B5 FIC :: "Love and Nightmares Triptych: Storge" [Susan Ivanova, PG13]
Title: Love and Nightmares Triptych: Storge
Author: A. Magiluna Stormwriter
Author's Email: stormwriter@shatterstorm.net
Pairing: Susan/Talia [eventually]
Rating: PG13
Date Written: 21-22 February 2010
Written for
purimgifts 2010
Recipient:
bessemerprocess
Word Count: 526
Summary: Susan Ivanova has been plagued her entire life by nightmares and issues with love.
Spoilers: Just consider Susan and Talia's storylines fair game, okay?
Disclaimer: "Babylon 5," the characters and situations depicted are the property of J. Michael Straczynski, Babylonian Productions, Warner Brothers, etc. They are borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement. This story is in no way affiliated with "Babylon 5," J. Michael Straczynski, the production companies, or any representatives of the actors.
Author's Notes: I have this not-so-secret love affair with Susan Ivanova. It's been slowly building up over the years. A fic here, a fic there, and then suddenly, this muse was firmly entrenched in my brain. And she's not exactly... polite when she wants to be the focus of attention. And with Susan, Talia must come along. Of course. They're steeped in angst, which is so apropos, and yet they have a playful tenderness that I really like.
Love is a recurring theme for Susan, which is why I chose to incorporate that into this series of stories. Actually, it was the nightmares that started it, but because they're tied into her relationship with her mother, I snapped up the idea of intertwining them with her issues of love. It was an interesting set up to write, particularly in using a different POV for each story. I kind of like how it turned out.
Background information on the Greek meanings of love came from here, here, and here. Slightly more specific information can be found on storge, agape, and eros.
Dedication: my muses, as always…
Beta:
cuspofqueens and
shatterpath
"Love and Nightmares Triptych: Storge"
By A. Magiluna Stormwriter
As a child, my mother told me so many incredible stories about faeries, and elves, and all sorts of other mystical, magical creatures. Until her death, those stories were the stuff of legends for me, fantastical worlds and beings that could whisk away naughty little children who didn't listen to their mothers. I can't count the nights I would lie awake long after I should have been asleep, fearful that every little noise was would herald the arrival of one of those fantastical creatures coming to take me away because I'd disobeyed. To this day, there are certain sounds that send a jolt of terror down my spine for just a brief moment before my adult rationality takes over again. Such is the curse of an eidetic memory.
You know, every time it happened, before the Sleepers, my mother just knew. She'd come to my room and wrap me up in her arms and her love. I could feel her love envelop me like nothing I'd ever felt before. I'd tearfully confess and apologize for what I'd done, and she forgave me every single time. It was that blissful communion that I lost when she was discovered to be a telepath and began taking the Sleepers.
When the Sleepers' side effects finally took their toll, my mother took her life. Long before she died, I'd had little time for such childish things like faeries and magical worlds of make believe. Between my studies abroad and making sure my family was cared for while my mother's depression worsened, I couldn't take the time for myself. It felt too selfish, too irresponsible, to lose myself in flights of fancy like faeries and 'happily ever after'. Those were things that didn't exist in my family.
It wasn't until I felt Ganya's death that I realized just how tenuous my hold on the realities of life really was. I should never have been able to experience the moment of his death, and yet I did. It was the first time anything of a telepathic nature ever happened to me, other than those childhood moments with my mother. Ganya and Papa didn't even know about my latent telepathy, so how did I feel Ganya's death? It's a question I'll probably never have an answer for.
Is it crazy that as I've grown older, accepted my own mortality, and realized that I am the last of my lineage, I have been thinking of those stories my mother told me as a child? There are times I find myself reliving the memories of her stories: I can smell the powder she put on after her baths, I can hear her voice as she tells me the stories, I can feel her arms surrounding me. Most importantly, I can feel her love. It's like she's here again. And if I close my eyes, I almost think I can see those faeries she always told me about.
If I'm lucky, they'll come and take me away. I've been such a naughty daughter all these years. I haven't allowed myself to miss her, to miss any of them. No wonder I've never been able to love.
Image originally located here, but found via
muse_prompts
Author: A. Magiluna Stormwriter
Author's Email: stormwriter@shatterstorm.net
Pairing: Susan/Talia [eventually]
Rating: PG13
Date Written: 21-22 February 2010
Written for
purimgifts 2010
Recipient:
bessemerprocess
Word Count: 526
Summary: Susan Ivanova has been plagued her entire life by nightmares and issues with love.
Spoilers: Just consider Susan and Talia's storylines fair game, okay?
Disclaimer: "Babylon 5," the characters and situations depicted are the property of J. Michael Straczynski, Babylonian Productions, Warner Brothers, etc. They are borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement. This story is in no way affiliated with "Babylon 5," J. Michael Straczynski, the production companies, or any representatives of the actors.
Author's Notes: I have this not-so-secret love affair with Susan Ivanova. It's been slowly building up over the years. A fic here, a fic there, and then suddenly, this muse was firmly entrenched in my brain. And she's not exactly... polite when she wants to be the focus of attention. And with Susan, Talia must come along. Of course. They're steeped in angst, which is so apropos, and yet they have a playful tenderness that I really like.
Love is a recurring theme for Susan, which is why I chose to incorporate that into this series of stories. Actually, it was the nightmares that started it, but because they're tied into her relationship with her mother, I snapped up the idea of intertwining them with her issues of love. It was an interesting set up to write, particularly in using a different POV for each story. I kind of like how it turned out.
Background information on the Greek meanings of love came from here, here, and here. Slightly more specific information can be found on storge, agape, and eros.
Dedication: my muses, as always…
Beta:
cuspofqueens and
shatterpath
"Love and Nightmares Triptych: Storge"
By A. Magiluna Stormwriter
As a child, my mother told me so many incredible stories about faeries, and elves, and all sorts of other mystical, magical creatures. Until her death, those stories were the stuff of legends for me, fantastical worlds and beings that could whisk away naughty little children who didn't listen to their mothers. I can't count the nights I would lie awake long after I should have been asleep, fearful that every little noise was would herald the arrival of one of those fantastical creatures coming to take me away because I'd disobeyed. To this day, there are certain sounds that send a jolt of terror down my spine for just a brief moment before my adult rationality takes over again. Such is the curse of an eidetic memory.
You know, every time it happened, before the Sleepers, my mother just knew. She'd come to my room and wrap me up in her arms and her love. I could feel her love envelop me like nothing I'd ever felt before. I'd tearfully confess and apologize for what I'd done, and she forgave me every single time. It was that blissful communion that I lost when she was discovered to be a telepath and began taking the Sleepers.
When the Sleepers' side effects finally took their toll, my mother took her life. Long before she died, I'd had little time for such childish things like faeries and magical worlds of make believe. Between my studies abroad and making sure my family was cared for while my mother's depression worsened, I couldn't take the time for myself. It felt too selfish, too irresponsible, to lose myself in flights of fancy like faeries and 'happily ever after'. Those were things that didn't exist in my family.
It wasn't until I felt Ganya's death that I realized just how tenuous my hold on the realities of life really was. I should never have been able to experience the moment of his death, and yet I did. It was the first time anything of a telepathic nature ever happened to me, other than those childhood moments with my mother. Ganya and Papa didn't even know about my latent telepathy, so how did I feel Ganya's death? It's a question I'll probably never have an answer for.
Is it crazy that as I've grown older, accepted my own mortality, and realized that I am the last of my lineage, I have been thinking of those stories my mother told me as a child? There are times I find myself reliving the memories of her stories: I can smell the powder she put on after her baths, I can hear her voice as she tells me the stories, I can feel her arms surrounding me. Most importantly, I can feel her love. It's like she's here again. And if I close my eyes, I almost think I can see those faeries she always told me about.
If I'm lucky, they'll come and take me away. I've been such a naughty daughter all these years. I haven't allowed myself to miss her, to miss any of them. No wonder I've never been able to love.
Image originally located here, but found via
muse_prompts