Comments | asalyn: Cautiously Optimistic

asalyn

Cautiously Optimistic

Oct 21, 2009 22:52

First of all, let me just say, in reference to my last post. If you replied to me, I hope you got my reply back before I edited my post. If not, let me know and I will message you again in some other form or fashion ( Read more... )

Comments 4

theshoelacearmy October 23 2009, 05:34:55 UTC

In all honesty, I agree with what that other person said. I stopped reading your LJ posts a while back because I just couldn't bear reading about this "plan" anymore. It just feels.. wrong, to me.

I know your intentions are good, and to get her to stop lying and misbehaving. But to give you some input, I was one of those too-smart-for-my-own-good kids, and shunting me down to nothing every time I did something wrong wouldn't get me to follow what you want me to do. It would fire up the rage in me and make me want to fight back somehow, any way I knew how to.

To me it just seems like this plan is trying to force the fight out of Bekah. I really don't think this is the right way to go about this, Jen. You should admire that Bekah has that strength in her, but just figure out the way to get her to use it properly instead of in the misbehaving methods she is used to using.

The problem with having a supersmart kid is that normal methods of discipline, like this "you do something bad, we take everything away from you" plan, will not work ( ... )

asalyn October 24 2009, 06:03:22 UTC

All right then Lisa... Tell me as one of *those kids* what would have made YOU happy and made YOU behave ( ... )

theshoelacearmy October 27 2009, 00:14:47 UTC

Sorry, I never got an email notification, so I didn't know you had replied.

In my case... what I wanted most was to be loved and for people to spend time with me. I was constantly left alone or made to feel like people wanted nothing to do with me. I didn't have a problem with lying though... my mother struck fear and respect into me from a very young age, so I honestly never acted out. And she tried to keep a strong connection with me, which ended up making it so I never tried to disappoint her, and tried to make her proud.

I just strongly feel that while discipline is important, it's even moreso important as a parent to make sure your children know you love them more than anything else. It's one of the worst feelings in the world to feel that your own parents are the enemy. I'm sure you get that though.

asalyn October 30 2009, 01:30:15 UTC

Well she has never felt unloved and she's with us all the time unless she is at school. So that is not an issue here. I have always made sure my kid knew she was loved, in actions and in words. Neither of my children will grow up feeling unloved, lost or neglected. I lived that life and they won't.

So yeah I get that. But thanks for your input.. :)