Memories/sayings ruining obJects?

[unowncafe]

Okay so that title probably isn't too helpful sorry about that. I have a question for you since this happens to me occasionally. If someone says something negative about your favorite piece of clothing or any other obJect you really love and the person is rather close to you would that obJect be ruined forever

Comments

[1337nik]

You spent $200, you loved it, and it sucks your mom had to ruin it for you. It's a really nice skirt. I have a lot of stuff I got in my last relationship, gifts and cards and such that I needed to get rid of. There are even games I don't want to play anymore because even though I like them, we played them together and they remind me of him.

But it's all just memories and we can control how our memories affect us. We can write over them. And you can tell your mom to get bent. :P (I'm just joking, I don't mean to be rude.)

[unowncafe]

That's why i wore it two times since like february cause i decided 'fuck you i'mma do what i want!' (not actually said to my mom though.) It was Just ruined though which sucks because i love it.

[vampslayer04]

I've seen people wearing lolita fashions at anime conventions, and I do kinda side-eye it a bit, but I don't see how that skirt alone is going to attract pedophiles? Or, actually, while loli fashion would attract pedophiles at all. The worst you might get is some people into age-play.

It just seems whimsical and cute to me. I'd keep wearing it personally, if you love it that much. Definitely don't get rid of it - like you said, you spent two hundred dollars on it, and you deserve to enjoy it.

Although, it took me a long time to get to a headspace where I could just do what made me happy and fuck the rest of the world(forgive my language). But I've been a lot happier since I made that decision. So there's that.

Good luck.

[pklemica]

Given what the name "Lolita" means to most people our parents' age, I'm not in the least surprised that some might get the idea that things related to a subculture with that name are going to attract pedophiles.

To the OP: I wonder if it would help any, to have a conversation with your mother about what this movement is about, and what it means to you. Her ignorance of the matter leaves her to fill in the holes with fear. I can't guarantee she'll listen - a lot of the time my mother is just so stuck in the idea that "mother knows best" that even though I'm a grown-ass adult at this point, she still won't let me explain my own life to her. But the few times she does actually try to hear me, I think it's been really good for us.

[nirrti_rachelle]

Squeeeee!

I'm also into Gothic Lolita fashion and I love the Wonder Cookie print series. NTs who wear Lolita are always talking about how it takes guts to wear. But aspies experience scrutiny for just existing. That's why it doesn't bother me as much if people look at my clothes funny. They're gonna judge you anyway so might as well have fun with it.

Don't let the haters ruin what you like. Life's too short to kowtow to narrow-minded people.

[alobar]

> If someone says something negative about your favorite piece of clothing or any other obJect you really love and the person is rather close to you would that obJect be ruined forever?

I take the exact opposite approach. If someone does not like my clothing, my purple hair, or my lifestyle, I ask that person why s/he thinks I care what s/he thinks.

As a kid, my Mom was always dressing me in green. She loved green nd brown. When I got old enough, I began to whine about the green shirts, brown shoes and brown pants. She was shocked that did not like green. Her sister (whom my Mom did not like very much) liked blue. I liked blue also. My Mom had a hard time with me liking blue. By the time I was ~14, I had no green or brown.

[midnight_dm]

I hear you and I'm sorry your mother ruined something you loved.
I think it's pretty :)

For me, it depends, but yes, it can happen.
If someone very close to me makes a bad comment about an object I like I find it a lot more difficult to use it because each time I use it I remember that comment and it stings.

I think for ourselves, we have to learn a way to not let others affect us, no matter how close they are.
If we love something, that must be what matters the most :)