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Oct 23, 2011 08:17

Some people say that we can't change who we are at our core, our personality is mapped out. Not certain I completely subscribe to this belief, but I do think its not as easy as "mind over matter" if its an ingrained part of our personalities ( Read more... )

psychology, self-esteem

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Comments 22

sdx October 23 2011, 13:17:54 UTC
I used to be really thin-skinned. Getting ganged up on, in school, by my father, etc, left me unable to take a joke (I was a little guy that was poor at a rich kid school, dad was a somewhat p and e abusive parent, esp after my mom left). I learned how to take a laugh at my own expense in the Navy (which is actually crucial, b/c if the people you serve with see that you're uber-sensitive, the wolves circle and they push the buttons relentlessly), and I'm a lot thicker skinned than I used to be.

I need more degrees of anger in my temper. I tend to get angry too easily, when a lot of it I could just laugh and shrug off, or just be annoyed. You know, like instead of degrees of anger (1, 3, 6, 9, 10) I need (1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8), so that instead of being a 7 about a situation, maybe I'm merely a 3. (make sense?)

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amadteaparty October 23 2011, 20:58:38 UTC
b/c if the people you serve with see that you're uber-sensitive, the wolves circle and they push the buttons relentlessly

Oh god, yes!

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sdx October 23 2011, 21:02:45 UTC
We did it to someone in my division too. He used to make fat jokes at me all the time.

Well one day, doing a space inspection, I found a box in the pipes, and it had his penis pump inside.

So Id make "inadequate" jokes and tell him to "go pump himself" and he'd turn 5 shades of red and start screaming "you dont go there!". So then everyone else tormented him with it.

Fucker had it coming. I was like "haha so you got fat jokes...well Ive got something better!"

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amadteaparty October 23 2011, 21:27:43 UTC
Ha! My husband is a submariner, and his division (A-gang) is known for being the worst at that sort of thing. He's outright admitted he doesn't care if someone's gay, overly religious, whatever, as long as they own it. It's the ones who react over-the-top that get messed with.

I work at the pool on base and interact with more than my fair share of awkward sub-schoolers. Every once in awhile I sense that one is extra fragile/sensitive and I worry so much about when he goes to a boat. :/

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thewebmistress October 23 2011, 13:26:39 UTC
1.) I wouldn't say I've "overcome" it, but I've definitely unlearned a lot of jealousy in the past few years. Taking a good, hard look at my insecurities and realizing that there are alternative ways of dealing with them has been incredibly freeing.

2.) I wish I could be more casual about sex. Obviously physical risks always have to be taken into account, but I wish I could feel more comfortable having sex with someone I've only known, say, a few days. I like the idea of casual sex, but in practice I find it scary because it's so tied to my emotions. I don't think having it connected to emotion is a bad thing, I just wish I could have it both ways :P

I guess it doesn't sound too undesirable, but it stresses me out, especially given the hedonistic circles I run in.

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hashishinahooka October 23 2011, 13:38:50 UTC
I agree about casual sex. For me, though, it's not emotions I worry about. I'm just not trusting of other people. I wish I wasn't so paranoid, so I could have greater access to sex.

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demiraks_world October 23 2011, 13:31:23 UTC
I'm dealing better with insecurities as well. Still struggle though.

I wish I could rid myself of my negativity. It feels SO ingrained in me, I hate it.

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sdx October 23 2011, 13:34:15 UTC
You know, there are days when my facebook just seems negative. Lots of political posts, me bitching about the roommates, etc.

So I always turn to pictures of baby otters or baby rabbits and I feel a lot less negative.

Just put some balance into it. :D

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hashishinahooka October 23 2011, 13:39:38 UTC
Oh God yes with #2.

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bonzifan October 24 2011, 02:29:29 UTC
1 was me at school. If anyone approached me I though they were a bully and told them to go away. I thought they wanted to laugh at me, and when I responded the way I did, of course I ended up with a whole crowd around me laughing at me, so the theory was backed up.

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anakngtinapa October 23 2011, 13:50:12 UTC
1. Being afraid of trying new things. Entering university changed that a lot. I'm not saying things I tried are all good, but just being unafraid to try something at least once is really good.

2. Gah. Too many things..

..or I guess that's it. My self-esteem is just really low, I rarely see anything good about myself. Always second-guessing myself.

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