Comments | asperger: AS and sex

ex_jah_alarm759 in asperger

AS and sex

Feb 12, 2008 18:34

One of the problems I've been having for the past 10 years is suppressed sexual desire, which I've always explained by bad ecology and certain other external factors that I've been surrounded most of my life. A few days ago I had a meeting with a doctor, and he told me that Asperger's syndrom that I have could be one of the main reasons behind this ( Read more... )

sex

Comments 34

old_cutter_john February 12 2008, 15:04:03 UTC

I'm led to wonder how you and your partners choose each other and decide to fuck. Feel encouraged, but not required, to explain. I can't promise that it will lead me to say more than I'm saying here ( ... )

ex_jah_alarm759 February 13 2008, 01:42:32 UTC

When I had a girlfriend (dated the same girl for over 5 years). For some reason (I still hold AS guilty) she enjoyed it much more than me-serial orgasms, a lot of fun for her, powerful emotions. I felt a lot like a machine or something like taht-do what I have to, get an A+ performance and C+ (at best) output, fall asleep. Bottom line. I can't say I gained any kind of 'intimate knowledge'. At the end of the day I was happy to leave her, as much as I respect her.

old_cutter_john February 13 2008, 02:17:27 UTC

I'm more inclined to believe that you just weren't turned on to her than that autism dooms you to experience sex that way. Perhaps you'll eventually find someone with whom it will be better for you. I sure hope so!

ex_jah_alarm759 February 13 2008, 05:02:01 UTC

well for some reason this hasn't happened for the past 28 years. Somehow none of the partners I've had (although not too many, I confess) 'turned me on' to them. This is suspicious, to say the least. I'm not saying AS is responsible for this, but this could be one of the fundamental reasons.

fraarn February 12 2008, 15:57:01 UTC

I am sort of strange. When im not in a relationship I have almost no sex drive, however whenever I am in a relationship I become sort of hypersexual.

That is too say almost anything that person does turns me, it can be her voice, scent, laughter. Simple things like holding hands, sitting next too her or just watching her will make me extremely horny all the time. I am now in a relationship with a wonderful woman, and just reading her mails turns me on like crazy, just mailing about normal things. I only get this way when I am inlove. No other woman then the one I am inlove with will make me react like this. So im sort of wierd like that.

irinacita February 12 2008, 16:15:53 UTC

My partner has AS and has a strong sexual drive. I have no problem with this, as I'm fairly active as well. I don't know that the AS affects it one way or the other, in terms of actual drive. In terms of performance, I think the AS makes him better well-read on the subject, and I know that many times he enjoys my reactions almost more than his own - for the simple entertainment value, or that he can bring me to that reaction. Either way, I don't mind, and I don't consider his AS as a problem in the bedroom. The one thing that I have noticed is that if I were not as forward and able to say what I want, we would definitely have problems. Some NT women have a hard time telling a partner what they want, regardless of whether that partner is NT or AS.

fraarn February 12 2008, 16:30:05 UTC

Your partner and I have something in common. The most pleasurabol for me when I make love, is too observe the pleasure I am giving my partner. And I study alot on how too give the most pleasure, because that is what its all about for me. Dont know if I am any good though, but I try haha!

sevenjades February 12 2008, 16:22:04 UTC

My relationship with sex is... wierd. I see where you're coming from, and honestly if I never had sex again, it would be ok for me. But I enjoy it, the same way I enjoy reading a good book or solving a difficult programming problem. I can only orgasm one way, and it takes a while; it feels ok getting there, but it's not the highlight of the act. But getting the other person off? I can really get into that. It's a skill, an activity that involves concentration and paying attention to detail and loosing myself, becomign obsessed with the action - which plays to my AS strengths. :) So the joy I get from sex isn't about getting off, it's about obsessing and loosing myself in the act and knowing that, unlike other AS behaviors, this one actually pleases other people ( ... )

ex_jah_alarm759 February 13 2008, 01:43:32 UTC

Does it mean you have to concentrate to enjoy the process? Or this somehow happens naturally?

kisekileia February 12 2008, 18:35:16 UTC

I have a normal/high-ish sex drive, but I'm really really self-conscious about sex. I think that's due to things that happened in my childhood and adolescence, though, rather than directly to my AS. My AS contributed to the bullying I experienced as a child, which was one of the direct factors making me self-conscious about sex, though.