Comments | ashcanprobably: alles nahe werde fern

ashcanprobably

alles nahe werde fern

Jun 22, 2005 17:50

The following is my prose translation of a poem by Jorge Luis Borges.

The Gold of the TigersUntil the sun is cleft by the west and bursts yellow, how often will I have watched the mighty Bengal tiger, patrolling its determined path, behind a grid of iron bars, with no inkling that these might imprison him. Afterwards, other tigers would come, ( Read more... )

poetry, draupnir, words, poems, andrew hurley, jorge luis borges, norse mythology, prosody, greek mythology, alastair reid, translations

Comments 11

mlknchz June 23 2005, 01:22:30 UTC

I'm curious why you changed "longs to touch" to "becomes anxious to touch"

ashcanprobably June 23 2005, 01:41:21 UTC

The expression to long for was too speculative of desire for my tastes. I wanted the feeling behind the eagerness in his hands to remain undisclosed. I didn't change a thing, by the way. I translated my version before I even dared to criticize Reid's, because touch-ups aren't my business. I work construction. Reid's ending is superior actually. Thanks for rubbing it in my face! Did you read my notes?

mlknchz June 23 2005, 01:50:10 UTC

I did...It's just me; I find "longing" to be a stronger word to describe desire, somehow. "Anxious", to me, conveys a distraction, almost a fear.

ashcanprobably June 23 2005, 02:10:23 UTC

Riiiight. But the original line in the poem doesn't call for desire exactly or strongly. It calls for a quivering, a palsiness, a disquietude, which are the physical effects of desire. I take it that he dares not tarnish the gold of her hair with his touch. I wanted to convey a feeling of self-contained perversion. I see that I have to make a correction into the past tense. The gold of her hair is in his memory, so he is even more helpless in reaching it. There IS a fear. It lies in his inability.

Thread 8

Hurley ciranoxlog June 23 2005, 03:41:16 UTC

Any comments on the Andrew Hurley anthology, which I've had for some time now, lacking any other bound volume pretending completeness in any sense.

Also I've got the Dreamtigers by Boyer...I'm only beginning to learn Spanish alas, and it may be a decade before I am capable of reading Borges with appreciation.

pseudoaccount love orphieux June 23 2005, 04:14:33 UTC

At your service.

Re: pseudoaccount love ciranox June 28 2005, 17:48:55 UTC

Damnation. I have pitched that piece of trash. Thanks.