Three Bad Neighbors
Title: Three Bad Neighbors
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Gen - all of Arashi
Summary: Sure, Jun always paid his half of the rent on time, and he was just as meticulously clean as Sho was. But he was so particular! Sho happened to like B neg just fine, thanks.
Notes/Warnings: An AU request from darkilk who asked for vampires and werewolves. Hehe.
“Their music is so loud!” Jun complained, rummaging through the cupboards for the new glass he’d gotten from Don Quijote. There was no getting back to sleep, even though they didn’t have to head out for work for a few hours. But there was bass thumping through the ceiling, and it had woken them both up.
And it was ridiculously loud, Sho acknowledged. The two bedroom just above them had new occupants, and they’d been noisy since day one. “Should I go up and scare them?”
“Full moon tonight,” Jun grumbled, finally locating the glass. “I don’t think you’d do a good job scaring them.”
“I can be scary,” Sho protested, setting down the newspaper and joining Jun in the kitchen.
Jun bared his own fangs suddenly, and Sho jumped. His roommate just sighed and poured the blood cocktail into the glass. “If you’re scared of me, Sakurai, then I don’t think a bunch of stinky mutts are going to be shaking in their shoes.” He wrinkled his nose when he took a sip. Jun squinted at the bottle. “B negative? Why did you buy B neg? Again?”
The music got louder, and Sho eyed the ceiling warily. “I’m still going up there.”
“Then go up there,” Jun said, pouring the B negative down the drain. “Stop talking about it, and do it!”
One of these months, Sho vowed, he’d move out. Sure, Jun always paid his half of the rent on time, and he was just as meticulously clean as Sho was. But he was so particular! Sho happened to like B neg just fine, thanks. And Jun always tied up the bathroom for ages, using up all the whitening strips to make sure his fangs stayed as beautiful and frightening as ever.
It was difficult to find a roommate who was not only in the same “situation” as it were, but was also someone he could get along with. He kept odd hours after all.
He let the apartment door slam behind him and climbed the stairs to the unit above them. He sneezed at the wreath of garlic that hung around the doorframe. Not only were his upstairs neighbors noisy, but they were racist. Well, it’s not like they came out and said they were prejudiced against him or Jun, but their decoration certainly sent a bold message.
Sho knocked with purpose. The music didn’t get any quieter, and it was positively blaring when one of the tenants opened the door.
“Hey! From downstairs right?” the guy asked. It was the friendly one, the one who might not have been all there in the head. Maybe each full moon made him more and more like an animal, Sho figured.
“Aiba?”
“Yup, that’s me!”
“Listen Aiba...” Sho eyed the array of wooden crosses on the wall inside the apartment, already feeling an itchy sensation in his skin. Coupled with the allergy-inducing garlic, someone in the upstairs apartment really didn’t want him in there. “Do you think you could turn the music down?”
Aiba was confused. “But it’s 3:00 in the afternoon?”
“Yes, I realize that, but my roommate and I work nights. We sleep during the day.”
Aiba shrugged helplessly. “I’m sorry, but we always listen to this song when we’re pregaming.”
Sho was confused. “I’m sorry. Pregaming?” He finally listened a bit closer - not only were they blaring music loudly here, but they were blaring Who Let the Dogs Out? - on a loop.
Another friendly enough face appeared, looking out from the kitchen. It was the shorter one with the round face. “Who is it?”
Aiba turned back to his roommate. “It’s the bloodlicker from downstairs...” He turned back to Sho apologetically. “Sorry. What was your name again?”
“Sakurai.”
Round face came over to the door. “You don’t know what pregaming is?”
“Should I?” The music was still coming through the speakers, and Sho was pretty sure that Jun was already back in his coffin with his best earplugs in. He wasn’t the friendliest when he didn’t get his beauty sleep.
“Well, you know what tonight is, right?” Aiba asked, scratching the little tufts of hair on his chin and jaw that Sho suspected had only sprouted in that morning. Round face, Ohno, had half a beard already, and the hair on his arms was pretty thick in anticipation of the night’s activities - whatever the three tenants did. Sho assumed it usually involved a lot of vandalism and skirt chasing. “We don’t hide who we are, friend. We celebrate it!”
“I have nothing against your customs or traditions. I’m just asking you to turn down the Baha Men, if you don’t mind?”
“We do mind!” came a third voice. One of the bedroom doors opened, and it was the skinny one - the one that Sho suspected was responsible for the crosses and the garlic.
Sho sighed, itching to sink his fangs into something to see if it would help matters any - but he had a clean record, and he was having a performance review at the office this week.
“You’re trying to stifle our freedom of expression,” the skinny one, Nino, declared. He hadn’t sprouted much hair yet today - then again, Sho thought, he looked about fifteen, so maybe he just changed over without much lead-up. His roommates both scratched behind their ears, unwilling to get involved.
“You can freely express all you want at a volume that respects your neighbors,” Sho pointed out. “I’d rather discuss this like mature adults. Don’t make me call the police.”
“Police don’t scare us,” Nino teased. “We’ve got free reign tonight. Besides, you and your roommate always come home at 4 AM with someone to slurp, and you think we don’t hear that stuff? Well, we hear it. So why don’t you go back downstairs, Twilight?”
Sho’s anger ratcheted up. He did not effing sparkle. “Take it back.”
“What are you going to do?” Nino asked. “Are you going to try glamouring me? Because it won’t work.” He pointed to his cross collection. “And besides, we haven’t invited you in, so you can’t touch us, haha!”
He gripped the door frame tighter, unable to move forward to take a bite out of the stupid wolf boy’s neck.
Ohno tried to calm his roommate. “We could turn it down a little. They have to go to work after all.”
“Do what you want. I’ve got another three hours before I change, and I’m going to finish this stupid level.”
Nino disappeared back into his room, complaining about getting a game over on his Vampire Hunter D something or other, and thankfully, Aiba turned the Baha Men down a bit.
“He’s just grouchy because his last girlfriend was a bloodlicker,” Aiba explained. “No offense. But yeah, she broke his heart pretty bad. Wasn’t into the whole transformation thing.”
Well, that explained a lot. It didn’t excuse an hour of Who Let the Dogs Out, but at least Sho could see why Nino was so fond of garlic and Christian decor. Maybe he could get a few more hours of sleep now.
It was kind of awkward, and Aiba was itching to get back to his pregaming. Sho still didn’t have a good grasp on what that meant, aside from listening to bad music and taking a flea bath (he could see the special soap on the table in the middle of the living room).
“Okay. Um. Thanks then. Just...thanks,” Sho said, backing away from the doorway. As Aiba smiled and shut the door, Sho already felt less itchy and his nose stopped running entirely by the time he got back downstairs.
Jun’s door was closed again, and Sho frowned at the empty bottle of B neg on the kitchen counter. His roommate had poured it all down the drain. What a waste! He set the bottle aside with the recycling and headed for his own room.
He just had the lid closed when the bass started pounding again. Nino. It had to be Nino. Jun was already on the phone when he walked back into their shared living space.
“They didn’t invite me in,” Sho complained. “But they said they’d keep it down!”
Jun was furious. “I’m calling the landlord.”
Sho pointed to the jewelry on his roommate’s fingers and around his own neck. “I have a better idea.”
--
He and Jun were getting ready for work a few hours later - tired but smiling. As they headed out of the apartment building, they could hear the irritated howls coming from the floor above them.
When he returned from work in the wee hours of the morning, he’d be happy to take all the silver things back that he and Jun had meticulously arranged around their neighbors’ door frame. His roommate had almost as many rings as a jeweler - the one with the skull on it was Sho’s favorite. That one was now suspended from the garlic wreath, and Sho had the stuffed up nose to prove it.
But for now, nothing was letting the dogs out, and that was fine by him.
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Gen - all of Arashi
Summary: Sure, Jun always paid his half of the rent on time, and he was just as meticulously clean as Sho was. But he was so particular! Sho happened to like B neg just fine, thanks.
Notes/Warnings: An AU request from darkilk who asked for vampires and werewolves. Hehe.
“Their music is so loud!” Jun complained, rummaging through the cupboards for the new glass he’d gotten from Don Quijote. There was no getting back to sleep, even though they didn’t have to head out for work for a few hours. But there was bass thumping through the ceiling, and it had woken them both up.
And it was ridiculously loud, Sho acknowledged. The two bedroom just above them had new occupants, and they’d been noisy since day one. “Should I go up and scare them?”
“Full moon tonight,” Jun grumbled, finally locating the glass. “I don’t think you’d do a good job scaring them.”
“I can be scary,” Sho protested, setting down the newspaper and joining Jun in the kitchen.
Jun bared his own fangs suddenly, and Sho jumped. His roommate just sighed and poured the blood cocktail into the glass. “If you’re scared of me, Sakurai, then I don’t think a bunch of stinky mutts are going to be shaking in their shoes.” He wrinkled his nose when he took a sip. Jun squinted at the bottle. “B negative? Why did you buy B neg? Again?”
The music got louder, and Sho eyed the ceiling warily. “I’m still going up there.”
“Then go up there,” Jun said, pouring the B negative down the drain. “Stop talking about it, and do it!”
One of these months, Sho vowed, he’d move out. Sure, Jun always paid his half of the rent on time, and he was just as meticulously clean as Sho was. But he was so particular! Sho happened to like B neg just fine, thanks. And Jun always tied up the bathroom for ages, using up all the whitening strips to make sure his fangs stayed as beautiful and frightening as ever.
It was difficult to find a roommate who was not only in the same “situation” as it were, but was also someone he could get along with. He kept odd hours after all.
He let the apartment door slam behind him and climbed the stairs to the unit above them. He sneezed at the wreath of garlic that hung around the doorframe. Not only were his upstairs neighbors noisy, but they were racist. Well, it’s not like they came out and said they were prejudiced against him or Jun, but their decoration certainly sent a bold message.
Sho knocked with purpose. The music didn’t get any quieter, and it was positively blaring when one of the tenants opened the door.
“Hey! From downstairs right?” the guy asked. It was the friendly one, the one who might not have been all there in the head. Maybe each full moon made him more and more like an animal, Sho figured.
“Aiba?”
“Yup, that’s me!”
“Listen Aiba...” Sho eyed the array of wooden crosses on the wall inside the apartment, already feeling an itchy sensation in his skin. Coupled with the allergy-inducing garlic, someone in the upstairs apartment really didn’t want him in there. “Do you think you could turn the music down?”
Aiba was confused. “But it’s 3:00 in the afternoon?”
“Yes, I realize that, but my roommate and I work nights. We sleep during the day.”
Aiba shrugged helplessly. “I’m sorry, but we always listen to this song when we’re pregaming.”
Sho was confused. “I’m sorry. Pregaming?” He finally listened a bit closer - not only were they blaring music loudly here, but they were blaring Who Let the Dogs Out? - on a loop.
Another friendly enough face appeared, looking out from the kitchen. It was the shorter one with the round face. “Who is it?”
Aiba turned back to his roommate. “It’s the bloodlicker from downstairs...” He turned back to Sho apologetically. “Sorry. What was your name again?”
“Sakurai.”
Round face came over to the door. “You don’t know what pregaming is?”
“Should I?” The music was still coming through the speakers, and Sho was pretty sure that Jun was already back in his coffin with his best earplugs in. He wasn’t the friendliest when he didn’t get his beauty sleep.
“Well, you know what tonight is, right?” Aiba asked, scratching the little tufts of hair on his chin and jaw that Sho suspected had only sprouted in that morning. Round face, Ohno, had half a beard already, and the hair on his arms was pretty thick in anticipation of the night’s activities - whatever the three tenants did. Sho assumed it usually involved a lot of vandalism and skirt chasing. “We don’t hide who we are, friend. We celebrate it!”
“I have nothing against your customs or traditions. I’m just asking you to turn down the Baha Men, if you don’t mind?”
“We do mind!” came a third voice. One of the bedroom doors opened, and it was the skinny one - the one that Sho suspected was responsible for the crosses and the garlic.
Sho sighed, itching to sink his fangs into something to see if it would help matters any - but he had a clean record, and he was having a performance review at the office this week.
“You’re trying to stifle our freedom of expression,” the skinny one, Nino, declared. He hadn’t sprouted much hair yet today - then again, Sho thought, he looked about fifteen, so maybe he just changed over without much lead-up. His roommates both scratched behind their ears, unwilling to get involved.
“You can freely express all you want at a volume that respects your neighbors,” Sho pointed out. “I’d rather discuss this like mature adults. Don’t make me call the police.”
“Police don’t scare us,” Nino teased. “We’ve got free reign tonight. Besides, you and your roommate always come home at 4 AM with someone to slurp, and you think we don’t hear that stuff? Well, we hear it. So why don’t you go back downstairs, Twilight?”
Sho’s anger ratcheted up. He did not effing sparkle. “Take it back.”
“What are you going to do?” Nino asked. “Are you going to try glamouring me? Because it won’t work.” He pointed to his cross collection. “And besides, we haven’t invited you in, so you can’t touch us, haha!”
He gripped the door frame tighter, unable to move forward to take a bite out of the stupid wolf boy’s neck.
Ohno tried to calm his roommate. “We could turn it down a little. They have to go to work after all.”
“Do what you want. I’ve got another three hours before I change, and I’m going to finish this stupid level.”
Nino disappeared back into his room, complaining about getting a game over on his Vampire Hunter D something or other, and thankfully, Aiba turned the Baha Men down a bit.
“He’s just grouchy because his last girlfriend was a bloodlicker,” Aiba explained. “No offense. But yeah, she broke his heart pretty bad. Wasn’t into the whole transformation thing.”
Well, that explained a lot. It didn’t excuse an hour of Who Let the Dogs Out, but at least Sho could see why Nino was so fond of garlic and Christian decor. Maybe he could get a few more hours of sleep now.
It was kind of awkward, and Aiba was itching to get back to his pregaming. Sho still didn’t have a good grasp on what that meant, aside from listening to bad music and taking a flea bath (he could see the special soap on the table in the middle of the living room).
“Okay. Um. Thanks then. Just...thanks,” Sho said, backing away from the doorway. As Aiba smiled and shut the door, Sho already felt less itchy and his nose stopped running entirely by the time he got back downstairs.
Jun’s door was closed again, and Sho frowned at the empty bottle of B neg on the kitchen counter. His roommate had poured it all down the drain. What a waste! He set the bottle aside with the recycling and headed for his own room.
He just had the lid closed when the bass started pounding again. Nino. It had to be Nino. Jun was already on the phone when he walked back into their shared living space.
“They didn’t invite me in,” Sho complained. “But they said they’d keep it down!”
Jun was furious. “I’m calling the landlord.”
Sho pointed to the jewelry on his roommate’s fingers and around his own neck. “I have a better idea.”
--
He and Jun were getting ready for work a few hours later - tired but smiling. As they headed out of the apartment building, they could hear the irritated howls coming from the floor above them.
When he returned from work in the wee hours of the morning, he’d be happy to take all the silver things back that he and Jun had meticulously arranged around their neighbors’ door frame. His roommate had almost as many rings as a jeweler - the one with the skull on it was Sho’s favorite. That one was now suspended from the garlic wreath, and Sho had the stuffed up nose to prove it.
But for now, nothing was letting the dogs out, and that was fine by him.