FIC: The Pack (Stargate: Atlantis AU) 3/10

[ashinae]

The Pack: A Stargate: Atlantis AU - Chapter 3
by ashinae and jay_linden
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10


Ford was gone. Grodin was dead. Bates was returning to Earth and wouldn't be coming back. Caldwell had saved John's life. Elizabeth, John, Carson, and Rodney were going to head back to Earth on the Daedalus.

Everything felt wrong. John's skin itched. He arrived at Teyla's door in the dead of night.

"Come in," Teyla called. She always seemed to know when it was John.

He stepped inside. "You're awake?" he asked.

She nodded. She was seated on her bed, but the covers weren't down. "I couldn't sleep," she admitted.

John approached the side of her bed and almost sat down, then, as a polite afterthought, asked, "Do you mind if I...?" He gestured at the bed.

Teyla shook her head. "Of course not. Please."

He sat down. "I want to look for Ford," he said, "when we get back from Earth. Because we will be coming back."

She nodded. "I know you do," she said. "And I know you will. This is your home."

"And you're my--you're part of my pack, Teyla. I'm going to return."

"You don't want to go, do you?"

"Not really, no," John admitted.

"But you need to go," she said. "It's important."

He nodded. "I know. Teyla, I no longer have a second or a third. And I have to go. You'll take care of Atlantis, won't you?"

"Of course," Teyla said. "And you'll take care of Rodney."

John grinned at her. "Of course I will. He needs it sometimes."

"More like all the time," Teyla teased.

"Well, yes," John admitted with a shy little shrug. "Teyla, I..." He paused. Hesitated. Didn't know what else to say.

She reached out and gave his hand a squeeze. "It's all right," she coaxed.

He looked down at their hands, then at her again. Impulsively, he leaned in and kissed her. There was fire there. There could be--so much. She'd be a strong mate for him, powerful enough in her own right.

She'd make a fine wolf.

But John still burned for someone else. He pulled back with a little sigh.

Teyla touched his cheek. "It's all right," she repeated. "I know."

He blinked. "You... know what?"

"I'm not the one."

"You could be," he said.

"No," she said. "I couldn't. That isn't how this works. And your wolf has already made his choice."

"You've spent too much time talking about werewolves with Elizabeth and Carson," John said, with a soft sigh. "I really don't think McKay's at all interested."

"If you think that, then you're as blind to your senses as Bates was," Teyla said.

John stiffened a moment, then relaxed again. He shook his head. "No," he said, "I really don't think so."

"Because of Peter Grodin?" Teyla said.

"You knew?" John didn't know why he was surprised.

Teyla nodded, just once. "He was a good man," she said. "He was kind, and wise, and McKay misses him deeply." The fact that Rodney hadn't said anything didn't mean she didn't know. Teyla always knew these things. "He misses his colleague, he misses his friend. He misses his lover. But he's not grieving the loss of his partner, or love. His mate, as you wolves would say." She looked at John. "Just as you are not grieving in that way since Aiden has left us," she added softly.

John opened his mouth to reply then closed it. Then opened it again. "Oh," he said, after a moment or two.

"Yes," Teyla said gently. "I knew about that too."

"I'd gotten really good at being alone until all of you came along," John said, almost laughing, almost serious, almost accusing, almost a lot of things.

She smiled and patted his arm. "You came to us, Major Sheppard," she reminded him. "You came to us, and you brought hope. All of us have been changed by that. Including you."

He laughed and took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Thank you," he said, simply, since no other words seemed to be adequate. Especially not words he'd come up with.

Teyla nodded, her version of 'you're welcome'. "Don't think that I haven't noticed that you've moved away from the subject," she added.

He sighed. "With everything that's just happened," he said, meaning Grodin and Ford, "it doesn't seem all that... appropriate to do anything."

"I understand," Teyla said. "You will know when the time is right to do something. If you listen to your instincts, rather than your head," she added. "You know that he needs you, don't you?"

John blinked a few times. "He does?" he said, surprised all over again.

"Rodney needs someone who challenges him. Who stands up to him. Someone who knows how to let him be himself, and keep him from being too much himself," she said. "I believe that you are that person. And I'm not telling you anything you don't know, John."

He was quiet a moment, then nodded. "I know," he said. "I guess I just have to figure out what to do with it now."

She patted his hand, in an almost motherly fashion. "You will," she said confidently.

"You have a lot of confidence in me."

"I do," Teyla agreed. "You've given me cause, many, many times. So have confidence in me. Trust your instincts. Trust your heart. You will know what to do."

***

Lieutenant Colonel.

Had a nice ring to it.

***

The itch was almost unbearable now. John felt like he was burning. The Daedalus moved too slowly. Most of its crew gave John a wide berth; only Caldwell really interacted with him in any way, and even then that hospitality was decidedly chilly. John decided he didn't give a rat's ass.

It took him about three minutes, though, before he rang the chime to Rodney's quarters on the Daedalus.

"Oh for... you have your own crew, you know--I'm not going to fix everything on your damned ship just because I happen to be on bo--oh," Rodney said, stuttering to a stop after he opened the door and saw John there.

John stared down at him. Waited.

"I thought you were someone else," Rodney said.

"Yeah," said John.

"So... did you need something?" Rodney asked. "Or..." He hesitated, then pushed his door open wider.

That was a good enough invitation. John stepped inside. The door closed behind him. He pushed Rodney against the wall and pressed his face against Rodney's neck. Rodney made a surprised sound.

Here they were again. It'd been awhile. John growled and pressed his body right up against Rodney's. "I want you."

"I thought--I--you--Teyla?" Rodney managed to gasp out. Even as he pushed right back against John.

John's hands went to Rodney's hips and squeezed tight. "No. We're not right for each other."

Rodney moaned, then closed his mouth so fast he bit his lip, trying to stay quiet.

"I want you, Rodney."

"Why me?" Rodney gasped. "Why not Teyla or Elizabeth, or one of the Marines?"

"You smell good, Rodney," John mumbled, rocking against him.

Rodney paused. "Was that an answer as to why you'd pick me over one of them, or are you talking about right now?" he asked. "Because I talked to Carson ages ago, and he said that you'd never pick me, and it was highly implied that I was not a suitable match, and yet here you are, and you're pinning me up against my wall and telling me I smell good, and I'm a little confused."

John growled and rocked against him again. "You talk too much, McKay." John really didn't want to talk. "If you were female, I would never have hesitated. I'd have chosen you ages ago. You're more or less my equal number outside of the military." They needed to stop talking now. His teeth scraped across Rodney's neck.

"I'm not though--I'm not female, so does that mean... what does that mean? What... ohgod, don't stop moving," Rodney begged.

John wasn't about to stop. John was never going to stop. "You're mine," he said, against Rodney's neck, his voice rough. Ragged. Everything was absolutely ragged around the edges and his body felt like it was on fire. It had been way too long.

John felt it when Rodney shuddered. "John," he whispered, holding on tightly.

"Do you know," John said as he dragged Rodney away from the wall, "that's very likely the first time you've said my name? Have you been trying to keep me away?"

"Not exactly," Rodney said, voice rough and needy.

John guided him across the room to the bed. "Are you afraid of me?"

Rodney shook his head. "I wasn't trying to keep you away. I was trying to keep away from you."

They fell still just as the backs of Rodney's legs hit the bed. John held him upright. "Why?"

"Because Carson said that it shouldn't be me."

John was honestly surprised to hear that Carson would say such a thing. "And so you pushed me away." He growled again; low, angry.

Now Rodney was starting to look a little nervous. "That's... one interpretation."

"What's another interpretation?"

"That's the only interpretation."

"You're mine," John said. "I want you, Rodney. If you tell me now... I can still stop."

"And if I don't tell you to stop?"

John grabbed Rodney's wrist and drew his hand to his crotch. Crude, perhaps, but certainly to the point.

Rodney gasped. He swallowed hard and looked up at John. "Don't stop."

John's free hand went to the back of Rodney's head and he kissed him. Pushed his tongue into Rodney's mouth. Kept that hand pressed right where it was, rocked against it. He figured this wasn't going to last very long--not this time. Rodney moaned into John's mouth and his hand pressed harder.

John broke the kiss and dragged his shirt over his head. He tossed it aside, then reached for the hem of Rodney's shirt. Pulling it off meant he lost the glorious, warm contact of Rodney's hand, but it also meant that there could be more. Skin against skin. John felt like he was burning up. He must have felt that way to Rodney, too--he shivered, and John smiled.

More. He needed more. He growled again as he worked on getting them naked. His hands were unsteady, and he cursed in that same rough, ragged voice from before. He shoved Rodney down onto the bed, a little rougher than necessary, and lifted a leg to yank on his shoe.

Rodney pushed up on his elbows to look at John. "Push push, take take... you werewolves are such animals," he complained. "What happened to romance?"

"I'll pick you flowers on the mainland when we get home." John tugged off Rodney's pants, then his underwear, and made short work of his own clothes. He stared down at Rodney for a moment, spread out there, waiting for him, and he smiled. Slow. Predatory. "I'm an animal, huh?" He crawled up onto the bed and dragged his tongue over Rodney's belly.

Rodney groaned. Loudly. "Don't look so smug," he said, sounding breathless. "And don't think this means I'm gonna listen to everything you say either."

"I expect that we're going to spend a lot of time arguing," John said. His tongue found Rodney's nipple and his hand went to Rodney's cock, stroking him off with surprising gentleness.

Rodney arched up into the grip of John's hand like it was the first time he'd been touched by someone other than himself in a long time. Which John knew wasn't at all true, but he tamped down hard on the surge of jealousy. "Probably, yes," Rodney gasped out.

Yes. Oh, yes. This was exactly what John needed. He pressed close, wrapped around Rodney, found his mouth in another long, demanding kiss. And all the while, his hand kept moving, slow and steady.

He pushed back against John, arms moving around him, hanging on tightly. He kept moaning into his mouth, like he was still trying to talk.

"Damn, you're noisy," John complained a moment later. He crawled over Rodney and began to rock against him. "You just don't... shut... up."

"Like you didn't know that alre--oh--oh, more of that, don't stop," Rodney babbled, interrupting himself.

John licked over Rodney's mouth. Felt Rodney's cock against his own as he thrust against him. They could do more later. For now, John needed to be rid of the fire under his skin. Mark Rodney as his own.

Rodney babbled, but all sense had gone out of what he was saying now. He was down to just sounds--begging, pleading, needy noises--and he never, ever shut up.

The groans that rose up in John's throat were a little more wolf than human. He pushed one hand under Rodney's head and kissed him. Dragged his tongue over Rodney's cheek. Licked his neck; sucked his shoulder. His mouth stayed there as he moved, rocked against him--and his teeth scraped over Rodney's shoulder as he shuddered through orgasm.

Moments later, he felt Rodney's hips jerk under his own, heard his strangled cry, and John dragged his tongue over that spot again and again, then closed his mouth over it one more time. Sucked on Rodney's skin. He'd just come all over Rodney, but it wasn't enough. The mark wouldn't be permanent, but it would be there a while. John would know it was there.

John lifted his head and looked down at Rodney. "Mine," he said.

He looked up at John and nodded a few times. "Okay," he gasped.

John bit Rodney's shoulder, not gently, but certainly not hard enough to break skin. Just hard enough to hurt. "Say it."

Rodney groaned, all the way from his toes. "Yours," he said, licking his lips, and grinning up at John. "Bossy wolf."

***

John liked Major Lorne immediately.

Even more amazingly, Lorne liked John, too.

Noses were very out of joint when John made the announcement. Lorne had only been on Atlantis for about two weeks when he was made John's second, barring Ford's return.

Ford wasn't going to come home. Doctor Heightmeyer said John actually went through the five stages of grief.

But then there was Ronon.

***

"So they just... turn into animals." Ronon wasn't sure what to make of this. "But not all of them." He looked very much like he thought Teyla was making fun of him.

"Only some of them," Teyla said. "Only the ones who are werewolves. The wolf is their other self. Just as true as the human."

"This is the weirdest thing I have ever heard."

"Ever?" Ronon had been a Runner for a long time--she wasn't sure that was necessarily true.

"Maybe not ever. Lately."

"Fair enough," Teyla said. "They really are quite something. Very strong, very lethal. And very beautiful."

Ronon thought about that for a long, long moment. Then he said, "I'd like to see. Think Sheppard would let me?"

"I am sure that he would," Teyla said. "They allow those who they trust to see them changed." She smiled. "Also those they are about to destroy."

Now that? Ronon would like to see. Still, he said, "But they haven't been powerful enough to destroy the Wraith."

"The Wraith are many, and they are few," Teyla said. "In a battle on land, Colonel Sheppard and his people are almost always victorious. In a battle in space, the edge still goes to the Wraith, at this time."

Ronon nodded slowly. Took it all in, a bit at a time. Then: "And Dr Beckett and Dr Weir are witches, and there are other people who have... powers." He sat back in his chair, stretched his legs out in front of her, and fixed Teyla with a look. "Strange place you have here."

"It has its moments," Teyla agreed.

***

To add to John's list of favourite things (which included but was not limited to: football, ferris wheels, Johnny Cash, the way Rodney McKay tasted, and a good turkey sandwich)--running with Ronon Dex.

As much as possible, they did this when John was a wolf. Ronon felt it was a great challenge. To John's surprise and delight, Ronon could keep up with him.

***

John didn't like waking up to discover that Rodney was missing. He really didn't like discovering that Rodney had woken up in someone else's room entirely. He really, really disliked watching Rodney kiss Carson, even if Rodney wasn't in charge at the time.

He did, however, like the part where he got his Rodney back, even if it meant sleeping as a wolf under an infirmary bed for a few nights.

***

The entire base noticed when Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay weren't exactly talking to each other. That sort of thing happened when Rodney destroyed entire parts of solar systems. The Alpha was out of sorts--understatement--and Major Lorne stepped up admirably for the handful of days before John let Rodney back in.

Ronon proved to be damned good with the wolves. John wasn't surprised. They didn't get in his way, and they respected him almost as much as they would if he were Sheppard's third.

He hadn't known Ronon long--but then, he hadn't known Lorne long, either. John hadn't survived life as a werewolf so far without at least some halfway decent instincts. But if Ronon asked? John would do what he could to help him with the metamorphosis. There was no doubt in his mind Ronon would survive it.

And then John kind of turned into a bug. He couldn't heal; his healing abilities made it all worse. And the bug overruled the wolf. John couldn't escape it. He lost control. Up to that point, being paralysed by that Iratus bug had been the single most terrifying experience of his life.

Turning into one quickly knocked that down to second place.

***

Lorne smelled Teyla and side-stepped before they bumped into each other coming around a corner. He steadied her with his hands on her shoulders and gave her that easy smile. "Did you just come back from seeing Colonel Sheppard?" he asked.

Teyla nodded, smiling back at him. "He's doing considerably better, although I expect you knew that already," she said.

"Yeah. Just wanted to give him an update on things." Lorne rubbed at his shoulder. "Had a bit of a scuffle with Major Browne."

Teyla raised an eyebrow. "I assume that you won."

And then he grinned. Definitely wolfishly. "Yeah. I did."

"Dare I ask what it was about?"

"Colonel Sheppard being incapacitated, Ronon hanging about, something about Sheppard stepping down for Caldwell. I corrected him."

Teyla frowned. "He should know that's not how it works."

"One would think," Lorne said, wryly, flexing his shoulder again. "But he's young. Stupid young. Dare I say--a puppy."

"I'm sure he learned his lesson... even if it took a toll on your shoulder," Teyla said, teasing just a little.

"Yeah, and I'm not quite as young as I used to be," Lorne said. "Was the Colonel still awake when you left him?"

"Mmm," Teyla said, nodding. "And complaining about having to stay there. Dr Beckett might need you."

He smiled at her. "Thanks, Teyla. For keeping him company. I'll go help out. And if you bump into McKay, could you tell him that his presence would not hurt?" It seemed to pain Lorne just a little to say as much.

Teyla managed not to laugh--but only barely. "I'll be sure to let him know," she said.

He squeezed her shoulder, then hurried into the infirmary to badger his Alpha into staying in bed.

***

John figured it was probably a miracle that Ford agreed to talk to him privately at all. Or magic. Or something. Still, he was pissed. As soon as they were alone and well away from the others, he grabbed Ford's arm and forcefully turned him around before shoving him against the wall. "What the hell are you thinking?" he demanded. "Giving the enzyme to humans, and then adding three more to that list by forcing it on my team!"

Ford pushed him back, just enough to break Sheppard's hold, then tilted his head from side to side, cracking his neck. "I didn't," he said. "Well. I guess I kind of did," he admitted. "With your team, at least."

"They're ordinary humans, Ford," John snapped. Well--maybe Ronon and Teyla weren't so much, but this was absolutely not the time to have that particular argument. "I need them."

"You need to relax, Sheppard," Ford said. "Your team, they're the second stage."

"Second stage?" John echoed. "What the hell are you talking about?" He was so not relaxing. He was in no way prepared to relax. In fact, right now, he was in full on fight-or-flight mode, and he didn't have anything in which to fly.

"To find out if it works on humans, now that we've got it really refined," Ford said.

"What, you couldn't use it on your own guys?"

He grinned. A lot. "They aren't human."

"What are they, then? Elves?" If Rodney'd been present, even he would have been impressed by that sarcasm.

"No," Ford said. "They're werewolves. I've got my own pack now, Sheppard. You're not the only Alpha in the room."

"They're--" John took a step back, stunned. "Ford, what have you done?"

"That's always been the big problem, right? Changing werewolves, having them survive the transition," Ford said, looking excited and very, very proud. "Some people just can't do it. But when you shoot them up with the enzyme right before you change them... almost all of them survive."

"Almost? Almost all?" John backed away another step, utterly horrified. "Ford, this is insane. You can't just run around the galaxy recruiting and collecting people to turn them into wolves. The Genii know about wolves now, remember? It's only a matter of time before everyone else finds out. Before the Genii or the Wraith or God knows who start working on anti-wolf weapons."

"That's exactly why you need the enzyme!" Ford said. "It keeps you going, takes away your resistance to weapons and drugs. Believe me--we're not afraid of the Genii," he said smugly.

"And what happens on the full moon?" John demanded. "What kind of control can you possibly have? You're all puppies. Ford, the only reason you didn't run rampant through Atlantis at the full moon was because we either locked you away or you were with me. Turning a few people into werewolves does not make you an Alpha."

Ford's posture stiffened as he tried not to get pissed off. It wasn't working very well. "It's my pack, and they're my wolves," he said, smiling at John, but showing his teeth while he did it. "I was the beta to the Atlantis pack. And I'm doing fine, thanks for asking." He turned to leave.

"This is a mistake," John said, softly, but knowing full well that Ford would hear every word. "And if any of my pack gets hurt, there's gonna be hell to pay."

"You'll see," Ford said, turning back to John, confident and smug again. "You'll all see that I'm right."

John took another step forward. "Teyla and Ronon are pretty damn remarkable for humans," he said, "but do you really think McKay can handle this?"

Ford paused and looked back at John, his expression shifting to something much more dangerous, just for a second. "Guess we'll find out, won't we?" he said. "Get some rest," he added, starting to walk away again. "You'll all need it."

***

When Rodney put his hands over his eyes, John actually felt a little pang somewhere in his heart. This wasn't the easiest thing he'd ever done, not by a long shot, and watching Rodney get so torn up over all of this was making it worse. Dealing with Ford, dealing with Teyla and Ronon, dealing with Rodney--all the while, John had to keep his cool.

The one and only thing he had to give Ford any credit for was the fact that, at least according to John's instincts, the full moon was closer behind than closer ahead of them.

"Hey," John said, softly, as he put his hands on Rodney's arms, "it's all right."

"I'm sorry," Rodney said, voice muffled from behind his hands. "I'm... I just... I can't think. I can't think properly, and you know..." He trailed off, and leaned closer to John. "I'm sorry. I'm okay. We should go back."

"We will." John gave a little tug and let Rodney lean in as close as he wanted. "But not right away. Let 'em wait." They were just puppies, after all. John could deal with them if necessary.

Rodney moved his hands away and buried his face against John's shoulder instead. "Sorry," he murmured again. More proof that he really wasn't doing that well. Rodney didn't apologize for much, even to John.

John slipped one arm around Rodney's back; his free hand went to the back of Rodney's head. "Take your time."

"What if I can't do this?" Rodney murmured. "What if I can't fix it?"

"You can," John said. "I know you can. I know you and what you're capable of." He rocked him a little bit. He thought maybe Rodney needed it.

"You'd better hope you're right this time," Rodney said, starting to sound a little more like himself. "The last line in my biography is not going to read that I overdosed on space vampire venom."

"I won't allow that to happen," John said, his voice taking on that wolf-like growl it did when he got pissed off. He pressed his face against Rodney's neck. "You're mine and I'm not letting the space vampires get you in any way."

"Well, since you've put it that way... I guess everything's going to be all right, isn't it?"

John's lips moved against Rodney's skin. They were most definitely not going to get up to anything out in the open like this and not when Rodney was in the state he was in, but John wanted to give him that little bit of reassurance. "Everything's going to be all right." He lifted his head and slid his hands up, onto either side of Rodney's neck. He could feel his pulse, too fast, too frantic, even for Rodney. "Because I said so. I'm the Alpha."

"You're not my Alpha," Rodney grumbled, but despite the rate of his pulse, he was calming down. "Your confidence is inspiring, however."

"I picked you," John said, quirking a grin at him, eyes crinkled up and everything. "So I'm your Alpha and that's the way it is."

Rodney snorted. "And people complain about my ego."

***

Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Everything was wrong. Teyla and Ronon liked the enzyme. And this was all a bad, bad plan. John showed up in Ford's room and stood there for a long, long moment, silent and staring.

"Sheppard," Ford said, without turning around. "How can I help you?"

"I wanted to give you an opportunity to change your mind," John said. "Privately. Lets you save face."

"And why would I do that?" Ford said, turning around to face John, radiating confidence. "This is going to work. McKay's almost got it finished, even if he won't stop whining the whole time he's doing it. Teyla and Ronon are doing great, and we're all better, faster, stronger than we've ever been. My pack is ready to go." He didn't say it, but he was including Teyla and Ronon at the very least as part of that pack.

"Your pack," John echoed. "Aiden, this isn't a pack. It's just a couple of guys who happened to be able to survive the metamorphosis because they were hopped up on space vampire venom. You're not an Alpha."

Ford's expression turned ugly. "You're just jealous," he snapped.

"Jealous," John echoed. "Explain that to me, please." He wasn't at all afraid of the look on Ford's face.

"I chose this," Ford said. "I went out, and I gathered these people, and they follow me. They obey me. You didn't even want to be Alpha," he said. "And we all knew it. It was an accident that made it happen, and you let Bates beat you half to death before you decided you wanted to live badly enough, so okay, you'd be our leader."

John took those words in and they felt a little bit too close to home for comfort. Still, he didn't let it show. "I've spent the vast majority of my life as a lone wolf. Did you know that? And do you know what, exactly, the life expectancy is for a lone wolf? Fifty years at the most. I've lived twice that long."

"So you're not even that old, not for a wolf," Ford said. "Bates was centuries older. You didn't want this. I did. So yeah. I think you're jealous of what I've done here."

"See, there you go, just not really picking up on what I'm saying. No, I'm not that old for a wolf. Yes, Bates is a lot older than me. But a lone wolf who can last as long as I have tends to have a certain power in them. They tend to have qualities and power and that--" dare he say it?-- "magic in them that makes them capable of becoming an Alpha. We wouldn't make it past that half-century mark if we couldn't. And there was that quality in me that drew you. You were a good beta for me, Aiden, and you'd be a good beta for someone else, but do you honestly think that you'd have had the Atlantis pack's loyalty if something had happened to me?"

Ford clearly didn't like that. At all. "I backed you up. On everything. I was loyal, and I was respectful, and I kept the pack yours. You wouldn't have held it without me."

"No," John said, "I wouldn't have. Like I said: you're a good beta. You're not an Alpha." He took a step closer. "Let's give up on this. Come back home--you and your pups. I'll take them in and they can be part of the Atlantis pack. I'll take care of them. And you."

For a moment or two, it looked like he was convincing Ford. Like he'd say yes. "All of them?" he said. "You wouldn't lie about that, would you Sheppard?" The longing in Ford's eyes was impossible to hide. "You think things could go back to normal, and everything would be just like it was before you chased me away?"

"I didn't chase you away," John said, gently, with another step forward. "You ran. I tried to stop you, I tried to bring you home. I wanted you to come home. I want you to come home."

Ford closed his eyes for a moment. "I could come home. Go back, be your beta again?" he asked, looking John in the eyes.

John sighed softly. "I had to choose another beta, Ford. But I don't have a third. A pack the size of Atlantis needs one. They need you. So do I."

And that was the moment that John lost Ford. "We're doing this first," he said, expression completely closed off. "You've handed my role over to someone else--we're doing this first. I have to prove that I'm a leader so I can get it back. I have to prove that we can do this. We're sticking with the plan."

"Ford, please," John said. "You know as well as I do that I'm always the first to volunteer for a suicide mission, but this is--this is crazy. Let's all just go back to Atlantis."

"You need to leave now," Ford said. "I've got things to do. You need to go." And before John could, he stopped him. "Who is it?"

John sighed softly. "Major Evan Lorne."

"Lorne." Ford had to think a moment, then he said, "The guy you sent out with McKay to find me."

"Yeah," said John. "That's him."

Ford looked at John and he smirked. It was an ugly expression. "I beat him once. I can beat him again. You need to go."

John shook his head. "If you really think you could take Lorne, then you really don't have a clue." He turned around and walked away.

Dammit all to hell.

***

Not for the first time, John woke up thinking that every doctor who ever told him that wolves were incapable of suffering concussions must surely be full of crap.

He groaned and sat up, rubbing at his head. "Ford?" he said, hoarsely.

"Took you long enough," Ford muttered, from where he was crouched over beside the cell door.

"They hit me a lot," John muttered.

"Don't expect me to feel sorry for you," Ford said, turning on him. "This is your fault."

John decided that for the moment, the floor was still actually the best place for him to be, so he stayed put. "Right."

"We shouldn't have stopped," Ford said, pushing himself up so that he could stand over John, as big and imposing as he could get. "You know we shouldn't have stopped, and you did it anyway. You're just determined to screw this mission up, aren't you? Can't stand to see me succeed. Jealous bastard."

"You know, Ford, I think you've got a lot of issues to work out."

"Oh yeah?" Now Ford was really pissed off. "How about the part where you just couldn't wait to replace me?" he snapped. "New beta--some guy you don't even know, but Ford's gone, might as well just put anyone in the number two slot, they'll be better than even trying to help him. And then there's McKay," he added, voice getting even louder. "How long was I gone before he took my place too?"

John pushed himself to his feet. "McKay. Who you left behind." He tilted his head to the side and studied Ford's furious face. "It had nothing to do with anyone taking your place, Ford, and if you weren't so screwed up on that damn enzyme you'd know that."

"I know about you two," Ford said, like John hadn't even said anything. "Did you think I wouldn't be able to tell? That's who you replace me with--him?" He laughed, but it was bitter and nasty.

"I didn't replace you. That's not what any of it is about. What exactly do you think the two of you have in common that makes him a substitute for you?" John asked. The worse Ford got, the calmer John became.

"How about you?" Ford snapped. One arm was wrapped tightly around his stomach, and he didn't even know it. "You didn't really want me, did you? You couldn't have. I had to push, and beg, and convince you to come near me, and as soon as I'm gone, you get to have who you really want. And it's him." He leaned in a little closer. "What do you think they'll do to him if we don't come back?" he added. "I'd have thought that, if nothing else, would mean you'd take this seriously, but maybe you don't care about him. Maybe he's just someone else for you to play with and throw away!"

Hi, Aiden, welcome to Crazy Place, population: you.

But even as the thought flitted through John's mind, he stared in absolute horror at Ford. "That's why you left him behind," he said, said, just loud enough for Ford to hear. "You left him behind as insurance that I'd co-operate because... because..." He turned away and stalked across the cell, ignoring the woman cowering on the floor against the wall. "Good job, Ford, absolutely fucking brilliant! You know Rodney is the one person who might actually be able to break us out of here by exploiting all this technology--so you left him behind. Because you're jealous!"

Now? Now he was pissed.

"Rodney, Rodney, Rodney, that's all you care about!" Ford yelled at him. "He's the one who you insisted we lower the enzyme dose on. Not Teyla, not Ronon. You think they don't know that you abandoned them for him? That you put him first? They'll stay with me," he said. "When we get out of here, when we complete the mission, they'll leave you, and they'll stay with me, because they believe in what I'm doing. You'll see. You'll see," he repeated. He turned away, breathing faster, and held his arm tighter across his stomach.

"I love him!" John yelled back. "Okay? Do you understand that? Do you have any idea what that means to me? He's my mate and I will do anything to protect him. I have to keep him safe. But Ronon and Teyla are part of my pack too, they're my family, and I am not going to leave them behind. I wouldn't leave you behind, either, if you'd give me half a chance. Now would you sit down and shut up and let me figure out a way out of here before you have a damn coronary?"

Ford glared at John, but he didn't yell at him this time, turning away after a few moments. It was a while before he spoke again. "I don't have very long before the enzyme starts to fade," he said quietly.

"Yeah, I figured as much," John said.

"We have to figure a way out soon," Ford said, turning back to John. "And this time, when we get out, we can't look back."

***

John crouched next to Ford. There was a brief time he'd thought about changing into a wolf to see if he could get out that way, but now it was too late. He put his hand on Ford's shoulder. "How you holding up?"

"Okay. I'm okay," Ford gasped. He was drenched in sweat, and shaking all over--anything but okay. "I just need more of the enzyme. It'll all stop if I get more of the enzyme, and we can get out of here, and get the rest of our people, and finish the mission, and go back to the planet and get Rodney, and--"

"Shh. Don't." John sighed. "I'm gonna get you out of here." Somehow. He just had to work out the details.

The girl--Neera--was wiping the sweat off Ford's face, and he managed to murmur a thank you. "Is it true? What you said?" he asked John, licking at his already cracked lips. Even with the enzyme leaving his system, as a werewolf, he should have been healing more quickly. He wasn't.

"I said a lot of things," John said.

"About Rodney. You said... do you really love him?" Ford managed to force his eyes open so he could look at John. "Were you just saying that, or is it true?"

So help him, John felt embarrassed now. "Uh," he said, "well. Yeah."

"I didn't know it was like that," Ford said, teeth starting to chatter. "I didn't know... I thought he was just... I didn't know. I should have known. If I was a real Alpha, I'd know, but I'm not, and--" His body jerked violently.

"Shh. Come on, Aiden. You're stronger than this. You're a werewolf." If Ford was going through this, what were Teyla and Ronon going through? Or Rodney? Oh, God, Rodney. On that planet, all by himself.

Ford sagged back against the floor, still shivering and gasping. "I'm trying," he rasped. "I'm sorry."

"We're gonna get out of here, safe and sound. And we're gonna go back home and you're going to get better. I promise. We're a family."

| Chapter 4 |