Fic: Breathe (Draco/Hermione, 1/2)

[argosy]

And now, due to overwhelming demand (well, bambu345 wanted a link for this story, and kazfeist has been seeming a bit antsy) I present to you my dmhgficexchange piece from ahem, last summer. But it's never been on my LJ! And it's been slightly rewritten! And some of you won't have seen it before!

And besides, it gives me an excuse to use this again:

Comments

[kit_84]

Yep! "New" Breathe!
As soon as I finish my examinations, I'll go through my translation and add and change what has to be added and changed. :)

[argosy]

Well there's not that much different, honestly, so you really don't have too...

[empress_izzy]

Reading this made me think two things. First, where's the next part?!, and second - you're so awfully good at this, at writing. Have you any idea how absolutely amazed I am at the smoothness of the storytelling, and all the thought-evoking little points you make? Congratulations to you for being so brilliant.

[argosy]

Aww, what a lovely compliment, thank you. You've made my day. :)

Umm... you did manage to find Part 2, right? It's linked at the bottom of Part One. :)

[verdenia]

You said:
Harry had killed him, as he’d been destined to since he was three months old.

According to the Lexicon timeline, the prophecy was made in the winter before Harry's birth.

I suggest changing the line to, "Harry had killed him, as he’d been destined to since before he was born."

Or, "since he was fifteen months old", as that is when Voldie 'marked him as his equal'

Otherwise, great fic! ;D

[argosy]

Hmm, see I reaad the timeline and thought Harry was 3 months old when his parents died... You're probably right and I was a year off, though, I'll check into it. :)

[kazfeist]

One of my favorite scenes, in this part, is where Draco looks at Hermione and sort of asks her to get him more money. I always picture him with a sort of half-hopeful look on his face. Kind of a Hugh Grant one, you know? :D

[argosy]

Yeah I like that scene too. Thanks. :)