I Need You So Much Closer: Chapter 14
Serena was able to avoid Blair with surprising ease. Her ex-girlfriend was in the habit of going out during the day. While she would normally be sleeping off her hangover all day long in preparation for the following night when it was the blonde's turn to venture out to the clubs and parties. However, the obnoxious texts from Gossip Girl that woke her up in the middle of the day to report sighting of the Blair, usually with Chuck, did not stop coming. Serena had her share of Gossip Girl shout outs as well. Even more so than Blair. Though hers were often pictures of herself dancing on table tops and not the quaint images of Blair and Chuck having brunch together.
It was nearly five o'clock. She supposed that Georgina would be over soon to force her to get ready for whatever event that the evil brunette had planned. As if on cue, Georgina waltzed in wearing red and white striped short shorts and a blue blazer with an Uncle Sam hat placed crookedly on her head.
"Up and at 'em." Georgina said tossing Serena antennas with glittery red stars on the top of them.
"What on earth?" Serena stared at Georgina confused.
"Please don't tell me you forgot it was the Fourth of July." Georgina rolled her eyes.
"Oh... right." Serena recognized. It was hard to believe that a month had gone by and she had not spoken to Blair. Time was flying by and yet Serena remained in her drunken rut, unable to move on from her ex-lover.
"And because it is the Fourth of July we put on red, white, and blue and go to Nate's Annual Fourth of July Party where we mix underaged drinking and pyrotechnics." Georgina said as if she were talking to a six year old. Serena nodded and pulled herself out of bed to be the mean girl's life sized Barbie doll.
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"Come on Blair. You have not been to a party all summer. We have to go to this one." Chuck pleaded into the phone with the ever solemn Blair.
"I don't know Chuck..." Blair said doubtfully letting her phone rest between her chin and shoulder as she finished painting her nails red. He was trying to convince her to attend Nate's Fourth of July Party. A beloved tradition by all Upper Eastsiders and the event of the summer. Blair had come up with a plan to avoid accidentally bumping into Serena which involved her being in bed by 8. Chuck had been badgering her for a month to attend a party but the brunette remained firm until now. She had loved going to Nate's party in the past and it was very tempting to attend. Blair had not seen Nate in a while which was another motivator to go. But the thought of running into her blonde ex-girlfriend filled her with dread.
"Come on, everyone will be there." Chuck said. That is what Blair was afraid of...
"Tell you what, the moment you are not having fun I will take you home myself." Chuck tried. Blair looked at Chuck carefully. He had been such a good friend to her these past weeks. She had toyed with the idea of dating him but could not bring herself to even hold his hand. Every touch was just a painful reminder that is was not Serena. So she just let him pass the time. Blair supposed he was going stir crazy with all of their G rated activities, thinking of the fundraiser she had dragged him to early that afternoon. The normally bad boy was probably dying to go to a party. Blair thought it would be best to show some gratitude and go to a party with him.
"Alright, it seems fun." Blair said plastering a fake smile on her face.
"Excellent. Now go get ready. I will pick you up in thirty minutes." Chuck said excitedly as he hung up. Blair set her phone on the dresser and moved into her walk in closet to find something to wear. She assumed it would be the normal red, white, and blue theme as she combed through her dresses. Before Blair could stop herself, she grabbed her red Prada dress that she had wore on her and Serena's first date. Instantly her eyes began to water and her hands began to tremble as they gently grazed over the fabric sending her a flood of memories from happier times. Blair shoved it back into place and took a few deep, shuddering breaths as she attempted to regain control over her emotions. Quickly she moved on, distracting herself by selecting another dress, this time blue.
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Serena arrived at Nate's party with Georgina on her arm, her party girl persona in full swing already thanks to the whiskey sours on the way over. The willowy blonde was first greeted by Nate who hugged her with a dopey smile on his face, a sure sign that he was high as a kite.
"Serena, glad you could make it." Nate grinned completely ignoring Georgina who took off to the dance floor.
"I wouldn't miss this! It is always the party of the year." Serena slurred slightly.
"You have been partying up a storm recently." Nate commented. Serena could almost see the gears in his head turning like he was trying to put it all together. The partying, Georgina's presence, her drunkenness, it all pointed that something was wrong. If he asked her if everything was okay, she was going to end up a drunken crying mess before the end of the night. Fortunately due to Nate's drug hazed mind, he was unable to come to any conclusions.
"You like my antennas?" Serena asked distracting him with something shiny.
"Yeah they are awesome." Nate said checking out her patriotic outfit. Georgina had picked out a red and white striped tube top and a high waist blue skirt for her to wear.
"Well enjoy the party." Nate smiled as he wandered off to greet the rest of his guests. Serena sighed and made a bee line for the bar. She quickly mixed herself a drink. The tall girl turned, and leaned against the bar to survey the party. There were lots of people milling about with red cups and sparklers. Boys were doing keg stands in the corner while a group of people were enthusiastically dancing in the middle of the room. She wondered if she passed off as a happy-go-lucky party goer or if they could tell that it was all a charade and she just felt completely dead inside.
She doubted it. Looking at the self absorbed crowd she suddenly noticed a familiar form that made her heart stop. Blair Waldorf stood across the room from her talking to Chuck, stirring her martini and she was the picture of perfection. Her red pumps accentuated her slender calves and the dark blue silky dress she wore revealed just enough of her creamy thighs. The brunette accessorized with a red belt around her tiny waist and her trade mark red headband. Serena almost laughed at Blair's classy, white, Audrey Hepburn-esque elbow length gloves. It was her typical Blair. Though as she watched her ex-girlfriend she began to worry about how frail the brunette looked. Were those bags under her eyes or was it the way her chestnut hair hung around her face. The blonde began to wonder if she could go up and talk to the petite girl. Just to make sure she was okay of course. I mean they could still be friends or at least civil with one another. Only Serena could not get past the urge to punch Chuck in his smug face.
"What are you doing?" Georgina was suddenly hissing in her ear. Before Serena could answer, Georgina continued, "Do you know what going over there would do? It would unravel everything! Being friends with Blair will just drive you crazy. Do you really think you can handle just being friends with Waldorf?"
"I wasn't going to go over there. Sheesh." Serena lied. The blonde realized that Georgina was right. Seeing Blair everyday and not being able to touch her, kiss her, say I love you, would only cut her down.
"Yeah right. Now come dance." Georgina rolled her eyes and began to drag the lanky girl away but not before she could grab a beer.
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Blair smiled as she stood with Chuck at the party. It had been a while since she had been to one and she had become accustom to quiet life style so she felt nervous in the crowd. Not that she revealed that to her peers. Her social standing had already taken a blow due to her fall out with Serena though it was the least of her worries now. So with her practiced air of confidence she hid all insecurity. While everyone was well on their way to being drunk, Blair could not bring herself to gag down the drinks. Even after the first drink she began to feel the alcohol traveling through her bloodstream, making her feel lightheaded. She feared more than anything to lost the control she fought for so hard to maintain everyday. She watched everything she ate, counted every calorie, purged her body of excess, and observed her body as weight slipped off her. But it was still not enough. Serena still was with that awful Georgina.
"Do you want to go dance?" Chuck asked. Blair looked at the throngs of gyrating bodies in the middle of the room. She loved to dance or at least she had when she thought she would only dance have to dance with one person for the rest of her life. Blair nearly gasped when she saw that very person dancing only twenty feet away from her. Serena was freely moving against some brunette that she had never seen before. Her blonde hair whipped around. Her toned body had developed a golden, summer tan. She looked wild and beauty just the way Blair had loved her, still loved her. It was surreal to be this close to the blonde and not be able to be with her. Something bothered the brunette though more than the sight of her ex-lover. Blair did not like the way Serena was gripping her bottle of beer. It reminded her of the way Serena had been before she had left for boarding school. She remembered the horrifying feeling of watching her best friend spiral out of control.
"Well?" Chuck interrupted her thoughts.
"Um, actually I have to go to the bathroom." Blair said as she slipped away from her companion and forced herself to not watch her ex-girlfriend. She was just not strong enough to face this reality without Serena.
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Georgina tossed an intoxicated Serena onto a bed in one of the many spares rooms of the Archibald household. The lanky girl was giggling madly and trying to sing the lyrics of You Belong With Me from Taylor Swift. Georgina was getting tired of having to babysit the gigantic blonde. So she was ditching her date to go have her own fun.
"Now stay here." Georgina said as if she were speaking to a dog.
"Did you see how beautiful Blair was tonight?" Serena asked dreamily.
"Yeah, she looks like Skeletor." Georgina said dryly.
"What does that mean?" the blonde laughed.
"Just stay here with your vodka, okay? If you leave this room, no more vodka, alright?" Georgina said in a serious tone. Serena nodded at her with wide eyes as she clutched her bottle of vodka. She began to giggle once again as Georgina made her escape. After the brunette left, Serena leaned back on the bed and relished the relative silence around her, though she could still hear faintly her the thumping music. She brought the vodka to her lips and let the sharp liquid hit her stomach and kill any feeling she may have. The tall girl felt her eyelids grow heavy and she let them slip shut. Serena would have passed out right there had she not heard the door open or the tiny gasp emitted as the person entered. Serena lazily opened her eyes to see a petrified Blair standing frozen in the door way. The blonde sobered up a very little bit as she and Blair stared at each other from across the room.
Meanwhile, Blair was mentally kicking herself for picking the one room that Serena happened to be in. She had spent the whole evening carefully avoiding Serena and now she had stumbled into the very same rooms as her. The brunette had just wanted a moment of peace and quiet. As much as Blair wanted to turn and run, she could not manage to take her eyes off her once best friend. Blair could not explain it but now that she had gotten a good view of the blonde, she looked so beat down, wore out, sad. She had to stay. Unfortunately she could not think of anything to say so she just blurted out the first thought that came into her mind.
"You are drunk." Blair said.
"You are thin." Serena drunkenly shot back. Blair was taken aback for a moment.
"That is none of your concern." Blair said as a scowl fell upon her face.
"And why is it not my concern? Why can't it be my concern?" Serena asked angrily.
"Because we are not together!" Blair shouted, tears began to prick her eyes.
"Why are you doing this Blair?" Serena asked desperately trying to hold onto valid thoughts. She wanted to talk to Blair about her clearly poor eating habits but the alcohol coursing through her system was making it difficult. Blair stared at the blonde for a moment. It was quite the loaded question.
"You know why Serena." Blair said quiet, her demeanor becoming more subdued as she sadly sighed.
"No, no I don't. Please Blair enlighten me." Serena stood getting frustrated with the petite brunette. However, it turned out to be a very bad idea. The lanky girl was instantly dizzy her head swimming with alcohol. And then she felt it, her stomach rumbled in protest to all of the liquor it held. Blair saw Serena's once tanned face go pale and turn a sick shade of green.
"S the bathroom." Blair said urgently. The blonde rushed to the guest bathroom. Moments later Blair heard the familiar sound of vomiting. Blair stood there frozen unsure of what to do. If she stayed it would hurt her to be around Serena but she had to make she the blonde was alright. She pulled her hair into a ponytail and then gathered her strength to enter the bathroom.
Serena was busy emptying the content of her stomach so she did not hear the brunette come into the bathroom. She just jumped lightly as she felt a small hand on her shoulder but relaxed as Blair gathered her golden hair to hold it back.
"It is alright. Just get it out baby. Shh, it is okay." Blair soothed as Serena sobbed and puked. The brunette knelt on the bathroom floor with Serena until she was done vomiting. Blair made the taller drink lots of water and brush her teeth. She stripped the blonde of her sweaty clothes and dressed her in a night shirt that she found in a drawer left by some previous guest. It was almost like old times except for the extreme amount of hurt between the two of them. The pain did not quell the need for one another though. So when Blair tucked Serena into the large bed the blonde could not stop the words that came out of her mouth.
"Stay with me." Serena said holding onto Blair's small hand, her watery blue eyes begged desperately. The brunette could not refuse. She locked the door to avoid any drunk people barging into the room. Blair went to the other side of the bed and stripped to her underwear. She slide into the bed with surprising ease though she did not cross the invisible line that signified Serena's side of the bed. The pair laid as they had many nights in the past as best friend's having sleepovers. Blair smiled when a few moments later she heard Serena begin to snore, a behavior that only occurred when she was drunk. The petite brunette let the soft sound lull her into sleep as well.
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Serena woke up with only a vague memory of what had happened last night and a splitting headache. She remembered dancing, then seeing Blair, then drinking, a lot, then puking, then Blair whispering soothing words to her. But that had to have been her imagination because her memory ended with Blair crawling into bed with her. And yet she was realizing that a small weight was on her chest and someone else's warm legs were intertwined with hers. Slowly, Serena cracked one of her eyes open to see a mess of brown hair and pale limbs surrounding her. The blonde was suddenly was wide awake. Some how in the night, her and Blair had gotten themselves entangled. It brought her so much joy to be holding Blair once again. The blonde tightened the loose grip she held on the smaller girls waist wanting to make the most of this moment. Serena frowned at what she found there. Blair's waist was always little but this was too little. Her grimace deepened as she ran her fingers up Blair's side feeling her ribs. The brunette who was oblivious to what was around her, sighed in her sleep and cuddled up closer to Serena who felt like she might cry.
Blair began to stir. Serena could feel the brunette's body tense up as she stretched, then relax once again. Despite the fact she was exceedingly thin, Serena admired her ex-girlfriend's smooth skin and gorgeous body. Finally Blair's deep brown eyes fluttered open. She looked up at the blonde and almost smiled before everything came crashing down on her once again. She had no right to be snuggling with Serena's lanky form. Though it had been a few seconds of heaven to be waking up in Serena's arms once more.
"Oh sorry." Blair said as she practically scrambled away.
"No worries." Serena tried to smile at Blair in a reassuring way.
"How are you feeling?" Blair asked politely.
"Hungover." Serena smiled ruefully before it fell from her face.
"Not surprising." Blair nodded. There was an awkward pause as both girls did not know where to go from there. Serena knew what she wanted to say. She did not know how appropriate it was to say it but she had nothing to lose.
"I am worried about your weight." Serena blurted out surprising Blair.
"Why don't you worry about Georgina's coke habit?" Blair said in her biting tone. Serena knew better than to bite back. She knew Blair was backed into a corner and she lashing out.
"Blair I know what you are doing, why baby?" Serena asked sadly.
"Why are drinking so much?" Blair shot back.
"We aren't talking about me right now." Serena said through gritted teeth. She was getting annoyed at how Blair was avoiding the question.
"Why should I have to share?" Blair said stubbornly. She was not going to give Serena anything.
"Is Chuck not treating you right? Is he hurting you?" Serena said as her annoyance turned to anger at the speculation the Chuck could be harming Blair.
"What? What do you mean? What does Chuck have to do with this?" Blair asked confused.
"You are dating him." Serena said like she were stating a fact.
"Serena I am not dating Chuck." Blair rolled her eyes thinking that she believed the Gossip Girl texts. Serena looked at her blankly for a moment.
"Blair you don't have to deny it. I saw you two kiss that day." Serena said hurt creeping into her voice.
"Yeah, he kissed me. But I told him it was too late for us and that I did not love him anymore. We are just friends." Blair said getting uncomfortable with the topic of discussion, it was hitting close to their own break up. She recalled never getting the chance to explain the kiss to Serena due to finding the blonde with her nemesis. Serena looked shocked and close to tears.
"You are not dating Chuck." she said.
"No I was never, I could never..." Blair confirmed. The brunette watched as Serena dissolved into tears.
"Oh B, I've been so stupid." Serena cried as she cupped Blair face in her hand. The taller girl should have known better. She should have known to trust Blair and not have jumped to conclusions. Serena sobbed for all of the bliss that she had lost, for all the pain she had caused. The blonde only hoped that Blair would forgive her. She had made such a huge mistake and she was not above begging. Serena reduced her tears down to sniffles as she as she slowly moved forward towards Blair's lips. The brunette just sat there frozen from shock as Serena's lips gently brushed hers. Blair felt her own tears begin to slip down her cheeks. She was so happy to be kissing Serena and yet she was so confused.
"Wait you are with Georgina." Blair suddenly pushed her away violently.
"No B, listen-" Serena began her loving gaze was really throwing Blair off.
"No you listen! You left me for that no account low life! You go crying to her." Blair said angrily though her tears gave away her sadness.
"No, Georgina and I are not dating. I let you believe that because I thought you were with Chuck, I saw you kissing." Serena desperately pleaded.
"What?" Blair stopped short.
"We have not even kissed." Serena promised.
"You- I-" Blair was hardly able to wrap her head around it. Completely exhausted Blair broke down as violent sobs wracked her body. Serena reached for the brunette but Blair jerked away.
"No, no-" Blair tried to speak but she could not catch her breath.
"Sh, I am so sorry. Sh, sh, come here baby." Serena said trying to hold Blair again. The petite girl attempted to push her away again but this time Serena did not stop. She grappled with Blair's hands until she got control of them and pulled Blair into her arms. The brunette may have been stubborn but she was no match for the blonde especially in her state. At that point Blair's wall crumbled. She balled up the fabric of Serena's shirt and held on tightly, pulling the blonde even closer. Serena held onto Blair with equal fervor. The blonde let Blair loudly cry her heart ache out while her own silent tears slipped down her cheeks, hoping that when the tears ebbed she could still hold the petite brunette.
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Let me know what you think, I am trying to decided with or not Blair and Serena should get back together at this point. I would like to see what people think. Comments! Thanks!
It was nearly five o'clock. She supposed that Georgina would be over soon to force her to get ready for whatever event that the evil brunette had planned. As if on cue, Georgina waltzed in wearing red and white striped short shorts and a blue blazer with an Uncle Sam hat placed crookedly on her head.
"Up and at 'em." Georgina said tossing Serena antennas with glittery red stars on the top of them.
"What on earth?" Serena stared at Georgina confused.
"Please don't tell me you forgot it was the Fourth of July." Georgina rolled her eyes.
"Oh... right." Serena recognized. It was hard to believe that a month had gone by and she had not spoken to Blair. Time was flying by and yet Serena remained in her drunken rut, unable to move on from her ex-lover.
"And because it is the Fourth of July we put on red, white, and blue and go to Nate's Annual Fourth of July Party where we mix underaged drinking and pyrotechnics." Georgina said as if she were talking to a six year old. Serena nodded and pulled herself out of bed to be the mean girl's life sized Barbie doll.
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"Come on Blair. You have not been to a party all summer. We have to go to this one." Chuck pleaded into the phone with the ever solemn Blair.
"I don't know Chuck..." Blair said doubtfully letting her phone rest between her chin and shoulder as she finished painting her nails red. He was trying to convince her to attend Nate's Fourth of July Party. A beloved tradition by all Upper Eastsiders and the event of the summer. Blair had come up with a plan to avoid accidentally bumping into Serena which involved her being in bed by 8. Chuck had been badgering her for a month to attend a party but the brunette remained firm until now. She had loved going to Nate's party in the past and it was very tempting to attend. Blair had not seen Nate in a while which was another motivator to go. But the thought of running into her blonde ex-girlfriend filled her with dread.
"Come on, everyone will be there." Chuck said. That is what Blair was afraid of...
"Tell you what, the moment you are not having fun I will take you home myself." Chuck tried. Blair looked at Chuck carefully. He had been such a good friend to her these past weeks. She had toyed with the idea of dating him but could not bring herself to even hold his hand. Every touch was just a painful reminder that is was not Serena. So she just let him pass the time. Blair supposed he was going stir crazy with all of their G rated activities, thinking of the fundraiser she had dragged him to early that afternoon. The normally bad boy was probably dying to go to a party. Blair thought it would be best to show some gratitude and go to a party with him.
"Alright, it seems fun." Blair said plastering a fake smile on her face.
"Excellent. Now go get ready. I will pick you up in thirty minutes." Chuck said excitedly as he hung up. Blair set her phone on the dresser and moved into her walk in closet to find something to wear. She assumed it would be the normal red, white, and blue theme as she combed through her dresses. Before Blair could stop herself, she grabbed her red Prada dress that she had wore on her and Serena's first date. Instantly her eyes began to water and her hands began to tremble as they gently grazed over the fabric sending her a flood of memories from happier times. Blair shoved it back into place and took a few deep, shuddering breaths as she attempted to regain control over her emotions. Quickly she moved on, distracting herself by selecting another dress, this time blue.
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Serena arrived at Nate's party with Georgina on her arm, her party girl persona in full swing already thanks to the whiskey sours on the way over. The willowy blonde was first greeted by Nate who hugged her with a dopey smile on his face, a sure sign that he was high as a kite.
"Serena, glad you could make it." Nate grinned completely ignoring Georgina who took off to the dance floor.
"I wouldn't miss this! It is always the party of the year." Serena slurred slightly.
"You have been partying up a storm recently." Nate commented. Serena could almost see the gears in his head turning like he was trying to put it all together. The partying, Georgina's presence, her drunkenness, it all pointed that something was wrong. If he asked her if everything was okay, she was going to end up a drunken crying mess before the end of the night. Fortunately due to Nate's drug hazed mind, he was unable to come to any conclusions.
"You like my antennas?" Serena asked distracting him with something shiny.
"Yeah they are awesome." Nate said checking out her patriotic outfit. Georgina had picked out a red and white striped tube top and a high waist blue skirt for her to wear.
"Well enjoy the party." Nate smiled as he wandered off to greet the rest of his guests. Serena sighed and made a bee line for the bar. She quickly mixed herself a drink. The tall girl turned, and leaned against the bar to survey the party. There were lots of people milling about with red cups and sparklers. Boys were doing keg stands in the corner while a group of people were enthusiastically dancing in the middle of the room. She wondered if she passed off as a happy-go-lucky party goer or if they could tell that it was all a charade and she just felt completely dead inside.
She doubted it. Looking at the self absorbed crowd she suddenly noticed a familiar form that made her heart stop. Blair Waldorf stood across the room from her talking to Chuck, stirring her martini and she was the picture of perfection. Her red pumps accentuated her slender calves and the dark blue silky dress she wore revealed just enough of her creamy thighs. The brunette accessorized with a red belt around her tiny waist and her trade mark red headband. Serena almost laughed at Blair's classy, white, Audrey Hepburn-esque elbow length gloves. It was her typical Blair. Though as she watched her ex-girlfriend she began to worry about how frail the brunette looked. Were those bags under her eyes or was it the way her chestnut hair hung around her face. The blonde began to wonder if she could go up and talk to the petite girl. Just to make sure she was okay of course. I mean they could still be friends or at least civil with one another. Only Serena could not get past the urge to punch Chuck in his smug face.
"What are you doing?" Georgina was suddenly hissing in her ear. Before Serena could answer, Georgina continued, "Do you know what going over there would do? It would unravel everything! Being friends with Blair will just drive you crazy. Do you really think you can handle just being friends with Waldorf?"
"I wasn't going to go over there. Sheesh." Serena lied. The blonde realized that Georgina was right. Seeing Blair everyday and not being able to touch her, kiss her, say I love you, would only cut her down.
"Yeah right. Now come dance." Georgina rolled her eyes and began to drag the lanky girl away but not before she could grab a beer.
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Blair smiled as she stood with Chuck at the party. It had been a while since she had been to one and she had become accustom to quiet life style so she felt nervous in the crowd. Not that she revealed that to her peers. Her social standing had already taken a blow due to her fall out with Serena though it was the least of her worries now. So with her practiced air of confidence she hid all insecurity. While everyone was well on their way to being drunk, Blair could not bring herself to gag down the drinks. Even after the first drink she began to feel the alcohol traveling through her bloodstream, making her feel lightheaded. She feared more than anything to lost the control she fought for so hard to maintain everyday. She watched everything she ate, counted every calorie, purged her body of excess, and observed her body as weight slipped off her. But it was still not enough. Serena still was with that awful Georgina.
"Do you want to go dance?" Chuck asked. Blair looked at the throngs of gyrating bodies in the middle of the room. She loved to dance or at least she had when she thought she would only dance have to dance with one person for the rest of her life. Blair nearly gasped when she saw that very person dancing only twenty feet away from her. Serena was freely moving against some brunette that she had never seen before. Her blonde hair whipped around. Her toned body had developed a golden, summer tan. She looked wild and beauty just the way Blair had loved her, still loved her. It was surreal to be this close to the blonde and not be able to be with her. Something bothered the brunette though more than the sight of her ex-lover. Blair did not like the way Serena was gripping her bottle of beer. It reminded her of the way Serena had been before she had left for boarding school. She remembered the horrifying feeling of watching her best friend spiral out of control.
"Well?" Chuck interrupted her thoughts.
"Um, actually I have to go to the bathroom." Blair said as she slipped away from her companion and forced herself to not watch her ex-girlfriend. She was just not strong enough to face this reality without Serena.
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Georgina tossed an intoxicated Serena onto a bed in one of the many spares rooms of the Archibald household. The lanky girl was giggling madly and trying to sing the lyrics of You Belong With Me from Taylor Swift. Georgina was getting tired of having to babysit the gigantic blonde. So she was ditching her date to go have her own fun.
"Now stay here." Georgina said as if she were speaking to a dog.
"Did you see how beautiful Blair was tonight?" Serena asked dreamily.
"Yeah, she looks like Skeletor." Georgina said dryly.
"What does that mean?" the blonde laughed.
"Just stay here with your vodka, okay? If you leave this room, no more vodka, alright?" Georgina said in a serious tone. Serena nodded at her with wide eyes as she clutched her bottle of vodka. She began to giggle once again as Georgina made her escape. After the brunette left, Serena leaned back on the bed and relished the relative silence around her, though she could still hear faintly her the thumping music. She brought the vodka to her lips and let the sharp liquid hit her stomach and kill any feeling she may have. The tall girl felt her eyelids grow heavy and she let them slip shut. Serena would have passed out right there had she not heard the door open or the tiny gasp emitted as the person entered. Serena lazily opened her eyes to see a petrified Blair standing frozen in the door way. The blonde sobered up a very little bit as she and Blair stared at each other from across the room.
Meanwhile, Blair was mentally kicking herself for picking the one room that Serena happened to be in. She had spent the whole evening carefully avoiding Serena and now she had stumbled into the very same rooms as her. The brunette had just wanted a moment of peace and quiet. As much as Blair wanted to turn and run, she could not manage to take her eyes off her once best friend. Blair could not explain it but now that she had gotten a good view of the blonde, she looked so beat down, wore out, sad. She had to stay. Unfortunately she could not think of anything to say so she just blurted out the first thought that came into her mind.
"You are drunk." Blair said.
"You are thin." Serena drunkenly shot back. Blair was taken aback for a moment.
"That is none of your concern." Blair said as a scowl fell upon her face.
"And why is it not my concern? Why can't it be my concern?" Serena asked angrily.
"Because we are not together!" Blair shouted, tears began to prick her eyes.
"Why are you doing this Blair?" Serena asked desperately trying to hold onto valid thoughts. She wanted to talk to Blair about her clearly poor eating habits but the alcohol coursing through her system was making it difficult. Blair stared at the blonde for a moment. It was quite the loaded question.
"You know why Serena." Blair said quiet, her demeanor becoming more subdued as she sadly sighed.
"No, no I don't. Please Blair enlighten me." Serena stood getting frustrated with the petite brunette. However, it turned out to be a very bad idea. The lanky girl was instantly dizzy her head swimming with alcohol. And then she felt it, her stomach rumbled in protest to all of the liquor it held. Blair saw Serena's once tanned face go pale and turn a sick shade of green.
"S the bathroom." Blair said urgently. The blonde rushed to the guest bathroom. Moments later Blair heard the familiar sound of vomiting. Blair stood there frozen unsure of what to do. If she stayed it would hurt her to be around Serena but she had to make she the blonde was alright. She pulled her hair into a ponytail and then gathered her strength to enter the bathroom.
Serena was busy emptying the content of her stomach so she did not hear the brunette come into the bathroom. She just jumped lightly as she felt a small hand on her shoulder but relaxed as Blair gathered her golden hair to hold it back.
"It is alright. Just get it out baby. Shh, it is okay." Blair soothed as Serena sobbed and puked. The brunette knelt on the bathroom floor with Serena until she was done vomiting. Blair made the taller drink lots of water and brush her teeth. She stripped the blonde of her sweaty clothes and dressed her in a night shirt that she found in a drawer left by some previous guest. It was almost like old times except for the extreme amount of hurt between the two of them. The pain did not quell the need for one another though. So when Blair tucked Serena into the large bed the blonde could not stop the words that came out of her mouth.
"Stay with me." Serena said holding onto Blair's small hand, her watery blue eyes begged desperately. The brunette could not refuse. She locked the door to avoid any drunk people barging into the room. Blair went to the other side of the bed and stripped to her underwear. She slide into the bed with surprising ease though she did not cross the invisible line that signified Serena's side of the bed. The pair laid as they had many nights in the past as best friend's having sleepovers. Blair smiled when a few moments later she heard Serena begin to snore, a behavior that only occurred when she was drunk. The petite brunette let the soft sound lull her into sleep as well.
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Serena woke up with only a vague memory of what had happened last night and a splitting headache. She remembered dancing, then seeing Blair, then drinking, a lot, then puking, then Blair whispering soothing words to her. But that had to have been her imagination because her memory ended with Blair crawling into bed with her. And yet she was realizing that a small weight was on her chest and someone else's warm legs were intertwined with hers. Slowly, Serena cracked one of her eyes open to see a mess of brown hair and pale limbs surrounding her. The blonde was suddenly was wide awake. Some how in the night, her and Blair had gotten themselves entangled. It brought her so much joy to be holding Blair once again. The blonde tightened the loose grip she held on the smaller girls waist wanting to make the most of this moment. Serena frowned at what she found there. Blair's waist was always little but this was too little. Her grimace deepened as she ran her fingers up Blair's side feeling her ribs. The brunette who was oblivious to what was around her, sighed in her sleep and cuddled up closer to Serena who felt like she might cry.
Blair began to stir. Serena could feel the brunette's body tense up as she stretched, then relax once again. Despite the fact she was exceedingly thin, Serena admired her ex-girlfriend's smooth skin and gorgeous body. Finally Blair's deep brown eyes fluttered open. She looked up at the blonde and almost smiled before everything came crashing down on her once again. She had no right to be snuggling with Serena's lanky form. Though it had been a few seconds of heaven to be waking up in Serena's arms once more.
"Oh sorry." Blair said as she practically scrambled away.
"No worries." Serena tried to smile at Blair in a reassuring way.
"How are you feeling?" Blair asked politely.
"Hungover." Serena smiled ruefully before it fell from her face.
"Not surprising." Blair nodded. There was an awkward pause as both girls did not know where to go from there. Serena knew what she wanted to say. She did not know how appropriate it was to say it but she had nothing to lose.
"I am worried about your weight." Serena blurted out surprising Blair.
"Why don't you worry about Georgina's coke habit?" Blair said in her biting tone. Serena knew better than to bite back. She knew Blair was backed into a corner and she lashing out.
"Blair I know what you are doing, why baby?" Serena asked sadly.
"Why are drinking so much?" Blair shot back.
"We aren't talking about me right now." Serena said through gritted teeth. She was getting annoyed at how Blair was avoiding the question.
"Why should I have to share?" Blair said stubbornly. She was not going to give Serena anything.
"Is Chuck not treating you right? Is he hurting you?" Serena said as her annoyance turned to anger at the speculation the Chuck could be harming Blair.
"What? What do you mean? What does Chuck have to do with this?" Blair asked confused.
"You are dating him." Serena said like she were stating a fact.
"Serena I am not dating Chuck." Blair rolled her eyes thinking that she believed the Gossip Girl texts. Serena looked at her blankly for a moment.
"Blair you don't have to deny it. I saw you two kiss that day." Serena said hurt creeping into her voice.
"Yeah, he kissed me. But I told him it was too late for us and that I did not love him anymore. We are just friends." Blair said getting uncomfortable with the topic of discussion, it was hitting close to their own break up. She recalled never getting the chance to explain the kiss to Serena due to finding the blonde with her nemesis. Serena looked shocked and close to tears.
"You are not dating Chuck." she said.
"No I was never, I could never..." Blair confirmed. The brunette watched as Serena dissolved into tears.
"Oh B, I've been so stupid." Serena cried as she cupped Blair face in her hand. The taller girl should have known better. She should have known to trust Blair and not have jumped to conclusions. Serena sobbed for all of the bliss that she had lost, for all the pain she had caused. The blonde only hoped that Blair would forgive her. She had made such a huge mistake and she was not above begging. Serena reduced her tears down to sniffles as she as she slowly moved forward towards Blair's lips. The brunette just sat there frozen from shock as Serena's lips gently brushed hers. Blair felt her own tears begin to slip down her cheeks. She was so happy to be kissing Serena and yet she was so confused.
"Wait you are with Georgina." Blair suddenly pushed her away violently.
"No B, listen-" Serena began her loving gaze was really throwing Blair off.
"No you listen! You left me for that no account low life! You go crying to her." Blair said angrily though her tears gave away her sadness.
"No, Georgina and I are not dating. I let you believe that because I thought you were with Chuck, I saw you kissing." Serena desperately pleaded.
"What?" Blair stopped short.
"We have not even kissed." Serena promised.
"You- I-" Blair was hardly able to wrap her head around it. Completely exhausted Blair broke down as violent sobs wracked her body. Serena reached for the brunette but Blair jerked away.
"No, no-" Blair tried to speak but she could not catch her breath.
"Sh, I am so sorry. Sh, sh, come here baby." Serena said trying to hold Blair again. The petite girl attempted to push her away again but this time Serena did not stop. She grappled with Blair's hands until she got control of them and pulled Blair into her arms. The brunette may have been stubborn but she was no match for the blonde especially in her state. At that point Blair's wall crumbled. She balled up the fabric of Serena's shirt and held on tightly, pulling the blonde even closer. Serena held onto Blair with equal fervor. The blonde let Blair loudly cry her heart ache out while her own silent tears slipped down her cheeks, hoping that when the tears ebbed she could still hold the petite brunette.
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Let me know what you think, I am trying to decided with or not Blair and Serena should get back together at this point. I would like to see what people think. Comments! Thanks!