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[arhra_mor]

Is changing yourself for someone else worthwhile; if that someone doesn't take the time to notice the change?

Comments

[shadebeyond]

As long as the person being changed feels it is worthwhile.
And before you even reply ... the answer is, I don't know.

[olyve_joi]

i would have to say that all depends on the motivations behind the change.....if you genuinely feel you are doing it to better yourself...then fucking 'a' ...but i don't know the circumstances behind this post so.........

[arhra_mor]

I didn't say changing yourself to become a better person. I said changing yourself for someone else. Sacrifice my dear.

[olyve_joi]

and what is it that you're willing to sacrifice dear heart....or better still...who is it you're sacrificing for?

[beyond_3]

No No and No, I would never recommend changing yourself for any other reason than purely wanting to change. Now if you want to change for someone else (key word being want), go for it, but if it truly is something you want to do, it shouldn't matter if the person notices.

Preservation of self comes first and foremost

[mancemor]

"Making an effort to change yourself" implies that the change is inherently temporary, atleast in my own experience (and don't get me wrong, I don't think my experience applies for everyone). Whenever I made an effort to change myself, whatever the change may be, I was successful in personal goals but a failure when I did it for someone else. That doesn't necessarily mean selfish reasons exclusively dictate a person's ability to change themselves, but every time I've made the effort to suit someone else's wants or perceived appreciation, I've noticed two things: It makes me miserable and it doesn't last very long.

You ask if it's worth it if the person doesn't take the time to notice the change... You just gotta be yourself, and if someone notices a change for better or worse, thats the way the cookie crumbles. "Be yourself" is one of those sayings you hear all the time, but it's a lot easier said than done.

[anonymous]

If you have to ask that question, then no.

There is no doubt that people change all the time. What and how you change depend on the dynamics of the relationship (and yes, you may change for the worse). You then need to look at yourself. Are you happier with the "new and improved" you and the relationship? If you are, what are you complaining about? :) Otherwise, you need to decide whether you want to change for yourself or not.