Fic: Fallen (26/29)
Fallen
by Erin Griffin
Fandom: Murder In Suburbia/Imagine Me And You crossover
Pairing: Ash/Scribbs, Rachel/Lucy
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: ITV owns these characters.
Summary: When Ash falls and hits her head one rainy afternoon, she wakes up without her recent memory. What she does remember leads her to believe she is married to Scribbs, so to help her get better, Scribbs has to care for Ash as her wife, which leads to many new revelations about her partner... and herself.
Warning: This story has heavy angst, mentions of murder (duh), rape, and other unpleasant things, which is why it will only be mentioned. There is also hurt/comfort, something I don't do that much if ever in fic, so we'll see how it all works out.
Chapter 26
*I swore to myself I wouldn't do a {flashback} in this story, but I also promised that I would finish it by the new year, which only proves that my own word means nothing to me.*
Ash couldn't sleep. After another long lonely night, she'd given up altogether at around two-thirty. Though it was still dark outside and would have been for quite a while, Ash got washed up to pass the time, and dressed for the day. Afterwards, she was at a loss for what she wanted to do. There was no way she would turn the TV on, already knowing the rubbish she'd find there, and she hadn't yet found the courage to listen to her music, afraid of the lyrics- or anything really- that would remind her of the past month. As it was, just looking around the flat, she could see many of the things that they had mixed and matched inside of Scribbs' flat, constant reminders of the life Ash thought she'd led for two years. It was a life she refused to admit she missed. As she stared at the many items in the flat, remembering all their uses during that time, she began to wonder why she was still there in her flat, in that building.
After Sunday in the cemetery with Mrs. Marks, they had gone back to the building together. They'd had tea as they spoke of Toby, what Ash knew and remembered of her. Mrs. Marks was not without a story to tell about her youngest. It helped them both; Mrs. Marks needed to speak, and Ash needed to listen. The more Ash heard about Toby, the more she wondered what Toby would have been like as the feisty fifteen year old she was meant to be. Looking at Cassie had given her a clue, but Toby and Cassie were always so different in so many ways. Ash remembered the conversation she had with Mrs. Marks on Sunday:
{"I've been waiting for the day we'd meet there so I could ask you over and we could talk. I've waited for so long- almost too long- that I thought... I thought this talk might never come." Mrs. Marks started off by saying.
Ash, who had been just about to drink from her cup, paused in this, unsure how to answer. "I... wasn't ready," was all she'd come up with after a moment.
"I understand." There had been a silence between them before Mrs. Marks started up again. "It had been so nice having you around. It was safe having a policewoman living in the building, but after your friend came to get your mail and things while you were gone, I realized you wouldn't be here forever, and I knew I didn't want for you to be. Someday you'd move on, and I realized that I wanted that... for the both of us. Since then, I have tried a couple of times to leave the building, something I haven't done since... Well..." Mrs. Marks looked away as she thought, then looked back at Ash. "But I did. Today, I woke up thinking I had to give it another go. With Cassie and Fredrick by my side... I was ready. And there, Miss Ashurst, you were, right beside Toby. Now tell me, do you find it a coincidence that we 'became ready' to face this at the very same time?"}
Ash didn't have an answer for Mrs. Marks, and the woman only chuckled at her silence. Even then as she thought about it now, she wasn't sure. She'd never been the sort to believe in fate or supernatural things like that, but as she looked around the flat, she suddenly didn't feel the need to move out like she had before. She knew that if she was going to live without Scribbs- without Upy even- that she'd be able to tolerate it now, and even feel slightly content. She didn't feel bound to the flat like she had before, as if she had permission from Mrs. Marks to leave, even from Toby and Erik Kingsley themselves. She also wasn't in a rush to leave anymore. Ash told herself that she would stay put for now, but if something came up, she would look into it.
Ash looked at the small, but neatly stacked pile of papers on her dining room table, the envelopes of papers and bills she'd gone over a couple of different times already. She had made sure that what she had given Scribbs was more than fair. The brunette could still see the look on her partner's face when she'd seen the cheque and the amount Ash had written there. Going over it all again, part of her wondered if she should have given the blonde more, but that would have only added fuel to Scribbs' fire, when Ash would rather walk away completely. As it was, the DI was going to have to expect a small row the next day. Ash knew that Scribbs didn't care about the money. The blonde would have been angrier about the fact that Ash was trying to bribe her way out of the situation, to ease her guilt and humiliation somehow with money. Though Ash didn't agree that was what she was doing, she couldn't quite deny it, either. After making sure that everything was in order, Ash put the envelopes and statements away. Then she sat down again, her thoughts running wild as both Scribbs' and Sullivan's words ran through her head.
Ash was surprised, when she got to work a few hours later, to find that Scribbs had gotten there before her. When she saw the blonde's car in the car park, she froze. She had hoped to prepare herself for the confrontation with Scribbs in the time between their arrivals. She forced her shoulders straighter and her breath steadier as she finally walked inside. It took her a moment to make her way into the CID looking as composed and indifferent as ever. Ash was further surprised when she saw that Scribbs was sitting at her desk, back straight as she wrote what looked to be a report in shorthand. Seeing this, Ash wondered what case they would work on that day. As she got closer to the blonde, she noticed the chain of a necklace just above the collar of the Scribbs' shirt. She saw, as Scribbs held down the paper to keep it from moving as she wrote on it, that the DS had her wedding band on again. This made Ash's steps falter slightly, but she managed to continue on towards her own desk.
After finishing the sentence she was working on and placing its final punctuation mark, Scribbs looked up from the report. She chanced a look towards Sullivan's office, and Ash did as well. The door was closed and the lights were off. When Scribbs' eyes locked with her partner's, Ash hadn't expected to see the hope and adoration she saw there. She'd expected anger and hurt, and Ash wondered what Scribbs was planning by wearing the wedding band. Knowing that Scribbs wasn't the type to wear necklaces, Ash wondered if her own wedding band dangled from it.
Having noticed Ash's stares, Scribbs placed her hands in her pockets, ignoring the flash of memory where Sullivan had advised her to do that very thing because the wedding band WASN'T there at the time. For the first time since she'd gotten her hair cut, Scribbs wished that she'd kept it long. She knew that Ash suspected what she'd kept so close to her heart. She didn't want her partner to know just how much she was pining for her, even though it was so obvious and true. Her eyes went down to the desk in front of her before she looked up again at the brunette. "Good morning," she said tentatively, as if to test the waters with the DI. Scribbs looked ready to say something else, but held back instead.
Ash's chest felt tight when she saw that Scribbs' look didn't change. Though the brunette could see that Scribbs wasn't as broken as she'd been over the weekend, she definitely didn't shine as much as she had before Ash's fall. Ash couldn't let go of the guilt, knowing that she was completely at fault for that. "Scribbs," Ash acknowledged with a nod. The brunette didn't get it. Where was the fury she'd been expecting? When was Scribbs going to bring up the once joint account? What had happened the night before to make Scribbs look at her that way? Just what was she planning to spring on her?
"We got a call in. The body of a popular doctor was found in his car, which had run into a tree a couple of hours ago."
"Sounds like a job for Traffic," Ash said.
"His breaklines were cut, which made the constable suspect murder."
"Why didn't you call me in?" Ash asked, daring to look at her partner.
"The call only came in about twenty or so minutes ago. I figured you were on your way in already." Scribbs stood and put her jacket on. Ash was glad that she had never taken hers off. Scribbs handed her one of the pieces of paper that the blonde had been working on. She saw that they were identical, one for her and one for Scribbs.
"Why two?" Ash's curiosity forced her to ask.
"I wasn't sure if we'd be working together on this case. I wanted to keep a copy of the report to look over even if... you decided to have me work somewhere else today," Scribbs replied, her eyes looking anywhere but at the brunette.
Ash nodded, but Scribbs wasn't looking in her direction to see it. "Thank you," the DI said softly, though she wasn't sure what she was thanking Scribbs for. Her tone of voice wasn't nearly as sincere as it needed to be for Ash to thank the blonde for all she'd done for her the past month or so (not that then was the time or place for that anyway), but it was too soft and emotional to simply thank Scribbs for the paper in her hand.
Scribbs' response of 'You're welcome' was spoken in such a way that seemed to tell Ash that she was welcome to anything and everything Scribbs had done and would continue to do for her. The blonde was still unsure if she'd work with her partner that day, and if she were honest with herself, she wasn't sure if she wanted to, at least on that particular morning. Ash, on the other hand, hadn't thought about sending Scribbs off to work somewhere else, but since the blonde was making an effort to be civil after what she'd done the night before, Ash decided that she would, too. She followed the blonde to her car, which seemed to surprise Scribbs this time. Scribbs opened the door for her, and then she went to the driver's side. The silence, as well as the last scene from the previous time the two of them were in the car together, ran between them on the way to the inquiry, and though both of them felt increasingly uncomfortable, neither one of them would say anything about it.
Nearing noon, Ash was finding it harder and harder to stay calm. Every glint of daylight seemed to reflect off of Scribbs' wedding ring and into her face. Every curve of the blonde's neck invited Ash to look at the chain, her eyes always following it down to where it disappeared into skin she once knew better than she ever thought she would. It was almost enough to make her want to break her silent, temporary truce with Scribbs. The blonde never said or did anything to point to the fact that she wore both rings, but by defying her true marital status by having them on her made Ash feel as though Scribbs was somehow mocking her. Ash felt that the wedding band had no right to rest upon Scribbs' knuckle as if it'd belonged there all along. She had a feeling she knew what the blonde was trying to do, but she couldn't allow for her feelings to contradict what she knew was the right thing for Scribbs.
Part of her wanted to demand Scribbs take it off, but it wasn't really her place to do that. She knew that the reminder of the rings would only make it harder for either of them to move on, and it wasn't fair to either woman. "I need to speak with you," Ash said suddenly, making Scribbs look up from the work she had been doing on the computer for the past few minutes.
"Alright," Scribbs replied slowly. She made a couple of saves to her work and stood up, grabbing the folder she was pretty sure she was going to need, and started to walk towards the interrogation room they had argued in the day before.
"No, outside," Ash said. Scribbs would have nodded if her partner weren't already on the move with her back to her. The blonde was sure that Ash wanted to talk about either the cheque from the day before, or the wedding band on her finger. Considering the fact that she'd caught her partner staring at her ring many times that morning, Scribbs was sure that it was the latter. Though she knew that the confrontation was coming, she was surprised by how quickly Ash had cracked. Scribbs had hoped to get more of her 'case' prepared as she gathered her words in the short amount of time she knew the brunette would give her.
The two women hurried outside, and Ash right away noticed the dark clouds in the sky, no doubt foreshadowing the next few minutes between them. They made their way towards the gardens that bordered the CID, and the bench that had been dedicated to former DCI Kingsley. When she had first heard the name Erik Kingsley from Dr. Pellow in the hospital over a month ago, Scribbs had been sure she'd heard the name somewhere, and realized that all the times she's sat on that bench over the last few years at the CID, it had been there the whole time, in that garden. Now that she knew who that person was, she took a moment to really stare at the name as she thought about who he might have been. The fact that he had died in Ash's place meant that he was a special person, that he was worth remembering.
Ash's eyes traveled from the cloudy sky above them down to Scribbs' arm, where the folder was tucked tightly to her chest, and then finally over to the bench where her partner had been staring. After a few seconds of hesitation, Scribbs sat down on the bench so that she could still see the name on the plaque. She waited, looking at the clouds a few times and then at her partner. She saw Ash's foot begin to tap, creating very small thuds in the grass. Under other circumstances, she might have teased the brunette about being on the grass to begin with as she recited one of the rules back at her, but Scribbs knew that it would have been a really bad idea. Instead, she let the silence continue as her brain tried to find the words she needed to say. Finally, there was a sigh from the brunette as if she was just too tired to start an argument.
"What are you doing, Scribbs?" Ash asked after another moment.
"Ash?" the blonde asked innocently.
"Why are you wearing your- the wedding band?"
Scribbs stared at her partner, seeing how tired the other woman was. Still, the annoyance could be heard in the question. "Because I am still married," Scribbs replied simply.
"Wha-? Scribbs, that wasn't real. I'm coming to terms with that. Why are you still on about it?"
Scribbs saw how much pain Ash was in, and if she didn't have so much to prove, she would have taken the wedding band off right then and there and left it all alone just to make it right. "It's true," Scribbs insisted. She looked downwards at the folder in her hand.
"Scribbs-"
"No, I can prove it," the blonde protested, not waiting for Ash to rip into her. The brunette stared at the folder Scribbs was holding and then at the determination on the blonde's face.
"Is that what that is?" Ash asked finally, "Proof?" At Scribbs' meek nod, the DI sighed again. "Alright. Let's hear it."
"Ash-"
"But if you're wrong- which I am sure you are- I don't want to hear anything more about it, and I don't want to see the wedding bands ever again. Agreed?"
Scribbs swallowed, her cheeks sucked in slightly, and her jaw clenched tight for a moment. She had the marriage license, and she was sure that it was enough proof even without the judge's name, but she didn't know if even that would be enough to convince the brunette in front of her. She took another long moment before she finally said, "Okay."
Ash unfolded her arms to reach for the folder. Reluctantly, Scribbs handed it over. "This should be good," Ash muttered. Their fingers touched, and both women reacted, Scribbs tried to gain further contact and Ash recoiled from it. Scribbs tried her best not to look hurt by it, but she failed. Ash opened the folder. The first thing she saw was the marriage license.
"Th- The marriage license, it's real," Scribbs stammered. The brunette hesitated, as if afraid of truly seeing the Canadian seal, and then she picked it up, holding it to the light. Scribbs watched Ash's hands and face, and before the older woman could deny what she was seeing, she continued on, "You know that the seal, the watermark proves that the document is real. By Canadian law, we are married."
"I didn't sign this, even if it is real," Ash argue. "It is forged and therefore it is still false." Ash scoffed. "For all I know the signatures of the judge is also fake."
"Look in the folder. He's a real man."
"Coincidence," Ash said quickly.
"No," Scribbs countered. "Real document, real judge." She watched as Ash looked at the picture and printed pages of the man in question. "Only a handful of us know that your signature was forged- most likely by David, your signatures are so alike. To the rest of the world, we are together. According to Canadian law, we didn't need to be citizens of Canada to get married, but we do in order to get divorced, so... Until you're willing to live in Canada with me for a year, you're still my wife."
When Ash stayed silent, Scribbs went on, "And even if all that wasn't real, Ash, we were married where it counted. What was it you said to me in that first fight after your fall? 'Our marriage license may not be recognized here, but you are my wife.' Isn't that what you said?"
"Damn it, I hate when you throw my own words back at me," Ash huffed.
"Makes for the best ammo, in my experience," Scribbs replied calmly. She stood up and took a couple of steps towards Ash, who leaned back a little bit to gain some distance, but didn't otherwise move. The blonde returned the printed off pages to the folder and tucked them under painfully familiar pictures taken at Britannia Park. She looked at the two of them in the pictures and then up at Ash. "You know how I am undercover. I can't act very well, let alone enough to take this," she said, tilting the picture so that Ash could see it better. "That moment was ours, and it was the most real feeling that I have ever had in my entire life. A picture says a thousand words," Scribbs said, pointing to the image of her own face, "and every single one of them is true."
Ash suddenly stepped back, closed the folder over the picture, and handed the folder back to Scribbs. "This proves nothing more than the fact that you can give reports after all," Ash said. She turned slightly, ready to walk into the CID, but Scribbs had taken her hand and quickly moved so that she was facing the brunette again. Ash was surprised by the speed at which the blonde had moved.
"It proves," Scribbs stressed, moving so close that Ash had no choice but to remain eye to eye with her, "that I love you, that our love is more than a piece of paper and seven years of hidden truths. It proves that THAT moment was ours, and it was real. That should be the most important detail." Scribbs leaned back enough to grab the picture again, which forced her to let go of Ash. She hoped the brunette wouldn't move, and was relieved when she didn't. She twisted her wrist even as her arm remained against her chest as she showed Ash the picture. "It proves that we'll spend the rest of our lives looking for THIS, knowing that we won't find it with anybody else. I wouldn't want to," Scribbs concluded softly.
The two of them were still for a long moment. "Scribbs," Ash tried to say, but she stopped. It was as if she just couldn't speak, and the blonde could see that so much was running through her partner's mind. Finally, Ash put her hand up, turned away from Scribbs again and walked towards the building without saying anything else. This time, Ash was too quick for Scribbs to catch up to her, as she was trying to hurry after her and replace the picture at the same time.
"Kate! Kate please!" Scribbs called, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. By the time Scribbs had put the picture away and made it inside the CID, the brunette was nowhere to be seen. She went back to her desk and ran her hand through her hair as she fought back tears. "This was a really bad idea," she told herself, looking towards Sullivan's office. It was still dark. Where was he? Scribbs wanted to talk to him about the marriage license, but it looked as if he wasn't coming in that day.
Ash stood with her back against the wall in the women's bathroom of the CID. She took in a couple of deep breaths, and then let out a long sigh as a couple of tears fell. Ash's heart and Scribbs' words hammered against all of the DI's barriers. She wasn't sure how long it would take before she let them crumble completely. She was sure that Scribbs already knew this. She was so close to just letting Scribbs be right, but what she'd told Sullivan was still true, and she loved Scribbs too much to take advantage of her more than she already had. But what if, in time, the absense proved to be too much for both of them? 'In time, she'll have found a nice bloke who's truly right for her,' Ash thought to herself. The image that followed made her face scrunch up, but she told herself it was right. It was just enough to reseal any cracks in the barriers, dry her eyes, and leave the bathroom.
She was glad she had, as a DS was mid-way through briefing Scribbs on the case of Ryan Lambert, the doctor who had died that morning. So far, all of the men who'd worked on his car had no aquaintance with him before or during the time it was being repaired, and Ryan's wife, Gail, had been questioned most of the morning, so Ash and Scribbs hadn't been able to talk to her. As Ash approached the two DS', she heard enough to know that she and Scribbs could now go and speak with her. Though Gail Lambert wasn't a suspect so far, she had been one of the last people to see Ryan alive that morning, and was the best person to judge any new or sudden changes in him prior to his death.
Without words, Scribbs gave her partner a questioning glance, and Ash nodded, letting her know that they would be riding together. Scribbs thanked the other DS, hurried to put on her jacket, and then she followed the brunette out the door to the car. As they passed their colleagues, Scribbs could feel the questioning glances, knowing that they were wondering what was happening between them. Scribbs really didn't want to know what was running through the rumor mill, or just how many of them were right. The ride over was silent. It was to be expected. Every now and again, Ash would look over at Scribbs only to see her glaring at the road, whether or not anyone was actually there. When the blonde's head would jerk to the left to look at Ash, the DI would quickly look back out the window as if that had been the direction of her gaze all along.
Gail Lambert was still drying her eyes when she answered the door for them, letting them in graciously. She offered them tea, which both women accepted. They both needed something calming after the nerve-wrecking conversation/row they'd had before leaving the CID. Having just put the kettle on for herself, it didn't take long for the tea to be served and for the three of them to settle in the living room. Ash and Scribbs had gotten a few questions in during its preparation - mostly about the Lamberts' marriage in general, which seemed pretty average - and some questions about that morning before the so called 'accident' had occurred.
"One minute he's here, I kissed him goodbye. Had I known he'd be gone only a couple of hours later, I wouldn't have let 'im leave this morning."
Ash, who was sitting on one of the chairs while Scribbs sat on the sofa, looked around the house and saw pictures of the Lambert family. Ryan looked like a loving husband and father to the young boy seen in many of the pictures, which only made Ash burn to know who would want to kill him. He had to have been holding in some secret that Gail knew nothing about, and Ash was determined to uncover it. The DI was taken out of her thoughts when she heard Gail speak to Scribbs, and she saw that the woman had taken notice of the blonde's wedding ring.
"You married, too?" she asked, sounding much older than she really was, which couldn't have been any older than Ash herself.
Green eyes flickered over to the brunette, connecting for just a second as Scribbs said, "Yeah." She became self aware, and put her left hand in her pocket. Ash stiffened at this, hoping that the conversation would be left at that. The brunette wasn't sure what she'd do if it went any further than that, or if Scribbs revealed just who she'd been married to.
"Of course, you love him," Gail said.
"I love her very much," Scribbs replied.
Gail didn't seem to bat an eye or skip a beat as she took in the added information, but Ash's eyes closed tightly and opened again, unsure what to think about Scribbs outing herself. "I suggest you hold her close when you get home tonight, because you never know when you're going to lose her. And when you do... you won't know what to do with yourself." Gail's voice broke by the time she had finished her statement, and a couple more tears fell.
Scribbs looked down, and what little fringe she had fell forward from where it'd been tucked to the side. She cleared her throat and slowly put her teacup down. "Uh... I'll wait outside, I... need some air," the blonde said to Ash, not looking at either of the other women in the room.
Gail seemed startled by Scribbs' sudden exit. "I didn't mean to... Its just, losing Ryan..."
Ash took a sip from her cup, her movements slow and stiff, before she said, "She'll get over it." Her own words were a lot more harsh than she had intended, but she didn't feel the desire to take them back. She was just glad that her own voice didn't quiver or break. She took in a deep breath in a way to force herself to relax, and Gail Lambert knew then that they were about to get back to the inquiry. "Now, you said that Ryan didn't know anyone at the auto shop?"
"He couldn't 'ave. It was his first time there. We used to go to another, but we discovered this one was closer to the house and his work."
"Tell me what happened when you took the car in."
by Erin Griffin
Fandom: Murder In Suburbia/Imagine Me And You crossover
Pairing: Ash/Scribbs, Rachel/Lucy
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: ITV owns these characters.
Summary: When Ash falls and hits her head one rainy afternoon, she wakes up without her recent memory. What she does remember leads her to believe she is married to Scribbs, so to help her get better, Scribbs has to care for Ash as her wife, which leads to many new revelations about her partner... and herself.
Warning: This story has heavy angst, mentions of murder (duh), rape, and other unpleasant things, which is why it will only be mentioned. There is also hurt/comfort, something I don't do that much if ever in fic, so we'll see how it all works out.
Chapter 26
*I swore to myself I wouldn't do a {flashback} in this story, but I also promised that I would finish it by the new year, which only proves that my own word means nothing to me.*
Ash couldn't sleep. After another long lonely night, she'd given up altogether at around two-thirty. Though it was still dark outside and would have been for quite a while, Ash got washed up to pass the time, and dressed for the day. Afterwards, she was at a loss for what she wanted to do. There was no way she would turn the TV on, already knowing the rubbish she'd find there, and she hadn't yet found the courage to listen to her music, afraid of the lyrics- or anything really- that would remind her of the past month. As it was, just looking around the flat, she could see many of the things that they had mixed and matched inside of Scribbs' flat, constant reminders of the life Ash thought she'd led for two years. It was a life she refused to admit she missed. As she stared at the many items in the flat, remembering all their uses during that time, she began to wonder why she was still there in her flat, in that building.
After Sunday in the cemetery with Mrs. Marks, they had gone back to the building together. They'd had tea as they spoke of Toby, what Ash knew and remembered of her. Mrs. Marks was not without a story to tell about her youngest. It helped them both; Mrs. Marks needed to speak, and Ash needed to listen. The more Ash heard about Toby, the more she wondered what Toby would have been like as the feisty fifteen year old she was meant to be. Looking at Cassie had given her a clue, but Toby and Cassie were always so different in so many ways. Ash remembered the conversation she had with Mrs. Marks on Sunday:
{"I've been waiting for the day we'd meet there so I could ask you over and we could talk. I've waited for so long- almost too long- that I thought... I thought this talk might never come." Mrs. Marks started off by saying.
Ash, who had been just about to drink from her cup, paused in this, unsure how to answer. "I... wasn't ready," was all she'd come up with after a moment.
"I understand." There had been a silence between them before Mrs. Marks started up again. "It had been so nice having you around. It was safe having a policewoman living in the building, but after your friend came to get your mail and things while you were gone, I realized you wouldn't be here forever, and I knew I didn't want for you to be. Someday you'd move on, and I realized that I wanted that... for the both of us. Since then, I have tried a couple of times to leave the building, something I haven't done since... Well..." Mrs. Marks looked away as she thought, then looked back at Ash. "But I did. Today, I woke up thinking I had to give it another go. With Cassie and Fredrick by my side... I was ready. And there, Miss Ashurst, you were, right beside Toby. Now tell me, do you find it a coincidence that we 'became ready' to face this at the very same time?"}
Ash didn't have an answer for Mrs. Marks, and the woman only chuckled at her silence. Even then as she thought about it now, she wasn't sure. She'd never been the sort to believe in fate or supernatural things like that, but as she looked around the flat, she suddenly didn't feel the need to move out like she had before. She knew that if she was going to live without Scribbs- without Upy even- that she'd be able to tolerate it now, and even feel slightly content. She didn't feel bound to the flat like she had before, as if she had permission from Mrs. Marks to leave, even from Toby and Erik Kingsley themselves. She also wasn't in a rush to leave anymore. Ash told herself that she would stay put for now, but if something came up, she would look into it.
Ash looked at the small, but neatly stacked pile of papers on her dining room table, the envelopes of papers and bills she'd gone over a couple of different times already. She had made sure that what she had given Scribbs was more than fair. The brunette could still see the look on her partner's face when she'd seen the cheque and the amount Ash had written there. Going over it all again, part of her wondered if she should have given the blonde more, but that would have only added fuel to Scribbs' fire, when Ash would rather walk away completely. As it was, the DI was going to have to expect a small row the next day. Ash knew that Scribbs didn't care about the money. The blonde would have been angrier about the fact that Ash was trying to bribe her way out of the situation, to ease her guilt and humiliation somehow with money. Though Ash didn't agree that was what she was doing, she couldn't quite deny it, either. After making sure that everything was in order, Ash put the envelopes and statements away. Then she sat down again, her thoughts running wild as both Scribbs' and Sullivan's words ran through her head.
Ash was surprised, when she got to work a few hours later, to find that Scribbs had gotten there before her. When she saw the blonde's car in the car park, she froze. She had hoped to prepare herself for the confrontation with Scribbs in the time between their arrivals. She forced her shoulders straighter and her breath steadier as she finally walked inside. It took her a moment to make her way into the CID looking as composed and indifferent as ever. Ash was further surprised when she saw that Scribbs was sitting at her desk, back straight as she wrote what looked to be a report in shorthand. Seeing this, Ash wondered what case they would work on that day. As she got closer to the blonde, she noticed the chain of a necklace just above the collar of the Scribbs' shirt. She saw, as Scribbs held down the paper to keep it from moving as she wrote on it, that the DS had her wedding band on again. This made Ash's steps falter slightly, but she managed to continue on towards her own desk.
After finishing the sentence she was working on and placing its final punctuation mark, Scribbs looked up from the report. She chanced a look towards Sullivan's office, and Ash did as well. The door was closed and the lights were off. When Scribbs' eyes locked with her partner's, Ash hadn't expected to see the hope and adoration she saw there. She'd expected anger and hurt, and Ash wondered what Scribbs was planning by wearing the wedding band. Knowing that Scribbs wasn't the type to wear necklaces, Ash wondered if her own wedding band dangled from it.
Having noticed Ash's stares, Scribbs placed her hands in her pockets, ignoring the flash of memory where Sullivan had advised her to do that very thing because the wedding band WASN'T there at the time. For the first time since she'd gotten her hair cut, Scribbs wished that she'd kept it long. She knew that Ash suspected what she'd kept so close to her heart. She didn't want her partner to know just how much she was pining for her, even though it was so obvious and true. Her eyes went down to the desk in front of her before she looked up again at the brunette. "Good morning," she said tentatively, as if to test the waters with the DI. Scribbs looked ready to say something else, but held back instead.
Ash's chest felt tight when she saw that Scribbs' look didn't change. Though the brunette could see that Scribbs wasn't as broken as she'd been over the weekend, she definitely didn't shine as much as she had before Ash's fall. Ash couldn't let go of the guilt, knowing that she was completely at fault for that. "Scribbs," Ash acknowledged with a nod. The brunette didn't get it. Where was the fury she'd been expecting? When was Scribbs going to bring up the once joint account? What had happened the night before to make Scribbs look at her that way? Just what was she planning to spring on her?
"We got a call in. The body of a popular doctor was found in his car, which had run into a tree a couple of hours ago."
"Sounds like a job for Traffic," Ash said.
"His breaklines were cut, which made the constable suspect murder."
"Why didn't you call me in?" Ash asked, daring to look at her partner.
"The call only came in about twenty or so minutes ago. I figured you were on your way in already." Scribbs stood and put her jacket on. Ash was glad that she had never taken hers off. Scribbs handed her one of the pieces of paper that the blonde had been working on. She saw that they were identical, one for her and one for Scribbs.
"Why two?" Ash's curiosity forced her to ask.
"I wasn't sure if we'd be working together on this case. I wanted to keep a copy of the report to look over even if... you decided to have me work somewhere else today," Scribbs replied, her eyes looking anywhere but at the brunette.
Ash nodded, but Scribbs wasn't looking in her direction to see it. "Thank you," the DI said softly, though she wasn't sure what she was thanking Scribbs for. Her tone of voice wasn't nearly as sincere as it needed to be for Ash to thank the blonde for all she'd done for her the past month or so (not that then was the time or place for that anyway), but it was too soft and emotional to simply thank Scribbs for the paper in her hand.
Scribbs' response of 'You're welcome' was spoken in such a way that seemed to tell Ash that she was welcome to anything and everything Scribbs had done and would continue to do for her. The blonde was still unsure if she'd work with her partner that day, and if she were honest with herself, she wasn't sure if she wanted to, at least on that particular morning. Ash, on the other hand, hadn't thought about sending Scribbs off to work somewhere else, but since the blonde was making an effort to be civil after what she'd done the night before, Ash decided that she would, too. She followed the blonde to her car, which seemed to surprise Scribbs this time. Scribbs opened the door for her, and then she went to the driver's side. The silence, as well as the last scene from the previous time the two of them were in the car together, ran between them on the way to the inquiry, and though both of them felt increasingly uncomfortable, neither one of them would say anything about it.
Nearing noon, Ash was finding it harder and harder to stay calm. Every glint of daylight seemed to reflect off of Scribbs' wedding ring and into her face. Every curve of the blonde's neck invited Ash to look at the chain, her eyes always following it down to where it disappeared into skin she once knew better than she ever thought she would. It was almost enough to make her want to break her silent, temporary truce with Scribbs. The blonde never said or did anything to point to the fact that she wore both rings, but by defying her true marital status by having them on her made Ash feel as though Scribbs was somehow mocking her. Ash felt that the wedding band had no right to rest upon Scribbs' knuckle as if it'd belonged there all along. She had a feeling she knew what the blonde was trying to do, but she couldn't allow for her feelings to contradict what she knew was the right thing for Scribbs.
Part of her wanted to demand Scribbs take it off, but it wasn't really her place to do that. She knew that the reminder of the rings would only make it harder for either of them to move on, and it wasn't fair to either woman. "I need to speak with you," Ash said suddenly, making Scribbs look up from the work she had been doing on the computer for the past few minutes.
"Alright," Scribbs replied slowly. She made a couple of saves to her work and stood up, grabbing the folder she was pretty sure she was going to need, and started to walk towards the interrogation room they had argued in the day before.
"No, outside," Ash said. Scribbs would have nodded if her partner weren't already on the move with her back to her. The blonde was sure that Ash wanted to talk about either the cheque from the day before, or the wedding band on her finger. Considering the fact that she'd caught her partner staring at her ring many times that morning, Scribbs was sure that it was the latter. Though she knew that the confrontation was coming, she was surprised by how quickly Ash had cracked. Scribbs had hoped to get more of her 'case' prepared as she gathered her words in the short amount of time she knew the brunette would give her.
The two women hurried outside, and Ash right away noticed the dark clouds in the sky, no doubt foreshadowing the next few minutes between them. They made their way towards the gardens that bordered the CID, and the bench that had been dedicated to former DCI Kingsley. When she had first heard the name Erik Kingsley from Dr. Pellow in the hospital over a month ago, Scribbs had been sure she'd heard the name somewhere, and realized that all the times she's sat on that bench over the last few years at the CID, it had been there the whole time, in that garden. Now that she knew who that person was, she took a moment to really stare at the name as she thought about who he might have been. The fact that he had died in Ash's place meant that he was a special person, that he was worth remembering.
Ash's eyes traveled from the cloudy sky above them down to Scribbs' arm, where the folder was tucked tightly to her chest, and then finally over to the bench where her partner had been staring. After a few seconds of hesitation, Scribbs sat down on the bench so that she could still see the name on the plaque. She waited, looking at the clouds a few times and then at her partner. She saw Ash's foot begin to tap, creating very small thuds in the grass. Under other circumstances, she might have teased the brunette about being on the grass to begin with as she recited one of the rules back at her, but Scribbs knew that it would have been a really bad idea. Instead, she let the silence continue as her brain tried to find the words she needed to say. Finally, there was a sigh from the brunette as if she was just too tired to start an argument.
"What are you doing, Scribbs?" Ash asked after another moment.
"Ash?" the blonde asked innocently.
"Why are you wearing your- the wedding band?"
Scribbs stared at her partner, seeing how tired the other woman was. Still, the annoyance could be heard in the question. "Because I am still married," Scribbs replied simply.
"Wha-? Scribbs, that wasn't real. I'm coming to terms with that. Why are you still on about it?"
Scribbs saw how much pain Ash was in, and if she didn't have so much to prove, she would have taken the wedding band off right then and there and left it all alone just to make it right. "It's true," Scribbs insisted. She looked downwards at the folder in her hand.
"Scribbs-"
"No, I can prove it," the blonde protested, not waiting for Ash to rip into her. The brunette stared at the folder Scribbs was holding and then at the determination on the blonde's face.
"Is that what that is?" Ash asked finally, "Proof?" At Scribbs' meek nod, the DI sighed again. "Alright. Let's hear it."
"Ash-"
"But if you're wrong- which I am sure you are- I don't want to hear anything more about it, and I don't want to see the wedding bands ever again. Agreed?"
Scribbs swallowed, her cheeks sucked in slightly, and her jaw clenched tight for a moment. She had the marriage license, and she was sure that it was enough proof even without the judge's name, but she didn't know if even that would be enough to convince the brunette in front of her. She took another long moment before she finally said, "Okay."
Ash unfolded her arms to reach for the folder. Reluctantly, Scribbs handed it over. "This should be good," Ash muttered. Their fingers touched, and both women reacted, Scribbs tried to gain further contact and Ash recoiled from it. Scribbs tried her best not to look hurt by it, but she failed. Ash opened the folder. The first thing she saw was the marriage license.
"Th- The marriage license, it's real," Scribbs stammered. The brunette hesitated, as if afraid of truly seeing the Canadian seal, and then she picked it up, holding it to the light. Scribbs watched Ash's hands and face, and before the older woman could deny what she was seeing, she continued on, "You know that the seal, the watermark proves that the document is real. By Canadian law, we are married."
"I didn't sign this, even if it is real," Ash argue. "It is forged and therefore it is still false." Ash scoffed. "For all I know the signatures of the judge is also fake."
"Look in the folder. He's a real man."
"Coincidence," Ash said quickly.
"No," Scribbs countered. "Real document, real judge." She watched as Ash looked at the picture and printed pages of the man in question. "Only a handful of us know that your signature was forged- most likely by David, your signatures are so alike. To the rest of the world, we are together. According to Canadian law, we didn't need to be citizens of Canada to get married, but we do in order to get divorced, so... Until you're willing to live in Canada with me for a year, you're still my wife."
When Ash stayed silent, Scribbs went on, "And even if all that wasn't real, Ash, we were married where it counted. What was it you said to me in that first fight after your fall? 'Our marriage license may not be recognized here, but you are my wife.' Isn't that what you said?"
"Damn it, I hate when you throw my own words back at me," Ash huffed.
"Makes for the best ammo, in my experience," Scribbs replied calmly. She stood up and took a couple of steps towards Ash, who leaned back a little bit to gain some distance, but didn't otherwise move. The blonde returned the printed off pages to the folder and tucked them under painfully familiar pictures taken at Britannia Park. She looked at the two of them in the pictures and then up at Ash. "You know how I am undercover. I can't act very well, let alone enough to take this," she said, tilting the picture so that Ash could see it better. "That moment was ours, and it was the most real feeling that I have ever had in my entire life. A picture says a thousand words," Scribbs said, pointing to the image of her own face, "and every single one of them is true."
Ash suddenly stepped back, closed the folder over the picture, and handed the folder back to Scribbs. "This proves nothing more than the fact that you can give reports after all," Ash said. She turned slightly, ready to walk into the CID, but Scribbs had taken her hand and quickly moved so that she was facing the brunette again. Ash was surprised by the speed at which the blonde had moved.
"It proves," Scribbs stressed, moving so close that Ash had no choice but to remain eye to eye with her, "that I love you, that our love is more than a piece of paper and seven years of hidden truths. It proves that THAT moment was ours, and it was real. That should be the most important detail." Scribbs leaned back enough to grab the picture again, which forced her to let go of Ash. She hoped the brunette wouldn't move, and was relieved when she didn't. She twisted her wrist even as her arm remained against her chest as she showed Ash the picture. "It proves that we'll spend the rest of our lives looking for THIS, knowing that we won't find it with anybody else. I wouldn't want to," Scribbs concluded softly.
The two of them were still for a long moment. "Scribbs," Ash tried to say, but she stopped. It was as if she just couldn't speak, and the blonde could see that so much was running through her partner's mind. Finally, Ash put her hand up, turned away from Scribbs again and walked towards the building without saying anything else. This time, Ash was too quick for Scribbs to catch up to her, as she was trying to hurry after her and replace the picture at the same time.
"Kate! Kate please!" Scribbs called, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. By the time Scribbs had put the picture away and made it inside the CID, the brunette was nowhere to be seen. She went back to her desk and ran her hand through her hair as she fought back tears. "This was a really bad idea," she told herself, looking towards Sullivan's office. It was still dark. Where was he? Scribbs wanted to talk to him about the marriage license, but it looked as if he wasn't coming in that day.
Ash stood with her back against the wall in the women's bathroom of the CID. She took in a couple of deep breaths, and then let out a long sigh as a couple of tears fell. Ash's heart and Scribbs' words hammered against all of the DI's barriers. She wasn't sure how long it would take before she let them crumble completely. She was sure that Scribbs already knew this. She was so close to just letting Scribbs be right, but what she'd told Sullivan was still true, and she loved Scribbs too much to take advantage of her more than she already had. But what if, in time, the absense proved to be too much for both of them? 'In time, she'll have found a nice bloke who's truly right for her,' Ash thought to herself. The image that followed made her face scrunch up, but she told herself it was right. It was just enough to reseal any cracks in the barriers, dry her eyes, and leave the bathroom.
She was glad she had, as a DS was mid-way through briefing Scribbs on the case of Ryan Lambert, the doctor who had died that morning. So far, all of the men who'd worked on his car had no aquaintance with him before or during the time it was being repaired, and Ryan's wife, Gail, had been questioned most of the morning, so Ash and Scribbs hadn't been able to talk to her. As Ash approached the two DS', she heard enough to know that she and Scribbs could now go and speak with her. Though Gail Lambert wasn't a suspect so far, she had been one of the last people to see Ryan alive that morning, and was the best person to judge any new or sudden changes in him prior to his death.
Without words, Scribbs gave her partner a questioning glance, and Ash nodded, letting her know that they would be riding together. Scribbs thanked the other DS, hurried to put on her jacket, and then she followed the brunette out the door to the car. As they passed their colleagues, Scribbs could feel the questioning glances, knowing that they were wondering what was happening between them. Scribbs really didn't want to know what was running through the rumor mill, or just how many of them were right. The ride over was silent. It was to be expected. Every now and again, Ash would look over at Scribbs only to see her glaring at the road, whether or not anyone was actually there. When the blonde's head would jerk to the left to look at Ash, the DI would quickly look back out the window as if that had been the direction of her gaze all along.
Gail Lambert was still drying her eyes when she answered the door for them, letting them in graciously. She offered them tea, which both women accepted. They both needed something calming after the nerve-wrecking conversation/row they'd had before leaving the CID. Having just put the kettle on for herself, it didn't take long for the tea to be served and for the three of them to settle in the living room. Ash and Scribbs had gotten a few questions in during its preparation - mostly about the Lamberts' marriage in general, which seemed pretty average - and some questions about that morning before the so called 'accident' had occurred.
"One minute he's here, I kissed him goodbye. Had I known he'd be gone only a couple of hours later, I wouldn't have let 'im leave this morning."
Ash, who was sitting on one of the chairs while Scribbs sat on the sofa, looked around the house and saw pictures of the Lambert family. Ryan looked like a loving husband and father to the young boy seen in many of the pictures, which only made Ash burn to know who would want to kill him. He had to have been holding in some secret that Gail knew nothing about, and Ash was determined to uncover it. The DI was taken out of her thoughts when she heard Gail speak to Scribbs, and she saw that the woman had taken notice of the blonde's wedding ring.
"You married, too?" she asked, sounding much older than she really was, which couldn't have been any older than Ash herself.
Green eyes flickered over to the brunette, connecting for just a second as Scribbs said, "Yeah." She became self aware, and put her left hand in her pocket. Ash stiffened at this, hoping that the conversation would be left at that. The brunette wasn't sure what she'd do if it went any further than that, or if Scribbs revealed just who she'd been married to.
"Of course, you love him," Gail said.
"I love her very much," Scribbs replied.
Gail didn't seem to bat an eye or skip a beat as she took in the added information, but Ash's eyes closed tightly and opened again, unsure what to think about Scribbs outing herself. "I suggest you hold her close when you get home tonight, because you never know when you're going to lose her. And when you do... you won't know what to do with yourself." Gail's voice broke by the time she had finished her statement, and a couple more tears fell.
Scribbs looked down, and what little fringe she had fell forward from where it'd been tucked to the side. She cleared her throat and slowly put her teacup down. "Uh... I'll wait outside, I... need some air," the blonde said to Ash, not looking at either of the other women in the room.
Gail seemed startled by Scribbs' sudden exit. "I didn't mean to... Its just, losing Ryan..."
Ash took a sip from her cup, her movements slow and stiff, before she said, "She'll get over it." Her own words were a lot more harsh than she had intended, but she didn't feel the desire to take them back. She was just glad that her own voice didn't quiver or break. She took in a deep breath in a way to force herself to relax, and Gail Lambert knew then that they were about to get back to the inquiry. "Now, you said that Ryan didn't know anyone at the auto shop?"
"He couldn't 'ave. It was his first time there. We used to go to another, but we discovered this one was closer to the house and his work."
"Tell me what happened when you took the car in."