[IC: post-vampire-post post]

[astalavampire]

[In her room in the library, there is a Methuselah recuperating.  Possibly she is reading, possibly keeping up with camp via her laptop, possibly napping.  You should bother her.]

[ooc:  ...Because people who know Asta might want a damn explanation.  Or might want to see if she's okay.  OR MIGHT WANT TO MAKE SURE SHE DOESN'T GO CRAZY AGAIN.]

Comments

[southern_pansy]

Miss Astheroshe...?

[southern_pansy]

My, what an unfortunate way to live.

[astalavampire]

[adfjaks;dfl]

W-what?

[southern_pansy]

Someone once told me that it was foolish of God to devise punishments for His children, because they would punish themselves for anything once given the opportunity.

[astalavampire]

What I am was used against me in such a way that I attacked innocent Terran. A Methuselah in the grip of bloodlust is a mindless monster who will feed until he is glutted with blood. I have to face the people I bit, and I have no better explanation than, "It wasn't my fault."

How is that even remotely acceptable for an explanation?

[southern_pansy]

In a location such as this one, it is perfectly acceptable. You did nothing wrong; you had no way of controlling yourself. In the end, the only thing you are able to do is to explain the situation; apologize for any duress, if you so choose; and hope that they will have it in their hearts to forgive -- and if they do not, then it is off your head.

[astalavampire]

...

You... don't understand. You can't understand.

[southern_pansy]

Why is that?

[astalavampire]

There are many preconceived notions about Methuselah, Mr. Fell. The Terran from my world think we're monsters who steal their children in the night. The word itself, 'vampire,' is a filthy epithet among us. And in the course of one night, I became the worst of everything they ever said about us. I killed the very people I am meant to help protect. I nearly attacked a friend.

I did those things -- things that I would not forgive. And if I wouldn't forgive them, how can I expect anyone else to?

[southern_pansy]

I believe you may find that others are more critical of the lines between what you choose to do, and what you are not able to control.

[astalavampire]

And you expect me to believe that a bunch of Terran are going to understand that I had no control over my actions?

[southern_pansy]

Yes. Why would they not?

[astalavampire]

Why, when such behavior was precisely what they would have expected from a vampire in the first place?

[southern_pansy]

But they know it is not who you are, do they not?

[astalavampire]

I didn't know the people I bit, and they didn't know me.

[southern_pansy]

[sighs]

You seem wholeheartedly to believe yourself guilty of some terrible crime; there is very little to be done until you have made peace with yourself.