background as well if Kyungsoo’s name was any indication of his heritage. Sehun hadn’t met very many other Korean students in Boston, and most of those that he had met were either stuck up or not interested in making friends with other Koreans. They, apparently, came to Boston to make friends with the American students.
He couldn’t say he blamed them at all.
You wouldn’t believe this, I’m sure. But I’m studying in Boston, too.
And it went on like that, surprisingly well, actually. Responses shared back and forth, with Kyungsoo becoming more and more open each day.
They talked about some of the most random things, truly. And months after slowly warming up to each other, they were sharing laughs and ridiculous stories. Kyungsoo of his family members and all of the strange things they said to Sehun’s stories of his roommates and classmates and their constant idiocy when it came to…well, most things.
It was about two months after they had originally started talking that Sehun offered to video chat that night.
Their first Skype session ended awkwardly - and so did many of their other sessions, but after a while it became second nature to come back to his dorm and hop on a call with Kyungsoo. They had even started watching TV together through the video chats, laughing and groaning together. Even yelling at the show when one of the characters did something they didn’t agree with.
Sehun never would have imagined a type of friendship like this would have blossomed over the past nearly three months from someone he had met on Tumblr - from someone he met online in general.
And the odd thing about it was that the more Sehun talked and laughed and got to know Kyungsoo, the further he felt he was falling.
Maybe he wasn’t falling in love - it was hard to tell when he had never been in love before - but he was feeling something towards the other boy that he hadn’t felt towards anyone before in his life. Despite his months in the psychology program, despite his hours on studying exactly how emotional functions in the brain worked when someone was in love, he still couldn’t exactly pinpoint for himself whether it was there or not for him.
No, instead he decided to fall back on the elementary school way of professing his feelings towards someone else - by calling it a crush.
It was when Sehun’s roommate came in that night, after Sehun had just hung up on the phone with Kyungsoo that Chanyeol said something at all.
“Is this the guy you’ve been talking to online?” Chanyeol asked, raising an eyebrow in Sehun’s direction as he strode across the room and plopped his stuff down on the floor. Right before he sunk down deep into his mattress, stuffed full with plushies that Sehun would never understand why Chanyeol even had.
When Sehun had muttered a ‘yes’ in reply to his roommate’s question, Chanyeol scoffed.
“Don’t you know how dangerous guys are online? I didn’t think I would need to tell you that, Oh, but I mean…” and Chanyeol chuckled before shaking his head in disbelief, “Even guys can get hurt from other guys.”
This, of course, made Sehun roll his eyes, “I get it, Yeol. Trust me. But…he’s not like that.”
Chanyeol muttered something beneath his breath - which Sehun didn’t quite catch, before he was continuing aloud, “You say that now, but what happens when the two of you meet each other? I mean, are you planning on meeting him? He lives in the city, too, doesn’t he? I’ll go with you, if you really want to meet him, but I’d feel better knowing you were safe.”
And this had Sehun immensely surprised because Chanyeol usually…didn’t offer such things. Most days Chanyeol was wrapped up in his own boyfriend - or well, his on and off again boyfriend Kim Jongin. Most stories that Sehun told Kyungsoo of his roommates had to do with those two. What they had gotten into a fight about today or this week - and which nights he had been sex-iled from his own room so they could do unspeakable things which only made Sehun shudder - much to Kyungsoo’s amusement.
Despite Chanyeol’s offer, Sehun was pretty sure Kyungsoo would not be put at ease if they were to meet and Sehun’s roommate was to tag along. Nor would it ease Sehun, either. He trusted Kyungsoo, had been getting to know him for the past few months and as much as he wanted to meet the other boy - and know if his feelings were just a product of desperation, or true, he kind of wanted to do it on his own.
He was an adult and he trusted Kyungsoo, no matter how short of a time they had known each other, or even where they had met. They’d spoken over Skype, laughed together, stayed up late at night together, and Kyungsoo had even helped Sehun with his most recent English paper. While one of them - Sehun - had a natural inclination toward the sciences, he was absolute shit at English or History. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, had a knack for it.
“I’m good. Really.” Sehun said, packing up his things and getting ready to go to the library to finally write his Midterm exam paper.
Still, Chanyeol didn’t really believe him, if the expression on his face was any indication of his true thoughts. But no matter the expression on his face, Sehun’s roommate waved him off and wished him good luck on his paper - telling him that they would celebrate together as soon as they finished turning in their exams.
Sehun only shook his head and headed out the door…
...
It was after midterms, and about halfway through the winter break that Sehun decided to come up with the brilliant idea to meet Kyungsoo for lunch one day. The night before he had mentioned it in passing, and the other boy had seemed almost excited about it, whereas he had felt nervous and anxious all day and night thinking about it.
This wasn’t just a regular crush with someone, it was a crush on someone who he had met online and whom, although having never met in person, shared so much in common with already. Sehun was scared and he wondered if maybe he should contact Chanyeol to tag along with him or if he should trust his original instincts and trust Kyungsoo not to turn into some kind of shady person. The truth was, Sehun already had an idea of who Do Kyungsoo was, and he wasn’t some killer or criminal. Not in the slightest. He was just another college kid who happened to be in Boston the same time that Sehun was.
So when Sehun had brought up the idea of the two of them walking around the Commons together and getting hot chocolate or coffee to keep warm as they walked around, he was a little surprised - but also kind of relieved - when Kyungsoo said yes.
“Sure!” he said, and Sehun nearly melted at the brief smile the other boy showed him through the video chat. He seemed even excited about the proposition of meeting. “I’ll bring you one of those photography books we were talking about earlier, yeah?” and Sehun wasn’t capable of doing anything else other than nod and smile gently. The rest of the night he was relatively quiet, but Kyungsoo didn’t seem to notice a thing, taking on the conversation with his passions as always.
And to think that their first interaction had been out of Kyungsoo feeling lonely. Sehun never would have thought those two people were the same. And yet - they completely were at the same time.
When he awoke the next morning and remembered he would be meeting Kyungsoo face-to-face for the first time, he had a little bit of a panic attack.
His brother’s apartment was already quite a mess, but it turned even slightly messier with Sehun running around as if he was a chicken with his head cut off. He was nervous and anxious and he even felt a little silly rummaging through his drawers and closet trying to find something nice to wear. Was he doing it to impress Kyungsoo?
He honestly couldn’t tell.
When he left his brother’s apartment around eleven to be able to get to the train station in time, he looked back and saw the mess he had made around the entire small apartment and groaned both inward and outward, muttering to himself that his brother was going to kill him when he got home from work later that evening…
It took him a little while to find Kyungsoo, and to be honest, he wasn’t even sure from so far away that the small man standing by the tree alone was the Do Kyungsoo he had been speaking with over video chat for the past almost 4 months. Sehun hadn’t imagined Kyungsoo to be a certain height, per say, but looking at the other boy now and realizing he was several inches shorter than he was, he felt almost silly. Wasn’t he the younger one, anyway? So shouldn’t this be the other way around?
Though at his height, it was almost near impossible to find someone taller than he was. Still…
“K-kyungsoo?” Sehun stuttered when he got closer to the boy, cocking his head to the side and burying his face slightly into his oversized scarf. He had decided on jeans and a button down, but it was too cold to just go out in that, so he had donned a scarf his mother had bought him before he had moved with his brother to Boston, and then the jacket he had bought for himself upon moving here as well. Warm as his top half was, his legs were chilled through the denim.
“Sehun!” Kyungsoo seemed surprised - just as he was - but also genuinely happy to see Sehun there before him. It was an odd sensation running through his body. Not just feeling the cold of the air, but the strange rush when he saw Kyungsoo’s smile in person. It was even more brilliant in person than it was over the computer screen. Though subdued in some ways than it was in others, it was still a great smile that Sehun realized he had been falling for the past few months.
And now - today - he had the chance to tell Kyungsoo to his face how he felt.
But was he actually going to go through with it? Sehun honestly wasn’t sure if he had enough courage to say it aloud. But he was going to try, at least sometime today.
Their morning started off as an awkward walk through the Commons, Sehun huddled inside his jacket and scarf for protection against the cold, and Kyungsoo walking beside him wrapped up warmly in his own jacket and scarf. The height difference made Sehun almost want to laugh. He kind of wanted to tuck his arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders and draw him closer.
But he kept his hands and arms to himself, buried inside his scarf and refusing to say something first.
“So…” Kyungsoo started, making Sehun look down and over, eyebrows raised in question, “Where did you want to go to eat?” and then it came flooding back to him that he was the one that suggested going to get hot chocolate depending on the weather. He supposed he should pick a place then, hmm?
It didn’t take them a long time to find somewhere, but when they did find a nearby Starbucks, almost right next to the Commons, Sehun couldn’t think of anything to say. And apparently, neither could Kyungsoo. The two remained there quietly sipping at their chocolate before Kyungsoo finally brought something up.
“You’re taller than I thought you would be.” He said, and then seemed embarrassed by saying it aloud, which only resulted in the other boy blushing quite brightly, cheeks flaring an adorable pink. Sehun laughed, smiling.
“You’re much shorter than I thought you would be, too.” at that, Kyungsoo continued to blush but he also shrugged.
“I like that you’re tall though.” And his cheeks were still colored a fresh pink, like they had been colored with blush. Sehun couldn’t stop looking at his face, and maybe his distraction was what called for the sudden outburst of what he said next.
“I like you, too.” and then, as if realizing after what he had just said, his eyes bulged before he was hearing Kyungsoo’s delicate laugh.
He shook his head, but the smile was still ever present, “I like you, too, Sehun.”
for: zhonqrens
title: Tumblr Crush
rating: PG13 (with some language)
other pairings involved: mentioned Chanyeol/Jongin
length: ~4k
summary: Going through the stages of meeting someone online, befriending them, and then developing a crush on them is confusing sometimes. But for Sehun, it’s even more confusing meeting them in person.
notes: I’m sorry that this is so short. If I had more time to work on it, it would go into much more detail and honestly wouldn’t be this crappy, but I hope that despite all that you still like it.
Tumblr Crush
Sehun hadn’t seen it coming, and when do you ever see it coming - the whole “falling for a stranger” thing. Except Kyungsoo wasn’t really a stranger. They had known each other for a few months now, knew quite a lot about each other too, and maybe that was where he felt comfortable with the situation. Sehun felt comfortable telling Kyungsoo everything and anything about himself. Even though they had first met online.
No one ever really sees it coming, when you make a new friend. In elementary school it’s easy - you played with me at recess, we’re friends now. In high school it’s slightly more difficult, but hey you’re in Spanish club, and so am I! Common interests, hobbies, personality similarities. All of that plays a role in how people make friends and as a psychology major in college - at least that was what he was going for at the moment - Sehun knew the depth of each and every single way someone could make a friend, and also how to lose one as well.
And despite all of that, he hadn’t seen it coming when he met a certain Do Kyungsoo. Hadn’t seen it coming even though it seemed to hit him square in the face.
The two had started off as strangers - as most friends do in the beginning. You don’t know anything about them, and Sehun knew absolutely nothing about Kyungsoo. That is, he knew nothing except for his Tumblr username. It was words on a screen to him, though, it meant little and when he hit the ‘follow’ button it was just another blog that he deemed cool enough to start following. It hadn’t meant anything to him at first.
But then things changed a little. Sehun was a fan of photography, and though he was majoring - at the moment - in psychology, he had always wanted to go into photography and art. His parents, on the other hand, had always said it was impractical. Not many successful people ever majored in art, or even art history as Sehun had originally wanted. His parents favored the much more common, though still slightly out-there psychology major that happened to be his second, back-up choice. So he had conceded and now here he was. The bottom line, however, was that the hobby and interest in photography still existed. That was why, of course, most of his dashboard was covered with nature shots.
Calming, or vibrant, colorful or grey - Sehun scrolled through every day and sometimes the users tended to blend in. There were some text posts here and there, users that thought they were funny or smart or just wanted to vent about their days. So when he saw the ‘read more’ and the tagged ‘delete later’ he, of course, got curious - who wouldn’t?
What he read next would lead both Sehun and Kyungsoo into several months of a spiral of not only friendship, but also trust - and maybe a tad bit of flirtation from Sehun’s end.
It wasn’t a long post, and in fact it seemed relatively short in comparison to some of the similar posts that Sehun often saw, and also often tended to scroll past. He would sometimes send a quick message of encourage, of care and concern. Even to an almost complete stranger. The only thing Sehun knew about these people were that they liked to post cute animals, or pictures of mountains. That’s it. And most of the time, that was all Sehun needed to know.
But not here, and not now.
It’s all pointless. That was it, just those three words. Tagged with the oh-so-common ‘delete later’. It wasn’t a cry for help, it wasn’t a desperate plea for safety or encouragement or any of that. It was someone venting and putting their feelings on the page, putting it out there for however long. Maybe not for the world to see, but Sehun saw it anyway.
And he hadn’t clicked the ‘message’ button so quickly before, but almost immediately he was typing up a message that later he would look back on and wonder if there had been anything in his tea that morning. Because surely he had gone crazy.
He could look back at the message now, sure - though to do so he would need to scroll through days and days worth of back and forth. Of laughter and tears and emotions that only friends shared with one another. Because that was what they became after a while, after a few hours or a few days or a few weeks. He wasn’t even completely sure when they “became friends”. It’s not usually anything that someone can measure in time. It just happens gradually, or all of a sudden. It feels like suddenly you know everything about this person - and you’re asking yourself “when did I not know you?”. Sehun found himself asking similar questions through the progression of all of this, but he also asked himself why he felt the need to define this amazing, genuine friendship.
Online or in person, Sehun didn’t care. And neither did Kyungsoo.
At first, Sehun had offered Kyungsoo an ear to vent to. A shoulder to cry on, or just someone to hear him out. Of course, like any stranger online, his message was met with…skepticism. Sehun was aware of the chances of that happening, but he was ready. When he hit the ‘send’ button, the first thing in his mind was hope that the person on the other side would reply.
It took two days for Kyungsoo to see and reply to the message. Two days where Sehun worried and scrolled through his blog, wondering if he was okay. The original post had been deleted, as the tag had suggested, and yet there was just nothing. No activity, no likes or reblogs. At least, none that Sehun could see. And maybe he was becoming a little…obsessive over this complete stranger. But some part of him couldn’t help but feel so completely drawn and worried for this person. Because that’s exactly who it was across that screen from him, another person.
Sehun wasn’t sure when he started developing feelings for Kyungsoo - as more than just a friend - but it had to have started there, he was sure of it. They weren’t concrete feelings, and they weren’t romantic in nature, but it was a small spark in a massive wildfire that would become the next several months of their lives. A wildfire that Sehun was never sure he would be able to put out - and not really even sure he wanted to put out.
Two days later and Kyungsoo replied to him. A simple reply, and something that although the notification of the message excited Sehun, reading the actual thing made him frown.
I don’t understand why you care. You don’t know me.
That was it, that was the entirety of the message in reply. And maybe it was a bit of a ballsy move to respond the way he did, but he did it anyway and it paid off in the long run.
You’re wrong, I do know you. He started, I know that you post about poetry and Italian country sides. I know that you like French music, but have yet to travel to Europe because it’s too expensive on your low income. I know a few things about you, and maybe that’s not enough, but to me it’s enough to reach out and see how you’re doing.
Sehun’s message was met with silence. A response did not come back until well into the next day. When the notification popped up on Sehun’s screen, his eyes had widened and his eyebrows had raised. He hadn’t expected a reply, and in fact he had more than expected to be blocked by the other user - the other user who he still wasn’t completely sure the name of. Of all the personal details he knew from tags on Kyungsoo’s posts, he didn’t know his name.
That still doesn’t explain why you care.
Sehun knew these type of people - the type that were low on themselves and didn’t understand, or couldn’t see their own potential even if it was staring them right in the face. He was a psychology major, he studied brain waves and behavior and abnormal diseases of the mind. He understood what was going on and he would be damned if he didn’t try to at least help this…person understand their potential, too.
So he tried to tell this almost complete stranger why he cared so much for his well being, why he cared so much in general. And of the paragraph response that he created in reply, he did not receive anything quite as substantial back.
Okay.
That was it, a simple word that Sehun could not fathom meant very much to this stranger, whose name he would later learn was Do Kyungsoo. This person saw so little, felt so little in regard to themselves that it either surprised or aggravated them that someone - a basic stranger - would even reach out to extend a hand in concern. No matter the intentions, no matter anything else in this situation. And that had Sehun searching, reaching for more.
It took a few days - a few weeks really - before Kyungsoo responded in a fashion that Sehun could actually work with. They were on the road to friends first, they just had to get past being…well strangers.
You’re quite annoying with your constant pestering, you know that? Kyungsoo had written that as Sehun kept badgering him with questions. Not truly invasive questions - just asking him what his hobbies were and how long he had been on Tumblr for. Sehun laughed to himself at the message and began typing back a response immediately. Maybe he was a little too enthusiastic about this entire thing.
How am I supposed to get to know you if I don’t ask you questions? I do want to be your friend. And maybe it was a little pushy - okay, maybe a lot of pushy - but Sehun was determined and he wasn’t going anywhere.
Even if he had a paper to work on that was due by the end of the week. Somehow, Kyungsoo was more important. Sehun waited a minute before typing up something else, You know, I still don’t really know your name. But I’m Sehun. I’m a psychology major in university. What about you?
It was almost as if Sehun could hear or see Kyungsoo shaking his head on the other side of his computer - though that would come much later. When his response came back it brought a smile to Sehun’s face.
A longer response than he had gotten in the past two weeks of trying to get to know him. Kyungsoo replied, I suppose some people come to Tumblr to make friends. I’m Kyungsoo. I’m on a gap year right now, visiting family in Boston.
Sehun sat there for a moment in disbelief. Not only were they in the same time zone, but according to Kyungsoo, they were also in the same city. Same time zone, same city, probably the same family background as well if Kyungsoo’s name was any indication of his heritage. Sehun hadn’t met very many other Korean students in Boston, and most of those that he had met were either stuck up or not interested in making friends with other Koreans. They, apparently, came to Boston to make friends with the American students.
He couldn’t say he blamed them at all.
You wouldn’t believe this, I’m sure. But I’m studying in Boston, too.
And it went on like that, surprisingly well, actually. Responses shared back and forth, with Kyungsoo becoming more and more open each day.
They talked about some of the most random things, truly. And months after slowly warming up to each other, they were sharing laughs and ridiculous stories. Kyungsoo of his family members and all of the strange things they said to Sehun’s stories of his roommates and classmates and their constant idiocy when it came to…well, most things.
It was about two months after they had originally started talking that Sehun offered to video chat that night.
Their first Skype session ended awkwardly - and so did many of their other sessions, but after a while it became second nature to come back to his dorm and hop on a call with Kyungsoo. They had even started watching TV together through the video chats, laughing and groaning together. Even yelling at the show when one of the characters did something they didn’t agree with.
Sehun never would have imagined a type of friendship like this would have blossomed over the past nearly three months from someone he had met on Tumblr - from someone he met online in general.
And the odd thing about it was that the more Sehun talked and laughed and got to know Kyungsoo, the further he felt he was falling.
Maybe he wasn’t falling in love - it was hard to tell when he had never been in love before - but he was feeling something towards the other boy that he hadn’t felt towards anyone before in his life. Despite his months in the psychology program, despite his hours on studying exactly how emotional functions in the brain worked when someone was in love, he still couldn’t exactly pinpoint for himself whether it was there or not for him.
No, instead he decided to fall back on the elementary school way of professing his feelings towards someone else - by calling it a crush.
It was when Sehun’s roommate came in that night, after Sehun had just hung up on the phone with Kyungsoo that Chanyeol said something at all.
“Is this the guy you’ve been talking to online?” Chanyeol asked, raising an eyebrow in Sehun’s direction as he strode across the room and plopped his stuff down on the floor. Right before he sunk down deep into his mattress, stuffed full with plushies that Sehun would never understand why Chanyeol even had.
When Sehun had muttered a ‘yes’ in reply to his roommate’s question, Chanyeol scoffed.
“Don’t you know how dangerous guys are online? I didn’t think I would need to tell you that, Oh, but I mean…” and Chanyeol chuckled before shaking his head in disbelief, “Even guys can get hurt from other guys.”
This, of course, made Sehun roll his eyes, “I get it, Yeol. Trust me. But…he’s not like that.”
Chanyeol muttered something beneath his breath - which Sehun didn’t quite catch, before he was continuing aloud, “You say that now, but what happens when the two of you meet each other? I mean, are you planning on meeting him? He lives in the city, too, doesn’t he? I’ll go with you, if you really want to meet him, but I’d feel better knowing you were safe.”
And this had Sehun immensely surprised because Chanyeol usually…didn’t offer such things. Most days Chanyeol was wrapped up in his own boyfriend - or well, his on and off again boyfriend Kim Jongin. Most stories that Sehun told Kyungsoo of his roommates had to do with those two. What they had gotten into a fight about today or this week - and which nights he had been sex-iled from his own room so they could do unspeakable things which only made Sehun shudder - much to Kyungsoo’s amusement.
Despite Chanyeol’s offer, Sehun was pretty sure Kyungsoo would not be put at ease if they were to meet and Sehun’s roommate was to tag along. Nor would it ease Sehun, either. He trusted Kyungsoo, had been getting to know him for the past few months and as much as he wanted to meet the other boy - and know if his feelings were just a product of desperation, or true, he kind of wanted to do it on his own.
He was an adult and he trusted Kyungsoo, no matter how short of a time they had known each other, or even where they had met. They’d spoken over Skype, laughed together, stayed up late at night together, and Kyungsoo had even helped Sehun with his most recent English paper. While one of them - Sehun - had a natural inclination toward the sciences, he was absolute shit at English or History. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, had a knack for it.
“I’m good. Really.” Sehun said, packing up his things and getting ready to go to the library to finally write his Midterm exam paper.
Still, Chanyeol didn’t really believe him, if the expression on his face was any indication of his true thoughts. But no matter the expression on his face, Sehun’s roommate waved him off and wished him good luck on his paper - telling him that they would celebrate together as soon as they finished turning in their exams.
Sehun only shook his head and headed out the door…
...
It was after midterms, and about halfway through the winter break that Sehun decided to come up with the brilliant idea to meet Kyungsoo for lunch one day. The night before he had mentioned it in passing, and the other boy had seemed almost excited about it, whereas he had felt nervous and anxious all day and night thinking about it.
This wasn’t just a regular crush with someone, it was a crush on someone who he had met online and whom, although having never met in person, shared so much in common with already. Sehun was scared and he wondered if maybe he should contact Chanyeol to tag along with him or if he should trust his original instincts and trust Kyungsoo not to turn into some kind of shady person. The truth was, Sehun already had an idea of who Do Kyungsoo was, and he wasn’t some killer or criminal. Not in the slightest. He was just another college kid who happened to be in Boston the same time that Sehun was.
So when Sehun had brought up the idea of the two of them walking around the Commons together and getting hot chocolate or coffee to keep warm as they walked around, he was a little surprised - but also kind of relieved - when Kyungsoo said yes.
“Sure!” he said, and Sehun nearly melted at the brief smile the other boy showed him through the video chat. He seemed even excited about the proposition of meeting. “I’ll bring you one of those photography books we were talking about earlier, yeah?” and Sehun wasn’t capable of doing anything else other than nod and smile gently. The rest of the night he was relatively quiet, but Kyungsoo didn’t seem to notice a thing, taking on the conversation with his passions as always.
And to think that their first interaction had been out of Kyungsoo feeling lonely. Sehun never would have thought those two people were the same. And yet - they completely were at the same time.
When he awoke the next morning and remembered he would be meeting Kyungsoo face-to-face for the first time, he had a little bit of a panic attack.
His brother’s apartment was already quite a mess, but it turned even slightly messier with Sehun running around as if he was a chicken with his head cut off. He was nervous and anxious and he even felt a little silly rummaging through his drawers and closet trying to find something nice to wear. Was he doing it to impress Kyungsoo?
He honestly couldn’t tell.
When he left his brother’s apartment around eleven to be able to get to the train station in time, he looked back and saw the mess he had made around the entire small apartment and groaned both inward and outward, muttering to himself that his brother was going to kill him when he got home from work later that evening…
It took him a little while to find Kyungsoo, and to be honest, he wasn’t even sure from so far away that the small man standing by the tree alone was the Do Kyungsoo he had been speaking with over video chat for the past almost 4 months. Sehun hadn’t imagined Kyungsoo to be a certain height, per say, but looking at the other boy now and realizing he was several inches shorter than he was, he felt almost silly. Wasn’t he the younger one, anyway? So shouldn’t this be the other way around?
Though at his height, it was almost near impossible to find someone taller than he was. Still…
“K-kyungsoo?” Sehun stuttered when he got closer to the boy, cocking his head to the side and burying his face slightly into his oversized scarf. He had decided on jeans and a button down, but it was too cold to just go out in that, so he had donned a scarf his mother had bought him before he had moved with his brother to Boston, and then the jacket he had bought for himself upon moving here as well. Warm as his top half was, his legs were chilled through the denim.
“Sehun!” Kyungsoo seemed surprised - just as he was - but also genuinely happy to see Sehun there before him. It was an odd sensation running through his body. Not just feeling the cold of the air, but the strange rush when he saw Kyungsoo’s smile in person. It was even more brilliant in person than it was over the computer screen. Though subdued in some ways than it was in others, it was still a great smile that Sehun realized he had been falling for the past few months.
And now - today - he had the chance to tell Kyungsoo to his face how he felt.
But was he actually going to go through with it? Sehun honestly wasn’t sure if he had enough courage to say it aloud. But he was going to try, at least sometime today.
Their morning started off as an awkward walk through the Commons, Sehun huddled inside his jacket and scarf for protection against the cold, and Kyungsoo walking beside him wrapped up warmly in his own jacket and scarf. The height difference made Sehun almost want to laugh. He kind of wanted to tuck his arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders and draw him closer.
But he kept his hands and arms to himself, buried inside his scarf and refusing to say something first.
“So…” Kyungsoo started, making Sehun look down and over, eyebrows raised in question, “Where did you want to go to eat?” and then it came flooding back to him that he was the one that suggested going to get hot chocolate depending on the weather. He supposed he should pick a place then, hmm?
It didn’t take them a long time to find somewhere, but when they did find a nearby Starbucks, almost right next to the Commons, Sehun couldn’t think of anything to say. And apparently, neither could Kyungsoo. The two remained there quietly sipping at their chocolate before Kyungsoo finally brought something up.
“You’re taller than I thought you would be.” He said, and then seemed embarrassed by saying it aloud, which only resulted in the other boy blushing quite brightly, cheeks flaring an adorable pink. Sehun laughed, smiling.
“You’re much shorter than I thought you would be, too.” at that, Kyungsoo continued to blush but he also shrugged.
“I like that you’re tall though.” And his cheeks were still colored a fresh pink, like they had been colored with blush. Sehun couldn’t stop looking at his face, and maybe his distraction was what called for the sudden outburst of what he said next.
“I like you, too.” and then, as if realizing after what he had just said, his eyes bulged before he was hearing Kyungsoo’s delicate laugh.
He shook his head, but the smile was still ever present, “I like you, too, Sehun.”