☤ twenty-one

[as_damaged]

I deal with death on a daily basis. That sounds awfully morbid, but it's true. What I do-- moreso than most doctors, maybe, I'm accustomed to it. We save a lot of people, figure things out at the very last moment; we lose people, too. Sometimes because we can't stop it; sometimes because we're asked to; sometimes due to mistakes, lapses in

Comments

audio;

[treadingdawn]

Perhaps if you were to find something sweet to eat...

audio; CASPIAN WHAT ARE YOU |D

[as_damaged]

I doubt that would help.

audio; it is much nicer than offering to keep her mouth busy okai

[treadingdawn]

I mean if you were to find something else to do besides think of words, it might help.

audio; i hear he gets around. wink wink nudge nudge

[as_damaged]

I could always tape my mouth shut if it came to that. The City hates secrets, though. Everything's said sooner or later.

[dr_foodsniffler]

No, you don't get used to it. You might get better at holding on through it and not getting sick all over the floor, but you never get used to it.

Even here, I still say that life is better than death. Death is still death, even if life and death don't seem to mean as much here as they did in my world--and yours too, apparently. Death, injury, sickness--that's still suffering, and I don't wish that on anyone.

And with what happened to you--I'm sorry.

[as_damaged]

I don't think I'll ever get used to this, though. Even if it doesn't change the stakes-- maybe it makes things worse, when you have to face the people you couldn't save.

It's all right. It was a curse, curses aren't supposed to mean anything. I wish it didn't mean anything; most of the time I can pretend that it doesn't, without a problem.

[worksmart]

What? You weren't shot.

[as_damaged]

I was. In the chest, twice, by a stranger who broke down my door, back in March.

[worksmart]

We weren't even here in March. Is this a curse?

[as_damaged]

I've been here since February. Yes, it's a curse, or I wouldn't be telling you about it. I've avoided telling you about it so far.

[uxoriousemperor]

It does not do to dwell on death, madam. Such unpleasant things must be endured, but not dwelled upon in this manner. As it is a curse that compels you to speak, perhaps it is also the curse forcing you to think so deeply about such a painful topic. I do hope that this curse will not last long, and that you may return to more pleasant thoughts in the near future.

[as_damaged]

Thank you.

...I think about it more than I should. Sometimes I think I've seen more than my share of death, but that's a selfish thought. I didn't have to become a doctor; I didn't have to marry-- well.

It's times like this that I really hate this place.

voice

[as_damaged]

I think I knew from the beginning that I wouldn't be okay. Well... I thought eventually, I would be better than I was. Am. But I knew it was going to be difficult, and I guess... it was worth it, to me. Because he needed someone, and I loved him.

voice

[as_damaged]

I'm sure it's not any easier for you-- dealing with terminal patients. You know it's inevitable, that all you can do is postpone the end for them...

I'm sorry. This isn't something I want to talk about.