ER FIC :: "Seeing Is Believing" [Kerry/Abby] PG13
Title: Seeing is Believing
Author: A. Magiluna Stormwriter
Email: stormwriter@shatterstorm.net
Rating: PG13
Pairings: Abby/Kerry
Category: AU, pre-relationship
Date: 21-22 October 2006
Word Count: 1657
Summary: Abby sees something she hadn't expected to see.
Spoilers: Up to the Season 12 ep "No Place to Hide"
Warnings: AU here, people. I stopped watching the show when Sandy was killed, so this is a total AU from what actually happened. No Abby/Luka, in particular. Deal…
Website: http://www.shatterstorm.net/
Archive: ShatterStorm Productions…anyone else must ask first…Archive: ShatterStorm Productions only…all others ask for permission & we’ll see…
Disclaimer: “ER”, the characters and situations depicted are the property of Warner Bros. Television, Amblin Entertainment, Constant C Productions, NBC, etc. They are borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement. This site is in no way affiliated with "ER", NBC, or any representatives of Maura Tierney or Laura Innes. This site contains stories between two mature, consenting adult females.
The Original Request:
Requester: mrswoman
Fandom & Pairing: ER Kerry/Abby
Prompts: snow, wheelchairs
Squicks: rape, pregnancy
Rating: Any
Spoilers: I'm easy on this one, love Spoilers
The Sapphic Fragment:
I would rather see her lovely step
and the motion of light on her face
than chariots of Lydians or ranks
of footsoldiers in arms
Author's Notes: This was written for mrswoman for the Fragments of Sappho challenge-a-thon. I haven't written this pairing very much, and thought it would be quite fun to do, as I'm a sucker for Kerry Weaver…and I think Abby is great character when they're not Lifetime-ing her. I'd had a couple of ideas running through my head, even started a bit of something once or twice on paper, but didn't get very far. And then, after both of my trips, my muses were rejuvenated and this came out. I kind of hope I can revisit these two again…
BTW? Based on this website, I took the liberty of an early May snowstorm in Chicago. I know it didn't happen this past May, either IRL or on the show, but that's why this story's technically an AU…
Beta: shatterpath, as usual
Dedication: To my muses, for always coming through for me, even if it's a little late… *g*
"Seeing is Believing"
by A. Magiluna Stormwriter
I'm not sure what I was expecting to see at this point. But this is…disheartening. But who am I to determine how things like this should be? I've only worked in this damned hospital for…longer than I care to admit. But I wouldn't give it up for anything either. Especially not today.
I know they still have issues with her. Even the new students who haven't had to deal with her directly. And yet all of the rumors and legends about her continue to grow with each new class. And the residents are even worse. Of course, I shouldn't talk. I've been involved in more than my share of those rumors and legends over the years, especially when I was still a disgruntled nurse. We've all been implicated in one rumor or another over the years.
But even when I did it, I knew it would hurt her. And I still did it. I'd like to say it was stupidity, but I suppose it was more along the lines of wanting to fit in. Those of us that live in the ER are close-knit and vicious against those we perceive as outsiders somehow. And once you're an outsider, it's extremely difficult to get back on the inside.
The sound of a profound sigh brings me back from my mental meanderings. Shaking my head, I look over to see Kerry leaning heavily against the wall on the other side of the ambulance bay doors. She stares out at the fat snowflakes falling to splat wetly against the slush already coating the pavement. I can see her surreptitiously rubbing at her hip, and I have to wonder if she even realizes I'm there. The surgery was a pretty intense experience for her, and it's been hard on her since she came back.
My eyes are drawn back to the snow for a moment. It's not a normal circumstance for snow to fall in early May, but it has happened before. It's just not usually so heavy. If it stays cold enough, this shit will turn to ice pretty damned easily.
"Do you ever wonder if the universe is out to get you?" Her soft question confuses me for a long moment.
"Hunh?" Oh, that's really smooth, Lockhart!
With the hint of a mischievous smirk, she repeats her question more slowly. I'm unable to stop myself from sticking my tongue out at her. She makes her way slowly across the pavement to stand next to me, and I can't keep my eyes off her. I hadn't thought there'd ever be a more beautiful sight than seeing Kerry Weaver walking on a regular basis without the aid of her crutch. Even now, barely two months past her surgery, I can see her hand moving for the crutch out of a lifetime of habit. As if catching herself, she moves to rub at her hip again.
"I guess I hadn't thought about it recently," I reply finally. "I mean, I've gotten used to the world shitting on me, so I guess I don't think about it consciously."
Kerry nods, her eyes drifting out to the snow again. I can't help but study her profile. She's been distant recently, pretty much since she started seriously considering the surgery. Hell, it's been since she took over as Chief of Staff. I've missed her presence in the ER. Once or twice a month to keep up her skills just isn't enough anymore. It's not the same.
"Do you still feel that way, Abby?" Once again, her soft question pulls me from my reverie; only this time, I can hear the heavy lacing of self-doubt in her voice.
I blink and realize she's studying my reaction to her question. Chewing at my lower lip, I shake my head. "No, I guess not. I mean, things have been different for a while now, but nothing wholly shitty, you know?"
"I think I know what you mean." Her eyes go distant for just a moment, and I'm drawn to the play of emotions running across her face. After a long moment, her eyes refocus and she turns away shyly. "Abby, do you think I was wrong in accepting the Chief of Staff position?"
Do I? I don't know. Not that it was my decision in the first place. And I tell her as much. Her exasperated expression tells me I haven't said anything she didn't already know, and I sheepishly grin. "Okay, let me try that again. Who else would have taken the position at the time? Anspaugh? He's already done it and walked away when Romano wanted to take over. The only other real option they had was to bring in someone from the outside, someone who didn't know this hospital or its personnel. You did, Kerry, and you still do. But your heart isn't in the paperwork and the politics. I don’t think it ever has been. At the heart of it, you've always been most concerned about the patients, even if other people don't see it that way."
"Thank you," she replies, open honesty and gratitude gleaming in her eyes. "I didn't think anyone really cared enough to pay any attention beyond the bitch."
I snort and shake my head. "The bitch is necessary, and is widely reviled, I admit it. But at the same time, there's more to you than that one side of your personality. I mean, there's the doctor, the politician, the woman, the mother, the lover…" I realize belatedly what I've just said and grimace at her wince of pain. "I'm sorry, Kerry, that was insensitive of me."
"No, it's all right, Abby," she replies quickly, eyes shuttering off against the brief flare of loss there. "It's been hard since Sandy… It's been hard, but I'm surviving. I have to, for Henry's sake."
"And your own," I add. "Your needs and your wellbeing are just as important as Henry's, you know."
Kerry's lips curl up into a self-deprecating smile that I have come to know well. "I'm a mother now, Abby. Don't you know that means I don't have a libido any longer?"
I burst out into delighted laughter, relieved when Kerry's own amusement joins mine. "Yeah, right. If that was the case, all mothers would have one child and one child only. Try again, Weaver."
She turns to slap my arm, but suddenly hisses in pain as a hand goes to her hip. Without thinking, I stretch out a hand to steady her against the wall. Once I know she won't go anywhere, I lightly probe around her hand.
"It's okay, Abby," she mutters through clenched teeth. "I'm still a little sore. It'll pass in a moment."
I look pointedly at her and shake my head. "Uh-uh, Kerry. That's not gonna fly this time. You stay right here. I'll get you a wheelchair and we'll head back inside to check this out."
"Abby--"
"Better to be safe than sorry, Kerry," I reply. "Now stay here. I'll be right back."
I don't give her time to disagree, and head into the ER. It only takes a moment to grab a wheelchair and secure a room before I head back outside. Kerry's leaning heavily against the wall, head down as she absently rubs at her hip. This could be worse than expected, but I'm hoping it's just her body dealing with a new hip and the weather. Gently I touch her shoulder.
"I don't need that thing," she snaps, but doesn't stop me as I help her settle into the wheelchair. She sags back and lets her head fall to stare up at me. "Why are you being so nice to me, Abby?"
"Because everyone deserves a friend, Kerry," I reply honestly as we start making our way back inside. "Because I'm a doctor who believes in helping my patients. You know I learned that from a very wise woman I know. Perhaps you know her, too?"
Kerry snorts in bemusement at me. "Has anyone ever told you you're a serious pain in the ass sometimes?"
"You do, every chance you get. So does Frank, but he doesn't really count, you know?" Relieved at both her chuckle and the fact that the ER is oddly quiet, I head into the room I've secured for Kerry. I'm very careful as I help Kerry onto the bed, and as I examine her hip.
"It'll be fine," she says through gritted teeth.
"Of course, it will," I reply, not stopping my examination. Satisfied there's no lasting damage, I rub my hands together and begin to gently massage her hip. The surgery helped, but didn't get rid of a lifetime of damage. When she makes small noises of protest, I shush her and continue. Kerry grows quiet and pliant under my hands, but I've no intentions of stopping until I know she's relaxed enough not to aggravate this hip again.
"Abby?" she murmurs in an almost sleepy tone.
"Yes, Kerry?"
"Marry me?" she asks around a jaw-popping yawn.
"Sure," I reply with a smirk. "But only if you'll take on my student loans."
"If you can keep up a massage like this on a regular basis and make me forget the pain, I'll pay whatever loans you want me to."
I chuckle softly and lean over to press my lips to her temple. "Rest now, Kerry, and we'll discuss the sleeping arrangements later. If we need you before the end of your shift, I'll come get you. Otherwise, I'll see you in a few hours, okay?"
She mutters something that vaguely sounds like a thank you, and shifts on the bed. I quietly find a blanket in the cupboard and cover her before drawing the blinds and heading out of the room. Kerry Weaver has no idea what her seemingly innocent request means to me, and I doubt she'll ever understand. But the memory of her smile, her unaided walk, will last me a lifetime.
Author: A. Magiluna Stormwriter
Email: stormwriter@shatterstorm.net
Rating: PG13
Pairings: Abby/Kerry
Category: AU, pre-relationship
Date: 21-22 October 2006
Word Count: 1657
Summary: Abby sees something she hadn't expected to see.
Spoilers: Up to the Season 12 ep "No Place to Hide"
Warnings: AU here, people. I stopped watching the show when Sandy was killed, so this is a total AU from what actually happened. No Abby/Luka, in particular. Deal…
Website: http://www.shatterstorm.net/
Archive: ShatterStorm Productions…anyone else must ask first…Archive: ShatterStorm Productions only…all others ask for permission & we’ll see…
Disclaimer: “ER”, the characters and situations depicted are the property of Warner Bros. Television, Amblin Entertainment, Constant C Productions, NBC, etc. They are borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement. This site is in no way affiliated with "ER", NBC, or any representatives of Maura Tierney or Laura Innes. This site contains stories between two mature, consenting adult females.
The Original Request:
Requester: mrswoman
Fandom & Pairing: ER Kerry/Abby
Prompts: snow, wheelchairs
Squicks: rape, pregnancy
Rating: Any
Spoilers: I'm easy on this one, love Spoilers
The Sapphic Fragment:
I would rather see her lovely step
and the motion of light on her face
than chariots of Lydians or ranks
of footsoldiers in arms
Author's Notes: This was written for mrswoman for the Fragments of Sappho challenge-a-thon. I haven't written this pairing very much, and thought it would be quite fun to do, as I'm a sucker for Kerry Weaver…and I think Abby is great character when they're not Lifetime-ing her. I'd had a couple of ideas running through my head, even started a bit of something once or twice on paper, but didn't get very far. And then, after both of my trips, my muses were rejuvenated and this came out. I kind of hope I can revisit these two again…
BTW? Based on this website, I took the liberty of an early May snowstorm in Chicago. I know it didn't happen this past May, either IRL or on the show, but that's why this story's technically an AU…
Beta: shatterpath, as usual
Dedication: To my muses, for always coming through for me, even if it's a little late… *g*
"Seeing is Believing"
by A. Magiluna Stormwriter
I'm not sure what I was expecting to see at this point. But this is…disheartening. But who am I to determine how things like this should be? I've only worked in this damned hospital for…longer than I care to admit. But I wouldn't give it up for anything either. Especially not today.
I know they still have issues with her. Even the new students who haven't had to deal with her directly. And yet all of the rumors and legends about her continue to grow with each new class. And the residents are even worse. Of course, I shouldn't talk. I've been involved in more than my share of those rumors and legends over the years, especially when I was still a disgruntled nurse. We've all been implicated in one rumor or another over the years.
But even when I did it, I knew it would hurt her. And I still did it. I'd like to say it was stupidity, but I suppose it was more along the lines of wanting to fit in. Those of us that live in the ER are close-knit and vicious against those we perceive as outsiders somehow. And once you're an outsider, it's extremely difficult to get back on the inside.
The sound of a profound sigh brings me back from my mental meanderings. Shaking my head, I look over to see Kerry leaning heavily against the wall on the other side of the ambulance bay doors. She stares out at the fat snowflakes falling to splat wetly against the slush already coating the pavement. I can see her surreptitiously rubbing at her hip, and I have to wonder if she even realizes I'm there. The surgery was a pretty intense experience for her, and it's been hard on her since she came back.
My eyes are drawn back to the snow for a moment. It's not a normal circumstance for snow to fall in early May, but it has happened before. It's just not usually so heavy. If it stays cold enough, this shit will turn to ice pretty damned easily.
"Do you ever wonder if the universe is out to get you?" Her soft question confuses me for a long moment.
"Hunh?" Oh, that's really smooth, Lockhart!
With the hint of a mischievous smirk, she repeats her question more slowly. I'm unable to stop myself from sticking my tongue out at her. She makes her way slowly across the pavement to stand next to me, and I can't keep my eyes off her. I hadn't thought there'd ever be a more beautiful sight than seeing Kerry Weaver walking on a regular basis without the aid of her crutch. Even now, barely two months past her surgery, I can see her hand moving for the crutch out of a lifetime of habit. As if catching herself, she moves to rub at her hip again.
"I guess I hadn't thought about it recently," I reply finally. "I mean, I've gotten used to the world shitting on me, so I guess I don't think about it consciously."
Kerry nods, her eyes drifting out to the snow again. I can't help but study her profile. She's been distant recently, pretty much since she started seriously considering the surgery. Hell, it's been since she took over as Chief of Staff. I've missed her presence in the ER. Once or twice a month to keep up her skills just isn't enough anymore. It's not the same.
"Do you still feel that way, Abby?" Once again, her soft question pulls me from my reverie; only this time, I can hear the heavy lacing of self-doubt in her voice.
I blink and realize she's studying my reaction to her question. Chewing at my lower lip, I shake my head. "No, I guess not. I mean, things have been different for a while now, but nothing wholly shitty, you know?"
"I think I know what you mean." Her eyes go distant for just a moment, and I'm drawn to the play of emotions running across her face. After a long moment, her eyes refocus and she turns away shyly. "Abby, do you think I was wrong in accepting the Chief of Staff position?"
Do I? I don't know. Not that it was my decision in the first place. And I tell her as much. Her exasperated expression tells me I haven't said anything she didn't already know, and I sheepishly grin. "Okay, let me try that again. Who else would have taken the position at the time? Anspaugh? He's already done it and walked away when Romano wanted to take over. The only other real option they had was to bring in someone from the outside, someone who didn't know this hospital or its personnel. You did, Kerry, and you still do. But your heart isn't in the paperwork and the politics. I don’t think it ever has been. At the heart of it, you've always been most concerned about the patients, even if other people don't see it that way."
"Thank you," she replies, open honesty and gratitude gleaming in her eyes. "I didn't think anyone really cared enough to pay any attention beyond the bitch."
I snort and shake my head. "The bitch is necessary, and is widely reviled, I admit it. But at the same time, there's more to you than that one side of your personality. I mean, there's the doctor, the politician, the woman, the mother, the lover…" I realize belatedly what I've just said and grimace at her wince of pain. "I'm sorry, Kerry, that was insensitive of me."
"No, it's all right, Abby," she replies quickly, eyes shuttering off against the brief flare of loss there. "It's been hard since Sandy… It's been hard, but I'm surviving. I have to, for Henry's sake."
"And your own," I add. "Your needs and your wellbeing are just as important as Henry's, you know."
Kerry's lips curl up into a self-deprecating smile that I have come to know well. "I'm a mother now, Abby. Don't you know that means I don't have a libido any longer?"
I burst out into delighted laughter, relieved when Kerry's own amusement joins mine. "Yeah, right. If that was the case, all mothers would have one child and one child only. Try again, Weaver."
She turns to slap my arm, but suddenly hisses in pain as a hand goes to her hip. Without thinking, I stretch out a hand to steady her against the wall. Once I know she won't go anywhere, I lightly probe around her hand.
"It's okay, Abby," she mutters through clenched teeth. "I'm still a little sore. It'll pass in a moment."
I look pointedly at her and shake my head. "Uh-uh, Kerry. That's not gonna fly this time. You stay right here. I'll get you a wheelchair and we'll head back inside to check this out."
"Abby--"
"Better to be safe than sorry, Kerry," I reply. "Now stay here. I'll be right back."
I don't give her time to disagree, and head into the ER. It only takes a moment to grab a wheelchair and secure a room before I head back outside. Kerry's leaning heavily against the wall, head down as she absently rubs at her hip. This could be worse than expected, but I'm hoping it's just her body dealing with a new hip and the weather. Gently I touch her shoulder.
"I don't need that thing," she snaps, but doesn't stop me as I help her settle into the wheelchair. She sags back and lets her head fall to stare up at me. "Why are you being so nice to me, Abby?"
"Because everyone deserves a friend, Kerry," I reply honestly as we start making our way back inside. "Because I'm a doctor who believes in helping my patients. You know I learned that from a very wise woman I know. Perhaps you know her, too?"
Kerry snorts in bemusement at me. "Has anyone ever told you you're a serious pain in the ass sometimes?"
"You do, every chance you get. So does Frank, but he doesn't really count, you know?" Relieved at both her chuckle and the fact that the ER is oddly quiet, I head into the room I've secured for Kerry. I'm very careful as I help Kerry onto the bed, and as I examine her hip.
"It'll be fine," she says through gritted teeth.
"Of course, it will," I reply, not stopping my examination. Satisfied there's no lasting damage, I rub my hands together and begin to gently massage her hip. The surgery helped, but didn't get rid of a lifetime of damage. When she makes small noises of protest, I shush her and continue. Kerry grows quiet and pliant under my hands, but I've no intentions of stopping until I know she's relaxed enough not to aggravate this hip again.
"Abby?" she murmurs in an almost sleepy tone.
"Yes, Kerry?"
"Marry me?" she asks around a jaw-popping yawn.
"Sure," I reply with a smirk. "But only if you'll take on my student loans."
"If you can keep up a massage like this on a regular basis and make me forget the pain, I'll pay whatever loans you want me to."
I chuckle softly and lean over to press my lips to her temple. "Rest now, Kerry, and we'll discuss the sleeping arrangements later. If we need you before the end of your shift, I'll come get you. Otherwise, I'll see you in a few hours, okay?"
She mutters something that vaguely sounds like a thank you, and shifts on the bed. I quietly find a blanket in the cupboard and cover her before drawing the blinds and heading out of the room. Kerry Weaver has no idea what her seemingly innocent request means to me, and I doubt she'll ever understand. But the memory of her smile, her unaided walk, will last me a lifetime.