A quick question for writers.

[ash48]

I often hear "don't tell, show" when it comes to story writing.

Can someone provide an example of what "telling" looks like compared to "showing". Um.. I don't mean story links. Just maybe a sentence or two. I think I know, but I'm not entirely sure.

Or maybe a link to a workshop on this?

Many thanks.

Comments

[transfixeddream]

If I remember correctly, spnroundtable had a workshop on this before!

A quick answer is that telling spells everything out and showing leaves the reader to determine what's going on. For example, "Jared thought Jensen seemed very paranoid on their date." versus "Throughout their date, Jensen kept fidgeting and looking over his shoulder." There's also "Jared is very loud, rambunctious, immature..." for telling, whereas showing would show to the reader HOW he's very loud and such.

Argh, it's late and so my brain isn't working properly, but I hope that helps!

[ash48]

Ah yes. I'm sure roundtable must have covered this. I'll have a little hunt through the tags. :)

And thank you. That makes perfect sense.

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[lexicale]

SPN actually has good examples of this, I think

[ash48]

Yay.. thank you for so much for your examples.

Exposition in the show always intrigues me. As the audience we do need to know a certain amount of information - usually done by one brother explaining something to the other but there are times (especially when the baddie spends a scene explaining why he's done what he's done) that it can be annoying.

Bloodlust is a great example. I have to say I hadn't thought about it like that before.

Thanks again.
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[dontknowmyname]

I took a writing fiction course about two semesters ago. I wish I could say it improved my writing, but sadly I haven't written much since.

However, the biggest thing I took from it was the "show, don't tell" rule. It's a lot easier said than done, but it makes a lot of sense when you think about it. Telling your reader how a character feels is too easy and boring. You want them to have a chance to feel what the character is feeling as much as possible, so you describe it.

I guess an example would be something like this:

bad:Dean looked down at at his brother lying on the dirty mattress and he felt his heart breaking with sadness.

good:Dean looked down at his brother lying on the dirty mattress, and suddenly his knees weren't strong enough to hold him. He fell back into the rickety old chair and dropped his head into his hands

[ash48]

Thank you hun. It is very helpful. Reading the responses here make me realise that I will never be a writer (not that I have any desire to be one). I'm sure I'd "tell" far too much.

This is helpful because I have to teach writing (to very young writers) and it's good to know about these things. Young writers certainly do a lot of telling.

Thank you and I hope we see you writing again soon. :DD

xx

[destina]

I used to have a post with examples up of some of the more common ways writers fall into this trap, but here's my personal pet peeve: writers who use adverbs or verbs (in place of or in addition to 'said') to redundantly tell the reader what the dialogue clearly signals. The dialogue shows; the adverb tells.

Some examples:

"I wouldn't go in there," Dean cautioned.

"Oh, wow, a 16th century manuscript -- I wonder what magic was used to bind it?" Sam said curiously.

"I could take it for you, if you want," she offered.

"Hand it over!" Sam demanded.

And so forth.

Other examples of telling instead of showing:

- Long chunks of exposition that explain everything, where the writer could instead translate it into dialogue and action. Dialogue and action are showing; exposition is telling.

- Saying things like "Sam was anxious" instead of using body language and cues to describe it, ie, "Sam's knee bounced incessantly, shaking the floorboards, as he waited for Bobby's call."

[ash48]

Well. Thankfully I am not a writer because I am SURE I would write those all the time. I can see exactly what you mean and I am now worried that I have given instructions to my 6th graders to try and use other words instead of "said". So... is it best to just stick to "said" and only use adverbs if the intention of what is being said isn't clear?

Thank you so much for those examples. It has got me thinking and I'll no doubt be on the look out for those.

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[bythedamned]

jumping in with a link here

[ash48]

This is awesome.

I can see how writers are presented with so many choices when deciding what to write. I have to presume most writers write instinctively and then probably go back and edit. /no idea.

Hee... and yes. Getting young writers to think about words other than "said". I love that they have to learn it all and then make choices. Though I'll always have that info in my brain now so I'll be talking to them about not stating the obvious. (Though at 11 just getting them to write anything is an achievement).

Thanks again. This is very helpful.

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[ravelqueen]

I think it's along the lines of:

Telling:

Mark was one of the funniest people in the room. He always knew the best jokes.

Showing:

"...and that's how it works." Mark said. The whole room was in stitches. Mark smiled at all these people he had finally managed to make laugh.

[ash48]

Thank you. That's a good example. Though I'm sure if I read the first sentence I'd accept it and not recognise it as telling. It's great to see how it would work better.

<3