16 - waxrose
Jun can't really blame Aiba for wanting to leave; home is a small, dusty little town in the middle of nowhere. Everyone knows each other and not much really happens. He can see that Aiba is restless long before Aiba tentatively mentions that he's thinking of going away for awhile, long before Jun starts to find roadmaps scattered all around the floor of Aiba's bedroom whenever he comes over.
He knows that Aiba is meant for better things than this, that his smile is too bright to be lost in the darkness of their little world. He just wishes that it didn't hurt so much to say goodbye.
Aiba's goodbye party is a rowdy affair at his family's restaurant and Jun is grateful to be able to hide in the crowds of well-wishers, drinking quietly in a corner while all of their friends and the staff from Johnny's occupy Aiba's attention. He escapes to Aiba's room after awhile when he can't take it anymore, because he knows what's coming and he can't convince himself that it's a bad idea.
He and Aiba had been friends forever; they'd grown up together, him and Aiba and Satoshi. None of them knew much of anything else beyond their little town, and Jun liked it here. He liked how the world felt so softened around the edges, like they lived in a bubble untouched by any other place. He even liked working tables at Johnny's, because he was good at it, very good, and he liked the routine.
Aiba occasionally attempted to advance their relationship when he was out of his skull, usually when he was drunk, much to everyone's hilarity. It had been funny, until Jun had realized that he enjoyed Aiba flirting with him, that he got a strange feeling somewhere deep inside when he got close, that he liked it when the other boy leaned against him or pressed his lips against Jun's neck until Jun pushed him away.
Jun always pushed him away.
Jun shivers and hugs his knees closer to his chest, letting the darkness of Aiba's room wrap around him like a blanket.
That's where Aiba finds him about an hour later, curled up on his window seat and watching the fat, full silver moon with his forehead pressed against the cold glass of the window.
"I thought you'd left without saying good-bye," Aiba teases, stripping off his shirt. He tossed it in the direction of the backpack. "My mum won't stop crying, seriously. I'd better sneak out before sunrise, tomorrow, don't you think? She'll be mad, but she'll probably feel better in the long -"
"Masaki, I..." Jun says, and his throat closes up when Aiba's eyes dart to him, dark and expectant. He shakes his head. "Forget it."
Aiba drops lazily onto the other half of the window seat, his bare feet bumping up against Jun's. His smile is wide and affectionate. "I'm going to miss you a lot, Jun-chan."
Jun keeps staring at his toes, trying to fight back the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. "If you need anything," he says finally, "Anything, if you run into trouble or something, I'll come get you. Or if you need money, just call me and I'll wire it to you. Anything. I don't want you to -"
Aiba laughs softly, moving so that he could push Jun's legs apart and hug him around the waist, nestled against Jun's chest. Surprised, Jun lets him.
"Matsujun always takes care of me." Aiba tucks his head under Jun's chin, fingers playing with Jun's favourite leather bracelet. "I need to take care of myself now."
Jun wraps his arms around Aiba, letting his head rest against Aiba's soft hair. He closes his eyes. He wants Aiba to need him, like he's always needed him. It isn't fair and it isn't right, but it's so fucking painful to let go.
"Jun?" he hears Aiba murmur against his neck. Jun pulls back enough to see Aiba's face, framing it with his hands and sliding his thumbs across Aiba's cheekbones. Aiba's eyes are big in his face, wide and unsure. Jun kisses him impulsively, just on the corner of his mouth, and Aiba's eyes flutter shut.
It's slow-like, soft and heavy like the sweetness of the August heat, Aiba pressing close up against Jun again and they kiss again, long and lazy. Jun's nerves are in overdrive, with Aiba's lips hot and soft against his, his tongue teasing at Jun's mouth and his hands stroking up and down Jun's back, under Jun's shirt. It isn't even until Aiba pulls back and moves to wipe away the tear tracks from Jun's cheeks that Jun realizes that he's crying.
"Fuck." Jun breaks away from and swipes at his eyes, feeling like the biggest girl ever. "I can't - not when you're leaving, and."
"It's okay," Aiba murmurs, and his voice sounds a little thick, too. Jun looks at him warningly; Aiba's always cried easily and if he starts, then there's no hope for either of them.
"I just -" Jun doesn't know what to say. He can't say, You're going to go new places and meet new people and I won't be able to be a part of any of that, because he knows that isn't why Aiba is leaving. But one way or another, he knows that he's going to get left behind somehow.
"Can I kiss you again?" Aiba asks softly. Jun shivers, a suicide balancing on the edge of a precipice. He doesn't move, and feels slightly disgruntled when Aiba laughs at him. "I'm not going away forever, you know. I'll be back."
"I know," Jun says, but he lets Aiba kiss him again, and it's all start-stop after that, Aiba fumbling with Jun's belt and Jun trying to explore every inch of Aiba's bare skin with fingers and lips and tongue. It's kind of cramped on the window seat, and Jun's legs are kind of splayed out at an awkward angle to prevent both of them from falling off the edge, but he really couldn't care less when Aiba slides his lips around Jun's cock, tongue swirling around the head. He comes in an almost embarrassingly short amount of time.
They move to Aiba's bed after that, kissing and kissing until Jun thinks he might go crazy.
"I really love you," Aiba says out of the blue, fast and breathless, hands sliding over Jun's back. They're both kind of sweaty now, and they're probably moving too much, and it takes a second to process Aiba's words.
When he wakes up, Aiba is gone.
He'd feel sad, if he wasn't already busy being pissed-off at being left alone and red-faced to explain to Mrs. Aiba why he was sleeping (and still kind of naked) in Aiba's bed.
(She barely bats an eye and invites him down for breakfast, actually, but the rage distracts Jun from missing Aiba for a few minutes, from lingering on the empty corner where Aiba's backpack had been, and that helps a little.)
After that, it's just a matter of waiting.
He knows that Aiba is meant for better things than this, that his smile is too bright to be lost in the darkness of their little world. He just wishes that it didn't hurt so much to say goodbye.
Aiba's goodbye party is a rowdy affair at his family's restaurant and Jun is grateful to be able to hide in the crowds of well-wishers, drinking quietly in a corner while all of their friends and the staff from Johnny's occupy Aiba's attention. He escapes to Aiba's room after awhile when he can't take it anymore, because he knows what's coming and he can't convince himself that it's a bad idea.
He and Aiba had been friends forever; they'd grown up together, him and Aiba and Satoshi. None of them knew much of anything else beyond their little town, and Jun liked it here. He liked how the world felt so softened around the edges, like they lived in a bubble untouched by any other place. He even liked working tables at Johnny's, because he was good at it, very good, and he liked the routine.
Aiba occasionally attempted to advance their relationship when he was out of his skull, usually when he was drunk, much to everyone's hilarity. It had been funny, until Jun had realized that he enjoyed Aiba flirting with him, that he got a strange feeling somewhere deep inside when he got close, that he liked it when the other boy leaned against him or pressed his lips against Jun's neck until Jun pushed him away.
Jun always pushed him away.
Jun shivers and hugs his knees closer to his chest, letting the darkness of Aiba's room wrap around him like a blanket.
That's where Aiba finds him about an hour later, curled up on his window seat and watching the fat, full silver moon with his forehead pressed against the cold glass of the window.
"I thought you'd left without saying good-bye," Aiba teases, stripping off his shirt. He tossed it in the direction of the backpack. "My mum won't stop crying, seriously. I'd better sneak out before sunrise, tomorrow, don't you think? She'll be mad, but she'll probably feel better in the long -"
"Masaki, I..." Jun says, and his throat closes up when Aiba's eyes dart to him, dark and expectant. He shakes his head. "Forget it."
Aiba drops lazily onto the other half of the window seat, his bare feet bumping up against Jun's. His smile is wide and affectionate. "I'm going to miss you a lot, Jun-chan."
Jun keeps staring at his toes, trying to fight back the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. "If you need anything," he says finally, "Anything, if you run into trouble or something, I'll come get you. Or if you need money, just call me and I'll wire it to you. Anything. I don't want you to -"
Aiba laughs softly, moving so that he could push Jun's legs apart and hug him around the waist, nestled against Jun's chest. Surprised, Jun lets him.
"Matsujun always takes care of me." Aiba tucks his head under Jun's chin, fingers playing with Jun's favourite leather bracelet. "I need to take care of myself now."
Jun wraps his arms around Aiba, letting his head rest against Aiba's soft hair. He closes his eyes. He wants Aiba to need him, like he's always needed him. It isn't fair and it isn't right, but it's so fucking painful to let go.
"Jun?" he hears Aiba murmur against his neck. Jun pulls back enough to see Aiba's face, framing it with his hands and sliding his thumbs across Aiba's cheekbones. Aiba's eyes are big in his face, wide and unsure. Jun kisses him impulsively, just on the corner of his mouth, and Aiba's eyes flutter shut.
It's slow-like, soft and heavy like the sweetness of the August heat, Aiba pressing close up against Jun again and they kiss again, long and lazy. Jun's nerves are in overdrive, with Aiba's lips hot and soft against his, his tongue teasing at Jun's mouth and his hands stroking up and down Jun's back, under Jun's shirt. It isn't even until Aiba pulls back and moves to wipe away the tear tracks from Jun's cheeks that Jun realizes that he's crying.
"Fuck." Jun breaks away from and swipes at his eyes, feeling like the biggest girl ever. "I can't - not when you're leaving, and."
"It's okay," Aiba murmurs, and his voice sounds a little thick, too. Jun looks at him warningly; Aiba's always cried easily and if he starts, then there's no hope for either of them.
"I just -" Jun doesn't know what to say. He can't say, You're going to go new places and meet new people and I won't be able to be a part of any of that, because he knows that isn't why Aiba is leaving. But one way or another, he knows that he's going to get left behind somehow.
"Can I kiss you again?" Aiba asks softly. Jun shivers, a suicide balancing on the edge of a precipice. He doesn't move, and feels slightly disgruntled when Aiba laughs at him. "I'm not going away forever, you know. I'll be back."
"I know," Jun says, but he lets Aiba kiss him again, and it's all start-stop after that, Aiba fumbling with Jun's belt and Jun trying to explore every inch of Aiba's bare skin with fingers and lips and tongue. It's kind of cramped on the window seat, and Jun's legs are kind of splayed out at an awkward angle to prevent both of them from falling off the edge, but he really couldn't care less when Aiba slides his lips around Jun's cock, tongue swirling around the head. He comes in an almost embarrassingly short amount of time.
They move to Aiba's bed after that, kissing and kissing until Jun thinks he might go crazy.
"I really love you," Aiba says out of the blue, fast and breathless, hands sliding over Jun's back. They're both kind of sweaty now, and they're probably moving too much, and it takes a second to process Aiba's words.
When he wakes up, Aiba is gone.
He'd feel sad, if he wasn't already busy being pissed-off at being left alone and red-faced to explain to Mrs. Aiba why he was sleeping (and still kind of naked) in Aiba's bed.
(She barely bats an eye and invites him down for breakfast, actually, but the rage distracts Jun from missing Aiba for a few minutes, from lingering on the empty corner where Aiba's backpack had been, and that helps a little.)
After that, it's just a matter of waiting.