3
3
You better stay away from him, he'll rip your lungs out, Jim
Later that afternoon, he called Annella and gave her his address. They planned dinner, something he ordered in because he wasn't taking a chance on his hit-or-miss culinary skills. He might rank her and she'd have to be polite no matter what, but no way was he offering her grilled cheese and canned soup. His mom would kill him.
Dinner with Annella turned out to be an interesting, if slightly formal affair. She wasn't remotely as casual as she'd been at the club, not at all. She was wonderfully polite, just like Jared imagined she'd be-just lifted an eyebrow at his tiny, drab apartment but never voiced the "Are you kidding?" that was lurking in her eyes. Classy. It took him a few minutes and a demand almost amounting to an order-awkward-before she dropped his titles and again called him by his first name without wincing.
He seated her at the kitchen table, his place too small to have any kind of dining room. He'd tried-he'd covered the table with a linen cloth his mom had given him, probably in hopes of civilizing him. He'd set the table with real plates not made of paper, and silverware. He'd even scared up some wineglasses…when he'd pulled Annella's chair out, she'd sat like his tiny kitchen was the best place she could be. Super classy.
Jared tried to be subtle about checking her out-probably not very successfully. He'd never really spent any time with a Regulator who wasn't Alecki before. Or any regulator all, really. They answered to his dad. Whatever else they did, Jared never questioned, never needed to. But now here he was, having dinner with a regulator commander, who was unfolding a crazy story about some kidnapped, unknown, unregistered Wilk and horrific, sadistic, sex games right here in his own city…some crazy thing that no one had ever heard of before.
"Jared, we normally wouldn't stick a claw in-whatever humans get up to is their concern, not ours. Frankly, we don’t care. But when it involves our own, we need to look into it, and if it calls for it, regulate the situation." She took a dainty nibble of the seared tuna he'd ordered for her. Jared was mesmerized, fascinated by this soft-spoken woman who was also the ruthless wolf he knew regulators could be. If someone had to die for Wilk reasons, she'd make it happen, no questions asked. Jared managed to suppress a little shudder but suddenly he wasn't quite as hungry as he'd been. Substituting beer didn't help once they'd finished dinner and he opened the first of the two folders she'd brought with her.
'It started out with some of us catching scent of odd goings on at the private club undereath the public one. No big deal, private clubs are not our concern. Sex trafficking is disgusting, but again, human concerns. Humans are very inventive where sex is concerned." Her face said something completely at odds with her mild words.
Jared took the pictures from the first folder and spread them across the table. "What…what is this?"
The picture showed an ugly room, no windows, concrete block walls…none of that really registered. The focus of the picture was a naked human bent over a…Jared wasn't sure what it was. A heap of limbs, naked skin, and patchy fur. "Is it a dog?" The crouching animal was wrapped in chains, lots of bright, shiny chains. "I know they do that sometimes…" he shook his head. They could really be strange about sex, humans.
Annella's lip curled, sharp, white teeth gleamed in a bitter half-smile, her nails popping little pinpricks in the tablecloth. "Er, sorry, Gamma. It's-no, not a dog. I know these photos aren't the best, but it's a boy in transition sickness. Though the victim looks older than is normal to experience transick."
Jared blinked and saw that yes, the shape was rather bigger than most dogs…and now he saw the arms, the legs that made it impossible for the shape to be canine or human.
She went on, "What that means is that these particular humans have solid knowledge about us. Someone's been stupid," she snarled. "One of my own, to be precise, was involved in this…vicious game of theirs."
"Well," Jared started; coughed when his voice broke…the pictures were horribly disturbing. "This is twisted, really bone-in-throat twisted, but. Humans do find out. We know Human/Wilk isn’t totally rare, after all. And some Wilk might…prefer humans." Miraculously, he didn't flush like a heat-sign addled twelve year-old. "Not that this looks in the least bit voluntary."
"Even if it was, we all know there's no way to interrupt a shift and you can't create transickness. I can't imagine what they did to trap this Wilk between like this-such a thing is just. Not. Possible. You know, the danger here isn't the knowledge of us getting out. It's what these pictures say they seem able to do, some kind of…of…alchemy."
Jared snorted. Right. Because *magic* was possible….
She growled softly, shaking her head as she did. "The informant was a member of the club-and one of my regulators. Was one of my regulators. He claimed the young man wasn't Wilk. Said he didn't smell like any pack he knew, or feel like pack. In fact, he was persistent in insisting that young man wasn't pack, and therefore he'd done no wrong and should be exempt from judgment." She huffed, and even from across the table Jared could feel her disgust.
"He said that despite…touching…the man, he couldn't feel even a whisper of a link with him, and that was proof he wasn't Wilk, but it's highly likely that the young man was brain-damaged. Possibly injured from being…" Her voice faded into silence. Her grimace told Jared more than he wanted to know.
"Abused," Jared murmured. Worse and worse. Being trapped, assaulted, and as if that wasn't enough, not even able to communicate…he shuddered. "This regulator…was he excused?"
"No. Of course this boy is pack. What else could he be? My regulator failed in his sworn duty to protect the pack. He was allowed to bring us this information in return for his separation from the pack being quick and…as painless as possible. We'd never even have known, but for a couple of wolves looking for a place to mingle, who smelled something was up and did the right thing by alerting us."
She scowled angrily and Jared made a mental note not to ask what happened to the ex-regulator. By the sound of further ripping of his tablecloth, the separation between that regulator and his pack hadn't been as civilized as she made it sound.
"We need to root out this group and destroy them. This can't be a risk to us. I would have come to you soon enough with this information, Pad Gamma-Alpha Alecki, out of respect, because this region is Alecki and we're stepping over your lines."
Jared nodded. "I'll also bring this matter to Gram and Dad-erf, I mean the PadAlecki Alphas…I'm seriously out of practice. The PadAlecki Alphas appreciate the courtesy, Stas Annella."
He sighed when Annella slid the last folder across the table to him. Jared forced himself to look through more frightening pictures. "It's just so weird that the kid doesn't ever seem to shift past this stage here," Jared said. "Even in transick, it eventually happens."
"I don't know…the pictures you saw before were taken for…not for information, actually. They concentrate on just that…that one thing. The pictures in this folder were taken to illustrate his shift-or attempt to shift. You can tell they’ve drugged the young man to keep him pliant." She shuffled through the few photographs before snagging the one she wanted. "Here, you can see what I mean."
Jared took the picture from her. He stared at it, tilting it this way and that, waiting for it to make more sense, but no matter the angle, it didn't change.
It was plain to see that the half-shifted wolf-human was Jensen.
Jared was mildly surprised at how calm he was. Here he was, strangely experiencing no reaction at all to seeing his beautiful neighbor with his body distorted, pulled out of shape until it was something horrific, neither human nor wolf. He couldn't comprehend that this was the love of his life, this creature pinned down like a lamb for the slaughter. Trapped, chained, assaulted and…and raped. There was obviously no question of consent-Jared could tell that Jensen hadn’t been able to hold his head up, let alone stand on his own.
The next picture in the set showed a slightly more transitioned Jensen, fur a little thicker, sporting snout and teeth and pointed ears. His arms were out-stretched, claws extended from still human-looking hands; he looked like he was trying to dig his way into the concrete under him. Worse, he was bound up in some sort of bridle, reins, muzzle kind of thing that kept Jensen's head immobile. It was obvious that it hurt Jensen from the way his lips were curled, blood darkening the fur on his face. And the man gripping the muzzle thing, pulling Jen's head up…he recognized that man, too. Kane. An expression Jared could barely describe as a smile creased his face.
Jensen…Jensen's eyes, even more impossibly green than they were when Jensen was human…they were beautiful, even clouded with fear and hopelessness…they stared into Jared's soul. They called to him.
Jared carefully laid the pictures down. Calmly said, "I know that man. He lives down the hall from me. But…he's not Wilk. I mean, he's no pack I've ever scented before."
"PadAlecki, you must be confused. He has to be a member of some pack…unless what they've done has marred his scent. And if he lives a normal life as well as being this, this, thing…then maybe he's not as much a victim as we're thinking." Her eyes went hard. "We still go after him, regardless if he chooses to be this or not."
Choose to be this…could Jensen have chosen this? A hot wave of nausea bulldozed him; he swayed in his chair before standing abruptly. "Excuse me."
Annella nodded, brown eyes sympathetic but puzzled.
Some distant, unconnected bit of Jared was vaguely pleased he made it to the bathroom and got his face over the toilet before letting go. Everything he'd eaten in the last-twenty years, felt like-came up again.
Jensen. Just…what the fuck? Why would he let such a thing happen to him? How? Did he want it-what looked like coercion sometimes wasn't, Jared knew that, but this. This thing was-they were fucking him. And he was mostly not even human in those pictures and they were....
Jared threw up again and again, until his throat was raw and he heard Annella tapping on the door, soft voice questioning, "Gamma? Gamma Alecki, are you okay? Is there anyone I can call?"
"I'm-I'm okay. I'll be out, just give me a minute."
He wasn't okay; he really, really wasn't okay. Something was terribly wrong with Jen, and he had no idea what to do about it, how to help. Plainly, Jensen wasn't Wilk. He couldn't be. The evidence of his nose told him that, his body told him Jensen wasn't Wilk. But…there was something about Jen. Jared absolutely felt a connection of some kind to him. This thing-if Jensen was some form of wolf, it almost made sense, the way he felt so strongly about the man after so little time. Almost.
Jensen wasn't Wilk, but he was wolf. Wolf…changing, turning, fur growing, Jen turning into something unbelievable, something…"Holy. Fuck. Holy-FUCK."
"Oh Fen, no, no. That's not even…that's not possible. " He fell back against the bathroom wall and ground the heels of his hands into his eyes until red explosions bloomed. Imagined what it must be like for the humans who find out that Wilks exist, who have their entire idea of what was true and what wasn't tipped on its head. Figured it must be as horrible as what he was going through now. He mentally apologized to all decent humans everywhere. Because as crazy as it seemed there was only one possibility left. And that was, werewolves were real.
No one had to tell him how crazy that was, but fuck, his nose had been trying to tell him for months. Fucking werewolves were fucking real.
Fenrir's bloody jaws. If he wasn't actually fucking nuts, and Jensen really was some fucking creature out of a cub's campfire story, than how the fuck did they deal with this?
He grabbed a paper cup from the dispenser on the sink, crushed a couple before his shaking hands cooperated with him. Rinsed the taste of sick from his mouth and scrubbed his face, trying to make it a little less obvious, that along with the puking, he'd been in the bathroom crying like a little girl.
He took a few deep breaths and steadied himself against the sink. He was pretty sure about one thing, at least. If he let the PadUch regulator take Jensen, they'd figure it out what he was-and he knew in that case, he'd never see Jensen again. No pack was going to let him go…and leaving it to the regulators, who put pack safety above all else...who's to say they might not decide Jensen was a danger to pack in some way?
"Okay, plan, come up with some kinda plan…" He needed help. What he needed was his family. No one outside of Alecki could know what Jared thought was going on with Jensen…because without his family on board, he had no chance of protecting Jen.
+
The trip back home flew by-he had Jensen on his mind this time, plus worry about explaining to his family, worry about getting help.
Jared headed for the public space of the ranch home, past the library and Gram's office, past Mom's office and into the grand meeting room. He slid through the double doors, sat quietly down at the rear of the room. Dad and Gram were at the long table up at the head of the room. Files were spread over the table top, in order of importance. June sat at Dad's side, furiously scribbling, Mom stood behind Gram. Jeff sat at the end of the table, his expression set in "thoughtful and considering." He was probably thinking about soccer.
"-and the resort ranch out there on the west side, Rolling Rocks, reports some wolf predation. Thanks, Bart, for bringing this to our attention."
Gram nodded. "I did look that report over, but what's here is not outside what we'd factored in as soon as we got word the OneEye pack was drifting close to our boundaries."
"Yes, Alpha Sophia." Bart Pahucki, Rolling Rock's ranch foreman, stood and bobbed his head in respect. "We're seeing that it's one wolf out of that pack. Can't tell whether the juveniles are trying to move in or if OneEye wants to expand her territory-"
"Nope. They can't cross our lines. I get it if the cattle wander over but. No. we have to step up Pee Patrol," Gram said, and Jared thought it was a credit to his gram's strength that no one giggled. Except for Jeff, faintly, when he caught Jared's eye. Pfft. Pee. Jared fought the grin off his face.
The envelope in his hand rustled and the grin died. It reminded him just what his business was today. Dad was saying, "-Bart, maybe we should just kill the wolf and be done."
Bart nodded and sat. Gram shrugged. "We'll see. So, if business is done…" everyone shifted on their chairs, their expressions all saying, please Fen' no one say a word. There was a barely audible, general sigh of annoyance when Jared stood and coughed lightly. "Alpha Gerald, Alpha Sophia, I'd like to speak to you. Privately." He ignored the quiet ripple of relief that spread through the cousins.
"Well, 'course, son, we're about to have lunch up on the patio-"
"No, sir, Alecki business, sir."
Jeff turned a surprised eyebrow on Jared and jerked his head. Jared nodded; sure, Jeff deserved to hear it too.
Gram dismissed the pack and gestured, they followed her into the inner office.
"Okay, Sweetie-paws, what's up?"
"Gram." Jared frowned. "Last night, I was visited by the PadUch regulator, Annella Sancsal." He spoke over their questions. "She was mannered, asked for an audience with the Alecki Gamma-Alpha and gave me these pictures. Here." He pulled the pictures out and spread them across the table. They each grabbed one. Jared watched them as they looked and saw the minute they caught on. Confusion, then horror flooded each face.
"That's not transick. What the hell am I looking at?" Dad asked.
Jeff dropped the photo he held. "Is this a whataya-callit? A photomanip? Or a still from a movie? Not very funny, Jared." He sounded bewildered and angry.
Gram was silent, staring at the photo. She grabbed them all up and fanned them across the table, her tiny hands spreading them wide. She sniffed, backed away from the table and shifted, the dress she forget she was wearing split down the back. Jared, whose boy is this? What's happening to him? her upset was so extreme, even without being furred, they heard her through the link. Her muzzle crinkled and showed all her teeth, from fangs to molars. She scraped her tongue repeatedly against her front teeth, horror in every aspect of her stance. She forced the Wilk back, stalked back and forth across the room, her little feet slapping against the terra cotta tiles. "This is not possible-this creature-this can't be."
Dad snapped, "Of course it's not. What game are you playing, Jared Tristan?"
Jared whispered, "That's…that's the human, the one I lo-like. Jensen Ackles. Turns out, he's not quite human after all. He's…some kind of wolf, too I think."
"A wolf? Hell no it ain't," Dad snapped, "That's not a Wilk. That's not…well, it just can't be real." He shook a little, forcing himself to keep from involuntarily shifting the way his mother had. "I don’t understand that. And these other pictures, they're just filthy…if this is for real, how could you even bring yourself to be with a creature like that?"
"Oh my…fuck it all, Dad! Do you think that's voluntary, what's happening here?" Jared swept the pictures off the table. "It’s rape-it's coercion, fuck, in half these things he's not even there! He's drugged up or chained, or…or…" Jared stopped as he remembered Jensen's attitude when talking about Kane. Gasped out, "Or thinking he has to do this."
"What?"
"This guy." His finger speared the image of Chris helping Jensen out of an empty cell. "He's Jen's…his friend, so Jen thinks. But he's the head of this thing. The information they have…makes it plain that this guy has got to be calling the shots. Look how he has him, leashed and all, he's Jensen's handler, that's what."
"Where in name of Fenrir would this…handler guy get an idea like this? This is terrible. Your friend looks…" Jeff shuddered. "And he changes into a wolf? Like a Wilk?" Jeff asked.
Jared nods. "I don't think he changes into a wolf. I think this is as far as it goes. Like…Lon Chaney? Like that movie, that one with the freaky looking half-dog things-"
"Underworld, Lycan or something, piece of crap movie?" Jeff helpfully provided.
"Right. Yes. The Uch regulators were looking at it as a form of transition sickness, but I think this is his natural form."
Jeff startled him by snorting loudly. "Nothing natural about that shit."
"Jeffy-hush. So." Gram stood, crossed her arms over her chest and growled, "Jared Tristian Alecki Pad Gamma. Fenrir's blood, are you trying to tell us that the boy is a damn WEREWOLF?" She looked so incredulous, her eyebrows perched high on her forehead. Jared stared at her, his mouth bobbled….
"But…but…Gram! We shift! We turn into wolves!"
"Well, that's…that's biology. He's…that's some kind of…supernatural thing. It's not possible. It's not normal!"
The office was silent for a moment-and then Jeff said, "Well if it’s not normal, it's not his fault, right? Don't the stories go like that?"
Jared stared at Jeff. Since when was his big brother the voice of reason? "How did it happen?" Jeff asked.
"How should I know? I guess…well, I imagine he must have been…bitten by a werewolf." Jared felt a ridiculous flash of embarrassment, quickly overcome with horror at himself and sadness for a poor confused kid who never had a chance at normal.
"Does he know-?" Gram poked one of the photos-it shot off the table and fluttered to the floor.
Jared shrugged. "I think…yes. Maybe. Things he said when he talked about his friend, Kane. Plus he has this air about him like he's carrying a weight, something bad. It makes him sad, Gram." He jerked his chin towards the pictures.
Jeff shook his head. He looked up at Jared. "Werewolves. Does that mean…vampires are real, too? And Bigfoot?"
"What the fuck, Jeff, I don’t know!"
"A werewolf. What in the world. Well, you bring him here, Jared. You take care of this problem and bring the boy here to us. We'll look into it, take care of him-" she tsked and waved Jared's shocked protest off, "-like a cub, you fool. If he needs it." She picked one of the pictures up again, turning it this way and that. "You know, he almost looks like one, a cub I mean…it's in the eyes," she said and Jared's heart warmed. Gram understood, he should have know, out of everyone, Gram would get it.
"Kane has him locked up, Gram. Literally and figuratively. No way he's going to let Jensen go. And no way is he going to keep his mouth shut about us. He's a bad trick."
His grandmother looked towards his dad. Dad frowned-scowled really; face like thunder-but he nodded and Gram turned back to Jared. "I'm not talking about bringing that Kane cowpat here. He can't know about us. But we can't leave a cousin like that-even if he's a distant one. Even if he isn't one, he's some type of wolf. We need to hunt that problem to the conclusion."
They all muttered agreement and took a moment to regroup. Jared's dad sighed like his lungs were being pressed closed by a weight unimaginably heavy. "I want to speak to the PadUch regulator. I want to make it clear that this problem needs to be hunted down, let her know she has our official permission to track where she wants. I also want to make it plain to her that since she's on PadAlecki lands, she tracks with our regulators."
Gram growled softly in agreement. "Our regulators will have some special orders she needn't be privy to. I'll let her know once the Jenensen is in our hands, he's our concern only."
"Ah, it's Jensen, Gram, just, y'know, Jensen."
"What-Jay-Jay, why are you standing here nit-picking instead of howling up my orders?"
Jared leaped up and hustled towards the door. "I'm on it, Alpha," he called over his shoulder.
Jeff followed Jared out to his car. "Do you want me to go with, little brother?"
"Nah, thanks, Jeff. I can handle this. I'll keep in touch, though."
Jeff looked at Jared in a way he never had before. He looked fond, and that was familiar, exasperated and a little amused, that was a look Jared knew well. What was different-incredibly different-was that Jeff looked proud as well. Jared was surprised. What had he done to rate a look like that?
"Jared, dude…this is something else you're undertaking here. It's kind of a big deal. Planning how to get this guy out…and you know the minute you step out with those guys, you're in charge. You're the Alpha, man."
"Oo-kaay," Jared drawled, wondering if there was a point to Jeff's babbling. He flinched just a little bit when Jeff's hand landed on his shoulder-couldn't help it, not after years of noogies delivered with those huge, solid hands.
"Little brother, you may never have to be alpha of the pack, but I'm relieved to know that if you had to, you'd step right up. And just so you know, Gram's not the only one to think you'd be a great one, Jared. I think so too."
Jared blushed. It felt good to have Jeff tell him that. Not that he needed to have his brother rub his ears, but it felt damn good.
Right up until Jeff pounced on him, cramming Jared's head under his armpit and scrubbing knuckles through Jared's hair. He let go and jumped away from Jared, laughing when he cursed and swung wildly at him. "Go on, Jay-collect your pack, boy. Go and get your mate."
"Jensen-Jensen's not my mate, dude-"
"Tchah. Bring him home so Mom and Gram can fuss over him. Shit, this guy doesn't even know, he's gonna be belly-rubbed and fussed over within an inch of his life-"
Jared punched him in the arm. "Hey, he's not a cub and neither am I."
"Oh, I know…that's why I said mate, instead of buddy." He winked.
"Oh, Fen-I'm leaving now, leaving embarrassing brothers behind me," Jared yelled as he sprinted towards his car, grinning all the way.
+
Jared stood outside of Jensen's apartment, gathering his strength. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Jensen opened it with a smile, but frowned at the expression on Jared's face. "Hey, Jared…come in?"
Jared stepped in and sure enough, the smell that was Jensen and something else was stronger, something Jared realized he'd been scenting whenever it came close to the full moon without realizing it. "I need to speak to you, Jensen."
"Sure? Sit down? I can get you a beer or something-" he started to turn, but Jared stopped him.
Jared shook his head, and Jensen noticed the mailing envelope in his hand. "Oh. Did our mail get crossed again?"
Jared shook his head; he slowly pulled the least explicit picture from the envelope, and reluctantly held it out to Jensen. "What can you tell me about this?"
"What's that?" Jensen asked, his forehead wrinkled in puzzlement. He leaned over the photo in Jared's hand and his face went a chalky-white. "It's-it's ah-it's a screencap of some horror movie…are you…you…."
"No. No, it's not." Jared shook his head. "You know about this. You let it happen. You know what's going on in this-this--Jensen."
Jared felt like he was calling to Jensen across a canyon, like Jensen was flying away from him. Jensen backed quickly away but Jared followed, the pictures shaking in his hand. "It is you, isn't it, in different stages of your change…and Kane, this son of a bitch standing over you, buckling you into this…this fucking thing-" Jared flung a picture at Jensen, one of him with his mouth gaping around a metal bar, leather straps wrapped and buckled around his wolfish head. "I know it's you. I know these are real."
"Okay. Yes. Fine-now you know what I really am. A goddamn freak, a monster." Jensen grabbed the picture up and crumbled it in a tight grip against his chest. His head was shaking, shaking, "But-you don't get what's happening, you can't understand it. It's not what you think, Jared. I have to. I owe Chris. Fuck I owe him everything."
"Owe him what? What the fuck, Jensen! How do you owe Kane anything like this? This is rape, torture…this is…for Fenrir's blood, you don't owe him anything like this, no matter what he did for you. Let me show you, Jen. Let me take you away from that horrible pit. I have family, they can help…I'll keep you safe, I promise."
Jensen's eyes went wide, he raised a hand to his throat, wiped it across his mouth. Nodded.
Jared let go a small sigh of relief. Jensen was hearing him, Fen'sjaw, he was listening…Jared started to smile, to reach out for him, but Jensen backed up, out of reach.
Distress leached out of Jensen's face, leaving it blank as a china doll's, and then, an ugly mix of emotions rippled across it. A cold, sneer settled on his features, twisted his mouth and that expression shot through Jared like a kick to the chest.
Jensen stopped moving when the back of his legs hit a desk. All the tension in his body seemed to melt away; he leaned back against the desk with his legs spread in lazy, open sprawl. His hips tilted up suggestively, an invitation that in any other circumstances would have had Jared vibrating in anticipation. But at this moment, Jensen's knife sharp smile, his pose, just broke Jared's heart-smashed it to bits and all the pain he felt was for Jensen.
"Oh, I see." Jensen smirked, licked his lips. Not so much sexy, Jared thought, as nervous-frightened even-and trying to cover it. "So, Jared, is this where you take your shot now? Come on, do it-I won't fight you. I never fight it. Or wait; do you want the full experience? A few more days, Jared, that's all. Then all your fantasies become real-or you can do this-"
Jensen reached over the desk, yanked open a drawer. He threw Jared a pair of shiny handcuffs. Jared smelled the bitter, acidic smell that he'd been smelling all this time-stronger. Biting. There was a smell of singed meat as well…Jensen's fingers were red, a small blister was already puffing up on the tip of one.
"What is this, Jensen?"
"Silver; don’t act like you don't know."
"Silver, oh my Fen-all at those chains, the way you were striped all over with burns-"
"Lots of clients like that, that it burns me. Makes me weak. They use the cuffs, or the cat with silver tips or…the chains, always the chains. And the muzzle…Come on, Jared. Silver still hurts, not as much as when I've changed but." His hand went up to a couple of angry red bumps Jared could just see peeking out of the collar of Jensen's on his chest…more burns? Jared growled. They looked like brands. Kane, trying to mark Jared's boy? Fucker…."
"Silver burns all the time, Jared," Jensen muttered, rubbing the brands. "Burns all the time…."
"I don't understand. How are you-"
"This thing? Sixteen, Jared-I was living on the street, doing whatever I could to survive that didn't involve selling my ass. Laid down to sleep under the street one night, in one of those big sewer drain openings. I woke up with an animal trying to rip my throat out-so I thought. It bit me, it chewed right into my shoulder, ripped right into the muscle and I'd have bled out if it wasn't for Chris. I thought, for once in my life, something had gone in my favor. Until..."
Jensen stopped, drew a deep shaky breath. Jared tried to get close to him but he backed away, hands out, shaking his head, "No, let me get this out, Jared. Until the full moon came and I changed. And suddenly all the myths and stories and tales about werewolves became research and guidelines." Jensen shrugged, gave Jared a smile that went all sideways and wobbly.
"So, Chris patched me up. Treated me with what he said were herbal teas, some shit he learned from his grandma-god, it tasted like ass, but it kept me going." He looked up at Jared, tried to laugh but it faded, and he went on, his voice going lower and lower as he talked. "I'd lost a lot of blood, y'know? Anyway, he did that, and kept me from killing myself. More importantly, he kept me from killing anyone else."
"You wouldn't, your heart is too good, you couldn't," Jared insisted.
Jensen went on as if Jared hadn't spoken. "The first time it happened…it didn't seem that bad, you know? The change didn't hurt so very much the first time; I could still feel bits of me, even though…" Jensen looked puzzled, lost in memories…he blinked, and focused again on Jared. Jared tried to smile, encouraging Jensen to go on. He did.
"You have to understand, Jared, Chris kept me safe, kept me from being more of a monster than I already am. Showed me how to contain it. This thing I do for him-tell me how that's worse than killing someone?
And you're wrong about my 'heart being too good'. Chris showed me-he showed me the mangled body of some street kid I killed. I tore him apart like…like paper. Chris saved me from being that kind of monster ever again. And then he explained how when I was in that state, there were ways to keep me from killing again, along with the herbs, the silver..." he jerked his chin towards the pictures . Shrugged. "Chris explained there was one other, best way to keep the monster in check-sex, violence. Turns out it's a good substitute for blood-lust. I…mostly don’t remember when it happens. And it helps Chris. I don’t much mind."
"He's fucking prostituting you, Jensen!"
"Don't be stupid, Jared. It's nothing compared to...it's just a way to pay the bills. I heal. Chris takes care of me, I told you. He…he loves me. I mean, you know, he cares about me."
Jared dropped the cuffs and rubbed his hand against his pants leg. He felt slimy just touching them. He couldn't deal with what they represented, couldn't stand that Jensen had them in his apartment. Fuck, he couldn't deal with Jensen, just standing there, like his life was fine and what was happening to him meant…nothing. Fen!
Jared's eyes were burning; his throat ached from trying to hold back tears, fuck that, hold back-screams. He tried to take a calming breath, but he shocked himself with the force of the sob that broke through his hold…he blinked and hot tears ran over, streaked down his cheeks.
"Jared, no, no, don't. I swear, I'm not worth you tearing yourself up like this. Fucking face it, I'm a thing, I'm a monster. Best thing for you to do is run, far as you can get. Because if I hurt you…if I hurt you, Jared, I don’t know what I'd do."
At Jensen's words, another hot, deep sob shook Jared, made his chest feel like it was full of rocks. And he kept fucking crying, he just couldn't stop. "It's not supposed to be like that, Jensen. It's not supposed to be like that." His head dropped and he gave into the pain he felt for Jensen. His beautiful Jensen, so lost and alone….
Jensen hesitated-slowly reached out to pull Jared close. "Jared, don't, please don't."
Jared wrapped himself around Jensen and tried to stop sobbing, but it hurt so much. To be trapped like that, never know how good it was to be touched by someone who cared. He threw his arms around Jensen and took deep, shaky breaths. "I'm sorry, he mumbled into Jen's shoulder. "But you're not a monster, Jen. You're just-different."
Jensen stroked his neck, drew his fingers slowly through Jared's hair, petting him. He laughed softly, bitterly. "Different is putting it mildly. You have no idea, Jared. Please don't cry-hell, not for me, I'm fine." He kissed Jared's forehead, pressed kisses on his cheek.
Jared whimpered and reached out for Jensen. "I want to be with you, I want to take care of you…"
"Yeah," Jensen sighed. "I wish you could take care of me, too."
"I could, my family could. We're probably the only ones who can, Jensen. We're not the same, you and I, but we're not entirely different. We call ourselves the Wilk and…well, this is what we Wilk are." He pulled gently out of Jensen's arms and Jensen wrapped his arms around himself, as if the loss of Jared made him cold. He was shaking, minute little tremors that Jared could barely see. He smiled at Jensen.
"Look." He yanked his t-shirt up over his head and dropped it-shaking his hair out of his face, giving Jen a tiny smile. He toed off his shoes and socks, unbuttoned his jeans and shoved them down, snagging his boxers too. He heard Jensen's breathing hitch and speed up, not in a good way. He looked up at Jensen, who looked like he was one short step from freaking out completely. Because, yes, he had a totally nude man in his living room…understandable.
"J-Jared. I thought you said you didn’t want…"
"Oh, no, Jen, no-it's okay. I'm just gonna…" Jared took a deep breath, hoped for the best, and shook the fur out. The first thing he registered was Jensen's scent going off the charts, fear mostly. His breathing rate shot up as well, his chest was working like a bellows. Jared tried sending him calming thoughts, but it was like hitting a brick wall. It wasn't at all like trying to link to a human; instead of a fuzzy dead spot in his head, he was slamming against concrete block. He whined, crouched to the floor and froze there-with any luck, Jensen would come to him.
Slowly, slowly Jensen's heartbeat slowed, his breathing calmed the longer Jared stayed in that one spot. Taking a chance at moving, he carefully wagged the tip of his tail. The result shocked Jared-it was not what he was hoping for.
Jensen's voice was cracking with horror, fear, and such…such sorrow. He was terrified for Jared…"Jared, oh my god. You were bitten too…oh my god, you should have told me. We could have, Chris could have…"
Hearing that fucker's name set Jared off-he couldn't bite down the deep, rumbling growl that rolled out of him. Jensen didn't flinch back, though, he reached out to Jared, "Oh, god, no-not that, not like me, I wouldn't let that happen to you. You don’t deserve my life…you're a good person."
Damn it Jensen…fucking with my heart like this… Jared crawled slowly towards him; the tip of his tail sweeping back and forth, his huge ears laid back as he tried to channel as much of his inner pup as possible. Oh yes, he had full knowledge how deadly his eyes could be-Gram and Mom and Jeff complained about the puppy eyes endlessly, but gave in all the same. He whined, and blinked, and wiggled at Jensen mercilessly. Prayed for Fenrir's blessing, hoped like hell that Jensen would fall victim to the puppy face as well.
"Jared, that's…that's what you are? Because, you don’t look anything like me. You're. God, you're beautiful; you have the most amazing eyes…" Jensen wobbled, dropped to a sprawling seat on the floor. "…oh gosh. They're. They're your eyes, only…more," Jensen breathed. His eyes softened, his scent shifted from bitter and medicinal to that wonderful smell Jared had first fallen for-pine needles, hay. Caramel. Jared watched the last bit of fear drain from Jensen's face. He smiled, held out a hand to Jared. "Come on, then. Come here."
Jared wiggled forward, his tail practically a blur. He wiggled closer and closer until his nose was touching Jen's cheek and then, slowly, tentatively he swiped his tongue across Jen's perfect cheekbone. Jared whined happily. This was a fucking dream come true, Jensen tasted as sweet as he smelled, felt like velvet under his tongue. He lapped and whimpered and Jensen laughed lightly. It was wonderful, it made Jared's heart soar, and then the mood shifted, darkened.
Jensen threw his arms around Jared's neck, buried his face in the thick fur of Jared's ruff. He gripped handfuls of fur and hung on tight-Jared bore that slight pain as Jensen cried into his fur. "Jared…why am I a monster and you're so beautiful? Why…why aren’t I this way?"
Suddenly a startled Jensen had a lap full of naked Jared, and Jared felt bad about that, he really did, but right now he needed his human arms and his human speech. Jensen had to know, right now.
"No, but you are, Jensen. So what if you don’t look like me? You’re still beautiful. To me." He kissed Jensen's temple, pressed his nose against it and breathed deep, happy that he could do this, drink in the scent he'd follow to the ends of the earth.
They sat that way a long time, it seemed. Jared's concentration was split between feeling just how damn good Jensen felt pressed up against his chest, and struggling to keep from getting sprung-he very much doubted that Jensen would be pleased to deal with his erection along with…well, everything else.
Jensen never seemed to notice that he had a huge, very naked man wrapped around him like kudzu. He cupped Jared's face, stared into his eyes. "Such beautiful eyes, even when you're not you, Jared."
Jared wanted to protest, explain that the wolf was him, maybe more so than the human side, but he was distracted by the way Jensen was licking his lips, biting that plump, delicious lower lip just like Jared wanted to.
"Jared…it's been a long time, a terribly long time. Would you mind, would you…kiss me? Please?"
What? Oh! What-?Jared almost slipped off Jensen's lap with surprise. He even had to ask? Like Jared might say no? "Damn, Jensen, yes of course, I'd love to, why wouldn't I, I've wanted…I…" he stopped babbling, cradled the back of Jensen's head in his hand, coaxed Jensen close enough to kiss. Not the filthy wet, deep, soul kiss he desperately wanted, craved, after all this time. He took a quick breath and smiled at Jen. Pup paws, he thought. one step at a time, slow and steady….
He was careful, barely brushing his mouth against Jensen's. Jensen still jerked like Jared had dropped a live wire on him, froze in Jared's arms, his eyes wide and glazed with fear.
Fuck! Jared knew he'd pushed too hard, he should have-
Suddenly, Jared was in a whirlwind made of Jensen's arms and legs and mouth, peppered with desperate kisses and Oh fuck, oh fuck…. Jensen ripped off his shirt, and wrestled his pants to his knees. Jared gasped at the touch of bare skin against skin. A little lick of sadness whisked through his head before he gave in to the raw wave of lust that punched right through him. This wasn't the way he'd imagined it…he'd imagined laying Jensen down on his bed, seducing him, convincing him to take this step…but he wasn't about to let that fantasy stop this. He didn't think Jensen would let him at this point. Fuck, Jared was pretty sure he couldn't stop now. He was breathless, dizzy from being dragged along in the riptide of Jensen's need. He heard everything Jensen didn’t---couldn't-say, out loud; how much he'd longed for real contact, how afraid he'd been to reach out. How much he fucking needed this.
Jared tried to guide Jensen's explosive reaction, gentle him somewhat. He managed to cup Jen's face and tilt it up to his. Jared caught Jensen's mouth and swallowed his long, agonized moan. He was overwhelmed by Jensen's desperate need for contact-he was drowning in the feel of Jensen's skin and his smell and the very heat of him. Jared's tongue slid against Jensen's in a soft but steady rhythm, rubbing lightly against the roof of his mouth, against his adorably flat teeth, the tender inside of his lip, like velvet….
Slow and steady… He didn't push, he didn't want to take more than Jensen wanted to give. But his lips, so pretty, so full and sweet and pink, flecked here and there with Jensen's sexy little freckles….
He huffed a soft laugh, and when Jensen protested, he licked his way down Jen's neck, sucked and licked, over and over, teasing a bit and enjoying it too much-until Jensen grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked him backwards. "Grrr, stop teasing," he snarled and Jared's dick twitched, begging for attention.
The sound Jensen made when Jared's dick moved against his bare skin was part moan, part whine and maybe a little cursing, too. Jared laughed into his mouth, and Jensen growled-pressed against Jared, nipped and licked and basically attacked his mouth, cupped Jared's dick and groaned.
slow, steady-pffft! Jared approved whole-heartedly. Eventually, they both had to breathe, and lips parted with a slick pop. Jared smiled at Jen-he felt proud of him, taking what he wanted. He kissed Jensen's cheek-and then dove back in; sucking on his tongue, his lower lip…he scraped teeth, gently licking over the path his teeth had taken. Fuck, he was getting hard, rubbing his dick against Jensen's. Yes, damn it, he wanted it, wanted everything.
"Wait, wait Jared," Jensen gasped. "Please." He pushed Jared-not hard, but gently insistent.
Jared instantly jerked away from him, mouth trying to form apologies. Jensen just smiled, dropped to his knees, and pushed forward into the vee of Jared's legs. Jared shuddered and cursed between tightly clenched teeth as Jensen licked a wide, hot, wet stripe up Jared's dick.
"Like that?" he murmured and licked him again, up and over the crown, teasing the slit a little. Jared looked down, wide-eyed and just a little flustered.
So, granted, something like this hadn't remotely been on his mind when he confronted Jensen, but Fen's blood if it wasn’t the best thing ever in the whole fucking world, and the best fucking thing that had ever happened to him in…in. Ever.
He arched off the bed when Jensen forced the head right into his throat. Muscles spasmed-fuck--spit and precome dripped off his chin, rolling down Jared's dick to pool up where Jen's hand was wrapped around him.
"Ah, fuck, Jensen, if you don’t stop, I'm gonna come!"
"Well, yeah, that’s the point here." Jensen smirked up at him; it faded when Jared gently pushed him away. "What, did I do it wrong?"
"Fen, no, I just…wanna see you, like, all of you? Can you come up here with me-if you want to, I mean."
Jensen blushed…Jared watched it spread from his cheeks to his neck, and wanted to see that red flush spread further down his body.
They lined up, from knee to dick to chest, sweat and spit and precome smoothing the way between them. Jared squirmed against Jensen, wiggling and sniffing and licking what he could reach, like a pup. He moaned at the fucking hot way Jensen's dick slid against his, bumping over his abs, dragging through spit and slick. Every slide forward provided just enough friction to get his own dick jumping and drooling.
"Jared, Jared, feels so good. You don’t know, shit, how long it's been. You want me-you like me-"
Fuck like, he wanted to shout. I fucking *love* you-but that would be crazy and it was better to wait and-
"Oh, oh, fuck! Jen!"
He let the feeling build, threw himself wide open to it, reveled in the orgasm rushing up at him, kicking him off the edge-the explosion rushed hot and welcome over him, he arched up into Jensen just as Jensen ground down against him, sobbing with the effort of breathing and coming at once.
Eventually, reality came creeping back, much as Jared wished he could curl around Jensen and keep him there forever.
"Jared," Jensen sighed.
Jared stared at Jensen, looking for…anything. Anything off. But he sounded okay. He looked okay-"Are you okay, Jen?"
"Oh yeah, better than…" He looked up at Jared, surprise in his eyes, wonder coloring his voice. "It didn't hurt. Not once. Oh, I knew you weren't going to hurt me-well, not on purpose. I guess I just…forgot, y'know? How it could be without pain."
They were skin to skin, reclining against the headboard of Jensen's oak bed. Jared was feeling wrung-out, not entirely due to sex. Jensen's simple wonder at non-painful sex had Jared freaking on the inside…but Jensen just sighed deeply, rolled to his side and threw an arm over Jared's chest and shoved a leg between Jared's with a contented huff.
Jared could hardly get over the feel of Jensen, slick with sweat and come, glued to his side and breathing steadily, comfortably. Jared would do anything to make sure he stayed that way. He inhaled deeply, loving the way the whole place smelled of him and Jensen. Figured he'd pretty much wiped out any smell the bed had besides his and Jensen's. It made him feel like an alpha of alphas. He looped an arm over Jensen's shoulder, pulled him in a bit closer, kissed the top of his head before letting him go.
It was time.
Jared sat up because he couldn't be sprawled against Jensen, feeling him breathe, if he was about to tear his world apart. He hoped that his mate would understand, that he'd get why, and more importantly, that he'd want the out being offered to him. A chance at a whole new world, one Jared sincerely hoped would include him as well.
"Jensen…I have to tell you, my…my cousins, they're going after Kane and his friends. The Wilk know about what he's doing, and the information they have can't be left loose. One way or another, he's going to bring shit down on us…whether it's because people find out about werewolves, or find out about us. The Wilk, I mean. We're not werewolves, we're…okay, that's something I'll explain about later, too. The important thing right now is, I told my folks about this…this club thing, and they want to take him and his little circle out of the picture. "
Jensen sat up immediately, frowning. "No! You can't-"
"I'll do what I can, but Jensen…you can't keep doing this-" a horrible, little niggling thought flickered to life in his head, made his gut freeze-"you-you don't want to, right?"
"No, god, Jared, I don't. Especially now. I mean…I'd rather not do this; I hated it from the start. I told myself it was okay because I didn’t remember it, because it wasn't me, but. If there's a chance not to do that and still keep people safe, then, no, I'm done. But I don’t want Chris to be…" He shook his head. "I don’t want him hurt. It's not really his fault."
Jared was proud of himself, proud that he didn't hit the roof, that he didn't shift and take off to hunt that little fucker down and eat him right that fuckin' minute. "I think I get it. Sort of," he said as he got out of bed, calmly as he could. He dressed quickly, hoping Jensen would understand, some day, why everyone in that club had to die. Including Jensen's so-called "savior".
"Look, can you do me a favor? Please don't leave the apartment. Stay here until I get back. I'm not even going to be gone long, a few minutes, that's all. Kane won't be by for another few hours, right? So I'm going to let the regulators know what's up-shit, I'll explain that when I get back, too-then I'm gonna pick you up and take you someplace safe. We'll head out to the ranch, okay? And I'll try and…I'll try to talk to them about Kane." Jared hoped that saving Jensen from a life of horror outweighed the wrong of lying to him.
"All right. Wait-ranch? What ranch? You have a ranch?"
Jared laughed. "I'll explain everything, soon, I promise. You're going to like it, I know you will. Please tell me you'll come home with me?"
"Jared, I…yeah. Okay…if you're sure it's going to be okay with your family," he said, reluctantly.
"Oh, Jensen, they can’t wait to meet you, I swear it. It's gonna be good, just wait until I get back-ten minutes, tops."
He ran to the door. Behind him, he heard Jensen, quietly laughing.
Jared was as good as his word: he made one quick call to Jeff, then calls to Gram and his dad, explaining he was bringing Jensen tonight instead of waiting, and then he hurried back to Jensen's. Anything they needed could be had at the ranch, anything Jensen needed could be sent for. Pedroncelli could oversee that until Jared could come back to town….
"Jensen?" Jared called out. "Hey, you ready? I kind of want to hurry it up-Jensen?"
Jared froze. The place felt empty, wrong. He ran past the empty living room, kicked open the door on the empty bedroom, the empty bathroom.
Jensen was gone.
The bed was still a rumpled mess; the clothes Jensen had taken off earlier were balled up on the end of it. His closet door was open, a couple of hangers on the floor in front of it, but nothing major was missing, it seemed. The shoes he'd kicked off earlier were still on the bedroom floor.
As far as Jared could tell, nothing else had been touched. He calmed himself, and let his nose lead the way. Jensen's scent was tinged with fear, not stinking of it; just a faint whiff mixed with…excitement, a stronger smell of meat, a scent Jared was beginning to think was a signal that Jensen was close to shifting. Laced throughout was the stink of Kane, the evil little fucker. It was stronger at the bed, almost overriding the scent of Jen and himself. Jared growled, his hair struggled to stand straight up, his nails popped as he grabbed the comforter. The material shredded in his grip.
Jensen's and Kane's mingled scent was thick on the bed. The growl rolling out of Jared's throat was nearly a roar. He ripped the pillows off the bed, and heard a slither, a dry flutter, like the flick of an insect's wing. A piece of paper dropped to the floor, landed on his foot. He bent and picked it up.
It's okay. I went with Chris. Promise, I'll go with you when I come back. I owe him one last time.
The paper was smudged, wrinkled like Jensen had kneeled on it. The handwriting was barely legible, and Jared had the feeling that it wasn't because of Jensen's lack of penmanship. He suspected that Jensen must have been falling deeply into his shift. There'd been clues in Jensen's behavior all along-his defense of Kane, his insistence that Kane was unselfishly looking out for him, the submissive attitude he'd seen that day in the hallway-that led Jared to think that Jensen's dependency on Kane became stronger under the influence of the shift. Almost like…Jensen was imprinted on the little fuck.
Fur raced over Jared's arms, his body strained against the confinement of his clothes before he managed to wrestle back his rage. "Son-of-a-bitch, damn it-Fenrir's bloody-ass jaws, I'm gonna kill that cocksucker. Gonna rip him to shreds, gonna piss down his throat and eat his fuckin' liver-" Jared bit down on a howl and dropped to his knees, breathing deeply, struggling for calm.
Okay, okay…first thing to do was call his Alphas, let them know what was up, and then he'd ride along tonight with the regulators the way they'd originally planned. Maybe push the timetable up, if possible. Jared cursed himself. If only he'd moved faster, earlier. He could have had Jensen safe at home with family and not have to go through this…torment tonight.
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