Cougar Town (2/2)
COUGAR TOWN (2/2)
3003 CE
Omoikane (the fourth planet)
Sumire Temple, Inner Chambers
Omoikane was not a planet for big, bustling cities. It was a planet that offered a sense of escape for the well-to-do. Jun hadn't seen too many cities, though Koyuki-san had ensured that he experience some travel by accompanying her to a few diplomatic functions as one of her attendants. After all, most clients were of wealth and privilege, and it wouldn't do Jun much good to have no experience beyond the planet he'd been born on. He didn't dare come across as someone uneducated, unworldly.
His Coming of Age ceremony was only a month away, a day when everything would change as it had for every Companion in training before him. He wasn't sure what the future held, really. The choices were fairly open - Koyuki-san had already told him he was welcome to remain in the temple complex, seeking out and entertaining clients until he had enough funding to establish himself on a private estate. Or he could see the stars, traveling from planet to planet as he wished, though the lack of stability often was a turn-off for the older, more conservative potential clients.
That long, hot summer found Jun meditating under the stars each night for guidance. The lack of cities on Omoikane left the sky open and limitless, awash with light that offered him calm. Would he always be looking up, cloistered in the hushed chambers of Sumire Temple or some other place just like it? That was how Takki had decided to start building his client base, spending decadent days in luxury while his clients lavished him with gifts. But was it the right future for Jun? Wouldn't it be a better challenge to get away from Omoikane, use everything he'd been taught to draw people in as he so chose?
And what would it be like going through the Coming of Age ceremony? His virginity would be sold to the highest bidder, after all, and after that he was considered an adult, no longer a mere trainee. But he felt that there was still so much to learn, so much that needed to be refined and perfected. He didn't have Koyuki-san's cool grace or Takki's charismatic pull.
He was under the stars that night the same as all the others when his life changed unexpectedly.
It was quiet in the garden save for the odd cricket chirp, and Jun lay on his back in the grass staring up into the endless starry black. The quiet was broken when he heard footsteps on the pebbled path, soon muffled in the grass as someone approached him. It was the dead of night and he should have been in bed, but Koyuki-san had always seemed to know that he enjoyed solitude when he needed it, never punishing him for his nightly wanderings.
Apparently this person knew of it too as they knelt in the grass, silken fabric brushing against his own. "Senpai," came the quiet female voice in the darkness.
He sat up with a sigh. "Satomi-chan."
"Senpai, I..." Her voice was trembling. Satomi was naturally quiet in a way that Jun inherently understood. Her parents, too, had pretty much sold her into service as a Companion. She was a few years younger with enviable porcelain skin and a shy smile. She'd do well as she studied. "Senpai, I need to..."
He settled a hand on her shoulder in the dark. She was maybe fifteen or sixteen, and many of the girls her age liked to seek out those of Jun's status in the night. Perhaps she wanted to be initiated into some of the things she was still only observing during the daytime. But she'd never struck him as someone like the other girls. After all, she was more for hero worship. It was obvious to anyone that she was in love with Takki, foolish a pursuit as that was.
And it was Takki she wished to speak about. The last thing Jun wanted was to advise her on how to pursue someone who was already an adult, someone who had loyal, paying clients. "It's about Takizawa-senpai, I need to speak with him."
"Well, I don't exactly have an in with him myself..."
But to Jun's surprise, the girl started to cry, clinging to him desperately, enough to set off his protective instincts. And of course, setting off other feelings that he tried to hurriedly shove down. Some of the other trainees his age, so close to their Coming of Age liked to fool around with the younger trainees. Jun didn't want to be like them. "Satomi-chan, what's wrong?"
"Takizawa-senpai and I...we..." And that was when she was no longer able to speak and instead she grabbed hold of Jun's hand, pressing it against her clothes over her abdomen.
Jun's heart dropped. Takki, what were you thinking? There was fooling around that most everyone did and then there was having penetrative sex with an underaged trainee. And that was absolutely forbidden. Golden boy Takki should have known that was rule number one. Not only had Satomi surrendered the virginity that she was bound to preserve until her Coming of Age, but she'd gotten pregnant. Both were grounds for immediate dismissal from the temple. Takki too.
"Oh Satomi-chan, why did you do this?"
She buried her face against his robe, tears soaking the costly fabric. "He said he knew how to be perfectly careful, that it was something you learned as a Companion. He said there was no way this would happen. Now I can't even catch his eye. He acts like I was nothing to him."
Jun could feel his fury building. That damned lying playboy. Someone with prestige and popularity like Takki, taking advantage of a young girl who worshiped him. Nobody would believe Satomi's side of things, of that Jun was doubly sure. "What do you want me to do? I can't get through to a guy like him. Look, if you want me to help you get rid of the baby, maybe I can try to get into the infirmary..."
She held onto him tighter. "I can't. I won't do that, Senpai."
He tried to pry her fingers off of him. "You can't keep it!" he hissed at her. "They're going to turn you out as it is. Don't make them turn you away with a child in you!"
"Help me escape, Senpai. Please. If Takki won't speak to me, I don't need to be here. I won't be able to bear the shame of Koyuki-san learning what's happened."
"If you run away they'll suspect as much either way!" The girl wasn't in the right frame of mind. She'd be dismissed no matter what, but surely Koyuki-san would show some sort of mercy if the girl made a conscious effort to not be responsible for a child at so young an age.
"My parents will help. I swear they will. But I can't stay here. They'll make me kill my baby."
Jun was torn. Part of him wanted to get up and bust right into Takki's private chambers and punch him. But he'd never had the confidence or outright stupidity to interfere in the lives of the other Companions and trainees. It went against everything Sumire Temple taught them. The other part wanted to tell Satomi to ask someone else, anyone else but him.
But Jun couldn't imagine what it would feel like to be left out in the cold, Sumire Temple's doors shut forever. Satomi wanted to withdraw on her own terms and without humiliation. If Takki was too self-centered to help her, why couldn't Jun do something about it? He was always out late, and he knew when the various guards and security staff moved around. He could sneak her out one of the rear gates, maybe he could cause a diversion. "Tonight is impossible."
He felt her lips brush against his cheek, and she embraced him. "Oh Matsumoto-senpai..."
"But tomorrow," he said quietly. "You'll meet me here at the same time tomorrow."
--
But to Jun's surprise, it was Takki who met him in the garden the following night, accompanied by half a dozen guards.
"Matsumoto, what are you doing out after hours?" Takizawa asked, meeting Jun's eyes with a look that could only be described in one word: victory.
Jun said nothing. What could he say? He allowed the guards to escort him to Koyuki-san's personal chambers where he was made to wait in the hall while Takki presumably spun lies with his golden tongue. Had Takki made Satomi-chan lie? Had it all been some sort of trap? Was he just being used so Takki could get away with his misdeeds?
Finally he was allowed to enter, and the room was empty save for the Lead Companion herself. The room was lit by the faintest of candlelight, and Koyuki-san said nothing as she poured a cup of tea for him. Jun couldn't help but remember the first time he'd met her, how awestruck he'd been by her beauty, how overwhelming the thought of being accepted by her had been.
But there was no warmth in the Companion's eyes. She sat quietly, almost rigidly while Jun explained his side, about Satomi coming to him in the night and begging for his help, about how Takizawa had overstepped his privileges. Sumire Temple had taught them all to be the most skillful of liars - Koyuki-san would surely be able to know that Takki's story had been false and that Jun was being truthful.
He bowed low when he finished speaking, unable to look into Koyuki-san's face. "I was only trying to assist her. What was done to her is inexcusable and shameful for this temple."
Koyuki-san had always had a reputation for fairness, for being a shrewd judge of character. But at the same time, to be a Companion was to make money based on lies. Lying to someone's face and then lying on your back was their life's work, and a scandal of this type was apparently too much for Sumire Temple to endure.
"You will pack your things. I can offer you transport to any major settlement, but I do not want to see your face on Omoikane again," Koyuki-san said.
Jun looked up in shock. At worst, he expected to be confined to the dorms, removed from classes, his Coming of Age bidding delayed. "Koyuki-san, I will be twenty in a month..."
"Your twentieth birthday is of no interest to me any longer, Matsumoto-san."
He was stunned. Koyuki-san had always addressed him as Jun-kun. How quickly things could change with Takki bringing in so much wealth. "Koyuki-san, please don't do this. Being a Companion...it's all I have. It's all I've worked for! Think of how much has gone into my training. I swear, I'm telling you the truth. Please reconsider."
But her resolve was unshakeable. "You will pack your things," she told him. "I could have you brought up on charges of rape for what you've done to Ishihara-san. If you're smart, you'll accept this and save this temple any further embarrassment."
"I didn't do anything to her!" he shouted, unable to control his temper even with the years of meditation and training he'd endured to keep his emotions in check. Did she really think he'd done this? So close to his Coming of Age? "I swear, I didn't! Please don't turn me away! Please, Koyuki-san! Koyuki-san!"
"Consider your parents, their positions here," she said coldly. "Go quietly, Matsumoto-san."
Koyuki-san never looked at him again, merely clapping her hands. The guards came in, dragging him screaming back to the dorms. "I didn't do anything! It wasn't me!" he shouted until his throat burned with the effort. In one instant, his entire life had changed.
The guards shoved some of his clothing into a bag, and rain had started up outside when they dragged him over the gravel to the temple gate. The rain soaked into his clothes, matting down his hair as he struggled against the guards' grip. "No!" he screamed. "Koyuki-san!"
They threw him out, and the meager belongings they'd given him were tossed unceremoniously into a mud puddle. The Sumire Temple gate closed with a very decisive sound, and he heard the buzzing noise that indicated the magnetic security field had been re-activated.
There was a bright flash, lightning streaking across the Omoikane sky. It revealed another person just outside the Sumire Temple gate - he saw her robe, spattered in mud.
"Satomi-chan," he murmured, hurrying over to her side. They'd both been turned away by Koyuki-san with zero sympathy. If she'd had anything to do with Takki's scheme, the man had turned on her anyway. He shook the poor girl's shoulder. "Satomi-chan, it's Jun..."
The rain continued to pour.
"Satomi-chan...?"
Jun turned the girl over, and when another bolt of lightning struck, it revealed her wide open eyes staring lifelessly upward. With the third flash, he saw the knife in her hand and the wound in her belly. She'd wanted to live. Satomi-chan had wanted to escape, to see her baby born healthy. But whoever found her in the morning would assume she had committed suicide in shame.
His hands were shaking as he tore open the bundle of clothing they'd left to him, draping them over her body. They'd done this to her. Whether it was on Takki's orders or Koyuki-san's, they'd done this to Satomi. To be a Companion was to be a liar. And that was apparently not the worst of it.
In a month he would have been a Companion, fully registered and certified, one of them. Now he was just a 19 year old nobody who didn't know how to do one damned useful thing - he could play shamisen, brew tea, sing, dance, and lie on his back until the person who paid for him came.
He dragged himself to his feet, sobbing hysterically in his confusion and anger. Koyuki-san had threatened his family's livelihood - he couldn't go there, maybe never again. What was he going to do? What the hell was he going to do?
--
3009 CE
Omoikane (the fourth planet)
Himawari Temple
He saw himself in so many of the trainees. They wanted to learn everything. They wanted to turn twenty and become the perfect Companion. Jun didn't have the heart to tell them that being a Companion was largely a profession you learned on the job. And it wasn't always glamorous or ideal or perfect. It was a job, just like any other with its positives and negatives.
But Himawari Temple was unlike most other temples, and the enthusiasm of the trainees seemed to be somewhat tempered by the pragmatism of their Lead Companion. He observed a few classes that morning, correcting some of the younger trainees on their sewing. A Companion's clothes never came cheap, and being able to stitch up and hide imperfections saved money and allowed a wardrobe to last longer. Many a Companion had gone broke by replacing every single item that a rough client had torn.
Himawari had an openness, a freedom that few temples had. The corridors were not hidden in shadow but lit by the natural light of the two suns. "There is no need to hide what we do," Ryoko had always told him, "there's nothing shameful about pleasure."
Jun tried to imagine himself helping the trainees every day, guiding them through activities both practical and carnal. He'd never really thought of being any kind of instructor. He didn't think he had the right background or patience, and yet Ryoko had called him here to at least consider it. But staying at Himawari would mean leaving Arashi. And knowing Sho and his tendency to work on the outer planets, it was highly unlikely they'd cross paths ever again. The world of the temple and the world of Arashi rarely intersected.
With each student he helped to instruct in music class, he thought about one of Arashi's stupid jobs. Of the struggling villages where Sho decided they'd stop for two weeks and help build schools. Of the sterile space stations Arashi hopped back and forth from, ferrying supplies for anyone who'd pay. With each awestruck face that was impressed that he'd been Ryoko's lover and friend for years, he thought of Arashi's crew. The bizarre things that Aiba would say, Becky's cheerful enthusiasm, Meisa's calm and practical kindness, Nino's humor. And Sho...Ryoko had tried to get Jun to come to terms with what he thought about Sho.
Sho frustrated him. Sho infuriated him. But sometimes Sho would do something that Jun couldn't help but admire. They'd take a job on a backwater planet - but then Sho would somehow get the crew tangled in something else. They'd save a woman in trouble, a kidnapped child. It wouldn't just be about the work any longer. Sho would want to make a difference. Whether interfering was right or not, Sho would bullheadedly charge in. All this time Jun had judged him for it. Sho liked to play hero, but why was that such a bad thing?
He spent the next few days confused. Every time he thought about permanence on Omoikane, he thought of Arashi. When Nino sent a message from Arashi one evening while he and Ryoko ate dinner, letting her know the auction had been a success and they were returning with her money, Jun couldn't help but listen in, hearing the pilot's voice and missing them all. When Ryoko looked over at him when the message had finished playing, she already seemed to know what his decision was.
The following night Arashi would be returning to Omoikane, and he had until then to make his final decision. The shamisen class he'd been observing was dismissed early, and Jun decided that he'd make the last night a special one for Ryoko. She'd turned him down every night since he'd arrived, citing her injury or some other excuse. Jun had obeyed her wishes, even as they confused him. Maybe she didn't want to remind him of one major perk accepting her offer would bring - her company, night after night, something he definitely wouldn't dislike.
It had been a while since he'd been with a client who knew him so well. And it had been a while since he'd been with a client where the transaction wasn't one-sided. He headed for his guest room, changing into a yukata she'd bought for him years earlier. Perhaps the memory of the gift would change her mind, and they could part on pleasant terms the coming day.
As soon as he was ready, he decided to sneak in through the rear passage to her own chambers, one that only Ryoko's closest attendants knew about. He felt a bit childish sneaking about, but he'd win her over. Ryoko always liked surprises. He reached her room, and was just about to slide open the panel that he knew was obscured behind a folding screen when he heard Ryoko's voice inside.
"...the last time, I refuse," she was saying, and Jun strained to listen.
"But Yonekura-san, there may still be a chance..." came a man's voice, but Ryoko interrupted him straight away.
"Sensei, it's too late. We looked at the charts together. It's spread, you told me it's spread too far..."
"Our clinic has the most advanced and modern..."
"Sensei," Ryoko repeated. "I've come to terms with it, and I wish you would do the same. My place is here at Himawari Temple."
There was a pause, and finally Ryoko's doctor spoke again. "Very well. I won't force treatment on an unwilling patient..."
"Sensei, there's treatment and then there are lost causes," Ryoko said. "You told me I had time to settle my affairs. I'm settling them, on my own terms. There's nothing more to be done."
That was all Jun could bear to overhear, and he turned around in the hidden corridor, shuffling his way back to his guest chambers, his breaths coming in gasps by the time he got back. He collapsed to his knees in shock, the sash of his yukata loosening, showing him the sunflower pattern on it. He'd complained to Ryoko about how feminine it looked, but she'd bought it for him just the same.
A sprain, Ryoko had told him. She'd only sprained her leg. But that and her other excuses were just a web of deception. Ryoko, who had always been so honest with him, so truthful. She was ill. She was more than ill, Jun told himself. She was dying. The signs had been there - the way she had sat through all her meals, the tired look in her eyes. Even Sho had said she'd looked tired. She'd hired Arashi to sell furniture for her - was Ryoko selling her valuables to ensure the upkeep of Himawari Temple after her passing?
And the request she'd made of him, asking for his help. She'd asked him to teach at her side, but that hadn't been the full truth of it. She wanted to groom him as a successor. She wanted to entrust him with Himawari Temple when she was dead and gone.
It was some time before he could fully collect himself, leave his guest room behind and join Ryoko for dinner. He said nothing of what he'd overheard, taking the time to simply watch her. The beautiful smile, the near perfection of her, save for whatever was inside her, killing her. Something they had apparently not caught in time. Why had he stayed away so long? Why hadn't he visited her more?
When the meal was over, he got to his feet first as he had every night. He realized that she'd been seated the entire week whenever he was in her presence. She hadn't gotten up, had refused to show him any weakness. She didn't want him to know.
He knelt down before her, taking her hand in his own and brushing his lips to her knuckles. "You were awfully quiet this evening, love," she told him, and there was the same spark in her eyes that she always had. How could she be dying? How could a force of nature like Ryoko be dying?
"I have a lot on my mind," he said truthfully.
She smiled, stroking his cheek. "So you're holding your tongue until your Captain Sakurai returns? Ratcheting up the tension, hmm?"
He smiled, wondering if she could tell it was forced. "I like to keep everyone in suspense."
"No matter what your answer is, I just want you to be happy. Always."
He turned her hand over, kissing her palm. "I know."
--
3004 CE
Izanagi (moon of Hachiman, the second planet)
Arcadia Spaceport
He wiped his mouth with a snorting laugh, stumbling out of the bathroom stall with some toilet paper clinging to his shoe and the taste of the businessman's release lingering on his tongue. The man shuffled out without looking back, opening the bathroom door and returning to the thudding bass of the club. Jun didn't mind, he wasn't looking to cuddle after. His pocket full of money, he'd be able to get whatever the fuck he wanted.
He left the bathroom himself, the light show within the club and the music making his euphoric feelings reach even greater heights. He couldn't even count the number of guys he'd blown that night on one hand any longer, and now he'd be able to buy more of the good stuff. The stuff the asshole dealers didn't lace with garbage. Whatever he'd had earlier would probably wear off soon.
The night was hot and muggy, but not as bad as the press of bodies in the club when he got outside, crawling along the brick wall to stay upright. Okay, maybe he'd just have to find a place to crash for now. This side of the moon was dark longer, so he could get things started again in a few hours. His jaw would be sore later, but for now things were doing alright.
He found his way around the corner, past the other drunks and pleasure seekers. Arcadia had been a shock at first, but it was old hat now. Nobody wanted any fucking tea or a shamisen performance, but he'd adapted just fine. Didn't understand why Koyuki-san had made them wait so damned long, making them watch and watch and watch when all you had to do was hit the right spots. If Jun had to be honest, it was better to be the one doing the fucking, but it didn't much matter if he'd taken enough tabs to relax. People coming to Izanagi were just looking for a good time, and so was Jun. And his prices were lower than the registered types from his old life who waited hand and foot on the rich folks in the high-rises.
The world was spinning when he found the metro stop, one of the high-speed lines that connected the whole moon with all that Hachiman fucking precision. There was a corner the cameras didn't reach, and he'd managed to get a grate open the night before, sleeping off the alcohol and the tabs until it was time to start again. He giggled, voice echoing off the tiled walls. He stunk, really stunk. Like cigarettes and cheap beer and half a dozen people wanting a quickie in the toilets. But he didn't smell like fucking incense, and that was fine by him.
He tugged at the grate. They'd screwed it back in place, and he yanked on it, trying to jiggle it loose. The warm air from underground usually wafted up, kept him cozy inside the tight little vent. He was going to pass out standing up before long, but his pockets were full of his hard-earned cash, and the creeps came out once the metro stopped running. He needed to get inside.
"Fucking piece of shit," he complained, throwing a lame punch at the grate and only hurting his hand. "Fuck you!" he said, kicking the damn thing.
"Need somewhere to sleep, love?"
He turned around, squinting in the greenish glow of the metro's overhead lighting. This wasn't some pleasure seeker, no vacationing rich bastard. It was a woman, a gorgeous woman. Maybe the most gorgeous he'd ever seen. Or maybe it was the tab still burning through his bloodstream, turning the world into a rainbow every other time he blinked.
"...lady shouldn't be down here," he accused her, wagging his finger at her. She was pretty tall for a woman and older than him, with a bobbed hairstyle and legs that went on for miles. "Some creepy folks around this late."
She smiled at him, seemingly unaffected. "I know self-defense."
He nodded. "Good. Good. Some...undesirables...you know," he slurred. "Around here."
She approached him, not even wrinkling her nose at the stink of him. She went right up and touched him, fingering his gelled up rat's nest of hair that kept the uptight businessmen lining up. They liked bad boys. The woman tugged on the streaks of blond he'd added a few nights back when he'd hooked up with a hairdresser at a salon after hours.
"You think you're hot stuff, don't you?" she asked him.
He batted her hand away lightly. He didn't hit women unless they specifically requested he do so. "Gonna cost you to touch."
"Sweetie, how old are you?"
"Why? You into cradle robbing?"
She licked her lips, looking him up and down. "How old?"
"Mmm," he said, looking her up and down in return. He decided to be honest - he was too tired to lie, even with all he'd learned and tried to forget. "Twenty. But it'll be my birthday soon. Maybe you can buy me a cake, nee-san."
She linked arms with him, and Jun had a moment's regret at the thought of his smell rubbing off on her fancy clothes. "Come with me, I like you."
Well, anything beat sleeping inside a vent at the metro stop, and he went with her, taking an aircab to one of the hotels near the port. He fell asleep along the way, and she had to nearly drag him inside. "Just let me shower," he mumbled when she swiped the keycard at the door. "Just need to wake up. I won't let you down, nee-san."
He didn't remember much after that, but when he woke up he found himself in the bathtub of her hotel room, cuffed to the handrail bolted to the tub wall, and he struggled against it. "Hey! Hey, let me go!"
She entered the room, out of her "fuck me" dress and pumps from earlier and into a silk kimono. He had a flash of Koyuki-san, but this woman's face was gentler, kinder. "Good morning, love."
"Fuck you," he spat, and she moved over to turn on the shower sprayer, and suddenly he was being drenched with cold water. "What is wrong with you?"
The woman smiled down at him. "I like the blond bit, I think it's cute, Jun-kun."
"Turn the fucking water off."
She smirked. "Watch your language and I will."
He only whimpered at her, trying to curl up in his soaking wet clothes. He needed more, he needed more tabs, and he knew all the cash in his pocket was getting wet now.
"Well?"
"Please turn it off," he begged her, shivering. She did so, moving to put down the toilet seat lid and sitting down to stare at him. "How do you know my name?"
"A year ago I was going to buy you. You were adorable," she said. "I'm a sucker for a pretty face."
He kept shivering. His Coming of Age ceremony. This woman had wanted to bid on his virginity. Too bad he'd given it away without much fuss. "You," he said, teeth chattering, struggling against the cuffs she'd put on him. "You recognized me from...from that?"
"Sumire Temple made you sound so promising and then poof, you vanished." She leaned forward, elbows on her knees. "But I found you. A little rough around the edges, but I found you."
He scowled at her. "What's with the cuffs? If you wanted to fuck..." She raised an eyebrow. "If you just wanted to be with me, you didn't have to tie me up."
"You're going to be my special project," she explained to him, smiling again.
She introduced herself as Yonekura Ryoko, and, to Jun's surprise, she also happened to be the Lead Companion of Himawari Temple on Omoikane. A temple Koyuki-san had always dismissed for their lax training and flippant attitudes toward Companion tradition. All stuff that Jun had struggled to forget. But she wanted to help him, retrain him, get him officially registered through Himawari. She wanted to give him the life he'd worked so hard for. But the temple had turned its back on him. Why the fuck would he want to go back?
"I'm a firm believer in second chances," she said quietly, moving to sit down just next to the tub and grabbing hold of his free hand.
"Why me? You don't even know me."
"Because I understand temple politics, and what happened to you wasn't right." She turned his hand over and kissed his palm. Tenderly, gently. With genuine affection. It was the greatest kindness he'd ever received, and he felt tears well up in his eyes. "I knew you, Jun. I don't bid on just anyone, and I really wanted you. I know the types that come out of Sumire. You didn't seem to fit."
He couldn't keep from crying now. "I wanted to. I tried. I really tried." It was embarrassing now, but the tears kept falling. "I wanted to be perfect."
"I've got you, love. I'm here," she said, stroking his damp hair. "Let me tell you one thing: I don't want you to be perfect. This job isn't about perfection, no matter what they told you. This job is about happiness, and you can't bring happiness to others if you aren't feeling that way yourself."
He broke down, sobbing like a pathetic mess. "I'm not good enough!"
"But you are! Oh, honey, you are!" She got into the bathtub, not caring about her clothes to straddle him, wrapping her arms around him and letting him cry. "Jun-kun, I just want you to be happy. Always."
--
3009 CE
Omoikane (the fourth planet)
Himawari Temple
Jun waited until Arashi docked, and Sho came to meet with Ryoko. The rest of the crew followed at Jun's request, and they all stood around in some confusion within Ryoko's chambers.
Once Sho's business was complete, he turned to leave, and that was when Jun finally spoke up. "Yonekura-san has asked me to remain here on Omoikane as an assistant at the temple."
Everyone seemed to be staring at him, some faces confused, others crestfallen. Sho's face seemed to be an odd mixture of both. Ryoko herself betrayed no inkling of what she was feeling, watching the proceedings from her chaise - she looked relaxed, but Jun knew that she was in pain. She had to have been in pain all this time.
"And I have decided," he said, meeting almost everyone's eyes save for Sho's. "I have decided to accept."
"What?" Becky cried, "but you can't leave!"
Aiba gave him a shove. "You're one of us! We don't want you to go!"
He could see Meisa and Nino stand close together, murmuring in their confusion over the sudden decision and Becky and Aiba in turn tried to talk over one another, begging him not to leave. Finally, Sho cleared his throat.
He looked rather shocked, but he met Jun's eyes calmly. "Congratulations then," the captain said quietly. "On your new position."
Jun couldn't help inclining his head. "Thank you," he managed to mumble even as the thought of Sho's eyes on him burned through him.
Ryoko went on to apologize for "stealing Jun away," inviting Captain Sakurai and the crew to be her guests for the next few days so that Jun's belongings could be relocated from the shuttle aboard Arashi into his rooms in Ryoko's house. Sho agreed with complete kindness, saying how happy he would be to ensure a smooth transition and how grateful they were for her generous offer of hospitality.
With Becky and Aiba dogging him, Jun snuck away to find some of Ryoko's assistants to help plan the move.
--
Ryoko held one final banquet for the crew of Arashi, a rather fancy affair that seemed to perk up the crew's spirits even if they'd be departing come morning with one less person aboard. Jun had buried himself in work, letting Sho and Ryoko's assistants move his things while Ryoko took him through the account ledgers, the temple management, all the things he'd now be responsible for. He still hadn't pressed her about her illness - if she wanted him to know, she'd tell him on her own terms.
The Arashi crew were largely drunk on plum wine, attended on by trainees who wished to practice their conversation skills. Aiba was nearly passed out on Ryoko's dining room floor, surrounded by a gaggle of pretty girls who wanted to get better at massage. Jun rolled his eyes at Aiba's joy, knowing deep down that he'd miss him. Becky had fallen under the charming spells of some of the temple's live-in Companions, a pair of twins with red hair and enough muscles to impress the small but strong little mechanic. Nino and Meisa had accepted Ryoko's offer of a luxurious private room for the night, an obvious step up from Arashi's crew quarters.
But Jun hadn't seen Sho in a while. He recalled that the captain had excused himself to use the washroom, but hadn't come back. He got to his feet, catching Ryoko's eyes from across the dining room. She nodded in acknowledgment. He asked one of the attendants outside the room where Captain Sakurai had gone, and somehow, Jun wasn't surprised to learn that Sho had gone back to his ship.
Docked as it was in the safety of the temple courtyard, the cargo bay door was down and Jun boarded, heading through the hold and up the stairs. He found Sho up front on the bridge, sitting back in Nino's seat with his legs up on the console and an empty bottle of plum wine from Ryoko's house on the floor. He walked over quietly, seeing that Sho was asleep.
Tomorrow Arashi would leave, and he'd probably never see the ship again unless Ryoko came up with another simple job for them to do. Sho snored like a foghorn, and Jun couldn't help but smile, looking down at him in the pilot's seat. Sho was uptight while awake and honest while asleep. The ship was powered down save for the dim glow of the emergency lights on the floor. Starlight shone through the glass, and Jun enjoyed the way Sho's hair fell a bit across his eyes.
He couldn't help brushing his fingers against it, moving it aside. "Goodbye, Captain," he whispered before walking back out of the cockpit.
He was all the way to the kitchen when he heard the bottle tip over up on the bridge and the awkward shuffling run. Sho stumbled into the kitchen, colliding with the dining table hard enough to knock over the small vase of flowers Becky had put there, spilling water all over.
Sho gripped the table, meeting Jun's gaze. He almost wished that Sho had stayed asleep. But another part of him wished the opposite. Sho's eyes were tired, and he was a little puffy from drinking. "I'm sorry if I woke you," Jun said quietly.
Sho was drunk, still wobbling. "Told me...told me before you didn't like people locking...locking you up," he accused him.
Jun looked away. "You're drunk, Sho. Go to bed." This wasn't how he wanted to leave. This wasn't the way he wanted it to end.
Sho thumped his fist on the table, and it looked like it hurt. "So why now?"
He didn't owe Sho any answers, not really. It was the terms of their agreement, wasn't it? That Jun could leave at any time? "She asked for my help. I can make a difference here."
"Difference with what?" Sho was slurring. "No shortage of people for her to fuck around here already."
He saw red, and then he was launching himself at Sho, shoving him back until the captain stumbled, falling to the ground and landing on his ass. And Jun followed him, landing on top of him and yanking the fabric of his t-shirt between his fists. "Fuck you. Don't you ever fucking talk about her that way!"
Sho's eyes were glassy. "Not...not Companion-like...way you're talking, Matsumoto."
"You don't know a god damned thing about me!" He wrenched Sho up, slamming him back down against the floor, letting out his frustrations until Sho was groaning in pain. His frustrations about Arashi, about Ryoko's condition and refusal to tell him the truth, his frustrations about Sho. Jun finally seemed to realize how crazy he was acting, letting Sho go and moving off of him, sliding away until his back hit the bulkhead.
What the hell was he doing? Three years. He'd nearly been on board Arashi for three years, and he'd kept his emotions in check. He looked over, saw Sho struggling to sit up.
"Sho, I'm sorry," Jun muttered, nearly out of breath from his immature display. "I'm sorry."
The captain was leaning against the bench to stay upright. "...didn't mean it. I like her."
A few seconds passed, Sho looking ready to topple over at any moment, Jun feeling like a complete ass. He wasn't angry at Sho, not really. Sho said things like that all the time, and he'd been able to ignore it or chalk it up to Sho just wanting to be difficult.
He could tell Sho. He could tell him about Ryoko's illness, about the real reason he'd decided to stay on Omoikane. But the words wouldn't come. All he could see was Sho with his messy hair in his face, drunk and miserable. Was he just as sad about Jun leaving as Jun himself felt?
Jun got to his feet, walking over to hold out his hand for Sho to take. "I'm sorry."
But when he pulled Sho up, the captain held on to him, his unfocused eyes trying to meet Jun's. "Don't go."
"You're drunk," was all that Jun could say. His heart was racing at Sho's admission, but it wasn't real, Jun told himself. Sho was drunk. It wasn't really him talking.
"Don't go," Sho repeated, and Jun held onto him tighter. "Jun...don't go."
"You're tired," Jun said. "You're tired, and you're drunk." And a noble idiot. And frustrating. And near impossible to communicate with. And in that moment, everything he wanted.
"Don't..." Sho's voice seemed to catch in his throat, and Jun leaned forward to kiss Sho for the first and probably last time, tasting the plum wine on his lips. The same lips that said such stupid, irritating things. But now that he'd given in, he didn't want to stop. He's drunk, he's drunk, he's drunk, Jun tried to tell himself. In the morning he won't remember...
It wasn't like being with a client. It wasn't even like being with Ryoko. He wanted it more, needed it more. He was running on instinct, not on his training. With a client, Jun had every second mapped out - with Sho, he was free falling. Everything he'd been taught seemed not to matter because Sho was kissing him back, opening his mouth so Jun could explore further.
He let Sho awkwardly turn them until Jun was leaning back against the table, hearing it scrape against the floor as the water from the overturned vase soaked into his yukata. Companions couldn't fall in love. Love wasn't real.
"Don't go," Sho was begging him in his drunken haze, his soft lips moving against Jun's own. "Jun...."
He had to go. He'd made a promise to Ryoko. He'd already gone way too far, been way too selfish. "I'm sorry," he said suddenly, breaking them apart when Sho's fingers started tugging at the sash of his yukata. "I'm so sorry."
Jun left Sho wobbling on his feet, hurrying out of the kitchen and down the stairs into the hold in a daze, barely registering his steps on the temple grounds as he headed for his new rooms. All of his things were there, everything that had been in the shuttle, everything Sho had helped move out. He looked around at the new life he'd willingly chosen for himself, his fingers pressed to his swollen lips as the sounds of Ryoko's party for Arashi's crew continued into the night unhindered.
He slid open the door that led out from his room to Ryoko's private gardens, seeing the stars overhead. From now on, he could only look up.
--
The next morning Ryoko summoned for him, and when he arrived in her room, she asked him to escort her into the courtyard. For the first time, she stood up, wincing in obvious pain. Jun held out his arm for her, saying nothing as he led her slowly outside. Perhaps she'd tell him the truth earlier than she'd planned.
He could hear Arashi's engines gearing up for departure, could already see her lifting off. They stood together in the gravel as the ship took to the bright blue skies, headed for the black far above them.
"It's a wonderful ship," she said, holding on to him tightly.
"It is."
Ryoko, who'd always helped him, cared for him - now it was his turn to support her.
3003 CE
Omoikane (the fourth planet)
Sumire Temple, Inner Chambers
Omoikane was not a planet for big, bustling cities. It was a planet that offered a sense of escape for the well-to-do. Jun hadn't seen too many cities, though Koyuki-san had ensured that he experience some travel by accompanying her to a few diplomatic functions as one of her attendants. After all, most clients were of wealth and privilege, and it wouldn't do Jun much good to have no experience beyond the planet he'd been born on. He didn't dare come across as someone uneducated, unworldly.
His Coming of Age ceremony was only a month away, a day when everything would change as it had for every Companion in training before him. He wasn't sure what the future held, really. The choices were fairly open - Koyuki-san had already told him he was welcome to remain in the temple complex, seeking out and entertaining clients until he had enough funding to establish himself on a private estate. Or he could see the stars, traveling from planet to planet as he wished, though the lack of stability often was a turn-off for the older, more conservative potential clients.
That long, hot summer found Jun meditating under the stars each night for guidance. The lack of cities on Omoikane left the sky open and limitless, awash with light that offered him calm. Would he always be looking up, cloistered in the hushed chambers of Sumire Temple or some other place just like it? That was how Takki had decided to start building his client base, spending decadent days in luxury while his clients lavished him with gifts. But was it the right future for Jun? Wouldn't it be a better challenge to get away from Omoikane, use everything he'd been taught to draw people in as he so chose?
And what would it be like going through the Coming of Age ceremony? His virginity would be sold to the highest bidder, after all, and after that he was considered an adult, no longer a mere trainee. But he felt that there was still so much to learn, so much that needed to be refined and perfected. He didn't have Koyuki-san's cool grace or Takki's charismatic pull.
He was under the stars that night the same as all the others when his life changed unexpectedly.
It was quiet in the garden save for the odd cricket chirp, and Jun lay on his back in the grass staring up into the endless starry black. The quiet was broken when he heard footsteps on the pebbled path, soon muffled in the grass as someone approached him. It was the dead of night and he should have been in bed, but Koyuki-san had always seemed to know that he enjoyed solitude when he needed it, never punishing him for his nightly wanderings.
Apparently this person knew of it too as they knelt in the grass, silken fabric brushing against his own. "Senpai," came the quiet female voice in the darkness.
He sat up with a sigh. "Satomi-chan."
"Senpai, I..." Her voice was trembling. Satomi was naturally quiet in a way that Jun inherently understood. Her parents, too, had pretty much sold her into service as a Companion. She was a few years younger with enviable porcelain skin and a shy smile. She'd do well as she studied. "Senpai, I need to..."
He settled a hand on her shoulder in the dark. She was maybe fifteen or sixteen, and many of the girls her age liked to seek out those of Jun's status in the night. Perhaps she wanted to be initiated into some of the things she was still only observing during the daytime. But she'd never struck him as someone like the other girls. After all, she was more for hero worship. It was obvious to anyone that she was in love with Takki, foolish a pursuit as that was.
And it was Takki she wished to speak about. The last thing Jun wanted was to advise her on how to pursue someone who was already an adult, someone who had loyal, paying clients. "It's about Takizawa-senpai, I need to speak with him."
"Well, I don't exactly have an in with him myself..."
But to Jun's surprise, the girl started to cry, clinging to him desperately, enough to set off his protective instincts. And of course, setting off other feelings that he tried to hurriedly shove down. Some of the other trainees his age, so close to their Coming of Age liked to fool around with the younger trainees. Jun didn't want to be like them. "Satomi-chan, what's wrong?"
"Takizawa-senpai and I...we..." And that was when she was no longer able to speak and instead she grabbed hold of Jun's hand, pressing it against her clothes over her abdomen.
Jun's heart dropped. Takki, what were you thinking? There was fooling around that most everyone did and then there was having penetrative sex with an underaged trainee. And that was absolutely forbidden. Golden boy Takki should have known that was rule number one. Not only had Satomi surrendered the virginity that she was bound to preserve until her Coming of Age, but she'd gotten pregnant. Both were grounds for immediate dismissal from the temple. Takki too.
"Oh Satomi-chan, why did you do this?"
She buried her face against his robe, tears soaking the costly fabric. "He said he knew how to be perfectly careful, that it was something you learned as a Companion. He said there was no way this would happen. Now I can't even catch his eye. He acts like I was nothing to him."
Jun could feel his fury building. That damned lying playboy. Someone with prestige and popularity like Takki, taking advantage of a young girl who worshiped him. Nobody would believe Satomi's side of things, of that Jun was doubly sure. "What do you want me to do? I can't get through to a guy like him. Look, if you want me to help you get rid of the baby, maybe I can try to get into the infirmary..."
She held onto him tighter. "I can't. I won't do that, Senpai."
He tried to pry her fingers off of him. "You can't keep it!" he hissed at her. "They're going to turn you out as it is. Don't make them turn you away with a child in you!"
"Help me escape, Senpai. Please. If Takki won't speak to me, I don't need to be here. I won't be able to bear the shame of Koyuki-san learning what's happened."
"If you run away they'll suspect as much either way!" The girl wasn't in the right frame of mind. She'd be dismissed no matter what, but surely Koyuki-san would show some sort of mercy if the girl made a conscious effort to not be responsible for a child at so young an age.
"My parents will help. I swear they will. But I can't stay here. They'll make me kill my baby."
Jun was torn. Part of him wanted to get up and bust right into Takki's private chambers and punch him. But he'd never had the confidence or outright stupidity to interfere in the lives of the other Companions and trainees. It went against everything Sumire Temple taught them. The other part wanted to tell Satomi to ask someone else, anyone else but him.
But Jun couldn't imagine what it would feel like to be left out in the cold, Sumire Temple's doors shut forever. Satomi wanted to withdraw on her own terms and without humiliation. If Takki was too self-centered to help her, why couldn't Jun do something about it? He was always out late, and he knew when the various guards and security staff moved around. He could sneak her out one of the rear gates, maybe he could cause a diversion. "Tonight is impossible."
He felt her lips brush against his cheek, and she embraced him. "Oh Matsumoto-senpai..."
"But tomorrow," he said quietly. "You'll meet me here at the same time tomorrow."
--
But to Jun's surprise, it was Takki who met him in the garden the following night, accompanied by half a dozen guards.
"Matsumoto, what are you doing out after hours?" Takizawa asked, meeting Jun's eyes with a look that could only be described in one word: victory.
Jun said nothing. What could he say? He allowed the guards to escort him to Koyuki-san's personal chambers where he was made to wait in the hall while Takki presumably spun lies with his golden tongue. Had Takki made Satomi-chan lie? Had it all been some sort of trap? Was he just being used so Takki could get away with his misdeeds?
Finally he was allowed to enter, and the room was empty save for the Lead Companion herself. The room was lit by the faintest of candlelight, and Koyuki-san said nothing as she poured a cup of tea for him. Jun couldn't help but remember the first time he'd met her, how awestruck he'd been by her beauty, how overwhelming the thought of being accepted by her had been.
But there was no warmth in the Companion's eyes. She sat quietly, almost rigidly while Jun explained his side, about Satomi coming to him in the night and begging for his help, about how Takizawa had overstepped his privileges. Sumire Temple had taught them all to be the most skillful of liars - Koyuki-san would surely be able to know that Takki's story had been false and that Jun was being truthful.
He bowed low when he finished speaking, unable to look into Koyuki-san's face. "I was only trying to assist her. What was done to her is inexcusable and shameful for this temple."
Koyuki-san had always had a reputation for fairness, for being a shrewd judge of character. But at the same time, to be a Companion was to make money based on lies. Lying to someone's face and then lying on your back was their life's work, and a scandal of this type was apparently too much for Sumire Temple to endure.
"You will pack your things. I can offer you transport to any major settlement, but I do not want to see your face on Omoikane again," Koyuki-san said.
Jun looked up in shock. At worst, he expected to be confined to the dorms, removed from classes, his Coming of Age bidding delayed. "Koyuki-san, I will be twenty in a month..."
"Your twentieth birthday is of no interest to me any longer, Matsumoto-san."
He was stunned. Koyuki-san had always addressed him as Jun-kun. How quickly things could change with Takki bringing in so much wealth. "Koyuki-san, please don't do this. Being a Companion...it's all I have. It's all I've worked for! Think of how much has gone into my training. I swear, I'm telling you the truth. Please reconsider."
But her resolve was unshakeable. "You will pack your things," she told him. "I could have you brought up on charges of rape for what you've done to Ishihara-san. If you're smart, you'll accept this and save this temple any further embarrassment."
"I didn't do anything to her!" he shouted, unable to control his temper even with the years of meditation and training he'd endured to keep his emotions in check. Did she really think he'd done this? So close to his Coming of Age? "I swear, I didn't! Please don't turn me away! Please, Koyuki-san! Koyuki-san!"
"Consider your parents, their positions here," she said coldly. "Go quietly, Matsumoto-san."
Koyuki-san never looked at him again, merely clapping her hands. The guards came in, dragging him screaming back to the dorms. "I didn't do anything! It wasn't me!" he shouted until his throat burned with the effort. In one instant, his entire life had changed.
The guards shoved some of his clothing into a bag, and rain had started up outside when they dragged him over the gravel to the temple gate. The rain soaked into his clothes, matting down his hair as he struggled against the guards' grip. "No!" he screamed. "Koyuki-san!"
They threw him out, and the meager belongings they'd given him were tossed unceremoniously into a mud puddle. The Sumire Temple gate closed with a very decisive sound, and he heard the buzzing noise that indicated the magnetic security field had been re-activated.
There was a bright flash, lightning streaking across the Omoikane sky. It revealed another person just outside the Sumire Temple gate - he saw her robe, spattered in mud.
"Satomi-chan," he murmured, hurrying over to her side. They'd both been turned away by Koyuki-san with zero sympathy. If she'd had anything to do with Takki's scheme, the man had turned on her anyway. He shook the poor girl's shoulder. "Satomi-chan, it's Jun..."
The rain continued to pour.
"Satomi-chan...?"
Jun turned the girl over, and when another bolt of lightning struck, it revealed her wide open eyes staring lifelessly upward. With the third flash, he saw the knife in her hand and the wound in her belly. She'd wanted to live. Satomi-chan had wanted to escape, to see her baby born healthy. But whoever found her in the morning would assume she had committed suicide in shame.
His hands were shaking as he tore open the bundle of clothing they'd left to him, draping them over her body. They'd done this to her. Whether it was on Takki's orders or Koyuki-san's, they'd done this to Satomi. To be a Companion was to be a liar. And that was apparently not the worst of it.
In a month he would have been a Companion, fully registered and certified, one of them. Now he was just a 19 year old nobody who didn't know how to do one damned useful thing - he could play shamisen, brew tea, sing, dance, and lie on his back until the person who paid for him came.
He dragged himself to his feet, sobbing hysterically in his confusion and anger. Koyuki-san had threatened his family's livelihood - he couldn't go there, maybe never again. What was he going to do? What the hell was he going to do?
--
3009 CE
Omoikane (the fourth planet)
Himawari Temple
He saw himself in so many of the trainees. They wanted to learn everything. They wanted to turn twenty and become the perfect Companion. Jun didn't have the heart to tell them that being a Companion was largely a profession you learned on the job. And it wasn't always glamorous or ideal or perfect. It was a job, just like any other with its positives and negatives.
But Himawari Temple was unlike most other temples, and the enthusiasm of the trainees seemed to be somewhat tempered by the pragmatism of their Lead Companion. He observed a few classes that morning, correcting some of the younger trainees on their sewing. A Companion's clothes never came cheap, and being able to stitch up and hide imperfections saved money and allowed a wardrobe to last longer. Many a Companion had gone broke by replacing every single item that a rough client had torn.
Himawari had an openness, a freedom that few temples had. The corridors were not hidden in shadow but lit by the natural light of the two suns. "There is no need to hide what we do," Ryoko had always told him, "there's nothing shameful about pleasure."
Jun tried to imagine himself helping the trainees every day, guiding them through activities both practical and carnal. He'd never really thought of being any kind of instructor. He didn't think he had the right background or patience, and yet Ryoko had called him here to at least consider it. But staying at Himawari would mean leaving Arashi. And knowing Sho and his tendency to work on the outer planets, it was highly unlikely they'd cross paths ever again. The world of the temple and the world of Arashi rarely intersected.
With each student he helped to instruct in music class, he thought about one of Arashi's stupid jobs. Of the struggling villages where Sho decided they'd stop for two weeks and help build schools. Of the sterile space stations Arashi hopped back and forth from, ferrying supplies for anyone who'd pay. With each awestruck face that was impressed that he'd been Ryoko's lover and friend for years, he thought of Arashi's crew. The bizarre things that Aiba would say, Becky's cheerful enthusiasm, Meisa's calm and practical kindness, Nino's humor. And Sho...Ryoko had tried to get Jun to come to terms with what he thought about Sho.
Sho frustrated him. Sho infuriated him. But sometimes Sho would do something that Jun couldn't help but admire. They'd take a job on a backwater planet - but then Sho would somehow get the crew tangled in something else. They'd save a woman in trouble, a kidnapped child. It wouldn't just be about the work any longer. Sho would want to make a difference. Whether interfering was right or not, Sho would bullheadedly charge in. All this time Jun had judged him for it. Sho liked to play hero, but why was that such a bad thing?
He spent the next few days confused. Every time he thought about permanence on Omoikane, he thought of Arashi. When Nino sent a message from Arashi one evening while he and Ryoko ate dinner, letting her know the auction had been a success and they were returning with her money, Jun couldn't help but listen in, hearing the pilot's voice and missing them all. When Ryoko looked over at him when the message had finished playing, she already seemed to know what his decision was.
The following night Arashi would be returning to Omoikane, and he had until then to make his final decision. The shamisen class he'd been observing was dismissed early, and Jun decided that he'd make the last night a special one for Ryoko. She'd turned him down every night since he'd arrived, citing her injury or some other excuse. Jun had obeyed her wishes, even as they confused him. Maybe she didn't want to remind him of one major perk accepting her offer would bring - her company, night after night, something he definitely wouldn't dislike.
It had been a while since he'd been with a client who knew him so well. And it had been a while since he'd been with a client where the transaction wasn't one-sided. He headed for his guest room, changing into a yukata she'd bought for him years earlier. Perhaps the memory of the gift would change her mind, and they could part on pleasant terms the coming day.
As soon as he was ready, he decided to sneak in through the rear passage to her own chambers, one that only Ryoko's closest attendants knew about. He felt a bit childish sneaking about, but he'd win her over. Ryoko always liked surprises. He reached her room, and was just about to slide open the panel that he knew was obscured behind a folding screen when he heard Ryoko's voice inside.
"...the last time, I refuse," she was saying, and Jun strained to listen.
"But Yonekura-san, there may still be a chance..." came a man's voice, but Ryoko interrupted him straight away.
"Sensei, it's too late. We looked at the charts together. It's spread, you told me it's spread too far..."
"Our clinic has the most advanced and modern..."
"Sensei," Ryoko repeated. "I've come to terms with it, and I wish you would do the same. My place is here at Himawari Temple."
There was a pause, and finally Ryoko's doctor spoke again. "Very well. I won't force treatment on an unwilling patient..."
"Sensei, there's treatment and then there are lost causes," Ryoko said. "You told me I had time to settle my affairs. I'm settling them, on my own terms. There's nothing more to be done."
That was all Jun could bear to overhear, and he turned around in the hidden corridor, shuffling his way back to his guest chambers, his breaths coming in gasps by the time he got back. He collapsed to his knees in shock, the sash of his yukata loosening, showing him the sunflower pattern on it. He'd complained to Ryoko about how feminine it looked, but she'd bought it for him just the same.
A sprain, Ryoko had told him. She'd only sprained her leg. But that and her other excuses were just a web of deception. Ryoko, who had always been so honest with him, so truthful. She was ill. She was more than ill, Jun told himself. She was dying. The signs had been there - the way she had sat through all her meals, the tired look in her eyes. Even Sho had said she'd looked tired. She'd hired Arashi to sell furniture for her - was Ryoko selling her valuables to ensure the upkeep of Himawari Temple after her passing?
And the request she'd made of him, asking for his help. She'd asked him to teach at her side, but that hadn't been the full truth of it. She wanted to groom him as a successor. She wanted to entrust him with Himawari Temple when she was dead and gone.
It was some time before he could fully collect himself, leave his guest room behind and join Ryoko for dinner. He said nothing of what he'd overheard, taking the time to simply watch her. The beautiful smile, the near perfection of her, save for whatever was inside her, killing her. Something they had apparently not caught in time. Why had he stayed away so long? Why hadn't he visited her more?
When the meal was over, he got to his feet first as he had every night. He realized that she'd been seated the entire week whenever he was in her presence. She hadn't gotten up, had refused to show him any weakness. She didn't want him to know.
He knelt down before her, taking her hand in his own and brushing his lips to her knuckles. "You were awfully quiet this evening, love," she told him, and there was the same spark in her eyes that she always had. How could she be dying? How could a force of nature like Ryoko be dying?
"I have a lot on my mind," he said truthfully.
She smiled, stroking his cheek. "So you're holding your tongue until your Captain Sakurai returns? Ratcheting up the tension, hmm?"
He smiled, wondering if she could tell it was forced. "I like to keep everyone in suspense."
"No matter what your answer is, I just want you to be happy. Always."
He turned her hand over, kissing her palm. "I know."
--
3004 CE
Izanagi (moon of Hachiman, the second planet)
Arcadia Spaceport
He wiped his mouth with a snorting laugh, stumbling out of the bathroom stall with some toilet paper clinging to his shoe and the taste of the businessman's release lingering on his tongue. The man shuffled out without looking back, opening the bathroom door and returning to the thudding bass of the club. Jun didn't mind, he wasn't looking to cuddle after. His pocket full of money, he'd be able to get whatever the fuck he wanted.
He left the bathroom himself, the light show within the club and the music making his euphoric feelings reach even greater heights. He couldn't even count the number of guys he'd blown that night on one hand any longer, and now he'd be able to buy more of the good stuff. The stuff the asshole dealers didn't lace with garbage. Whatever he'd had earlier would probably wear off soon.
The night was hot and muggy, but not as bad as the press of bodies in the club when he got outside, crawling along the brick wall to stay upright. Okay, maybe he'd just have to find a place to crash for now. This side of the moon was dark longer, so he could get things started again in a few hours. His jaw would be sore later, but for now things were doing alright.
He found his way around the corner, past the other drunks and pleasure seekers. Arcadia had been a shock at first, but it was old hat now. Nobody wanted any fucking tea or a shamisen performance, but he'd adapted just fine. Didn't understand why Koyuki-san had made them wait so damned long, making them watch and watch and watch when all you had to do was hit the right spots. If Jun had to be honest, it was better to be the one doing the fucking, but it didn't much matter if he'd taken enough tabs to relax. People coming to Izanagi were just looking for a good time, and so was Jun. And his prices were lower than the registered types from his old life who waited hand and foot on the rich folks in the high-rises.
The world was spinning when he found the metro stop, one of the high-speed lines that connected the whole moon with all that Hachiman fucking precision. There was a corner the cameras didn't reach, and he'd managed to get a grate open the night before, sleeping off the alcohol and the tabs until it was time to start again. He giggled, voice echoing off the tiled walls. He stunk, really stunk. Like cigarettes and cheap beer and half a dozen people wanting a quickie in the toilets. But he didn't smell like fucking incense, and that was fine by him.
He tugged at the grate. They'd screwed it back in place, and he yanked on it, trying to jiggle it loose. The warm air from underground usually wafted up, kept him cozy inside the tight little vent. He was going to pass out standing up before long, but his pockets were full of his hard-earned cash, and the creeps came out once the metro stopped running. He needed to get inside.
"Fucking piece of shit," he complained, throwing a lame punch at the grate and only hurting his hand. "Fuck you!" he said, kicking the damn thing.
"Need somewhere to sleep, love?"
He turned around, squinting in the greenish glow of the metro's overhead lighting. This wasn't some pleasure seeker, no vacationing rich bastard. It was a woman, a gorgeous woman. Maybe the most gorgeous he'd ever seen. Or maybe it was the tab still burning through his bloodstream, turning the world into a rainbow every other time he blinked.
"...lady shouldn't be down here," he accused her, wagging his finger at her. She was pretty tall for a woman and older than him, with a bobbed hairstyle and legs that went on for miles. "Some creepy folks around this late."
She smiled at him, seemingly unaffected. "I know self-defense."
He nodded. "Good. Good. Some...undesirables...you know," he slurred. "Around here."
She approached him, not even wrinkling her nose at the stink of him. She went right up and touched him, fingering his gelled up rat's nest of hair that kept the uptight businessmen lining up. They liked bad boys. The woman tugged on the streaks of blond he'd added a few nights back when he'd hooked up with a hairdresser at a salon after hours.
"You think you're hot stuff, don't you?" she asked him.
He batted her hand away lightly. He didn't hit women unless they specifically requested he do so. "Gonna cost you to touch."
"Sweetie, how old are you?"
"Why? You into cradle robbing?"
She licked her lips, looking him up and down. "How old?"
"Mmm," he said, looking her up and down in return. He decided to be honest - he was too tired to lie, even with all he'd learned and tried to forget. "Twenty. But it'll be my birthday soon. Maybe you can buy me a cake, nee-san."
She linked arms with him, and Jun had a moment's regret at the thought of his smell rubbing off on her fancy clothes. "Come with me, I like you."
Well, anything beat sleeping inside a vent at the metro stop, and he went with her, taking an aircab to one of the hotels near the port. He fell asleep along the way, and she had to nearly drag him inside. "Just let me shower," he mumbled when she swiped the keycard at the door. "Just need to wake up. I won't let you down, nee-san."
He didn't remember much after that, but when he woke up he found himself in the bathtub of her hotel room, cuffed to the handrail bolted to the tub wall, and he struggled against it. "Hey! Hey, let me go!"
She entered the room, out of her "fuck me" dress and pumps from earlier and into a silk kimono. He had a flash of Koyuki-san, but this woman's face was gentler, kinder. "Good morning, love."
"Fuck you," he spat, and she moved over to turn on the shower sprayer, and suddenly he was being drenched with cold water. "What is wrong with you?"
The woman smiled down at him. "I like the blond bit, I think it's cute, Jun-kun."
"Turn the fucking water off."
She smirked. "Watch your language and I will."
He only whimpered at her, trying to curl up in his soaking wet clothes. He needed more, he needed more tabs, and he knew all the cash in his pocket was getting wet now.
"Well?"
"Please turn it off," he begged her, shivering. She did so, moving to put down the toilet seat lid and sitting down to stare at him. "How do you know my name?"
"A year ago I was going to buy you. You were adorable," she said. "I'm a sucker for a pretty face."
He kept shivering. His Coming of Age ceremony. This woman had wanted to bid on his virginity. Too bad he'd given it away without much fuss. "You," he said, teeth chattering, struggling against the cuffs she'd put on him. "You recognized me from...from that?"
"Sumire Temple made you sound so promising and then poof, you vanished." She leaned forward, elbows on her knees. "But I found you. A little rough around the edges, but I found you."
He scowled at her. "What's with the cuffs? If you wanted to fuck..." She raised an eyebrow. "If you just wanted to be with me, you didn't have to tie me up."
"You're going to be my special project," she explained to him, smiling again.
She introduced herself as Yonekura Ryoko, and, to Jun's surprise, she also happened to be the Lead Companion of Himawari Temple on Omoikane. A temple Koyuki-san had always dismissed for their lax training and flippant attitudes toward Companion tradition. All stuff that Jun had struggled to forget. But she wanted to help him, retrain him, get him officially registered through Himawari. She wanted to give him the life he'd worked so hard for. But the temple had turned its back on him. Why the fuck would he want to go back?
"I'm a firm believer in second chances," she said quietly, moving to sit down just next to the tub and grabbing hold of his free hand.
"Why me? You don't even know me."
"Because I understand temple politics, and what happened to you wasn't right." She turned his hand over and kissed his palm. Tenderly, gently. With genuine affection. It was the greatest kindness he'd ever received, and he felt tears well up in his eyes. "I knew you, Jun. I don't bid on just anyone, and I really wanted you. I know the types that come out of Sumire. You didn't seem to fit."
He couldn't keep from crying now. "I wanted to. I tried. I really tried." It was embarrassing now, but the tears kept falling. "I wanted to be perfect."
"I've got you, love. I'm here," she said, stroking his damp hair. "Let me tell you one thing: I don't want you to be perfect. This job isn't about perfection, no matter what they told you. This job is about happiness, and you can't bring happiness to others if you aren't feeling that way yourself."
He broke down, sobbing like a pathetic mess. "I'm not good enough!"
"But you are! Oh, honey, you are!" She got into the bathtub, not caring about her clothes to straddle him, wrapping her arms around him and letting him cry. "Jun-kun, I just want you to be happy. Always."
--
3009 CE
Omoikane (the fourth planet)
Himawari Temple
Jun waited until Arashi docked, and Sho came to meet with Ryoko. The rest of the crew followed at Jun's request, and they all stood around in some confusion within Ryoko's chambers.
Once Sho's business was complete, he turned to leave, and that was when Jun finally spoke up. "Yonekura-san has asked me to remain here on Omoikane as an assistant at the temple."
Everyone seemed to be staring at him, some faces confused, others crestfallen. Sho's face seemed to be an odd mixture of both. Ryoko herself betrayed no inkling of what she was feeling, watching the proceedings from her chaise - she looked relaxed, but Jun knew that she was in pain. She had to have been in pain all this time.
"And I have decided," he said, meeting almost everyone's eyes save for Sho's. "I have decided to accept."
"What?" Becky cried, "but you can't leave!"
Aiba gave him a shove. "You're one of us! We don't want you to go!"
He could see Meisa and Nino stand close together, murmuring in their confusion over the sudden decision and Becky and Aiba in turn tried to talk over one another, begging him not to leave. Finally, Sho cleared his throat.
He looked rather shocked, but he met Jun's eyes calmly. "Congratulations then," the captain said quietly. "On your new position."
Jun couldn't help inclining his head. "Thank you," he managed to mumble even as the thought of Sho's eyes on him burned through him.
Ryoko went on to apologize for "stealing Jun away," inviting Captain Sakurai and the crew to be her guests for the next few days so that Jun's belongings could be relocated from the shuttle aboard Arashi into his rooms in Ryoko's house. Sho agreed with complete kindness, saying how happy he would be to ensure a smooth transition and how grateful they were for her generous offer of hospitality.
With Becky and Aiba dogging him, Jun snuck away to find some of Ryoko's assistants to help plan the move.
--
Ryoko held one final banquet for the crew of Arashi, a rather fancy affair that seemed to perk up the crew's spirits even if they'd be departing come morning with one less person aboard. Jun had buried himself in work, letting Sho and Ryoko's assistants move his things while Ryoko took him through the account ledgers, the temple management, all the things he'd now be responsible for. He still hadn't pressed her about her illness - if she wanted him to know, she'd tell him on her own terms.
The Arashi crew were largely drunk on plum wine, attended on by trainees who wished to practice their conversation skills. Aiba was nearly passed out on Ryoko's dining room floor, surrounded by a gaggle of pretty girls who wanted to get better at massage. Jun rolled his eyes at Aiba's joy, knowing deep down that he'd miss him. Becky had fallen under the charming spells of some of the temple's live-in Companions, a pair of twins with red hair and enough muscles to impress the small but strong little mechanic. Nino and Meisa had accepted Ryoko's offer of a luxurious private room for the night, an obvious step up from Arashi's crew quarters.
But Jun hadn't seen Sho in a while. He recalled that the captain had excused himself to use the washroom, but hadn't come back. He got to his feet, catching Ryoko's eyes from across the dining room. She nodded in acknowledgment. He asked one of the attendants outside the room where Captain Sakurai had gone, and somehow, Jun wasn't surprised to learn that Sho had gone back to his ship.
Docked as it was in the safety of the temple courtyard, the cargo bay door was down and Jun boarded, heading through the hold and up the stairs. He found Sho up front on the bridge, sitting back in Nino's seat with his legs up on the console and an empty bottle of plum wine from Ryoko's house on the floor. He walked over quietly, seeing that Sho was asleep.
Tomorrow Arashi would leave, and he'd probably never see the ship again unless Ryoko came up with another simple job for them to do. Sho snored like a foghorn, and Jun couldn't help but smile, looking down at him in the pilot's seat. Sho was uptight while awake and honest while asleep. The ship was powered down save for the dim glow of the emergency lights on the floor. Starlight shone through the glass, and Jun enjoyed the way Sho's hair fell a bit across his eyes.
He couldn't help brushing his fingers against it, moving it aside. "Goodbye, Captain," he whispered before walking back out of the cockpit.
He was all the way to the kitchen when he heard the bottle tip over up on the bridge and the awkward shuffling run. Sho stumbled into the kitchen, colliding with the dining table hard enough to knock over the small vase of flowers Becky had put there, spilling water all over.
Sho gripped the table, meeting Jun's gaze. He almost wished that Sho had stayed asleep. But another part of him wished the opposite. Sho's eyes were tired, and he was a little puffy from drinking. "I'm sorry if I woke you," Jun said quietly.
Sho was drunk, still wobbling. "Told me...told me before you didn't like people locking...locking you up," he accused him.
Jun looked away. "You're drunk, Sho. Go to bed." This wasn't how he wanted to leave. This wasn't the way he wanted it to end.
Sho thumped his fist on the table, and it looked like it hurt. "So why now?"
He didn't owe Sho any answers, not really. It was the terms of their agreement, wasn't it? That Jun could leave at any time? "She asked for my help. I can make a difference here."
"Difference with what?" Sho was slurring. "No shortage of people for her to fuck around here already."
He saw red, and then he was launching himself at Sho, shoving him back until the captain stumbled, falling to the ground and landing on his ass. And Jun followed him, landing on top of him and yanking the fabric of his t-shirt between his fists. "Fuck you. Don't you ever fucking talk about her that way!"
Sho's eyes were glassy. "Not...not Companion-like...way you're talking, Matsumoto."
"You don't know a god damned thing about me!" He wrenched Sho up, slamming him back down against the floor, letting out his frustrations until Sho was groaning in pain. His frustrations about Arashi, about Ryoko's condition and refusal to tell him the truth, his frustrations about Sho. Jun finally seemed to realize how crazy he was acting, letting Sho go and moving off of him, sliding away until his back hit the bulkhead.
What the hell was he doing? Three years. He'd nearly been on board Arashi for three years, and he'd kept his emotions in check. He looked over, saw Sho struggling to sit up.
"Sho, I'm sorry," Jun muttered, nearly out of breath from his immature display. "I'm sorry."
The captain was leaning against the bench to stay upright. "...didn't mean it. I like her."
A few seconds passed, Sho looking ready to topple over at any moment, Jun feeling like a complete ass. He wasn't angry at Sho, not really. Sho said things like that all the time, and he'd been able to ignore it or chalk it up to Sho just wanting to be difficult.
He could tell Sho. He could tell him about Ryoko's illness, about the real reason he'd decided to stay on Omoikane. But the words wouldn't come. All he could see was Sho with his messy hair in his face, drunk and miserable. Was he just as sad about Jun leaving as Jun himself felt?
Jun got to his feet, walking over to hold out his hand for Sho to take. "I'm sorry."
But when he pulled Sho up, the captain held on to him, his unfocused eyes trying to meet Jun's. "Don't go."
"You're drunk," was all that Jun could say. His heart was racing at Sho's admission, but it wasn't real, Jun told himself. Sho was drunk. It wasn't really him talking.
"Don't go," Sho repeated, and Jun held onto him tighter. "Jun...don't go."
"You're tired," Jun said. "You're tired, and you're drunk." And a noble idiot. And frustrating. And near impossible to communicate with. And in that moment, everything he wanted.
"Don't..." Sho's voice seemed to catch in his throat, and Jun leaned forward to kiss Sho for the first and probably last time, tasting the plum wine on his lips. The same lips that said such stupid, irritating things. But now that he'd given in, he didn't want to stop. He's drunk, he's drunk, he's drunk, Jun tried to tell himself. In the morning he won't remember...
It wasn't like being with a client. It wasn't even like being with Ryoko. He wanted it more, needed it more. He was running on instinct, not on his training. With a client, Jun had every second mapped out - with Sho, he was free falling. Everything he'd been taught seemed not to matter because Sho was kissing him back, opening his mouth so Jun could explore further.
He let Sho awkwardly turn them until Jun was leaning back against the table, hearing it scrape against the floor as the water from the overturned vase soaked into his yukata. Companions couldn't fall in love. Love wasn't real.
"Don't go," Sho was begging him in his drunken haze, his soft lips moving against Jun's own. "Jun...."
He had to go. He'd made a promise to Ryoko. He'd already gone way too far, been way too selfish. "I'm sorry," he said suddenly, breaking them apart when Sho's fingers started tugging at the sash of his yukata. "I'm so sorry."
Jun left Sho wobbling on his feet, hurrying out of the kitchen and down the stairs into the hold in a daze, barely registering his steps on the temple grounds as he headed for his new rooms. All of his things were there, everything that had been in the shuttle, everything Sho had helped move out. He looked around at the new life he'd willingly chosen for himself, his fingers pressed to his swollen lips as the sounds of Ryoko's party for Arashi's crew continued into the night unhindered.
He slid open the door that led out from his room to Ryoko's private gardens, seeing the stars overhead. From now on, he could only look up.
--
The next morning Ryoko summoned for him, and when he arrived in her room, she asked him to escort her into the courtyard. For the first time, she stood up, wincing in obvious pain. Jun held out his arm for her, saying nothing as he led her slowly outside. Perhaps she'd tell him the truth earlier than she'd planned.
He could hear Arashi's engines gearing up for departure, could already see her lifting off. They stood together in the gravel as the ship took to the bright blue skies, headed for the black far above them.
"It's a wonderful ship," she said, holding on to him tightly.
"It is."
Ryoko, who'd always helped him, cared for him - now it was his turn to support her.