Moments Like These
Rating PG-13
Word Count 8,495
Pairings Baekyeol, side!Kaisoo
Summary Baekhyun makes being in love easy.
They’ve been together for a long time, Chanyeol realizes.
He’s rarely reflective, but there’s something about sitting alone at a table for two, about the dimmed lights, about the shadows from the flickering candlelight dancing over the off-white linen tablecloth, about the low murmur of cordial conversation and faint tinkles of silver on china in a fine dining setting.
About waiting for Baekhyun for their anniversary dinner.
They say that time runs more quickly with each passing year. The added seconds, minutes, days, months, years, the added extensions of existence make each finer moment a smaller moment within the grander scheme.
And Chanyeol supposes they’re right. He hasn’t really noticed how they’ve comfortably slipped into their sixth year, how their sixth month anniversary didn’t seem that long ago, or how they’ve spent the better part of decade together.
The better part of half a decade. His eyebrows lift slightly as he leans back heavily, back thudding against the black leather upholstery. Somehow, that makes Chanyeol feel old.
(But really, he’s still only 27.)
~o~
Their first meeting doesn’t feel like it happened just yesterday. But it doesn’t feel like 6 years ago. Or more than 312 weeks ago. Or more than 2,184 days ago.
And really, it came out of nowhere.
Hey you’re not seeing anyone right now right? Kyungsoo nonchalantly asked, plucking at the grains of rice in his metallic bowl.
Chanyeol paused with a particularly large scoop of steaming bibambap halfway between his face and his bowl. No...uh...why?
Just wondering.
Uh...okay. Chanyeol began to move the spoon towards his mouth again. When it was just about to pass his lips, he stopped and frowned, lowering the spoon. You know I just like you as a friend.
Not that, Kyungsoo pretended to throw up. Who would want to date you anyway?
Ouch. Chanyeol began to move the spoon again.
Actually... Kyungsoo muttered, staring off into space. Actually...
Chanyeol waited for a good minute, watching the steam emitted from his scoop dwindle. Actually...what?
I have this friend.
Whoa, Chanyeol lowers his spoon and asked sarcastically. You have friends?
Kyungsoo ignored Chanyeol, He’s just moved into the area, and he’s single too.
Not interested. Chanyeol shoved the scoop of bibambap into his mouth.
Just meet him once.
Not interested.
He lives close, just talk to him for five minutes. I think you’ll like him; he’s a really awesome guy.
No me interesa.
What?
Oh yeah you took French, huh. Uh, let’s see, Chanyeol flopped his head to one side and waved his spoon. Je ne suis pas...interested.
At the rate you’re going, you’re going to die single.
Like you’re one to talk.
Hey, I don’t have four volumes of ‘Cooking for One!’
Well you should, because it’s fucking efficient, Chanyeol snorted.
And I haven’t been living on single-serving packages of instant ramen.
No regrets, that shit is delicious.
And I’m not the one that’s been going steady with my hand for 20 years.
Chanyeol dropped his spoon. Okay that was low.
Kyungsoo shrugged. Prove me wrong then.
Fine, give me his fucking number. Chanyeol groaned.
Even better, I’ll give you his address.
But I’m going to look fucking creepy.
Great, showing your true colors.
Why am I friends with you again?
You’ll thank me for this later.
Chanyeol really didn’t like that smirk on Kyungsoo’s face as he ripped off the corner of the napkin neatly and extended it out to Chanyeol like some sort of prize.
I’m doing this for you, not because I think my social life is pathetic, got that? Chanyeol sulked as he snatched the scrap. He glanced at the name, ‘Byun Baekhyun,’ before he jammed the address into his pocket. And no guarantees I’ll even talk to this guy.
Whatever, Kyungsoo dismissed Chanyeol with a knowing smile. Just make me your best man if and when you guys get married.
.
Somehow, later that night Chanyeol found himself at the doorstep of a fairly nice apartment complex, awkwardly slouching in his classy-ass sweater-dress-shirt-jeans combo.
He poised his hand to knock on the oak door before retracting it and checking out his hair in the reflection of his phone for the seventh time. Just about when he was ready to decide whether that strand of hair looked better one millimeter to the left or one millimeter to the right, the door swung open.
Do you need something? Someone-presumably Baekhyun-cautiously asked, peering around the door. He ran his hand through his hair in a half-assed attempt to make it neater. As he stepped around the door, Chanyeol cringed when he noted that he draped with a neon-yellow oversized t-shirt and tucked into a pair of bright red pajama pajamas pants.
Chanyeol took in the disheveled hair as the guy sleepily rubbed his eye with one hand and loosely clutched a toothbrush with the other. Are you Baekhyun?
Yeah, Baekhyun yawned. Uh, the complex has a policy against solicitation-
No, I’m a friend of Kyungsoo’s. Chanyeol hastily interrupted. Chanyeol. P-Park, Chanyeol.
Oh, a friend of Kyungsoo’s. Baekhyun’s face slipped into an unreadable expression. Oh. In that case...
Through a mouth half-full of toothpaste and with a hand gripping the door, Baekhyun explained very politely (as his eyes shifted apathetically from Chanyeol’s artfully moussed hair to his new Vans) that no, sorry, he wasn’t interested, not to take it personally because this was the tenth time Kyungsoo had tried to set him up, and it was (he sighed as he checked his phone) 11:30 pm so he really needed to go to sleep soon.
Baekhyun paused for a moment, regarding Chanyeol with sleepy eyes as he scratched his scalp and started to brush his teeth again, allowing Chanyeol to nod dumbly for a minute and a half. Then after an insincere mumble of ‘well nice meeting you’ through the toothbrush clamped between his teeth, Baekhyun snapped the door solidly shut in Chanyeol’s face.
Chanyeol really wasn’t hurt. If anything, he was less than impressed.
(But it was still a long train ride home.)
~o~
Their next encounter occurred a year later.
Chanyeol, running late to his Econometrics class, burst into the lecture hall, scooted awkwardly through the last row, and collapsed in the last available seat.
Hey did Professor Jung already erase the quiz dates, Chanyeol hurriedly whispered to his seat neighbor, ducking down and yanking a notebook from his bag.
Yeah, but I copied them down. Here I’ll get them for you. The voice sounded familiar, but Chanyeol didn’t think much of it until the owner of brown mop of hair flipped around.
Chanyeol gaped.
Are you going to take it or what, an impatient Baekhyun looked down at the extended notebook and back at Chanyeol.
Ye-yeah. Thanks, Chanyeol took the notebook and quickly wrote the dates down.
Chanyeol spent the rest of the lecture glancing at Baekhyun through the corner of his eye, checking to see if there was any spark of recognition. At the end of the lecture, Chanyeol heaved a sigh of relief, thankful he could take a particularly embarrassing moment to his grave, until-
Nice seeing you again, Kyungsoo’s friend. Baekhyun motioned at Chanyeol’s shoes. I like your Vans, they still look just as new.
Chanyeol’s blood froze, and he looked up to see a devilish grin painted across Baekhyun’s face.
See you on tomorrow at the discussion session, Chanyeol.
.
He quickly finds he likes Baekhyun.
No, not in that way, Chanyeol pushed away Kyungsoo’s head. He’s just a really chill guy. We also happen to know a lot of the same people, have the same interests, he’s funny, he’s smart....what?
Chanyeol trailed off, creeped out by Kyungsoo’s grin.
No, Chanyeol slapped his forehead. Not in that way.
Whatever you say, Kyungsoo turned back to his homework. Just remember, your future best man is right here.
Chanyeol rolled his eyes and slid his Econ book into his bag.
Hey, where are you going?
To the beach.
Kyungsoo’s eyes light up. Can I go too?
No.
Why?
It’s just Baekhyun and me.
Oh, Kyungsoo’s eyes twinkle. It’s that sort of trip.
Shut up. He hasn’t been there before, so I’m just going to show him around.
Best man, Kyungsoo whispered loudly, creating his own echo as Chanyeol walked away. Best man, best man, best...
.
It was admiration, Chanyeol told himself. Just sheer, platonic admiration.
It made sense. There was a lot to admire about Baekhyun.
Like how he excelled at everything he did. But how he dismissed the idea that he was naturally smart, and pinpointed everything on how hard he worked (and he worked hard). How he gave it his all, on tests, on work, on singing. Even on the most inane of things, like organizing his drawers.
How he was the guy who remembered everyone’s names, majors, and birthdates. How he was the guy who bothered to check up on even the most distant of friends from time to time. How he was the guy everyone missed when he was away, and the guy everyone cheered for when he returned.
How he bothered to be Chanyeol’s friend.
It explained a lot. Like how Chanyeol enjoyed every second spent with him. Why he looked forward to waking up every day and attending those econ lectures. And why Chanyeol spoke to people about Baekhyun with some sort of (weirdly-cute, Jongin described it) friend pride.
It just didn’t explain how recently Chanyeol’s heartbeat skipped a little faster when he saw Baekhyun, how his palms would grow sweaty, how his lips would dry, how he would occasionally find himself at a loss of words, and how his wandering eyes would somehow always make it to Baekhyun’s face every goddamn time, resting there until Baekhyun noticed.
It didn’t explain the dreams either, the ones that started last week, the ones filled with hidden desires, the ones he felt ashamed of having in the morning, but secretly looked forward to having at night.
(The ones that were becoming so intimate, Chanyeol would have to avoid Baekhyun for the rest of the day.)
.
It hits him a semester and a half later.
You mean you just accepted it, Kyungsoo raps his knuckles against the table. He gestures to Jongin and them to himself, We, if not everyone you know, knew this from the start.
As Chanyeol raises a hand and opens his mouth to retaliate, he realizes, damn, they’re probably right. So he holds back what would have been unintelligible sputters, puts down his arm, and closes his mouth.
He had felt it before, unpleasant twinges of the heart whenever Baekhyun opted to talk to girls like Taeyeon, hands loosely jammed in pockets, grinning down at that ideal angle (and at the perfect kissing height, 4 inches, a small voice would whisper in Chanyeol’s mind before he snubbed it) as the girl tittered away.
But he figured, routine bromance jealously.
It was when Chanyeol had felt it the other day, a brief flash of mad jealousy, when Baekhyun had borrowed a book, just a book, from Yixing instead of him, Chanyeol realized he was in way more fucking deep than he had thought.
Why don’t you just ask him out? Jongin shook Chanyeol from his thoughts.
I can’t.
Because Chanyeol’s terrified of what comes next, the constant anxiety, the constant pouring and combing over minutiae like how long they held eye contact, the constant worry of being annoying, the semantics of “want to hang out,” and whether or not “I’m busy,” means Baekhyun’s actually busy or he’s just blowing Chanyeol off.
How this compounds over the stress of being an upperclassman, taking harder classes, planning the next stage of his life.
And how he already feels that there’s a 90% chance this will ruin the nice, regular, platonic relationship they have.
You don’t know that. Jongin blinked as he stacked his books.
There’s absolutely no reason for him to like me. Chanyeol moped.
You guys are like connected at the hip. Jongin zipped his backpack up. I’m pretty sure he’s fine with your existence.
Have you seen the way he looks at Taeyeon? Chanyeol buries his head in the crook of his arms.
Have you seen the way he looks at any of his friends? Jongin shouldered his backpack. It all kind of looks the same to me. Hell, he looks the same way at rice and galbi.
If anything, Kyungsoo chimed in. His eyes shine the brightest whenever he spots you.
There’s a part of Chanyeol that would like to believe him, and then there’s a part that just can’t.
Really? Jongin grabbed the straps on his backpack and gave a little jump to shift it. There’s so much adoration it’s almost disgusting.
Chanyeol’s heart skipped a little before he quelled it. Thanks, but I’d like you to not get my hopes up. I’m in the process of burying them, I’d like to let them rest in peace.
Hey, Kyungsoo paused at the door.
Chanyeol looked up, and he’s thrown off by the maturity Kyungsoo’s exuding, his stature, the semi-concerned look in his face, the-he wanted to say motherly-tone in his voice.
And it’s just one more thing in a long list that’s changed, and he feels like he wants to reach out and stop the world mid-tilt, because everything, his feelings, his friends, his future, was changing and careening out of control-
You’re allowed to grab happiness for yourself sometimes, you know that? Kyungsoo said as he waves Jongin off. You just have to extend the hand and take the risk.
(But rejection’s not something Chanyeol’s sure he can take.)
.
It’s at a party-it always is-when it slips out.
Chanyeol likes to think he classily slid the question towards Baekhyun, beer in hand, elbow on table, down two glasses but still perfectly sober.
But Baekhyun will remind him later how those two glasses got him perfectly smashed, and forget sliding the question, Chanyeol nearly vomited it into Baekhyun’s lap.
Somehow his intention to ask for another beer and his pent-up attraction combined and manifested itself into Chanyeol flopping drunkenly towards Baekhyun and burbling, Can you grab-hic-a date with me?
Baekhyun just looked at Chanyeol, shifting his legs away as Chanyeol held back a particularly violent heave, and gently patted his shoulder. Come back to me sober, and then I’ll think about it.
After tottering around and grabbing a beer himself, Chanyeol attempted to focus on the frothing liquid through the small circle of glass bottleneck, wondering if that was a subtle rejection, and whether or not he could drink the embarrassment away.
(Unfortunately when he woke up the next day, curled up on the cold tile next to Kris’ toilet, the memories were still just as fresh. And his head hurt like hell.)
.
It took Chanyeol another week to build up the courage to call Baekhyun out.
After 20 minutes of waiting on the stone steps of the social sciences department, Chanyeol started to get antsy, wiping the sweaty palms of his hands on his jeans before he took out his phone and fiddled with it, opening and closing random applications to pass the time. He briefly wondered whether he had been stood up, until he checked the time (2:50pm), and remembered that he was so nervous that he had shown up 30 minutes early.
Baekhyun turned the corner a (particularly loud) heartbeat after the clock tower struck 3, hands jammed in pockets as he shuffled towards the building. As a cover for any extraneous enthusiasm, Chanyeol crouched down over a step and opened Temple Run, faking the tilting movements as he inconspicuously watched Baekhyun trudge up the steps in his peripherals.
When Baekhyun reached Chanyeol, he stopped on the step right in front of Chanyeol. They stayed like that for a good minute, Chanyeol stooped over a step and staring at Baekhyun’s converse over his phone.
Oh I didn’t see you there, Chanyeol finally looked up with a motion he considered suave.
Really, Baekhyun looked down. You know, the game’s a lot more fun when you press start.
Chanyeol peered at his phone and was greeted by the start menu glowing on the screen. He embarrassedly shoved the device in his pocket.
Well whatever, Baekhyun turned around and started trumping back down the steps.
W-wait, Chanyeol feebly called out.
Baekhyun turned around, eyebrows raised, and Chanyeol’s breath caught in his throat.
Uh, Chanyeol stalled.
Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol. Aren’t you coming?
Wait...what?
We’re going on a date, Baekhyun pulled out two movie tickets from his pocket. You better not have been rambling when you said you wanted to see The Avengers, because I went all out and bought the IMAX screening and shit. These were fucking expensive.
Chanyeol stared at the tickets, mouth gaping as he pointed to himself and then to Baekhyun in disbelief.
Come on, we’re going to be late, Baekhyun resumed climbing down the stairs. If you’re not going, I’ll sit in two seats and watch it by myself.
(And as Chanyeol flies down the steps, taking three at a time, he can’t help but think that this is the beginning of something incredible.)
~o~
part i | part ii