I'm not diagnosed as anywhere on the spectrum and I'm not sure I would be unless it was at the very mild end.
But I was 25 before I ever dated anyone. There were a number of women before that I was interested in and I may, emphasis on may, have missed noticing that one of them was interested in me but mostly it was unrequited. I don't have many close friends but nearly everyone I spend anytime with (mostly at church or game nights) seems to think I'm a nice guy.
From my perspective you're doing better than I was as I didn't do well with school as I was too lazy. I keep getting told not to compare myself to others and while I have trouble following that advice myself it does seem worth following.
It certainly is worth following. I always used to compare myself to others, and found that depressing as there will always be people more perfect than oneself. What's important is to focuse on what you're good at instead of vice versa. Thanks for commenting.
... there will always be people more perfect than oneself. I've decided to try avoiding this particular thought as much as possible. Especially after I realised that most of what I see as my faults are things that I don't let anyone else know about and therefore I'll be seen as more "perfect" than I am by others. The focus on what you're good at is good advice though, I'd probably be happier if I managed that better.
As for boyfriends, don't worry. I'm 18 and haven't found anyone for me. It's not really a race for anyone to get a boyfriend. I've only liked about 2 people so far. One I recently told, and the other I'm just waiting. I have no idea how it works at all, but I have a feeling that there's gonna be a certain moment where it's just like, "Ohhhh...." I never liked anyone in high school (besides one).
Right now I'm in college and I'm a music education major, meaning I have tons of music classes and lots of band activities. Being involved in certain specialties like that means a greater chance of finding friends. I think everyone (even some who are just plain mean) have friends if they're involved in their own field. In high school, you can have activities, but they're not deep-rooted and you don't really see the person/people everyday (considering that in college you can live in a dorm, meaning you're living there).
Same for me, I've only ever like a couple of guys. You told him? What did he say?
I agree. That sounds really fun. Your lucky. I've always loved music, but you have to have REALLY good grades to get into any music class where I live. The problem is that my specialty is language, and there are no schools particularly for language! Everyone at my college are so different from me it's not even funny.
I've been on the same situation. Oh yes, indeed. Dated for the first time, very briefly at 18 (first year in college, feeling like I had to force myself to try new things, like everyone else was doing). Nothing much after that. My first steady relationship? When I was 25, which means a few months ago.
My mum used to tell me that I shouldn't worry, that things would come 'at the right time'. I hated that. I didn't want to lag behind all my friends (few though they were). I wanted to have all those things the 'normal people' had.
I have a girlfriend now. I have few friends, perhaps fewer than what I would like, but they're there and they understand me. So yeah, it took a while, but I made it, though at times it seemed absolutely impossible.
Take your time, don't force yourself into anything you don't feel ready for, and relax; more people than you think have been in the same situation.
It's good to hear that there are people in the same sitution out there! It's nice that you have a steady relationship now, though :)
I know what you mean. I've been told that many times too. Pretty much all my old friends have boyfriends by know, and I keep getting told the longer I wait the better relationship I might have. Well, I guess they're right.
Sometimes it's better to have few friends than many! Then you can be closer to them and spend more time with them all.
I'm 22 and I've never dated. Also, I have only one friend who is usually very busy. I spend most of my time by myself and am getting so used to it I'm not sure if I want to make friends.
I know what you mean getting used to it. When I tell people I don't really have any friends they're like "Isn't that very lonely?" but I'm so used to it that it doesn't bother me that much anymore.
I got my first girlfriend when I was 17. She lived in another town; we only got together because a mutual friend decided we were a good match and worked really hard to persuade me to introduce myself to her by writing a her a letter (I'm old; when I was 17, people still wrote long personal letters on paper and sent them to each other via the U.S. Postal Service). She and I were both really good at writing letters, so by the time we met in person, we'd written a whole lot of them to each other and had already broken the ice and gotten romantically interested in one another. If it hadn't happened that way, and if that experience hadn't been positive enough to boost my confidence, I might have remained single until I was well into my twenties
( ... )
That sounds very nice. My father is an asperger (not diagnosed) and he met my mother after being penpals with her. It seems to work pretty well that way.
It's good to hear you have alot of friends now! And it's good to know that they accept who you are and understand when you want to be by yourself. I lost my best friend because I completely disappeared from the social scene, and she didn't understand why. She thought I didn't want to be friends anymore.
It sounds like you have found a good routine in life. Of course you can take a break and be single! Thanks for commenting.
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But I was 25 before I ever dated anyone. There were a number of women before that I was interested in and I may, emphasis on may, have missed noticing that one of them was interested in me but mostly it was unrequited.
I don't have many close friends but nearly everyone I spend anytime with (mostly at church or game nights) seems to think I'm a nice guy.
From my perspective you're doing better than I was as I didn't do well with school as I was too lazy. I keep getting told not to compare myself to others and while I have trouble following that advice myself it does seem worth following.
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I've decided to try avoiding this particular thought as much as possible. Especially after I realised that most of what I see as my faults are things that I don't let anyone else know about and therefore I'll be seen as more "perfect" than I am by others.
The focus on what you're good at is good advice though, I'd probably be happier if I managed that better.
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Right now I'm in college and I'm a music education major, meaning I have tons of music classes and lots of band activities. Being involved in certain specialties like that means a greater chance of finding friends. I think everyone (even some who are just plain mean) have friends if they're involved in their own field. In high school, you can have activities, but they're not deep-rooted and you don't really see the person/people everyday (considering that in college you can live in a dorm, meaning you're living there).
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I agree. That sounds really fun. Your lucky. I've always loved music, but you have to have REALLY good grades to get into any music class where I live. The problem is that my specialty is language, and there are no schools particularly for language! Everyone at my college are so different from me it's not even funny.
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I've been on the same situation. Oh yes, indeed. Dated for the first time, very briefly at 18 (first year in college, feeling like I had to force myself to try new things, like everyone else was doing). Nothing much after that. My first steady relationship? When I was 25, which means a few months ago.
My mum used to tell me that I shouldn't worry, that things would come 'at the right time'. I hated that. I didn't want to lag behind all my friends (few though they were). I wanted to have all those things the 'normal people' had.
I have a girlfriend now. I have few friends, perhaps fewer than what I would like, but they're there and they understand me. So yeah, it took a while, but I made it, though at times it seemed absolutely impossible.
Take your time, don't force yourself into anything you don't feel ready for, and relax; more people than you think have been in the same situation.
:)
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It's good to hear that there are people in the same sitution out there! It's nice that you have a steady relationship now, though :)
I know what you mean. I've been told that many times too. Pretty much all my old friends have boyfriends by know, and I keep getting told the longer I wait the better relationship I might have. Well, I guess they're right.
Sometimes it's better to have few friends than many! Then you can be closer to them and spend more time with them all.
Thanks for your advice, I'll try :)
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But I hope you are still happy.
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It's good to hear you have alot of friends now! And it's good to know that they accept who you are and understand when you want to be by yourself. I lost my best friend because I completely disappeared from the social scene, and she didn't understand why. She thought I didn't want to be friends anymore.
It sounds like you have found a good routine in life. Of course you can take a break and be single! Thanks for commenting.
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