How Would You Like People to Treat You During/After a Meltdown?

[donsakers]

I have a number of Aspie or Aspie-like friends, and occasionally one of them has a meltdown (don't we all?). I'm never sure how to treat them. As I think about it, I'm not exactly sure how I want to be treated during or after a meltdown

Comments

[frankiejlh]

The best response I ever got after what I would classify as a meltdown (ever-so-roughly paraphrased): "Oh, good. Up to now I was beginning to feel like a dork because you knew more about my messy aspects than I knew about yours."
Granted, that response wouldn't work in a million situations, but it worked well in that one.
In general, post-meltdown, I prefer some reassurance that people still respect me as a peer of equal intelligence and sanity rather than seeing me as someone who needs their caretaking and ...meta-vigilance, for want of what I'm actually trying to say.
At the time, I just want to be left alone in a way that doesn't look like the other person is all that bothered, like "you want some space?" "yes" "cool. I'll just be over here" ::person extracts themselves and therefore isn't too put out by the whole thing and therefore I don't have to worry about that on top of everything else::.

[conuly]

It has been, fortunately, years since I've had a meltdown. Been melty, but never had a meltdown in the past few years. Here's hoping things continue in that way. Paradoxically, whenever I had them before, I both wanted people to stay and hug and soothe me AND to go away and leave me alone. I rarely say this when it comes to NTs adapting to autistic family members, but in some respects my family consists of long-suffering saints. I don't know if I could've stood to be around somebody alternately screaming for people to not leave them alone and then shoving them away (and this after yelling and throwing things and all).

[sr_rivka42]

I'd typically want to be left alone, except perhaps in the case of someone else who I'm really, really close to. But as a general rule, I'd like to be left alone, preferably in some kind of quiet, dark, sensory-friendly environment. Afterwards, I'd prefer others to pretend it didn't happen for the most part, though if you want to say (sincerely) that it's okay and it didn't affect your view of me, that would be great, too.

[darthhellokitty]

Usually when these things happen, my husband's around - either he was there, or I came right home. I want hugs and reassurance.

The other place it happens is at things like an SF convention I go to every year, where I inevitably angst about socializing vs. hiding in my room. Then I want to be let alone, and usually I'll take a long bath. If someone I know well says something sympathetic and encouraging later, that's good; otherwise let's all pretend nothing happened. XD

[su_huan_jen]

I prefer to be left alone. Talking to me just makes the meltdown last longer. I had one in school that lasted half the day because teachers kept trying to talk to me because they thought it would help. It's okay to talk to me after a meltdown, though.