[01/02] Friendzone
Friendzone
Sakurai. Friends. Just.
September 2012
Summary
Sakurai Sho tries to stop his best friend from getting married.
A/N
[23.37, 14 September 2012] I haven’t written in so long. *Sigh* I miss it so much.
My favorite local author, Mina V. Esguerra, has a book called My Imaginary Ex. For people who’ve read it, this story will seem familiar. For those who have not read the book yet - and have the means to read it - I suggest you get hooked to Mina V. Esguerra, too. She’s an amazing author, and person.
PS National Bookstore seems to be having a Summit Chick Lit Sale - back copies of everything at PhP75. At SM North, at least. ::P
I hope you like this! ::D
Disclaimer
The mastermind behind this plot derives no material profit from it. While several people, places, and events exist in reality, everything that follows should be digested with a healthy dose of suspicion.
Warning
I cannot write bromance or erotica to save my life.
The International School of the Sacred Heart is a prestigious school for girls in Hiroo, Tokyo.
Also, I didn’t mean for this to be very long, but it is. It really is.
Words 7, 559
Friendzone
For Arashi
First Half
15 July 2012
23:20
She restrained a frustrated sigh as the blindfold went over her eyes. Muttering to Masayo, who she knew was grinning as she fumbled with the handkerchief, Hanako threatened, “I’ll get you for this someday.”
“Relax,” came the purring reply. “It’s your last week of singlehood. You should be making the most out of it.”
“Just tell the stripper to come out here,” a drunken voice called out from the kitchen. “It isn’t fair that Hanako’s hogging all the fun just because she’s getting married-”
“Shut up, Ruka! It’s Hanako’s party - you keep quiet and concentrate on pouring the juice.”
Hanako raised a skeptical eyebrow, her senses adjusting to her sudden blindness. “Masayo, I’m telling you I don’t need this sort of nonsense-”
She felt a hand press on the small of her back.
“Someday you’ll thank me for this.”
The monotonous hum of female chatter was the last sound she heard before she heard a door snap shut. The air in this new room was colder, like a gentle autumn chill, and Hanako could smell the familiar aroma of expensive perfume. A very male, predatory scent - a sensation that greatly reminded her of the person she least wanted to see.
Hands flying to her blindfold, Hanako struggled for release, finally understanding Masayo’s intentions, finally understanding enough to feel stupid. A pair of cold, large hands - forceful but remarkably calm - touched hers as he struggled to untangle her blindfold, too.
She blinked against the stars in her eyes, the blur in her vision, with the red handkerchief in her hands. He stood before her at a careful distance, gauging her reaction, not smiling.
“Hello, Hana,” Sakurai Sho carefully intoned, his eyes still searching. “We need to talk.”
__
21 April 2012
20:33
They glared at each other over their candlelit dinner, his clenched fists smack between them on the table, her French tips digging into her palm. The night lights of Minato sparkled beyond their window like fireflies, tenderly blinking as they had their first fight. Eight years of being best friends - but it was the first time they had ever clashed like this.
It was worth noting it was the angriest he had ever seen her. She was usually gentle and acquiescing, but tonight she was different. They were in plain sight of the staff of the restaurant he had reserved for this evening, and she looked ready to bust a nerve. But Sho was beside himself, too. “I confess to you and all you can say is I’m being stupid?”
He heard himself scoff as he tore his gaze away, concentrating on a spot in the distance. There was an alien lump forming at the base of his throat, struggling for release. He hated how choked up he felt - why was he being so emotional? “It takes me years to say that and all you can say is I’m being stupid-”
“Will you stop repeating yourself?” she hissed, kicking him from beneath the table. He tried to close his eyes and concentrate on what she was saying, but the anger in her voice was distracting him. “What do you expect me to do? Rejoice that you’ve finally worked that out? Wait for us to be whatever you were expecting us to be - that’s stupid, Sho. You’ve done nothing to deserve anything from me-”
He sensed his jaw fall as his gaze rested on her face. In the dimness of the candle light, her anger seemed to burn, and strangely he regretted never having seen this side of her before. There was so much about her he had taken for granted. “I’m not saying I’m expecting anything - I just want you to know-”
“Too late,” she suddenly shook her head, staring listlessly at the table. She seemed tired, really spent, and somehow he knew he looked the same way. They were going nowhere, and they were wasting their time. He had believed they could be something else, but it seemed he had been wrong. “You’re too late. It’s not going to change anything now-”
“We can work something out.” He tried to reach for her hand on the table, and he was glad she didn’t turn away. “We can take things slowly. We don’t have to rush-”
“Sho, I’m getting married.”
His breath hitched. “You’re getting married?” He blinked. “To Warren?”
“To Warren, yes.”
She looked up from the deep blue tabletop to gauge his expression. It seemed, for a moment, that she was expecting him to say something - the question in her eyes seemed to be waiting for him to speak, almost pleading for the words she was waiting for. But then her expression changed.
She briskly pulled away, silent. He was only vaguely aware of her running from their table, her footsteps racing across the marble floor, away from him.
It was the last time they had spoken properly.
__
16 July 2012
00:09
The door to the bedroom burst open, and Hana-chan flew out in a flurry of footsteps. Masayo, sharing a drunken toast with Ruka and the others, turned around too slowly to see her best friend flying out the front door of the apartment. Seconds later and Sakurai Sho emerged from the bedroom as well, face stony as he flashed one sweeping look across the room with all the party guests. The crowd of women went quiet, drinks half raised towards their lips.
He slowly and politely made a bow, before turning to follow Hana-chan. Masayo stumbled to her feet.
Ignoring the slurred pleas for information that her companions were flinging her way, she raced out the foyer in her barely covered feet, a glass of red wine in her hand. In the corridor, she could hear her best friend and Sakurai arguing in angry, low voices, their rapid whispers reminiscent of the wind in a storm. She stood to watch them from the door of the apartment, the knob in her hand, her back on the cold wood. He was gripping her wrist as she struggled to run away, when she glanced past his shoulder and saw her other best friend watching.
Even while intoxicated, she sensed Hana-chan’s deep anger. “I can’t believe you were in on this, Masayo - what the hell were you thinking?!”
“What’s going on?” a different male voice suddenly called out from behind them. Compelling her leaden limbs to move, Masayo saw it was Warren Hibiki - but Warren Hibiki was supposed to be in Germany, wasn’t he? She had made sure he would be in Germany tonight, just as Sho had asked her to. “What are you doing? Let her go-”
Warren Hibiki rushed forward and pulled his fiancée out of Sho’s grip. The two men stood glaring at each other, and Masayo genuinely felt fear coursing its way through her body. She had never seen Warren Hibiki angry. Sho looked ready to kill.
“Warren, stop.” Hana-chan placed a hand - with those long, elegant fingers Masayo had always, always envied - on Warren Hibiki’s chest. It seemed as though she were hugging him from behind, and the scene would have been something straight out of a romantic movie had all the actors present not been livid. “Warren, he wasn’t going to do anything - stop. He wasn’t going to hurt me-”
“He was practically dragging you, Hanako-!”
“No, he wasn’t - we were just talking.” Hana-chan suddenly started to cry. Masayo had never seen her best friend cry, not even when Sho had started giving her the cold treatment. Hana-chan had never allowed Masayo to see her crying- “Warren, I just want to go home.”
She seemed to be clinging to Warren Hibiki, as though he was the only reason she was still standing. “Warren, please. Let’s just go home-”
Warren Hibiki turned.
Masayo had always known Hana-chan’s fiancé was a decent guy. She had never really liked him, but she knew he was a good man. Seeing her crying so desperately, so despondently, he gently pried her hand from his chest, and held her long fingers in his hands. The gentlest of expressions was whispering through his eyes. “All right, Hanako, all right. Let’s go home.”
Hana-chan allowed herself to be half-carried by this man, the man she would be marrying in one week’s time. Masayo wasn’t even sure she was invited to the wedding anymore.
But she would never regret what she had helped Sho do.
He didn’t stop them as they made their way to the elevators, Hana-chan sobbing quietly into her fiancé’s shoulder as he draped his dark jacket around her small frame. Sho just stood in the middle of the corridor, in his neat blue polo shirt and his pristine chinos, looking dejected and lost. Long after Hana-chan and Warren Hibiki had gone, he just stood there, staring at nothing, a lifeless burn in his eyes.
Before Masayo had realized it, she was crying. She had crumpled herself into a ball by the door, salty tears rolling down her face in waves. Perhaps she was crying with Hana-chan. But she liked to think she was crying for Sho, because she knew he would never cry. He was too proud like her best friend. Maybe Masayo was crying for the both of them.
Behind her, the guests from within the apartment called out in angry, incomprehensible hisses. Their insistent knocks, drumming against the wood by the small of her back, was the only rhythm in the barren hallway, empty and drained of hope.
__
24 December 2011
21:07
Warren could tell - from the moment Hanazawa Masayo laid eyes on him - that they would never become good friends. There was the telltale displeasure on her pretty face, an obvious disapproval that her best friend since kindergarten was dating him. But he was thirty-five and single, a partner at a prestigious firm, and foreign educated - she couldn’t possibly find a reason to dislike him. Yet Warren Hibiki, who prided himself on his ability to read people, knew his girlfriend’s best friend detested him. He thought he was positive why.
Sakurai Sho. They were all supporters of Sakurai Sho, those important people in his girlfriend’s life.
“Sorry about that,” Hanako apologized with a face as Masayo excused herself from their table. They watched as a couple of men’s gazes flickered over to her, as she obliviously flounced towards the toilet. “Masayo’s usually a very gregarious person - maybe she’s just had a long day.”
Warren smiled and shrugged noncommittally. He had always found it strange that Hanako couldn’t see how everyone around her hated him. It made him want to meet Sakurai Sho in the flesh, to at least understand why everybody seemed to prefer him. He couldn’t see why Hanako’s parents and her other best friend seemed to think heaven of a man who was never around anyway. He even found it hard to believe that Hanako’s older brother seemed to disapprove of him, when they were both lawyers, and he had expected a bit more sympathy from someone of the same profession. “It’s a shame your friend Sho couldn’t make it tonight though.”
“Yes, well.” She lapsed into a fit of mournful thinking, scanning the merry, crowded restaurant with unseeing eyes. “It’s Christmas Eve anyway. He has to fulfill his good duty of satisfying a nation of women.” She smirked at him, a strange glint in her eyes. “You’ll meet him someday, I’m sure.”
“I can hardly wait,” Warren replied sincerely, for all the wrong reasons. As he smiled at the woman across the table from him, her elbows resting on the table, her beautiful face at perfect ease, he quietly thanked Sakurai Sho for being so dense. Here was a wonderful woman who was head over heels in love with him, who thought the world of him, and he didn’t even notice - even after eight years.
But maybe he did notice. Only he had decided not to do anything about it.
It’s his loss, Warren thought as he reached for Hanako’s hand. Love was pretty easy when you really thought about it. One man’s loss was another man’s gain - it wasn’t much different from corporate law, it was just another merger. And Warren would be good to her - he had promised himself he would be good to her.
It surprised him how deeply she had crept into his heart, in so little time.
Hanako seemed surprised, but didn’t pull away. She smiled gently at him, and his grin widened. Someday she would learn to love him. Someday, Warren was sure.
__
16 July 2012
06:54
Against the pillows her face rested on, Hanako looked so peaceful.
Warren itched to smoke a cigarette, his fingers twitching with need and anxiety, as he watched her sigh away in her sleep. He loved to watch her sleep, and she would never know. He would never tell her how much she mattered to him, because he sometimes suspected he would never matter the same way to her.
But he was too proud to even bother asking.
Warren sighed heavily as he raised a hand to his tired eyes. He could not remember the last time he had slept - in his hurry to return from Germany, he had done all his work on the flight home. The wedding was to be held in a few days’ time, as his own mother would never tire of reminding him. Sakurai Sho had been invited, of course - was the man holding on to a last bit of hope that Hanako would not leave him?
But if it were him, Warren pondered, he would have done the same thing. He would have been just as desperate.
In her sleep, Hanako fidgeted, mumbling something as she raised a hand to shield her eyes from the sunlight. He had not realized it had started to get light. Jumping to his feet, Warren flew towards the windows, deftly pulling the curtains to a close, his hands working with the thin sheets of fabric before he heard her whisper a name.
It was not his name. It was not the first time she had whispered it in her sleep.
It was, of course, how he knew what she felt for Sakurai Sho. In the daytime, when they were together, there were no signs at all of how she thought of the man, how important he was to her. In fact, Warren sometimes thought to himself, it wasn’t Sakurai’s fault he had been so dense - it was probable she had not dropped any hints that she had always wanted them to be more than friends. But the more Warren spent time with Hanako - the more he had let her enter his life - the more he saw the undeniable truth.
It was not him she wanted.
Still, he had told himself someday he alone would be enough.
Warren stood there, by the window, half his face in morning sunshine, half his face in mournful shadows. He stood there, watching, long after she had whispered a name to herself, probably only half-aware whom she was yearning for.
He could feel his chest constrict as he struggled to control his breathing. He would not allow himself to cry.
Maybe true love was meant for some people, Warren tried to comfort himself as he flicked away a stubborn tear drop. Maybe someday he would find someone who would value him, beyond and more than anybody else.
Maybe, someday.
He reached for his phone, searching Masayo’s number. He was not sure she would be up this early in the morning, but he didn’t quite care anymore. He needed her help, badly.
He wasn’t sure how one cancelled weddings.
__
10 March 2010
23:19
It was Hana-chan’s 24th birthday. Masayo had been invited to share the dinner Hana-chan had cooked herself, in Hana-chan’s Shibuya apartment, just the two of them. Masayo and their other friends from Sacred Heart had prepared a pre-birthday celebration for Hana-chan the previous weekend, but of course, Hana-chan wanted to spend her actual birthday her own way.
But there should have been one more person tonight. To Masayo, it had always seemed as though she shared her best friend with someone else. “Where’s Sho-yan?”
Hana-chan didn’t look up from the stove, but Masayo saw her hands freeze. Her voice, when she replied, was steady. “Working. He said he’d try to catch up, but I wouldn’t bet on it.”
There was a faint hint of bitterness. Not in her tone, but in her words. Masayo knew her best friend very well.
Her gaze landed on the dishes on the table. She and Hana-chan would never be able to eat their way through everything, not without Sho. “How is Sho-yan doing anyway?”
When will you ever start dating, Masayo wanted to ask. But she had asked Hana-chan this many, many years ago, and the result had not been pretty. “Is he still dating that actress? What’s her name again? I never remember the names of Sho-yan’s girlfriends-”
“No, I don’t think he is.” Hana-chan kept her back turned to Masayo the whole time she spoke, her fingers slowly, carefully chopping green onions. Hana-chan was a great cook - Sho would not want for anything.
Really, they were both so stupid.
Masayo sighed, resting her chin on the base of her palms. “Doesn’t it bother you that he’s never around anymore? I don’t think I’ve seen him at all since last year. Outside my TV, anyway-”
“He’s only doing his job. You know how he is,” Hana-chan murmured. “Besides, I don’t have the right to be bothered by anything. It’s not like he has to tell me where he is all the time.”
“He knows where you are all the time. He asks you every day.”
“Well, that’s my decision.” Hana-chan said this like it was a conclusion to their conversation. “It’s my choice that I don’t mind telling him where I am, and anyway, I rarely go anywhere. It’s not hard to keep track.”
“Don’t you ever get curious where he goes, Hana-chan?”
She shook her head. “I don’t really care where he goes, Masayo.”
Liar, Masayo wanted to say. If she could say her opinion out loud, she would accuse Hana-chan of not wanting to know where Sho went, more than not really caring. Maybe it was better off that way, anyway, so Hana-chan could save her heart. So Hana-chan would not get hurt.
But Masayo would not say anything, not tonight. Tonight, she would pretend to agree with Hana-chan’s way of dealing with things, tonight she would let the birthday girl get her way.
Tonight, they would not talk about Sho any further. But Masayo knew, Hana-chan would be thinking about him. And the reason he wasn’t there.
He never did come to celebrate, that night.
__
16 July 2012
14:10
Sakurai Sho was not in the mood to eat. He could tell, by the way the other members glanced at him every so often, that this was not normal behavior. But he did not have the appetite to even pretend, and for once, the steaming bowl of soba before him was not seducing him to partake. He had not slept at all. He had been thinking about Hana the whole night.
“That’s it.” He heard the sound of a bowl being sternly laid on the table. Matsumoto Jun looked pissed, his face on full-blown irritated mode. Maybe MatsuJun had not slept well, too. “What on Earth are you thinking about, Sho-san? It’s driving me nuts, the way you’re just sitting there, staring at nothing.”
“I’m just tired.” For effect, Sho raised a hand to his eyes. He could feel his lids close at his touch, involuntarily. “I couldn’t sleep last night. It’s not too obvious, is it?”
“Oh, it’s obvious, all right.” Aiba Masaki contributed from the far end of the table. “It’s obvious something’s bothering you, and it’s not just lack of sleep.” Aiba put his half-eaten bowl down, too. “It’s not just exhaustion, Sho, and we can all see it.”
Sometimes Sho preferred the Aiba on screen. He was much more docile, and determinedly innocent. “We’re not filming anyway. I’ll switch later.”
“Sho-san, you can tell us, you know.” MatsuJun held his gaze, almost pleading. “Whatever it is that’s bothering you.”
There was a beat of silence, as even Ohno Satoshi stopped eating to listen.
“If it helps, we can pretend you’re asking for professional advice,” Aiba offered in a stage whisper. “That way it won’t feel like you’re giving up too much.”
Smiling faintly as Ninomiya Kazunari promptly turned to Aiba to berate him, Sho felt the phone in his jacket pocket vibrate. He had been waiting for her to reply to the message he had sent, waiting for her to accept or reject what he had practically begged of her.
“Hanako, give me another chance please.
I just need you to hear me out properly.
Just please listen to what I want to tell you.
Let’s talk, please.”
He wanted her to know what he had realized. He had been so stupid, all these years.
He flipped his mobile phone open, squinting at the notice on its tiny screen. The new message was from Masayo. As he read further into it, he felt himself start, felt himself frown in a mixture of disbelief and hope that in a way both thrilled and unsettled him.
“On behalf of Hayabusa Hanako and Hibiki Warren,
I would like to inform everyone that the wedding on Friday has been cancelled.
Wedding gifts will be returned.
The couple apologizes for this inconvenience.
Please do not reply to this message.
<3 Hanazawa Masayo, best friend of Hanako.”
Sho finished reading the message. Disbelieving, he read the message again.
“If this is about Hanako-san,” Nino piped in suddenly, earning a curious glance from Sho, “my advice still stands. You should talk to her. At least tell her you wish she wouldn’t get married, but that you’re not expecting anything.”
He took a long sip from his water glass. “It’s your stupid fault, anyway, realizing you don’t want to lose her just as she’s about to get married.” Nino shook his head in disbelief. “We both know she’s not to blame if she decides to go through with it, and marries the hotshot lawyer anyway.”
Three pairs of watchful eyes darted between Nino and Sho, the former nonchalantly eating, the latter texting desperately on his mobile. It was Ohno who broke the pregnant silence. “What?”
Sho suddenly stood up, banging his fist on the table to propel himself upward. “Right. I have to take care of something. Do you guys mind covering up for me?”
“Um.” Ohno seemed to be the only one left capable of half-coherent speech - Aiba and Matsumoto were staring at him with jaws slack, Ninomiya smiling softly as he continued to pick his way through his beef bowl. Sho tried not to think of what the staff would say about his sudden abandonment of his duties. He would make up for it later.
There were things that mattered more now.
“Are you off to meet Hana-chan?” Aiba asked, still half-confused.
“I’m going to try to find her first.” He began stuffing his things into his backpack, his fingers clumsy with haste. “But, see.” He straightened up, turning to Nino. “What do I tell her? What do I say?”
“Just tell her the truth,” Nino shrugged. “Try not to invent anything. Don’t even try to add in something cheesy. Girls hate things like that, surprisingly.”
“Yeah, um.” Despite his struggle to understand what was going on, MatsuJun was as helpful as ever. Perhaps it was in his system to care. “Just be honest, and leave the decision up to her. Don’t pressure her into doing anything. Tell her you’re willing to take it slow.”
“Bring flowers,” Ohno suggested. “Roses, lots.”
“Got it, thanks.” Sho turned to Aiba for advice, and was surprised that his band mate had actually gotten up to place a gentle hand on his shoulder. Aiba held his gaze seriously.
“It always helps to admit you were stupid. Especially if you were.”
Somewhere along the table, Nino laughed. “Yes, that helps. It really does.” He shook his head again. “You were so stupid, Sho.”
“All right, fine - you don’t have to rub it in.” Slipping his backpack on, and rushing towards the door of their private room, Sho added, “I’m leaving now. Invent something for me-”
If it meant getting Hanako back, Sho was willing to be called stupid, every day for the rest of his life.
Friendzone Second Half
Sakurai. Friends. Just.
September 2012
Summary
Sakurai Sho tries to stop his best friend from getting married.
A/N
[23.37, 14 September 2012] I haven’t written in so long. *Sigh* I miss it so much.
My favorite local author, Mina V. Esguerra, has a book called My Imaginary Ex. For people who’ve read it, this story will seem familiar. For those who have not read the book yet - and have the means to read it - I suggest you get hooked to Mina V. Esguerra, too. She’s an amazing author, and person.
PS National Bookstore seems to be having a Summit Chick Lit Sale - back copies of everything at PhP75. At SM North, at least. ::P
I hope you like this! ::D
Disclaimer
The mastermind behind this plot derives no material profit from it. While several people, places, and events exist in reality, everything that follows should be digested with a healthy dose of suspicion.
Warning
I cannot write bromance or erotica to save my life.
The International School of the Sacred Heart is a prestigious school for girls in Hiroo, Tokyo.
Also, I didn’t mean for this to be very long, but it is. It really is.
Words 7, 559
Friendzone
For Arashi
First Half
15 July 2012
23:20
She restrained a frustrated sigh as the blindfold went over her eyes. Muttering to Masayo, who she knew was grinning as she fumbled with the handkerchief, Hanako threatened, “I’ll get you for this someday.”
“Relax,” came the purring reply. “It’s your last week of singlehood. You should be making the most out of it.”
“Just tell the stripper to come out here,” a drunken voice called out from the kitchen. “It isn’t fair that Hanako’s hogging all the fun just because she’s getting married-”
“Shut up, Ruka! It’s Hanako’s party - you keep quiet and concentrate on pouring the juice.”
Hanako raised a skeptical eyebrow, her senses adjusting to her sudden blindness. “Masayo, I’m telling you I don’t need this sort of nonsense-”
She felt a hand press on the small of her back.
“Someday you’ll thank me for this.”
The monotonous hum of female chatter was the last sound she heard before she heard a door snap shut. The air in this new room was colder, like a gentle autumn chill, and Hanako could smell the familiar aroma of expensive perfume. A very male, predatory scent - a sensation that greatly reminded her of the person she least wanted to see.
Hands flying to her blindfold, Hanako struggled for release, finally understanding Masayo’s intentions, finally understanding enough to feel stupid. A pair of cold, large hands - forceful but remarkably calm - touched hers as he struggled to untangle her blindfold, too.
She blinked against the stars in her eyes, the blur in her vision, with the red handkerchief in her hands. He stood before her at a careful distance, gauging her reaction, not smiling.
“Hello, Hana,” Sakurai Sho carefully intoned, his eyes still searching. “We need to talk.”
__
21 April 2012
20:33
They glared at each other over their candlelit dinner, his clenched fists smack between them on the table, her French tips digging into her palm. The night lights of Minato sparkled beyond their window like fireflies, tenderly blinking as they had their first fight. Eight years of being best friends - but it was the first time they had ever clashed like this.
It was worth noting it was the angriest he had ever seen her. She was usually gentle and acquiescing, but tonight she was different. They were in plain sight of the staff of the restaurant he had reserved for this evening, and she looked ready to bust a nerve. But Sho was beside himself, too. “I confess to you and all you can say is I’m being stupid?”
He heard himself scoff as he tore his gaze away, concentrating on a spot in the distance. There was an alien lump forming at the base of his throat, struggling for release. He hated how choked up he felt - why was he being so emotional? “It takes me years to say that and all you can say is I’m being stupid-”
“Will you stop repeating yourself?” she hissed, kicking him from beneath the table. He tried to close his eyes and concentrate on what she was saying, but the anger in her voice was distracting him. “What do you expect me to do? Rejoice that you’ve finally worked that out? Wait for us to be whatever you were expecting us to be - that’s stupid, Sho. You’ve done nothing to deserve anything from me-”
He sensed his jaw fall as his gaze rested on her face. In the dimness of the candle light, her anger seemed to burn, and strangely he regretted never having seen this side of her before. There was so much about her he had taken for granted. “I’m not saying I’m expecting anything - I just want you to know-”
“Too late,” she suddenly shook her head, staring listlessly at the table. She seemed tired, really spent, and somehow he knew he looked the same way. They were going nowhere, and they were wasting their time. He had believed they could be something else, but it seemed he had been wrong. “You’re too late. It’s not going to change anything now-”
“We can work something out.” He tried to reach for her hand on the table, and he was glad she didn’t turn away. “We can take things slowly. We don’t have to rush-”
“Sho, I’m getting married.”
His breath hitched. “You’re getting married?” He blinked. “To Warren?”
“To Warren, yes.”
She looked up from the deep blue tabletop to gauge his expression. It seemed, for a moment, that she was expecting him to say something - the question in her eyes seemed to be waiting for him to speak, almost pleading for the words she was waiting for. But then her expression changed.
She briskly pulled away, silent. He was only vaguely aware of her running from their table, her footsteps racing across the marble floor, away from him.
It was the last time they had spoken properly.
__
16 July 2012
00:09
The door to the bedroom burst open, and Hana-chan flew out in a flurry of footsteps. Masayo, sharing a drunken toast with Ruka and the others, turned around too slowly to see her best friend flying out the front door of the apartment. Seconds later and Sakurai Sho emerged from the bedroom as well, face stony as he flashed one sweeping look across the room with all the party guests. The crowd of women went quiet, drinks half raised towards their lips.
He slowly and politely made a bow, before turning to follow Hana-chan. Masayo stumbled to her feet.
Ignoring the slurred pleas for information that her companions were flinging her way, she raced out the foyer in her barely covered feet, a glass of red wine in her hand. In the corridor, she could hear her best friend and Sakurai arguing in angry, low voices, their rapid whispers reminiscent of the wind in a storm. She stood to watch them from the door of the apartment, the knob in her hand, her back on the cold wood. He was gripping her wrist as she struggled to run away, when she glanced past his shoulder and saw her other best friend watching.
Even while intoxicated, she sensed Hana-chan’s deep anger. “I can’t believe you were in on this, Masayo - what the hell were you thinking?!”
“What’s going on?” a different male voice suddenly called out from behind them. Compelling her leaden limbs to move, Masayo saw it was Warren Hibiki - but Warren Hibiki was supposed to be in Germany, wasn’t he? She had made sure he would be in Germany tonight, just as Sho had asked her to. “What are you doing? Let her go-”
Warren Hibiki rushed forward and pulled his fiancée out of Sho’s grip. The two men stood glaring at each other, and Masayo genuinely felt fear coursing its way through her body. She had never seen Warren Hibiki angry. Sho looked ready to kill.
“Warren, stop.” Hana-chan placed a hand - with those long, elegant fingers Masayo had always, always envied - on Warren Hibiki’s chest. It seemed as though she were hugging him from behind, and the scene would have been something straight out of a romantic movie had all the actors present not been livid. “Warren, he wasn’t going to do anything - stop. He wasn’t going to hurt me-”
“He was practically dragging you, Hanako-!”
“No, he wasn’t - we were just talking.” Hana-chan suddenly started to cry. Masayo had never seen her best friend cry, not even when Sho had started giving her the cold treatment. Hana-chan had never allowed Masayo to see her crying- “Warren, I just want to go home.”
She seemed to be clinging to Warren Hibiki, as though he was the only reason she was still standing. “Warren, please. Let’s just go home-”
Warren Hibiki turned.
Masayo had always known Hana-chan’s fiancé was a decent guy. She had never really liked him, but she knew he was a good man. Seeing her crying so desperately, so despondently, he gently pried her hand from his chest, and held her long fingers in his hands. The gentlest of expressions was whispering through his eyes. “All right, Hanako, all right. Let’s go home.”
Hana-chan allowed herself to be half-carried by this man, the man she would be marrying in one week’s time. Masayo wasn’t even sure she was invited to the wedding anymore.
But she would never regret what she had helped Sho do.
He didn’t stop them as they made their way to the elevators, Hana-chan sobbing quietly into her fiancé’s shoulder as he draped his dark jacket around her small frame. Sho just stood in the middle of the corridor, in his neat blue polo shirt and his pristine chinos, looking dejected and lost. Long after Hana-chan and Warren Hibiki had gone, he just stood there, staring at nothing, a lifeless burn in his eyes.
Before Masayo had realized it, she was crying. She had crumpled herself into a ball by the door, salty tears rolling down her face in waves. Perhaps she was crying with Hana-chan. But she liked to think she was crying for Sho, because she knew he would never cry. He was too proud like her best friend. Maybe Masayo was crying for the both of them.
Behind her, the guests from within the apartment called out in angry, incomprehensible hisses. Their insistent knocks, drumming against the wood by the small of her back, was the only rhythm in the barren hallway, empty and drained of hope.
__
24 December 2011
21:07
Warren could tell - from the moment Hanazawa Masayo laid eyes on him - that they would never become good friends. There was the telltale displeasure on her pretty face, an obvious disapproval that her best friend since kindergarten was dating him. But he was thirty-five and single, a partner at a prestigious firm, and foreign educated - she couldn’t possibly find a reason to dislike him. Yet Warren Hibiki, who prided himself on his ability to read people, knew his girlfriend’s best friend detested him. He thought he was positive why.
Sakurai Sho. They were all supporters of Sakurai Sho, those important people in his girlfriend’s life.
“Sorry about that,” Hanako apologized with a face as Masayo excused herself from their table. They watched as a couple of men’s gazes flickered over to her, as she obliviously flounced towards the toilet. “Masayo’s usually a very gregarious person - maybe she’s just had a long day.”
Warren smiled and shrugged noncommittally. He had always found it strange that Hanako couldn’t see how everyone around her hated him. It made him want to meet Sakurai Sho in the flesh, to at least understand why everybody seemed to prefer him. He couldn’t see why Hanako’s parents and her other best friend seemed to think heaven of a man who was never around anyway. He even found it hard to believe that Hanako’s older brother seemed to disapprove of him, when they were both lawyers, and he had expected a bit more sympathy from someone of the same profession. “It’s a shame your friend Sho couldn’t make it tonight though.”
“Yes, well.” She lapsed into a fit of mournful thinking, scanning the merry, crowded restaurant with unseeing eyes. “It’s Christmas Eve anyway. He has to fulfill his good duty of satisfying a nation of women.” She smirked at him, a strange glint in her eyes. “You’ll meet him someday, I’m sure.”
“I can hardly wait,” Warren replied sincerely, for all the wrong reasons. As he smiled at the woman across the table from him, her elbows resting on the table, her beautiful face at perfect ease, he quietly thanked Sakurai Sho for being so dense. Here was a wonderful woman who was head over heels in love with him, who thought the world of him, and he didn’t even notice - even after eight years.
But maybe he did notice. Only he had decided not to do anything about it.
It’s his loss, Warren thought as he reached for Hanako’s hand. Love was pretty easy when you really thought about it. One man’s loss was another man’s gain - it wasn’t much different from corporate law, it was just another merger. And Warren would be good to her - he had promised himself he would be good to her.
It surprised him how deeply she had crept into his heart, in so little time.
Hanako seemed surprised, but didn’t pull away. She smiled gently at him, and his grin widened. Someday she would learn to love him. Someday, Warren was sure.
__
16 July 2012
06:54
Against the pillows her face rested on, Hanako looked so peaceful.
Warren itched to smoke a cigarette, his fingers twitching with need and anxiety, as he watched her sigh away in her sleep. He loved to watch her sleep, and she would never know. He would never tell her how much she mattered to him, because he sometimes suspected he would never matter the same way to her.
But he was too proud to even bother asking.
Warren sighed heavily as he raised a hand to his tired eyes. He could not remember the last time he had slept - in his hurry to return from Germany, he had done all his work on the flight home. The wedding was to be held in a few days’ time, as his own mother would never tire of reminding him. Sakurai Sho had been invited, of course - was the man holding on to a last bit of hope that Hanako would not leave him?
But if it were him, Warren pondered, he would have done the same thing. He would have been just as desperate.
In her sleep, Hanako fidgeted, mumbling something as she raised a hand to shield her eyes from the sunlight. He had not realized it had started to get light. Jumping to his feet, Warren flew towards the windows, deftly pulling the curtains to a close, his hands working with the thin sheets of fabric before he heard her whisper a name.
It was not his name. It was not the first time she had whispered it in her sleep.
It was, of course, how he knew what she felt for Sakurai Sho. In the daytime, when they were together, there were no signs at all of how she thought of the man, how important he was to her. In fact, Warren sometimes thought to himself, it wasn’t Sakurai’s fault he had been so dense - it was probable she had not dropped any hints that she had always wanted them to be more than friends. But the more Warren spent time with Hanako - the more he had let her enter his life - the more he saw the undeniable truth.
It was not him she wanted.
Still, he had told himself someday he alone would be enough.
Warren stood there, by the window, half his face in morning sunshine, half his face in mournful shadows. He stood there, watching, long after she had whispered a name to herself, probably only half-aware whom she was yearning for.
He could feel his chest constrict as he struggled to control his breathing. He would not allow himself to cry.
Maybe true love was meant for some people, Warren tried to comfort himself as he flicked away a stubborn tear drop. Maybe someday he would find someone who would value him, beyond and more than anybody else.
Maybe, someday.
He reached for his phone, searching Masayo’s number. He was not sure she would be up this early in the morning, but he didn’t quite care anymore. He needed her help, badly.
He wasn’t sure how one cancelled weddings.
__
10 March 2010
23:19
It was Hana-chan’s 24th birthday. Masayo had been invited to share the dinner Hana-chan had cooked herself, in Hana-chan’s Shibuya apartment, just the two of them. Masayo and their other friends from Sacred Heart had prepared a pre-birthday celebration for Hana-chan the previous weekend, but of course, Hana-chan wanted to spend her actual birthday her own way.
But there should have been one more person tonight. To Masayo, it had always seemed as though she shared her best friend with someone else. “Where’s Sho-yan?”
Hana-chan didn’t look up from the stove, but Masayo saw her hands freeze. Her voice, when she replied, was steady. “Working. He said he’d try to catch up, but I wouldn’t bet on it.”
There was a faint hint of bitterness. Not in her tone, but in her words. Masayo knew her best friend very well.
Her gaze landed on the dishes on the table. She and Hana-chan would never be able to eat their way through everything, not without Sho. “How is Sho-yan doing anyway?”
When will you ever start dating, Masayo wanted to ask. But she had asked Hana-chan this many, many years ago, and the result had not been pretty. “Is he still dating that actress? What’s her name again? I never remember the names of Sho-yan’s girlfriends-”
“No, I don’t think he is.” Hana-chan kept her back turned to Masayo the whole time she spoke, her fingers slowly, carefully chopping green onions. Hana-chan was a great cook - Sho would not want for anything.
Really, they were both so stupid.
Masayo sighed, resting her chin on the base of her palms. “Doesn’t it bother you that he’s never around anymore? I don’t think I’ve seen him at all since last year. Outside my TV, anyway-”
“He’s only doing his job. You know how he is,” Hana-chan murmured. “Besides, I don’t have the right to be bothered by anything. It’s not like he has to tell me where he is all the time.”
“He knows where you are all the time. He asks you every day.”
“Well, that’s my decision.” Hana-chan said this like it was a conclusion to their conversation. “It’s my choice that I don’t mind telling him where I am, and anyway, I rarely go anywhere. It’s not hard to keep track.”
“Don’t you ever get curious where he goes, Hana-chan?”
She shook her head. “I don’t really care where he goes, Masayo.”
Liar, Masayo wanted to say. If she could say her opinion out loud, she would accuse Hana-chan of not wanting to know where Sho went, more than not really caring. Maybe it was better off that way, anyway, so Hana-chan could save her heart. So Hana-chan would not get hurt.
But Masayo would not say anything, not tonight. Tonight, she would pretend to agree with Hana-chan’s way of dealing with things, tonight she would let the birthday girl get her way.
Tonight, they would not talk about Sho any further. But Masayo knew, Hana-chan would be thinking about him. And the reason he wasn’t there.
He never did come to celebrate, that night.
__
16 July 2012
14:10
Sakurai Sho was not in the mood to eat. He could tell, by the way the other members glanced at him every so often, that this was not normal behavior. But he did not have the appetite to even pretend, and for once, the steaming bowl of soba before him was not seducing him to partake. He had not slept at all. He had been thinking about Hana the whole night.
“That’s it.” He heard the sound of a bowl being sternly laid on the table. Matsumoto Jun looked pissed, his face on full-blown irritated mode. Maybe MatsuJun had not slept well, too. “What on Earth are you thinking about, Sho-san? It’s driving me nuts, the way you’re just sitting there, staring at nothing.”
“I’m just tired.” For effect, Sho raised a hand to his eyes. He could feel his lids close at his touch, involuntarily. “I couldn’t sleep last night. It’s not too obvious, is it?”
“Oh, it’s obvious, all right.” Aiba Masaki contributed from the far end of the table. “It’s obvious something’s bothering you, and it’s not just lack of sleep.” Aiba put his half-eaten bowl down, too. “It’s not just exhaustion, Sho, and we can all see it.”
Sometimes Sho preferred the Aiba on screen. He was much more docile, and determinedly innocent. “We’re not filming anyway. I’ll switch later.”
“Sho-san, you can tell us, you know.” MatsuJun held his gaze, almost pleading. “Whatever it is that’s bothering you.”
There was a beat of silence, as even Ohno Satoshi stopped eating to listen.
“If it helps, we can pretend you’re asking for professional advice,” Aiba offered in a stage whisper. “That way it won’t feel like you’re giving up too much.”
Smiling faintly as Ninomiya Kazunari promptly turned to Aiba to berate him, Sho felt the phone in his jacket pocket vibrate. He had been waiting for her to reply to the message he had sent, waiting for her to accept or reject what he had practically begged of her.
“Hanako, give me another chance please.
I just need you to hear me out properly.
Just please listen to what I want to tell you.
Let’s talk, please.”
He wanted her to know what he had realized. He had been so stupid, all these years.
He flipped his mobile phone open, squinting at the notice on its tiny screen. The new message was from Masayo. As he read further into it, he felt himself start, felt himself frown in a mixture of disbelief and hope that in a way both thrilled and unsettled him.
“On behalf of Hayabusa Hanako and Hibiki Warren,
I would like to inform everyone that the wedding on Friday has been cancelled.
Wedding gifts will be returned.
The couple apologizes for this inconvenience.
Please do not reply to this message.
<3 Hanazawa Masayo, best friend of Hanako.”
Sho finished reading the message. Disbelieving, he read the message again.
“If this is about Hanako-san,” Nino piped in suddenly, earning a curious glance from Sho, “my advice still stands. You should talk to her. At least tell her you wish she wouldn’t get married, but that you’re not expecting anything.”
He took a long sip from his water glass. “It’s your stupid fault, anyway, realizing you don’t want to lose her just as she’s about to get married.” Nino shook his head in disbelief. “We both know she’s not to blame if she decides to go through with it, and marries the hotshot lawyer anyway.”
Three pairs of watchful eyes darted between Nino and Sho, the former nonchalantly eating, the latter texting desperately on his mobile. It was Ohno who broke the pregnant silence. “What?”
Sho suddenly stood up, banging his fist on the table to propel himself upward. “Right. I have to take care of something. Do you guys mind covering up for me?”
“Um.” Ohno seemed to be the only one left capable of half-coherent speech - Aiba and Matsumoto were staring at him with jaws slack, Ninomiya smiling softly as he continued to pick his way through his beef bowl. Sho tried not to think of what the staff would say about his sudden abandonment of his duties. He would make up for it later.
There were things that mattered more now.
“Are you off to meet Hana-chan?” Aiba asked, still half-confused.
“I’m going to try to find her first.” He began stuffing his things into his backpack, his fingers clumsy with haste. “But, see.” He straightened up, turning to Nino. “What do I tell her? What do I say?”
“Just tell her the truth,” Nino shrugged. “Try not to invent anything. Don’t even try to add in something cheesy. Girls hate things like that, surprisingly.”
“Yeah, um.” Despite his struggle to understand what was going on, MatsuJun was as helpful as ever. Perhaps it was in his system to care. “Just be honest, and leave the decision up to her. Don’t pressure her into doing anything. Tell her you’re willing to take it slow.”
“Bring flowers,” Ohno suggested. “Roses, lots.”
“Got it, thanks.” Sho turned to Aiba for advice, and was surprised that his band mate had actually gotten up to place a gentle hand on his shoulder. Aiba held his gaze seriously.
“It always helps to admit you were stupid. Especially if you were.”
Somewhere along the table, Nino laughed. “Yes, that helps. It really does.” He shook his head again. “You were so stupid, Sho.”
“All right, fine - you don’t have to rub it in.” Slipping his backpack on, and rushing towards the door of their private room, Sho added, “I’m leaving now. Invent something for me-”
If it meant getting Hanako back, Sho was willing to be called stupid, every day for the rest of his life.
Friendzone Second Half