Hard Battles, Part 6

[archraven1234]

Tada again! Sorry it's late - been busy. =)
Enjoy!

“You!” Sam snarled. He glared at the man before him, hands forming fists, ready to punch. He stepped forward with intent, but was startled out of his actions by Gene’s booming voice.

“Brody, old boy! How the bloody hell are ye?”

Sam gawked with surprise as a grinning Gene strode past him to shake the

Comments

[mountland]

When ever I hear that song from Mulan I am going to think of you be singing your lines because they are sooooooo cool "swift as a coursing cortina" <3

ooo brody/payne is a nasty piece of work - I feel so scared for Sam.

I love the idea of Gene sitting by the window with a bat to protect Sam.

[archraven1234]

Thanks! Great that you liked the Mulan song - I wasn't sure if people would get it!
You're right to feel scared for Sam! *laughs maniacally* - I don't know why I like torturing Sam so much...
Protective Gene is so cute!

[edzel2]

I enjoyed this a lot! Will have to go back and read 1- 5 now...

Did notice a few typo's- d'you mind if I point them out?

1. " But then Brody’s face flashed across Sam’s eyes, the velvety tone of voice, the irascible smirk, and Sam knew that he had the right man. It’s been three years since he last faced Pein*," * I think you meant 'Payne'

2. " “Guv! I know it’s him! I remember his face!” Sam yelled, infuriated by Gene’s disbelieve*." s/be 'disbelief'

[archraven1234]

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Thank you for pointing out the typos - will try to be more careful next time! =)

*1.I really sorry about this, but I think I've made my Payne character too confusing:
In 1973, he's Payne, and his alias is Brody.
In 2006, he was Pein.

[dorsetgirl]

's all right - I got the Pein/Payne thing (I remember being puzzled when it first came up, but I read back through whatever chapter that was), so yeah maybe a little confusing but not too much. The main thing is, you're being consistent, so it's solvable.

[archraven1234]

Thank you! Protective Gene is really cute!

[fern_tree]

*HEARTATTACK*

Brody is CREEPY. I love how Gene already knows him like an old friend. Didn't see that coming at all! Poor Gene... when he finds out, he's gonna be devastated. Like Mountlandlass I feel so scared for Sam! You've done a really good job building up the sense of foreboding.

The drunken section was brilliant also... Mulan! *laughs* And then the mood switches so quickly, with Sam clinging to Gene like that and apologising <3 Poor Sam!

Loved Gene seeing the black van through the curtains! Just another harsh reminder of what could've happened that night if Gene hadn't been there. Awwww! And Sam waking up to find Gene sitting by the window with a bat! <3

I adore this fic! Can't wait for mooooooreeeeeee *bounces*

[archraven1234]

Glad you liked it!=)
Poor Gene - he gets betrayed by so many people - but we love the angst! =) You're right to feel scared for Sam - Brody really is a nasty piece of work!
I was forced to watch Mulan last night and just had to put the song in! =)And I love fics where there's a drunken Sam!
Protective Gene = love!
Thank you for commenting! =]

[dorsetgirl]

Wonderful chapter; it's terrifying that Moon has actually admitted to Sam who he is, because that means he fully intends to kill Sam, and very soon.

I love that you let Gene see just that tiny flash in his eyes, just enough to get Gene worried and taking Sam a little more seriously.

I just have to say, I adore this series, and your plotting and characterisation are excellent!

Just a note:

Sam knew that he had the right man. It’s been three years since he last faced Pein...

You have the wrong tense there. It should be "It had been three years... [pluperfect tense, 'past in the past']

I think you might have done the same thing on other occasions, too, but I haven't got time to re-read atm, sorry.

[archraven1234]

Thank you for your comment! =)I'm really happy that you like it!

Sorry for the mistake - I really should take better care when writing! Thank you for noticing! =)