Flashback: two weeks ago. The girl I have been sort-of-dating comes to visit me from central Illinois. we have a decent time but I am struck with intense anxiety. I am frankly uninterested in her even though we've been fucking. She is smitten; it is written plainly in every thing she says and does. I can only think "I want her gone so I can have
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She had, of course, bought the return ticket for 7pm on monday.
so today was spent wandering around foolishly. I left at 3:30 to drop her off at a mutual friend's house and went to what I thought was a labor day party but was actually my dad's birthday party.
It wasn't a BAD decision, really; I thought I could make a relationship work but there just wasn't any investment on my part, and the more I tried to like back up the more she seemed to ignore me and form her own opinions about reality and I realized I seriously didn't care.
It's totally my fault for giving her a free bed to stay in and covering her costs for things. I need to be more strict. But if my only flaw is being too nice? I'm not really feeling too bad about that.
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Also, this is karma for just wanting a fuck. :P
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Watch 40-Year-Old Virgin. It's pretty easy.
Ah, youth. :)
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