Second Time Around, 4/5
Work ramped up for Jun over the next several weeks, but it made the free moments he got to spend with Sho all the sweeter. They went out for a meal at least once a week or Sho happily paid for the ingredients, asking Jun to cook for him at home. They kissed. A lot. They talked. A lot. After that first night at Sho’s apartment, where Jun had reiterated again and again that Sho was the only person in his life now, where Sho had told Jun how much he wanted him, they’d come to decide that honesty was the best policy.
He fell asleep watching TV on Sho’s couch some nights, waking up only when Sho started unbuttoning his shirt, scattering kisses across his abdomen, swirling his eager tongue around one of Jun’s nipples. They went for long drives in Sho’s car, Jun deliberately ignoring the unsexy child safety seat in the back as he watched Sho in profile, watched the rhythm of his fingers tapping the steering wheel. Together they drove for hours, wasting gas, listening to the radio and letting out little frustrations from work. Everything was made better one night when Sho parked in the garage beneath his building, unzipping Jun’s slacks without asking and sucking his cock for the very first time so perfectly he accidentally swung his hand out and turned on Sho’s windshield wipers. Sho’s new nickname for him was “Wiper-san,” an inside joke that colored most of their texts back and forth now.
After that first amazing experience, feeling Sho’s lips close around the head of his cock for the first time, he wanted to return the favor. Most admins at Sakurai Medical Supply had access to a shared company calendar, and since Takenaka-san had occasional meetings with Sho or other members of his group, he didn’t feel any nervousness when he called up Aragaki-san, the new admin in Sho’s group, the woman who’d gotten the job Jun had deliberately refused to interview for.
“Aragaki-san, this is Matsumoto up in Takenaka Naoto-san’s office.”
“Thanks for your hard work today, Matsumoto-san!”
“Same to you. I’m seeing an opening on Sakurai-san’s calendar this afternoon, 2:00 PM?”
“Yes, that’s correct. He had a 1:30 that was canceled, but he’s free until 3:30 now. Do you need me to find time for him to meet with Takenaka-san today?”
“Actually, I was hoping to meet with him myself. It’s about a client meeting Takenaka-san has in Hong Kong next week. I’m helping to coordinate a dinner for him and the clients, and I thought perhaps Sakurai-san knew a few places.”
“Oh, I see. Let me put you on his calendar for 2:00 then. I’ll schedule you for half an hour, how’s that?”
“That would be great, thank you.”
To be fair, he really did want to ask Sho about Hong Kong, but he obviously could have done that through email. Or in person, off the clock. Whether Aragaki-san thought his request was strange or not, he didn’t much care. Nobody at work knew about their relationship, and they had every intention of keeping it that way for now. And if anyone asked, they could easily say that they were old friends. That was true, of course.
At 1:55, with Takenaka-san off at improv for the week, Jun took the elevator down to Sho’s floor, straightening his tie and smoothing his hands down his jacket. He tapped his pen against his notepad as he exited, walking through the mass of work stations en route to Aragaki-san’s desk, which was right outside of Sho’s office.
She brightened when he arrived. “Good timing, he just got off the phone.”
“Wonderful, thanks for setting this up so last minute.”
He knocked on Sho’s door, hearing a “come on in!” Before Sho could tell him to leave it open, Jun shut it behind him. While the executive floor had fancier offices, with frosted glass interior walls, Sho’s office was more box-like, painted walls and one large window looking out with slightly crooked blinds. His desk, much like his bedroom, was a mess. Stacks of papers and file folders, a computer monitor covered in colorful post-it note reminders.
“I saw your name pop up on my calendar,” Sho said, looking confused. He’d gotten up when the door had opened, was standing a little awkwardly beside his chair. “What’s wrong?”
Jun moved over to Sho’s desk, setting down his notepad and pen. He then started to take off his suit jacket.
“Whoa,” Sho said, lowering his voice. “What the hell are you doing?”
Jun ignored him, not looking away as he settled his jacket on one of the chairs in front of Sho’s desk. He undid the buttons at his wrists, rolling up his sleeves.
“Matsujun, stop,” Sho said, looking past his shoulder to his very much unlocked door. “The fuck is going on?”
He moved around Sho’s desk, taking his phone from his pocket. Holding up a finger briefly to inform Sho to wait for a response, he scrolled through his texts, finding the one in question. It was from a night three weeks ago, when Sho had been slightly tipsy coming back from some colleague’s wedding reception. “Did you or did you not send me this text?”
One day you should come to my office and suck me off.
Sho’s eyes widened, and he rested a hand on his chair. “I was…I wasn’t serious!” It was kind of hilarious listening to Sho try and keep his hysterics in check. The soundproofing on these offices probably wasn’t that good, but the chatter amongst Sho’s employees probably made it so that Aragaki-san wouldn’t hear a thing.
Jun looked back at his screen, letting out a little “hmm” of confusion. “I don’t know, Sakurai-san, you didn’t use any smily face or winky face emoji that might have better conveyed your lack of seriousness.”
Sho was nervous, sure, but there was a slight smile on his face. “Did you really come down here for that?”
“Technically,” Jun said, setting his phone down on Sho’s desk, “I’m here to ask you for recommendations for Hong Kong restaurants. Takenaka-san’s looking for something different than usual, and you’re such a world traveler.”
“You’re out of your mind,” Sho whispered.
“Do you want to offer your recommendations now or after I swallow your come?”
“Oh my god,” Sho said, looking away, putting his hand over his mouth. When he looked back, he was shaking his head. “We might get caught.”
“Isn’t that the fun part?”
“Matsujun,” Sho said. “No way.”
“Sit down.”
“Matsujun…”
“I said sit down,” he said, lowering his voice in a way he knew Sho liked.
Sho did as he was told, and Jun knew he had him then. But Sho made sure to turn his chair so the back of it was to his desk, offering him at least some privacy in case Aragaki-san had to make a desperate interruption. Jun watched Sho nearly collapse into the chair, scooting his butt until he was sitting near the edge of it with his legs spread. He was in the tie Jun had picked for him weeks back when they were still flirting and one of his best suits, a dark gray with slacks that showed off the curve of his perfect ass. It was too bad Jun had come down to worship the front of him when Sho had so much to offer in back as well.
Jun knelt down before him, resting his face against Sho’s leg. “For the sake of that innocent-looking admin you have out there, you know you have to be quiet, right?”
“No shit.”
Jun smiled. “You’re mad at me.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re mad that I did this during business hours so you can’t do anything but shut your fucking mouth and take it.”
Sho scowled down at him. “Well, are you going to talk the whole time or are you going to do what you came here to do?”
“That’s the spirit,” Jun whispered.
He wasn’t terribly surprised when he unzipped Sho’s slacks, unbuttoning his boring gray boxers to find that he was half-hard already. Jun had learned over the past few weeks that it didn’t take much to get Sho hard. It had been a while since he’d been with anyone, and his desperation for Jun sometimes, the way he clung to Jun when they kissed, well, it spoke of someone who hadn’t had his cock sucked in a very long time. Jun was eager to do a good job.
He stroked Sho for a little while, looking up and keeping Sho’s attention. He was making some rather funny faces, little gasps and winces because he couldn’t really let his feelings be known. Jun had only been acquainted with Sho’s dick through his clothes so far, so it felt like a wonderful leap forward in their relationship to touch him for the first time, to admire the increasingly hard length of him in his hand.
“Has anyone besides you ever touched your dick in this office?”
“I don’t jack off at work,” Sho said, offended.
“Well surely you scratch your balls from time to time…”
“For fuck’s sake,” Sho moaned quietly when Jun’s thumb stroked the head of his cock, teasing across his slit. “Don’t torture me…and don’t ruin my suit.”
Jun chuckled. “Why don’t you think of Hong Kong?”
“Why don’t you…”
Jun finally broke their eye contact, licking all the way up the underside of Sho’s cock, slowly, slowly, from the base of his shaft poking out of his boxers to the head. When Sho let out a strangled little noise, Jun repeated the motion. He flicked his eyes to the side briefly, saw the way Sho’s hand was gripping the arm of his chair, knuckles white. He nearly ruined Sho with his teasing, pressing sloppy kisses and little sucks to the head of his cock, secretly wishing that Sho would make some real noise.
Instead he kept breathing unsteadily, holding adorably tight to his chair, his legs shaking to either side of Jun’s shoulders as Jun took his cock in his mouth. Even on his knees, in the most vulnerable position here with Sho’s cock filling his mouth, he felt he could do this for hours. He shut his eyes, one hand slowly stroking him while he sucked. With his free hand, he reached for Sho’s, detaching him from the arm of his chair. Sho let out a tiny gasp of pleasure when Jun brought Sho’s hand to the top of his head.
With Sho’s hand there, Jun let Sho take some measure of control back. Sho’s fingers tightened in the short strands of Jun’s dark hair and before too long Sho was pushing his head a little, making him take his cock deeper into his mouth. Jun knew he was probably going to get drool onto Sho’s slacks, but he had definitely listened to Aragaki-san earlier when she’d said Sho was free until 3:30. Surely he’d dry off by then. As Sho forced Jun’s head up and down in a slightly unsteady motion, Jun tightened his grip, hearing Sho’s gentle moan of approval.
The phone on Sho’s desk rang, and they both froze. Keeping calm, Jun lifted his head, wiping some saliva from his mouth with his thumb to check the caller ID. “It says Matsuoka.”
“Let it go to voicemail.”
The phone rang four more times as Jun pumped Sho hard, tonguing the head of his cock. When the ringing stopped, Sho’s hand was back, pushing him harder and harder until Jun had tears in his eyes, was close to gagging a few times. The sensation was unreal, letting Sho dictate exactly what he wanted. Dorky dad was kind of dirty. And Jun loved it.
Soon Sho couldn’t take it any more, Jun adoring his little hum of approval as he gave in, feeling the sudden warmth fill his mouth. Jun stopped, stunned when Sho’s hand suddenly grasped his messy, spittle-covered chin. “Wait,” Sho demanded, his voice so insistent that Jun nearly moaned. He felt Sho’s fingers move, past his lips, two of them landing on Jun’s bottom teeth and pushing down. Jun could only look up in surprise, seeing Sho smile at the sight of his come still sitting on Jun’s tongue.
Sho released him. “Go ahead.”
Jun did as directed, unable to look away as he swallowed down the rest of the bitter taste. This time Sho didn’t have to force his mouth open. He opened up, let Sho see it was all gone, that he’d taken all of it.
Sho smiled even bigger this time. “You’re good.”
He hadn’t expected that sort of grand finale, not with someone as silly as Sho. He got to his feet, shaking a little in surprise. Sho was turning in his chair, reaching for a box of tissue. He gave Jun a handful, using some more to clean himself. “Here,” he said, handing Jun the tissue when he was done with it, “you throw it out. I don’t want my cleaning woman thinking I’m masturbating in here.”
Jun finished wiping his mouth, shoving all of the tissue in the pocket of his slacks. Still a bit stunned, he somehow managed to pick up his phone and walk back around Sho’s desk, putting his jacket back on and sitting down in the chair across from him.
Sho buttoned his boxers and zipped up his pants, clearing his throat and meeting Jun’s eyes with a smile. “Now Matsumoto-san,” he said confidently, even though there were beads of perspiration sliding down his face. “Let’s talk Hong Kong.”
-
Jun was halfway to the door when Nino called out to him. “Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Tell him it’s shipping out tomorrow.”
Jun turned, confused. “What’s shipping out tomorrow? Tell who?”
He’d had dinner with Ohno and Nino that evening, or more like they’d ordered in a pizza and sat around lazily watching a baseball game. Ohno came back from the kitchen, an annoyed look on his face. “Why did you say anything?”
“I thought he knew!” Nino shot back, holding up his hands in innocence from his seat on the floor, cushion under his butt.
“What are you idiots talking about?” Jun asked, nervous.
Ohno stood in the doorway, crossing his arms. “Sho-san placed an order with us the other day. Since he used the discount code…”
“Since he used the code, we figured you two ordered together,” Nino said. “And now I get the feeling he didn’t tell you.”
“Sho bought something?”
Nino and Ohno exchanged a knowing look. Jun was across the room in seconds, standing over Nino, deliberately blocking the TV.
“Well, you have to tell me what he ordered.”
Nino smirked at him. “Why?”
“Because you brought it up. Tell me.”
Nino leaned back, palms on the floor. “Don’t you want to be surprised? I mean, I guess we’ve sort of spoiled it for you, but isn’t it better if you don’t know what’s coming?”
Ohno chimed in. “Yeah, I’m sure he had his reasons for ordering what he did.”
Jun turned, staring Ohno down. “What the hell did he buy?”
When Ohno and Nino said nothing, Jun paced their living room floor, nervous. What would Sho buy? Why would he buy it? Jun tried to think. Had he said anything recently? Had he asked for anything specific? He and Sho’s relationship had leveled up again, their texts getting racier and racier, especially when Sho was out of the country, lonely in a hotel somewhere. They’d been together for three months now, three really great months, but neither of them had approached the topic of having sex, well, sex besides oral. Which they engaged in enough that Jun didn’t have any complaints.
Did Sho want to try something new? He was usually pretty upfront about what he wanted, which Jun quite liked about him. Especially when he asked in a really odd way, like sending Jun an email link to some “Rimming 101” tutorial with a hopeful comment asking him “do you want me to do this to you?”
“This is going to drive me crazy now,” Jun complained. He hated surprises.
“It’s something we tried before,” Ohno said, and Nino flung his cushion at him.
“Oi! Don’t tell him anything! He’s much more fun when he’s pissed off!”
Jun rolled his eyes. “I’ve tried everything in your fucking store, so that really narrows it down.”
For all Jun knew, Sho might have just bought some adult videos. Or a prostate massager. Or edible body chocolate. Or the neon pink dishwasher-safe double dildo Nino called “Pinky-san” on their stupid website.
He covered his face with his hands, muffling his whine. “Oh god, Nino, why did you do this to me?”
“Ahhh, this is awesome,” Nino said gleefully, yelping in pain when Jun childishly kicked him in the leg, though not really hard enough to hurt him.
Ohno poked Jun’s cheek when he opened the door to let him out. “I think you’ll have fun with it. Good night.”
-
Sho had Saya-chan that weekend, but the last few times, he’d asked Jun if he wanted to spend time together with the both of them. It had been three months, and since they were going strong, Sho thought it was time to let Jun in on the most important relationship in his life. They had kept it simple so far, Jun coming along when Sho took Saya to McDonald’s one weekend, sitting in the stands with Sho for one of Saya’s soccer “matches” another time.
Jun was re-introduced to Sayaka as her father’s “good friend,” though the little girl had wrapped herself around Sho’s legs, hiding her face before popping her head back out and asking “A friend like Tomo-san?”
“Tomo-san” was what Saya-chan called Satomi’s current boyfriend, and Sho hadn’t known how to respond to his daughter’s question. He’d even panicked adorably, asking Saya-chan to please wait while he phoned her mother right then and there. Jun stood there, a little nervous, as Sho asked if it was okay for Sayaka to think of Jun the same way she thought of “Tomo-san.” He’d watched Sho’s face turn red, watching him bow his head again and again while he was talking as though Satomi was standing right in front of him.
When Sho hung up, he knelt down, looking his daughter straight in the eye. “Yes, Jun-san is a friend like Tomo-san.”
As soon as Saya-chan had confirmation, she offered Jun a smile. “Okay then! Jun-san! Let’s be friends too!”
“Of course,” he’d replied, feeling a strange sort of happiness. Without even meeting her yet, he apparently had Ishihara Satomi’s approval.
That Sunday afternoon he and Sho had taken Saya-chan to a department store that she called “Fun Land,” mainly because there was a little amusement center on the roof. An ice cream stand, a merry-go-round, an arcade, a train ride that went around in a circle. As the girl sat in the rear car of the train ride for the fourth time, waving happily at them each time she came around, Jun stood beside Sho and the other parents outside the white fence surrounding the ride.
Sho had taken at least fifty pictures of her already, the little shutter noise on his phone going off every few seconds. “One day she’s not going to be that easily amused,” Sho fretted. “One day she’s going to start liking boys.”
“Or girls,” Jun replied, elbowing him for being narrow-minded.
“Either way,” Sho grumbled, snapping another photo. “Satomi says there’s a boy in her class who has a kissing problem.”
“A kissing problem?”
“He likes to give the girls kisses. They sent a letter home.”
Jun snorted at that, already fearing what awaited Sayaka’s first date several years from now. Sho was probably going to be the “Scary” papa then.
With Saya around, Jun had been distracted from the knowledge of what Ohno and Nino had shared with him the other night. About Sho’s first order from SK Enterprises. Sho hadn’t said a word about it, hadn’t even implied it. Now he just had to wait for Sho to bring it up, even though Jun was not the world’s most patient person. Sho was in the office for the next three weeks straight without an overseas trip, so that was a long stretch of time they were going to be able to share in each other’s company. But how long before Sho brought up what he’d bought? What if Sho got cold feet and changed his mind before even telling Jun about it? Then he’d never know what it was.
He had no more time to worry about it because the train ride was over, and Saya came running over. “Can we do the no floor now?”
Sho’s face turned ashen. “You really want to do that, huh?”
“Yeah!”
Sho had pretty much pushed his daughter into riding the train over and over again in hopes that she would forget her fervent desire to see the “no floor,” otherwise known as the department store’s new observation deck, which jutted out from the building one floor below the roof, a sturdy glass section of the floor offering a view straight down to the street ten stories below. Sho had been afraid of heights since he was a kid, still was. The last time Satomi had taken Saya to “Fun Land,” she’d also turned the girl down. At this rate, with two cowardly parents, she was never going to experience her precious “no floor.”
“You know, I could take her,” Jun offered, although his heart was pounding as he said it. So far he’d only been around Saya with Sho beside him, and the girl was still shy, aside from wanting to touch his eyebrows, which she thought looked “fuzzy.”
Sho was surprised. “You’d do that?”
“Sure. If she really wants to go.”
Sho crouched down to Sayaka’s level. He did that a lot when he was addressing her properly, which Jun thought was rather cute. “Saya-chan, would you like it if Jun-san took you to the no floor?”
Saya looked up at Jun with a curious look in her face, scrunching up her nose before nodding her head. “That sounds doable!”
Sho laughed. “Where did you learn a phrase like that?”
Saya stared at him and Sho simply nodded, getting to his feet and looking at Jun. “I’ll go sit by one of those tables with the umbrellas,” he said, “you can’t pay me to go down there.”
Jun pulled his phone from his pocket, wiggling it. “I’ll get a picture for you.” He then mimicked Sho’s crouching move, Saya’s round little face giddy with excitement. “Ready?”
“Ready!”
“I’m a little scared about getting lost,” Jun said to her, “so maybe if you hold my hand there and back, it’ll help.”
“You’re a baby!” Saya teased him, and Jun gave her a little glare in return. She laughed, and Jun knew that things were looking up.
Sho waved goodbye as Sayaka placed her tiny hand in Jun’s own and they headed for the elevator. He hadn’t been around kids a lot, but she’d just turned five so at least she was long past the poopy diaper stage. They queued up on the floor below, since they only let a few families and shoppers in at a time. He was a little nervous, walking with her. Sho was a whole floor away, and Jun had never really been responsible for a child before. But thankfully, just like her dad, Sayaka easily kept the conversation moving.
While they waited in the line, she told him about her birthday party a week earlier, bragging about her Olaf cake. She told him that she also liked the movie Brave now because of some princess in it named Merida who had “super huge hair” and could use a bow and arrow. “Papa says I can’t have a bow and arrow until I’m older. Maybe Jun-san can get me one instead.”
He tried not to laugh. “Then your Papa would be mad at me.”
“When Papa is mad, his face does this!” Saya stuck out her tongue and crossed her eyes. Not an entirely accurate assessment, but a pretty funny one.
“Yikes, I don’t want to be around him when he’s mad then, do I?”
“He got mad at me when I did laundry to his tie. I was just helping.”
“You tried to put his tie in the washing machine?”
“No, I washed it in the sink,” Saya replied, looking at Jun like he was a complete idiot. “I used soap too, but he was mad about it.”
“That’s too bad.”
“Mama said I shouldn’t do laundry to Papa’s clothes without asking him first. But anyway at home I get to hand her the clothespins to put things out to dry.” The line started to move a bit, and she tugged him along without hesitation. “It’s important, I get to do important things.”
“Probably because you’re very smart.”
Saya shrugged. “There’s a boy in my class and his name is Hiroshi. He’s smart, he can play chess.”
Somehow their talk circled back to Brave once more, Saya tugging on one of her crooked pigtails and sighing heavily about wanting “super huge hair” like Merida. By the time they were finally at the front of the queue, Jun felt fairly confident that Sakurai Sayaka had allowed him into her secret world.
The store employee ushered them inside. It was smaller than Jun had thought, although the view of the Shinjuku skyscrapers looming above was rather neat. The floor was almost in a checkerboard formation, half of it glass panels looking down and the rest a solid floor covered in the same pale linoleum that covered the pathways of the entire department store.
They were halfway to the windows on the other side when Saya came to an abrupt stop, her small sneakers halting on top of one of the glass panels. For the first time, Jun realized, Saya had looked down. And before he could move her off, she let out a scream. “I don’t like it!”
Shit shit shit, Jun thought. They were going to get kicked out. He could already see a few annoyed faces as Saya shouted again. “I don’t like it! I don’t like it!”
“Saya, Saya,” Jun muttered, dropping to his knees and feeling a burst of pain shoot through him when he landed hard. He placed a hand over her face, covering her eyes. “Saya, close your eyes, it’s okay.”
“I’m gonna fall!” she complained. “I don’t like it!”
Jun looked around, feeling like everyone in the room was staring. With the howling noises she was making, they probably thought Jun was trying to kidnap her or something. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he tried to reassure her, but she was pretty far beyond that.
“I don’t like it! I don’t like it, Jun-san, I don’t like it!”
Before it got any worse, Jun got to his feet and hoisted Saya up, feeling her wrap her arms tightly around his neck. He hurried out of the room with her in his arms, her voice muffled against his neck, repeatedly telling him how much she didn’t like it. By the time Jun had gotten her to the stairwell, managing to open the door with one hand and hold her against him with the other, she’d stopped saying anything and instead had started crying. He could feel wetness against his skin, her tears on his neck. Sho was going to be enraged. He’d fucked this up. He’d really fucked this up.
He ran with her up the stairs, this squirming little girl, holding her tight and whispering that she’d be back with her Papa soon. It wasn’t like Jun was that much of a comfort to her. They made it back to the roof, and despite the dirty look one mother gave him when he came flying around the corner, he got her back where she belonged.
Sho, as promised, was waiting for them at one of the tables, jumping to his feet when he saw Jun come running. Without a word, Jun handed her over, and Sho sat down with her in the chair under the red and white striped umbrella, letting her sit in his lap and wrap her arms around his middle, her head pressed against his chest as she let out her gulping sobs. Sho rocked her a little, hand on her head. “What’s wrong, baby, what’s wrong?”
“I didn’t like it,” she informed him, barely coherent.
“Aww, that’s okay. That’s okay.”
Sho looked up at him, and where Jun expected to see irritation, maybe even anger for returning his child in far worse spirits than when they’d left, he saw Sho grin. It seemed the Sakurai fear of heights had reached a new generation. Jun took a seat across from him at the table, not even realizing how badly his hands were trembling. He crossed his arms, just to keep from shaking.
“You’re okay now. You’re okay. Maybe you can do the no floor another day.”
“No way!” she shouted, and Sho chuckled.
“You probably scared Jun-san half to death,” Sho told her. “But you’re okay, aren’t you?”
“I’m okay,” Saya decided, though she was still clinging to Sho like he might disappear.
Jun could only sit there, worried that he’d ruined the whole day. Once Saya had calmed down, with the special help of an ice cream cone that was almost more sprinkles than ice cream, the three of them rode the merry-go-round, Sho standing beside Saya on her horse that was “like Merida’s horse I think” and Jun on the one beside it. After that, it seemed they’d had enough of Fun Land.
-
Sho already had her backpack and her stuffed Olaf in the car, so they drove straight to the house in Kunitachi. By then Saya was singing along with the radio, her trauma easily forgotten, though Jun was probably going to hear her crying in his sleep for days. And he wasn’t even her father. All he’d known in that moment, picking her up and running, was that he needed to protect her. It wasn’t a feeling he’d experienced before, not like this.
He stayed in the car, unable to move as Sho cheerfully said goodbye for now, bringing Sayaka into the house and shutting the door. Jun took it all in from the driveway, the two-story tan house with lace curtains and a dark red front door Sho was still paying for. The house he’d bought with three bedrooms, anticipating a happy life, two kids someday, maybe a dog since there was a dog park just down the street that they’d driven past.
This was it, Jun realized. He wasn’t cut out for this, was he? He stared out the window at the pavement. Sayaka meant everything to Sho. Everything. If Jun couldn’t even handle her for half an hour, then what did that mean for the future? Their future? Would they always be separate? Would Sho have his life with her and his life with Jun? Was Jun’s existence forcing Sho to split himself, to inconvenience himself?
He jolted when there was a tap on the window, and he turned hurriedly to find a woman standing there in a green blouse and a long black skirt. He blinked a moment, noticing that Sho was nowhere in sight. He opened the car door in confusion. She was beautiful, not some glamorous Kiko-like model, but an old-fashioned kind of beauty. Her identity didn’t entirely surprise him when she leaned an elegant hand against the side of Sho’s car and smiled at him.
“You must be Matsumoto-san. I’m Satomi.” Her voice was light and airy.
He felt a little trapped, with the door cracked open and her mostly blocking him in. He ought to get up, he ought to stand up and greet her properly, but even as he leaned forward he couldn’t go far since he still had his seat belt on. “Hi. Nice to meet you,” he managed to say nervously.
For someone with a five year old, she still looked young and energetic. It was difficult to imagine her as Sho had spoken of her that one night, his young bride, pregnant and alone, probably quite aware that her husband didn’t want her the way she’d probably hoped. “I heard all about Fun Land,” she said in that frothy confection of a voice.
“I’m so, so sorry…”
“What?” she gasped, bringing her hand to her mouth. “What’s wrong?”
“Saya-chan…she was really upset. I’m sorry.”
“Oh, she’s such a crybaby. I’m sure you didn’t do anything wrong, since you brought her home in one piece.” Satomi bowed her head to him in thanks before leaning in closer. “She’s spoiled rotten by you-know-who.”
Satomi yelped when a set of familiar hands clamped down on her shoulders. Then Sho was tugging her away from the car with a silly smile. “Why are you bothering him?” Sho complained.
The top of her head came just about to Sho’s nose, and she looked up at him with a mock-stern expression. “I was going to invite him to dinner, but then you had to come messing around.”
“She’s with the cat. She’s trying to put that collar on her, that jingly one, but Elsa won’t stay still, so that’ll keep her busy for the next three days,” Sho said, apparently to explain why he’d felt fine in leaving their child alone in the house.
“Ah, not the jingly one,” Satomi grumbled, clasping her hands almost in prayer. “Not that thing again.”
“Just wait until she goes to bed. Then grab the cat and take it off again. You can throw things away, you know. I have every confidence in your ability to operate a garbage can.”
Satomi’s jaw dropped. “My mother bought that collar!”
“Your mother’s not the one who has to hear the jingling at 2:00 in the morning.”
“Ahhhh, stop it. Don’t bring logic into this.”
“Someone has to! I got forty or fifty whiny texts from you last time there was a jingly collar problem. Half my phone bill was you complaining about a completely solveable problem.”
Satomi ignored him, looking back at the house. “You shut the door?”
“I shut the door.”
“You lock me out?”
Sho rolled his eyes. “I didn’t lock you out.”
Jun felt a little awkward, stuck in the car with the two of them playfully bickering in front of him. Sho was completely at ease with her, ex-wife or no, and try as he did to ignore it, Jun wanted to shout “I don’t like it” in the style of Sakurai Sayaka. Not because he disliked Satomi (he didn’t), but because in that moment he greatly disliked himself, for not just being awful at looking after Sho’s kid, but for not fully grasping until now that there was this whole other aspect to Sho’s life he hardly got to see. This whole other Sho he never got to see. The house, the beautiful wife, the adorable child. Everything that, on paper, might have been the definition of the perfect life.
“Can I invite him now?”
Sho gestured to the car, a “please go right ahead” gesture, as he left Satomi behind to come around to the driver’s seat.
Jun was finally acknowledged once more, Satomi leaning down, long black hair framing her face. “Sho-kun will find a time that works for both of you. Since he’s home for a while, it would be really nice if you could come by. I’d like to get to know you, if that’s alright. And it’s for Saya, too.”
“Sure,” Jun said, because there was really no reason to say no.
“Then I look forward to next time.” She cheerfully thumped the roof of the car with her fist.
-
When Sho parked the car and made to get out, Jun grabbed hold of his wrist. “I just want to apologize to you. For today.”
Sho looked confused, turning a little in his seat to look at him properly. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” Jun scoffed. “Sho-kun, are you being serious?”
Sho’s eyebrows lifted. “Huh?”
“Basically I’m trying to tell you that if you’d rather I not spend any time with Saya-chan from here on out, I’ll understand.”
“Whoa, what are you talking about?”
“I traumatized her!” Sho laughed, and it just made Jun angry. “This isn’t funny. She was so upset, and it’s my fault. I’m not used to kids, I’m sorry, Sho-kun. I’m really sorry. You trusted me and…”
Sho moved, leaning over to rest his hand soothingly on the back of his neck. “Stop.” He pressed a kiss to Jun’s temple. “Stop, stop.”
Without another word, Sho released him and got out of the car. Jun followed him through the garage, into the elevator. When they got into Sho’s apartment, he was surprised when Sho turned around and hugged him, holding him so tight he could barely breathe. Hugging, it wasn’t exactly something they’d done before, and Jun barely knew how to react. Soon Sho was kissing him, gentle and kind little pecks to his cheek, his lips.
Finally he stepped back, though he didn’t let go. “Jun,” he said with a seriousness to his tone that made Jun pay attention. Mostly because it was the first time Sho had called him by just his first name. “You didn’t do anything wrong with Saya. You didn’t.”
He rolled his eyes, only because he felt like crying and didn’t really feel like doing so in Sho’s genkan. Sho gave him a little shake.
“I do trust you with her. I don’t trust easily, but I trust you. And with the way you keep apologizing, it tells me that you care about her more than you realize. You have no idea how happy that makes me. Being a parent is scary, alright, but there are some days when your kid is going to have a stupid breakdown at a department store and you just have to let her cry it out. You haven’t scarred her for life, it’s fine.”
He still couldn’t meet Sho’s eyes. “I don’t want to screw this up. Being with you means being with her, too.”
“Jun,” he said again, sending a pleasurable shiver down his spine. “I’m just as serious about you. Do you know that?”
He wiped his eyes, shrugging, hearing Sho’s gentle laugh.
“You’re having a bigger tantrum than Saya. It’s not a competition, okay?”
Before Jun could toughen up, offer another flippant response, Sho pushed him until he had his back to the wall. It felt different this time when Sho kissed him. Because Sho had pretty much just told him, without really saying it, that what they had was going to last. Maybe Sho was falling in love with him. If Jun had to be completely honest, he’d been falling in love with Sho since the night he’d had him over to his apartment, that dinner that changed everything. It wasn’t the one-sided, impossible crush of his teen years. This was something more, something that meant more to him with each passing day.
Sho stopped them as soon as Jun reached for his belt. “Wait, hold on.”
“You don’t want to…” Jun flushed a little. “Sorry, I…”
“No, no,” Sho said, looking nervous. His shy little smirk in that moment would have won Jun over in an instant if Sho hadn’t already won him over years and years ago. “I have a confession to make.”
“What?”
“I kind of bought something from Nino’s store.”
Jun perked up considerably. Finally, some answers.
“And since you were staying over tonight, I thought maybe we could…give it a try.”
Jun stroked his fingers up and down Sho’s neck, his earlier frustrations slipping away now that Sho had forgiven and forgotten Jun’s babysitting disaster earlier that day. “Depends on what it is.”
“Come on, I’ll show you.”
Sho’s fingers slipped around his wrist, and he obediently let Sho escort him to his bedroom. It was considerably neater, on account of it being a day for Saya to tidy her room. Sho had no excuse for hypocritical behavior. Sho’s room was about equal in size to Saya’s but obviously with a much bigger bed and a display case on his dresser for the fancy watches he liked to buy himself with his Section Chief salary.
Sho had a box up on a shelf in his closet, out of Saya’s reach if she’d gotten curious and started exploring his room. He pulled it down, and Jun couldn’t help but smile at the familiar looking SK Enterprises packing label he’d seen so many times over the years.
“It’s nothing much,” Sho admitted, “and it’s really up to you.”
“Sho-kun, there’s nothing in that box that will surprise me.”
Sho looked a little jealous in that moment, nodding dismissively. Jun kind of liked when he was jealous. He made the cutest faces. Finally Sho reached inside the box, unearthing something that Jun hadn’t really expected. It was just a bottle of lube.
Sho held it in his hand, looking at him with what seemed like hope in his eyes. “I know, I know. But um, the reason I bought this was because the website said that it was the number one seller for uh…for…”
Jun took the bottle from him, snickering when he remembered the label. “Ah, the number one seller for ‘backdoor action,’ isn’t it?”
Sho turned a bit pink. “That’s what it said, yeah. I figured that was a good sign.”
“I’ve watched Nino write those product pages for years, he can’t shock me any more.” He handed the bottle back. “What would you like to do with it?”
He waited patiently for an answer as Sho considered what to say. Although Jun’s idea of “patience” involved taking off his shirt, Sho’s eyes on his every movement. By the time Jun had moved on to unzipping his jeans, he realized Sho was stalling. Though Sho was eager and a fairly quick study with everything they’d tried together, Jun had a feeling Sho had never done this sort of thing before. He decided to be generous.
“Did you want to fuck me, Sho-kun?”
Sho nearly dropped the bottle, catching it before it fell from his hand. His only reply was a nod, as though confirming it aloud might somehow spoil things. Jun decided to taunt him a little, slowly pulling off his jeans and stepping into Sho’s space in only his underwear, bringing his teeth to Sho’s earlobe and biting down gently. He let out a nervous shudder that encouraged Jun all the more.
“You’re in luck,” he whispered into Sho’s ear. “I’ve wanted you to fuck me for a very long time.”
They took turns showering, if only because they’d never make it out if they went in together. Jun toweled off, rejoining Sho in his room. Sho had spent his time alone getting things ready with all his usual Sakurai Sho thoroughness, Jun spying a box of condoms resting neatly next to the bottle of lube, some tissue, and a damp washcloth on his nightstand. He’d laid a bath towel down on his bed and had stripped off his blankets, leaving only the fitted sheet and two pillows. He found Sho, hair damp from his own shower and slicked back, sitting on the edge of the bed tapping out a nervous rhythm on his thighs.
“I’ve done this before,” Jun said, “and as far as my advice to you goes, just take your time and relax. If you’re relaxed, I’m relaxed and that goes a very long way.”
“Have you…” Sho looked up, a rather sharp edge to his voice. “Have you and Nino ever…?”
“Usually I was the one doing the fucking, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I see.”
Jun reached out, grabbing Sho’s chin. “But with you I’d do just about anything. And I’d let you do just about anything you wanted to me.”
“Is that a fact?” Sho replied. He’d probably been aiming for a sexier tone of voice, but it came out a little high-pitched, awkward. “I’ll remember you said that. I’ll remember it well, because you’ll totally deny it the next time I bring it up.”
“What you need to do is stop sitting there like a lump because if you’re as good as I’m expecting you to be, I’d like to get started.”
Sho needed little further prompting, so Jun went right ahead and loosened the towel he’d tied at his waist, hearing Sho suck in a breath of appreciation when he let it drop to the floor. He pulled Sho back onto the bed with him, thrilled this was finally going to happen. After the day he had, the fear and the anxiety, the thought of Sho inside him was exactly what he needed. He lay on his back, letting Sho curl up at his side, kissing him, encouraging him.
Sho watched with incredible interest as Jun opened the lube bottle, coating his fingers and readying himself, telling Sho to watch. Since things with Ohno and Nino had been perpetually unchanging, his body mostly had to learn all over again. By the time Jun was slowly easing the tip of his finger into himself, he couldn’t help biting down on his lip, sighing. Sho kept watching, absent-mindedly stroking his cock a few times. “Can I…?” Sho eventually asked, and soon Jun was telling Sho what to do, letting Sho learn just how much he liked to be touched this way.
Soon Sho was fucking him with one of his fingers, then two, learning just how to move them and get a positive reaction. Jun had one pillow under him for support and eventually one over his face to muffle his moans, feeling Sho’s fingers withdraw and sink back in a slick and easy rhythm. “Matsujun, just tell me when.”
“When,” Jun was laughing by the time Sho had boldly quickened his pace, the angle just right and sending sparks of pleasurable heat through his whole body. “When when when!”
It took a moment for Sho to roll a condom on, but then he was back. “Facing you?” he asked for confirmation.
“I want you to kiss me, that’s why.” He found Sho’s arm, wrapping his fingers around tight. “We can take our time working toward the day when you can just bend me over a table and fuck me while you’re reading your morning newspaper.”
Sho let out a quiet gasp of protest, leaning forward to shut him up with a hard kiss that left him seeing stars. It took a little maneuvering, a few more directions from him and a few more apologies from Sho, but Jun shut his eyes and moaned when he felt the head of Sho’s cock pushing against him. Despite being so hard and needy, Sho entered him slowly, a few shallow thrusts that made Jun’s fingers curl up against the sheets.
They were so close, closer still as Jun adjusted to the full, perfect feeling of Sho moving inside him. Sho’s breaths were heavy, hot against his neck, Jun feeling each damp press of his lips against his skin. “I’m not hurting you, am I?” Sho murmured, and Jun told him he wasn’t, shutting him up by grabbing him, tugging him by the hair and kissing him.
Once he was more comfortable, he encouraged Sho by squeezing his arms, scratching his nails experimentally down his back, but not enough to hurt. “God, Matsujun,” Sho was moaning, and Jun knew he wasn’t going to last much longer, the sheer thrill of doing this for the first time together bringing him to the edge fast. He decided a little torture was in order, just to add to his own enjoyment.
“Just imagine,” he said as Sho rocked against him, his movements less controlled with each passing second. “Imagine coming into your office one morning and I’m waiting for you like this, waiting for you to fuck me.”
“No, don’t talk, why are you talking?”
He grinned, feeling Sho retaliate with a rather sharp snap of his hips against him that made Jun cry out in shock. He let Sho fuck him a while longer, eyes shut tight and loving it, before he got back to work messing with him. “You’d be wearing…well, you’d be wearing more than I would, hell, you wouldn’t do anything but drop your pants and fuck me without even loosening your tie.”
“Jun, why are you…”
“You’d fuck me so hard, it would knock half the shit off your desk and…”
Sho finally had enough, putting his hand over Jun’s mouth in protest and letting out a cry of pleasure that made Jun want to laugh. He slowed down, moving against Jun a few more times as he rode it out, the look on his face a strange mix of extremely pleased and kind of annoyed. The Sho-kun that Jun was fairly certain he loved.
Sho moved his hand, only to give Jun’s cheek a little smack that he liked way more than he expected. “You’re terrible.”
“Oh, I know,” he admitted, hoping that the happy, sweaty glow he saw in Sho’s face was reflected in his own. “And besides, if anyone ought to be fucked against your desk, it’s you.” He sighed, feeling Sho gently withdraw from him.
Sho was laughing now, rolling onto his back beside him. “I’ve always loved your ambition, Matsujun. Let’s do it. All of it. All the things you want.”
He couldn’t help repeating the words Sho had said earlier. “I’ll remember you said that.”
part five