Fic: Closer
Part 2
Jin cleared his throat. Kazuya looked up from sitting on the floor beside his door, one hand pressing his phone to his ear and the other holding a broken key. “Need help?” Jin asked.
“No, thank you,” Kazuya said dismissively. He disliked the man for leaving the little girl just so he could to go and sing with his band. “I'm already calling the building manager.”
“Don't waste your time," Jin said. “Watanabe-san never answers his phone." Kazuya loathed to agree but from experience, he knew Jin was right. He was quite puzzled when the other man left without another word. In a while, though, his neighbor was back out again, carrying a tool box with his child trailing behind.
“Hi, Uncle Kazuya," Aya cheerfully greeted. She was wearing a frilly pink blouse over a pair of striped baseball jersey pants. Kazuya stood up and brushed the seat of his pants. He smiled at the girl. “Hi," he greeted back.
Meanwhile, Jin stooped low to inspect the jammed doorknob. Kazuya's eyes instinctively landed on the man's protruding behind. When he realized where he was looking, he flushed and immediately looked away only to see that Jin had already caught him. "This is gonna take a while," Jin said with a knowing smile. "You can wait at our place in the meantime."
Before Kazuya could protest, Aya had taken his hand and was leading him inside their apartment.
The moment Kazuya set foot inside the place, he was overwhelmed by the walls painted in red. “You like it?" the little girl asked, having noticed how he was looking around. "That's our name, see? Aka means red." Kazuya smiled. He didn't like it. He thought red was too flashy.
The little girl started introducing her toys, gifts she claimed she got mostly from her father's friends. On and on she talked about her father and his friends. Not once did the girl mention her mother and Kazuya knew better than to ask.
The kid talked a mile-a-minute and Kazuya was so entertained he didn't even notice that half an hour had elapsed. He had even forgotten about his door until a sweaty Jin entered the apartment and proudly proclaimed he had successfully fixed the door. Kazuya tried not to notice how the damp white shirt clung on the man's body.
“I'll have the master key copied tomorrow for you," Jin said. When Kazuya raised an eyebrow in query, Jin explained, “I'm kinda' Watanabe-san's on-call help around here."
Kazuya nodded, feeling slightly guilty realizing that the man did actual real work aside from being a band member. He stood up and took his billfold from his pocket. "How much do I owe you?" Jin waved him off. “No, I'll pay," Kazuya insisted. He took some bills from his wallet and handed it to the man.
Jin looked at the money. He took it but clutched the other man's hand as well. Kazuya eyed their conjoined hands, the warmth of the other man's hand making him uneasy. "How about we buy dinner with this money and share it with us?" Jin offered. Kazuya tried to wrench his hand free but Jin held it tighter. "Then we'll call it even," Jin added. He turned towards his daughter. "Wanna have dinner with Uncle Kazuya, sweetie?" The little girl jumped in delight and clapped her hands. Kazuya tried not to frown at what he thought was the man's deviousness.
"Eat,” Aya prodded when she saw Kazuya just sat and held his bowl of rice. “So you can have ice cream after.” Kazuya smiled at the girl and started eating. He looked from the lid of the bowl and narrowed his eyes at the father. Jin just smiled and ate his rice.
Aya looked from her father to Kazuya and back. "You should hear my Daddy sing. He's really good. And he dances well, too," Aya proudly declared.
Kazuya smiled at the girl. "Sorry but I don't go to clubs," he said.
“You don't seem to go much anywhere," Jin mumbled on his bowl of rice. Kazuya heard but chose to ignore the comment.
“You should!" Aya exclaimed, seconding her father's invitation. "It's fun there where Daddy works. And you'll meet Uncle Joker and Junno-kun. And Tat-chan! He's pretty like you."
Kazuya tried not to wince. “You bring your kid to the club?" Kazuya asked Jin.
"I've no choice sometimes," Jin explained. "As you can see we're a single-parent household." He paused. Kazuya knew Jin was expecting him to ask more and, in fact, he had been wondering on the whereabouts of Aya's mother. But he chose not to ask. "You sure don't talk much, do you? Is that because you're a writer?" Jin asked. Kazuya merely skewed his mouth to which Jin responded with an amused smile.
♥
"Isn't it too early to smoke,” Jin teased when he found Kazuya crouched as usual on the next balcony, smoking and looking down at the street that had started to get busy. The other man merely gave him a sharp sideways glance. “Give me a break, 'kay?" Jin said. "It's not easy being a single parent,” he continued but the other man still ignored him. “I'm sorry I'm not smart like you and get to work in an office. I didn't even finish high school.”
Kazuya took a drag on the cigarette, held his breath for a second then blew out the smoke. “It's none of my business and I really don't care,” he said, tapping the cigarette on the concrete floor, watching with disinterest the ashes being blown towards a bare foot.
“Well, I care," Jin said. He didn't know why but it mattered to him what his neighbor thought. "For your information, I don't just sing in the band. I do other work in the club, too." Kazuya finally turned to look at him and when he noted the intrigued expression on the other man, Jin blurted a short laugh. "It's not a host club. I also work as a bartender is what I meant. Though, thank you for thinking I look good enough to work as a host."
Kazuya sneered. "I didn't say that.”
“You thought it," Jin teased and knew he was right when his neighbor's mouth skewed in an obvious attempt not to smile.
♥
"I'm really sorry,” Jin said.
Kazuya smirked. “You're not.”
Jin didn't bother insisting. He really wasn't sorry the baby-sitter was late again for the second time that week. He wasn't sorry because his daughter looked extremely happy being left with their next-door neighbor. He watched his daughter climb up on Kazuya's lap and looked adoringly at the writer. It seemed she had quickly forgotten he was still there and was already preoccupied with Kazuya's rainbow-colored bead necklace. Mine, Jin thought as he fought off the twinge of jealousy he always felt whenever his daughter ignored him for another adult.
"I owe you," Jin said to his neighbor.
Kazuya turned towards him. "Then pay me.”
Jin was momentarily stunned, afraid he had overdrawn on his neighbor's hesitant hospitality. But then he noticed the familiar twitching of Kazuya's lips. "Are you serious?" Jin asked, playing along. "You wanna cut in on my measly income?" he added, feigning being appalled.
“Ha!" Kazuya scoffed but his eyes twinkled with reined-in mirth. "You pay that no-good sitter by the hour.”
“Fine. I'll just have to cut back on Aya's meals," Jin said, doe-eyed and pouting. Kazuya looked at him and finally laughed. For a moment, Jin just stood still, warmed when the tail-end of Kazuya's laughter was a genuine smile that reached the eyes. The very first directed at him.
♥
"It's too early to smoke.” It was Jin's usual greeting whenever he finds Kazuya in his usual position on the balcony.
"It's too early to be bothersome” was Kazuya's usual retort. They had been sharing occasional mornings that way for several weeks. Through those mornings, Kazuya was able to piece together Jin's life: that his family lived in Okinawa, that he and his friends ran away just before they graduated from high school and went to Tokyo in the hopes of making it big as a rock band. And how one day, six years ago, the then 19-year old Jin opened the door and a girl he barely remembered hooking up with dumped a baby in his arms and left.
That morning though, after their usual greeting, Jin turned quiet and pensive. Kazuya clicked his tongue, annoyed that the other man's unusual behavior bothered him so much he had to ask why. “Something is bothering Aya,” Jin replied, worry etched on his face.
“What?" Kazuya asked, himself suddenly bothered.
“I don't know," Jin said, looking down the street. "She won't tell me but" - he paused and took a deep breath - "I think it has something to do with her not having a mother." Jin turned to look at Kazuya. "She had asked me before, you know? And I have told her I don't know why her mother left and I don't know where she is."
“You did right telling her the truth" Kazuya said but Jin didn't look reassured. "Your kid's smart, Akanishi. She's gonna be okay. Don't worry about it."
Jin took another long and deep breath. "I'm her father. It's my job to worry.”
♥
Kazuya silently read the words he had just written as he tried to wrap up his conversation over the phone. When he hung up, he automatically reached for his cigarette but found the pack wasn't on his desk. Then he remembered putting it inside his drawer because Aya would always take it and break the sticks. And he remembered that the little girl was with him. He had almost forgotten because she had been too quiet. He found her sitting on the floor and looking up at him.
"Was that your mommy, Uncle Kazuya?” Aya asked. She had obviously heard his conversation with his mother.
“Yeah,” Kazuya replied. He expected the girl to ask a random follow-up question but she returned to quietly playing with her purple ninja squid stuffed toy, her Barbie doll in dreadlocks and a Gundam robot caped with Barbie's fur coat. “What's wrong?” Kazuya asked.
Aya fiddled with Barbie. “I don't have a mommy,” she said softly, her brown eyes sad.
The girl's words broke Kazuya's heart. “Of course you have a mother,” he said, trying to sound matter-of-fact. The girl looked at him, face clouded “She's just not around,” Kazuya added. Aya's eyes questioned. “Sometimes it's just that way,” he said, groping for words to explain to a 5-year old the bitter facts of life.
The little girl frowned. Kazuya motioned for her to climb up his lap and the girl did. “See, me... my father left when I was still a baby. So I didn't know him at all.”
Aya's eyes widened. “You don't have a daddy?” she asked as if the idea of anyone not having a father was impossible.
Kazuya smiled because he understood. He, himself, could not imagine his world without his mother. “I have a father but he just wasn't around like your mother isn't.” Aya's face suddenly looked sympathetic, apparently still not over the fact that Kazuya didn’t have a father. “But I'm okay,” Kazuya went on, “because I have my mom and my mom's a real nice mother.”
Aya was silent for a while fiddling with the robot in her hand. “Daddy is a real nice dad.”
“Yeah,” Kazuya agreed. “And how many of your classmates got a dad who's going to be a real famous rock star soon?”
The little girl was thoughtful. “Their dads work in the office. Boring,” she said.
Kazuya smiled and kissed the top of the girl's head. He could only hope what he said would make her feel a little better. He was somehow assured of it when she smiled and said, “You can borrow my daddy if you like.”
♥
"Hi, Uncle Kazuya!”
Kazuya pulled shut his door, turned around and saw the little girl in bright yellow school uniform smiling her usual bright smile. “Hey,” he said, warmed that she seemed to be back to her old self. “You going to school?”
Aya nodded, face glowing with excitement. “Are you going to work?”
“Yeah,” Kazuya answered. “You look nice,” he added. The little girl blushed. Kazuya looked up and saw Jin leaning loose-limbed on the wall by the stairway. He gave the man a curt nod then immediately averted his eyes. There was something in the way Jin was looking at him that made him uncomfortable.
“You smell nice, Uncle Kazuya,” Aya said then she took Kazuya's hand and led him towards the stairs. Jin silently trailed behind.
When they reached the sidewalk, Kazuya turned to Aya. “Have fun in school,” he said but instead of letting go, Aya tugged at his hand.
“Uncle Kazuya, I think you should kiss me for good luck.”
Kazuya was slightly taken aback. He cast a glance at Jin who merely watched and looked amused. Kazuya hesitantly bent down and gave the little girl a peck on her cheek. “Good luck,” he said before pulling up. Aya blushed once more, her eyes twinkled and her smile shone as bright as her school uniform. She turned around and skipped away.
“What?” Kazuya snarled at the girl's father when he found the man staring at him.
Jin was poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue in an attempt to keep himself from smiling. “So, are you going to borrow me or what?” he said. His eyes twinkled in much the same way as Aya's did. Kazuya frowned.
“We'll be late, Daddy! Come on!” Aya yelled.
Jin gestured at his daughter to wait. “'Cause I'm busy, you know? My daughter needs to flaunt her soon-to-be-famous-rock-star daddy to her classmates,” Jin said to Kazuya.
Finally making the connection, Kazuya blurted a short laugh. “No, thank you. I don't wish to cut in on your hectic schedule,” he said.
“You sure? 'Cause I can make time for you.”
Kazuya laughed again. “No, thanks. I'm quite fine with my parent, obstinate as she may be.”
“Okay then. Go or you'll be late for your boring office work,” Jin teased. He remained still for a moment then he smiled, mouthed the words “thank you” and bowed before he turned on his heels and caught up with the little girl who was still skipping away on her ruby red shoes.
♥ Part 3
Jin cleared his throat. Kazuya looked up from sitting on the floor beside his door, one hand pressing his phone to his ear and the other holding a broken key. “Need help?” Jin asked.
“No, thank you,” Kazuya said dismissively. He disliked the man for leaving the little girl just so he could to go and sing with his band. “I'm already calling the building manager.”
“Don't waste your time," Jin said. “Watanabe-san never answers his phone." Kazuya loathed to agree but from experience, he knew Jin was right. He was quite puzzled when the other man left without another word. In a while, though, his neighbor was back out again, carrying a tool box with his child trailing behind.
“Hi, Uncle Kazuya," Aya cheerfully greeted. She was wearing a frilly pink blouse over a pair of striped baseball jersey pants. Kazuya stood up and brushed the seat of his pants. He smiled at the girl. “Hi," he greeted back.
Meanwhile, Jin stooped low to inspect the jammed doorknob. Kazuya's eyes instinctively landed on the man's protruding behind. When he realized where he was looking, he flushed and immediately looked away only to see that Jin had already caught him. "This is gonna take a while," Jin said with a knowing smile. "You can wait at our place in the meantime."
Before Kazuya could protest, Aya had taken his hand and was leading him inside their apartment.
The moment Kazuya set foot inside the place, he was overwhelmed by the walls painted in red. “You like it?" the little girl asked, having noticed how he was looking around. "That's our name, see? Aka means red." Kazuya smiled. He didn't like it. He thought red was too flashy.
The little girl started introducing her toys, gifts she claimed she got mostly from her father's friends. On and on she talked about her father and his friends. Not once did the girl mention her mother and Kazuya knew better than to ask.
The kid talked a mile-a-minute and Kazuya was so entertained he didn't even notice that half an hour had elapsed. He had even forgotten about his door until a sweaty Jin entered the apartment and proudly proclaimed he had successfully fixed the door. Kazuya tried not to notice how the damp white shirt clung on the man's body.
“I'll have the master key copied tomorrow for you," Jin said. When Kazuya raised an eyebrow in query, Jin explained, “I'm kinda' Watanabe-san's on-call help around here."
Kazuya nodded, feeling slightly guilty realizing that the man did actual real work aside from being a band member. He stood up and took his billfold from his pocket. "How much do I owe you?" Jin waved him off. “No, I'll pay," Kazuya insisted. He took some bills from his wallet and handed it to the man.
Jin looked at the money. He took it but clutched the other man's hand as well. Kazuya eyed their conjoined hands, the warmth of the other man's hand making him uneasy. "How about we buy dinner with this money and share it with us?" Jin offered. Kazuya tried to wrench his hand free but Jin held it tighter. "Then we'll call it even," Jin added. He turned towards his daughter. "Wanna have dinner with Uncle Kazuya, sweetie?" The little girl jumped in delight and clapped her hands. Kazuya tried not to frown at what he thought was the man's deviousness.
"Eat,” Aya prodded when she saw Kazuya just sat and held his bowl of rice. “So you can have ice cream after.” Kazuya smiled at the girl and started eating. He looked from the lid of the bowl and narrowed his eyes at the father. Jin just smiled and ate his rice.
Aya looked from her father to Kazuya and back. "You should hear my Daddy sing. He's really good. And he dances well, too," Aya proudly declared.
Kazuya smiled at the girl. "Sorry but I don't go to clubs," he said.
“You don't seem to go much anywhere," Jin mumbled on his bowl of rice. Kazuya heard but chose to ignore the comment.
“You should!" Aya exclaimed, seconding her father's invitation. "It's fun there where Daddy works. And you'll meet Uncle Joker and Junno-kun. And Tat-chan! He's pretty like you."
Kazuya tried not to wince. “You bring your kid to the club?" Kazuya asked Jin.
"I've no choice sometimes," Jin explained. "As you can see we're a single-parent household." He paused. Kazuya knew Jin was expecting him to ask more and, in fact, he had been wondering on the whereabouts of Aya's mother. But he chose not to ask. "You sure don't talk much, do you? Is that because you're a writer?" Jin asked. Kazuya merely skewed his mouth to which Jin responded with an amused smile.
♥
"Isn't it too early to smoke,” Jin teased when he found Kazuya crouched as usual on the next balcony, smoking and looking down at the street that had started to get busy. The other man merely gave him a sharp sideways glance. “Give me a break, 'kay?" Jin said. "It's not easy being a single parent,” he continued but the other man still ignored him. “I'm sorry I'm not smart like you and get to work in an office. I didn't even finish high school.”
Kazuya took a drag on the cigarette, held his breath for a second then blew out the smoke. “It's none of my business and I really don't care,” he said, tapping the cigarette on the concrete floor, watching with disinterest the ashes being blown towards a bare foot.
“Well, I care," Jin said. He didn't know why but it mattered to him what his neighbor thought. "For your information, I don't just sing in the band. I do other work in the club, too." Kazuya finally turned to look at him and when he noted the intrigued expression on the other man, Jin blurted a short laugh. "It's not a host club. I also work as a bartender is what I meant. Though, thank you for thinking I look good enough to work as a host."
Kazuya sneered. "I didn't say that.”
“You thought it," Jin teased and knew he was right when his neighbor's mouth skewed in an obvious attempt not to smile.
♥
"I'm really sorry,” Jin said.
Kazuya smirked. “You're not.”
Jin didn't bother insisting. He really wasn't sorry the baby-sitter was late again for the second time that week. He wasn't sorry because his daughter looked extremely happy being left with their next-door neighbor. He watched his daughter climb up on Kazuya's lap and looked adoringly at the writer. It seemed she had quickly forgotten he was still there and was already preoccupied with Kazuya's rainbow-colored bead necklace. Mine, Jin thought as he fought off the twinge of jealousy he always felt whenever his daughter ignored him for another adult.
"I owe you," Jin said to his neighbor.
Kazuya turned towards him. "Then pay me.”
Jin was momentarily stunned, afraid he had overdrawn on his neighbor's hesitant hospitality. But then he noticed the familiar twitching of Kazuya's lips. "Are you serious?" Jin asked, playing along. "You wanna cut in on my measly income?" he added, feigning being appalled.
“Ha!" Kazuya scoffed but his eyes twinkled with reined-in mirth. "You pay that no-good sitter by the hour.”
“Fine. I'll just have to cut back on Aya's meals," Jin said, doe-eyed and pouting. Kazuya looked at him and finally laughed. For a moment, Jin just stood still, warmed when the tail-end of Kazuya's laughter was a genuine smile that reached the eyes. The very first directed at him.
♥
"It's too early to smoke.” It was Jin's usual greeting whenever he finds Kazuya in his usual position on the balcony.
"It's too early to be bothersome” was Kazuya's usual retort. They had been sharing occasional mornings that way for several weeks. Through those mornings, Kazuya was able to piece together Jin's life: that his family lived in Okinawa, that he and his friends ran away just before they graduated from high school and went to Tokyo in the hopes of making it big as a rock band. And how one day, six years ago, the then 19-year old Jin opened the door and a girl he barely remembered hooking up with dumped a baby in his arms and left.
That morning though, after their usual greeting, Jin turned quiet and pensive. Kazuya clicked his tongue, annoyed that the other man's unusual behavior bothered him so much he had to ask why. “Something is bothering Aya,” Jin replied, worry etched on his face.
“What?" Kazuya asked, himself suddenly bothered.
“I don't know," Jin said, looking down the street. "She won't tell me but" - he paused and took a deep breath - "I think it has something to do with her not having a mother." Jin turned to look at Kazuya. "She had asked me before, you know? And I have told her I don't know why her mother left and I don't know where she is."
“You did right telling her the truth" Kazuya said but Jin didn't look reassured. "Your kid's smart, Akanishi. She's gonna be okay. Don't worry about it."
Jin took another long and deep breath. "I'm her father. It's my job to worry.”
♥
Kazuya silently read the words he had just written as he tried to wrap up his conversation over the phone. When he hung up, he automatically reached for his cigarette but found the pack wasn't on his desk. Then he remembered putting it inside his drawer because Aya would always take it and break the sticks. And he remembered that the little girl was with him. He had almost forgotten because she had been too quiet. He found her sitting on the floor and looking up at him.
"Was that your mommy, Uncle Kazuya?” Aya asked. She had obviously heard his conversation with his mother.
“Yeah,” Kazuya replied. He expected the girl to ask a random follow-up question but she returned to quietly playing with her purple ninja squid stuffed toy, her Barbie doll in dreadlocks and a Gundam robot caped with Barbie's fur coat. “What's wrong?” Kazuya asked.
Aya fiddled with Barbie. “I don't have a mommy,” she said softly, her brown eyes sad.
The girl's words broke Kazuya's heart. “Of course you have a mother,” he said, trying to sound matter-of-fact. The girl looked at him, face clouded “She's just not around,” Kazuya added. Aya's eyes questioned. “Sometimes it's just that way,” he said, groping for words to explain to a 5-year old the bitter facts of life.
The little girl frowned. Kazuya motioned for her to climb up his lap and the girl did. “See, me... my father left when I was still a baby. So I didn't know him at all.”
Aya's eyes widened. “You don't have a daddy?” she asked as if the idea of anyone not having a father was impossible.
Kazuya smiled because he understood. He, himself, could not imagine his world without his mother. “I have a father but he just wasn't around like your mother isn't.” Aya's face suddenly looked sympathetic, apparently still not over the fact that Kazuya didn’t have a father. “But I'm okay,” Kazuya went on, “because I have my mom and my mom's a real nice mother.”
Aya was silent for a while fiddling with the robot in her hand. “Daddy is a real nice dad.”
“Yeah,” Kazuya agreed. “And how many of your classmates got a dad who's going to be a real famous rock star soon?”
The little girl was thoughtful. “Their dads work in the office. Boring,” she said.
Kazuya smiled and kissed the top of the girl's head. He could only hope what he said would make her feel a little better. He was somehow assured of it when she smiled and said, “You can borrow my daddy if you like.”
♥
"Hi, Uncle Kazuya!”
Kazuya pulled shut his door, turned around and saw the little girl in bright yellow school uniform smiling her usual bright smile. “Hey,” he said, warmed that she seemed to be back to her old self. “You going to school?”
Aya nodded, face glowing with excitement. “Are you going to work?”
“Yeah,” Kazuya answered. “You look nice,” he added. The little girl blushed. Kazuya looked up and saw Jin leaning loose-limbed on the wall by the stairway. He gave the man a curt nod then immediately averted his eyes. There was something in the way Jin was looking at him that made him uncomfortable.
“You smell nice, Uncle Kazuya,” Aya said then she took Kazuya's hand and led him towards the stairs. Jin silently trailed behind.
When they reached the sidewalk, Kazuya turned to Aya. “Have fun in school,” he said but instead of letting go, Aya tugged at his hand.
“Uncle Kazuya, I think you should kiss me for good luck.”
Kazuya was slightly taken aback. He cast a glance at Jin who merely watched and looked amused. Kazuya hesitantly bent down and gave the little girl a peck on her cheek. “Good luck,” he said before pulling up. Aya blushed once more, her eyes twinkled and her smile shone as bright as her school uniform. She turned around and skipped away.
“What?” Kazuya snarled at the girl's father when he found the man staring at him.
Jin was poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue in an attempt to keep himself from smiling. “So, are you going to borrow me or what?” he said. His eyes twinkled in much the same way as Aya's did. Kazuya frowned.
“We'll be late, Daddy! Come on!” Aya yelled.
Jin gestured at his daughter to wait. “'Cause I'm busy, you know? My daughter needs to flaunt her soon-to-be-famous-rock-star daddy to her classmates,” Jin said to Kazuya.
Finally making the connection, Kazuya blurted a short laugh. “No, thank you. I don't wish to cut in on your hectic schedule,” he said.
“You sure? 'Cause I can make time for you.”
Kazuya laughed again. “No, thanks. I'm quite fine with my parent, obstinate as she may be.”
“Okay then. Go or you'll be late for your boring office work,” Jin teased. He remained still for a moment then he smiled, mouthed the words “thank you” and bowed before he turned on his heels and caught up with the little girl who was still skipping away on her ruby red shoes.
♥ Part 3