48 - still_ciircee
This takes place during Part 47. Timeline-wise I'd put it in after that, just because it'd help to read that one before this one.
We're leaving Nino thought.
He could feel the warmth of Ohno's knee next to his own. He felt old, suddenly old, like he'd turned around and aged triple-speed and now everything ached and took too much effort. He stood up and left the room, unable to stand it.
He wasn't sure what room he took refuge in-it had a door that he could close and that was what mattered most. The latch caught quietly and Nino reached into the hidden pocket of his shirt to pull out the picture he'd put in there while Ohno had got the tow truck ready to go. It was the only picture he had of Noriko. Of himself and Noriko. The stupid little photo-booth strip from the carnival in her home town, the night before they had run away together.
The pain of sending her home was more of an abstract feeling than anything else now. It was just a distant memory of his stupider, younger days. But she'd been his, his girl, and he'd loved her. He'd bought the car, had been planning to buy her a ring, and then she'd told him how miserable she was trying to live in his life. As miserable as he'd been trying to live in hers.
His hands clenched into fists at his sides as he tried to forget the feeling of Ohno's hand in his own.
Sho had reminded him that people didn't stay. Even if they loved you, they left. They got bored and left. They couldn't handle it and left. The worst was when they stayed with you even as they left you. He loved this tiny town and he…he had feelings for Ohno that he didn't want to hang a name on. He couldn't stay. It was better to leave and imagine Satoshi and the town waiting for him than to stay and watch it all go to ruin.
Better to leave it with sweet memories than bitter ones, he thought as he touched Noriko's faded, grainy face.
"What're you looking at?" Ohno asked him. He hadn't heard the door open.
He stuffed Noriko's picture away, suddenly not caring if it crumpled. "Just an old scar," he said offhandedly.
"That's very dramatic," Ohno said, his face twitching with a smile as he crossed the room.
Nino wanted to kiss him.
Instead he turned to look out the window. He could see the bank's clock tower and the church spire and the wide, flat expanse of the highway that cut through the town. "Drama is at the heart of magic," he said. He waved his hands, not looking at Ohno, and produced a card. The ace of hearts. Figures, he thought. He was tempted to crumple it up and throw it away. Ohno didn't say anything about it, didn't say anything at all, and Nino looked over at him.
Ohno was looking at the town. "Ever since Aiba first left, it's been one of those inevitable things that Jun was going to go with him someday," he said. "He and Aiba and Sho are probably going to stumble into that out there," he said, inclining his head in the direction of the kitchen.
"He won't stay," Nino said. He felt tired.
Ohno hummed thoughtfully. "He's always wanted to go to Las Vegas," he said.
There were times when he forgot how stubborn Ohno could be. "Las Vegas is full of underwear models who pose in fountains and then get drunk and pose again with even less clothes on. It's boring after the first five times." He wanted to close his eyes when Ohno laughed. He hated feeling this way. He should have hitched out after the first day. He shouldn't have been around to make promises and have them broken and for all the same, stupid reasons that he believed in himself. "No, really, it's boring."
"I've never really been anywhere," Ohno said softly after a minute. Nino refused to look at him even though he could feel Ohno's eyes on him. He couldn't make himself move away from the hand that brushed against his. "I've always wanted to see the Grand Canyon."
"Yeah?"
"I want to spit over the edge and see what happens."
Nino laughed, completely unable to stop the way his hand twisted, fitting itself to Ohno's. "I don't think they let you get that close." He considered that. "Although…if there's a way, Aiba will definitely find it."
"Definitely," Ohno agreed.
He didn't squeeze Nino's hand, didn't let go, didn't do anything, but Nino could feel something different in it. Something that made his pulse pick up speed, something that made his stomach flutter. "Yeah," he said mindlessly.
"I want to see the ocean," Ohno said.
Nino had seen the ocean before, on both coasts and at the Gulf of Mexico. It smelled like salt water and wind and it went on forever in a rolling, blue-green-white light-reflecting wave. He'd never cared for it.
And Ohno was waiting for him to speak.
Only an idiot would ask you along, thought Nino, staring sightlessly out the window. You call your mother 'mama' and you LIKE spending your days getting filthy under cars or pulling stinking fish out of a weedy pond. The ocean makes me puke. I'm not going to ask you to come with me. Not ever. "We could drive along the Big Sur and find a nice beach and watch the sunset together," was what he said. He wasn't using Yuuji's voice. "It'd be grossly gay and Jun would retch and pretend not to know us."
"That sounds romantic," Ohno said agreeably. He wasn't using Taka's voice, either.
Nino looked over at him. "You think making Jun vomit is romantic?"
Ohno grinned at him, the one that was mostly in his eyes and wrinkled across the bridge of his nose, a silent laugh. "So do you," he told him.
He jumped him. It was jump him or talk to him, telling him how much worse he was going to be than Noriko, how he wanted a piano because he didn't want to borrow Jun's all the time, beg him to come with, plead to stay here.
Sometimes he forgot how he and Ohno were the same size when Ohno seemed so steady. Nino was actually surprised when Ohno fell back and they both landed, yelping and half-laughing, on Aiba's floor. Nino looped his arms around Ohno's neck as Ohno rolled them over and pinned him to the floor. "Dream on," he invited with a snicker. Joking about Jun was the easier part of this whole goodbye thing.
"Don't do that," Ohno said, his voice soft but something in it was solid like steel. He braced himself above Nino, looking down at him. Nino opened his mouth to ask 'do what' but Ohno spoke again, overriding him. "Chinen's got friends; there's, like, ten of them so they can run the shop for a little while. It's still summer so they won't mind the short notice."
Nino brought one hand down and touched the tip of his forefinger to the tip of Ohno's nose, watching Ohno's eyes cross. "You're crazy, Satoshi," he said. He didn't mean to sound so happy about that.
"I need a day or two," Ohno said, ignoring the jab, moving his face so that Nino's finger was against his lips, kissing it before he shook him off. Nino put his arms around his neck again, hands in his hair. "Just to set things up. And then we can go. All of us."
A goodbye trip, one last ride. He'd take Ohno out, show him the world, and then bring him back home, tuck him back into his tiny town with his Mama and his cars and the diner-and-Jun. Nino wouldn't come back after that, it'd be like the night he'd met Anne. He'd send postcards sometimes because he was selfish like that, but he'd never return. He couldn't take the risk. He traced the rim of Ohno's ear. "We'll take a trip to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon and the coast," he agreed.
"No," Ohno told him. He shifted and a second later Nino felt the cool tips of Ohno's fingers against his own ear, mirroring him.
He understood. "We'll just bum around then," he said, changing things because Ohno changed things. "We'll go nowhere and somewhere, anywhere and everywhere and maybe the Grand Canyon and maybe Las Vegas."
"Definitely to the ocean," Ohno said. His eyes met Nino's, serious and smiling both. He leaned in, brushing their lips together. "Take me far away." He whispered it like a secret.
Nino kissed him back, unable to keep his heartbreak out of it. It was tender and slow and softly parted lips and sweet breath and the gentlest press of mouths. I love you, he thought fiercely.
"I think they're making out in there," Aiba's voice interrupted the delicate kiss. In perfect unison, Ohno and Nino turned their heads to look at the still closed door. Somebody knocked on it. "Are you guys fucking in the office?" Aiba called. Then, "Ow! They might be. It's them!"
"I want to be the bottom today!" Ohno said in Taka's high voice.
Nino laughed before he found Yuuji's voice. "Okay, okay," he called out loudly enough for the others to hear, nudging Ohno off of him and climbing to his feet. His hand automatically found Ohno's again. Just for now, he thought. "Okay."
We're leaving Nino thought.
He could feel the warmth of Ohno's knee next to his own. He felt old, suddenly old, like he'd turned around and aged triple-speed and now everything ached and took too much effort. He stood up and left the room, unable to stand it.
He wasn't sure what room he took refuge in-it had a door that he could close and that was what mattered most. The latch caught quietly and Nino reached into the hidden pocket of his shirt to pull out the picture he'd put in there while Ohno had got the tow truck ready to go. It was the only picture he had of Noriko. Of himself and Noriko. The stupid little photo-booth strip from the carnival in her home town, the night before they had run away together.
The pain of sending her home was more of an abstract feeling than anything else now. It was just a distant memory of his stupider, younger days. But she'd been his, his girl, and he'd loved her. He'd bought the car, had been planning to buy her a ring, and then she'd told him how miserable she was trying to live in his life. As miserable as he'd been trying to live in hers.
His hands clenched into fists at his sides as he tried to forget the feeling of Ohno's hand in his own.
Sho had reminded him that people didn't stay. Even if they loved you, they left. They got bored and left. They couldn't handle it and left. The worst was when they stayed with you even as they left you. He loved this tiny town and he…he had feelings for Ohno that he didn't want to hang a name on. He couldn't stay. It was better to leave and imagine Satoshi and the town waiting for him than to stay and watch it all go to ruin.
Better to leave it with sweet memories than bitter ones, he thought as he touched Noriko's faded, grainy face.
"What're you looking at?" Ohno asked him. He hadn't heard the door open.
He stuffed Noriko's picture away, suddenly not caring if it crumpled. "Just an old scar," he said offhandedly.
"That's very dramatic," Ohno said, his face twitching with a smile as he crossed the room.
Nino wanted to kiss him.
Instead he turned to look out the window. He could see the bank's clock tower and the church spire and the wide, flat expanse of the highway that cut through the town. "Drama is at the heart of magic," he said. He waved his hands, not looking at Ohno, and produced a card. The ace of hearts. Figures, he thought. He was tempted to crumple it up and throw it away. Ohno didn't say anything about it, didn't say anything at all, and Nino looked over at him.
Ohno was looking at the town. "Ever since Aiba first left, it's been one of those inevitable things that Jun was going to go with him someday," he said. "He and Aiba and Sho are probably going to stumble into that out there," he said, inclining his head in the direction of the kitchen.
"He won't stay," Nino said. He felt tired.
Ohno hummed thoughtfully. "He's always wanted to go to Las Vegas," he said.
There were times when he forgot how stubborn Ohno could be. "Las Vegas is full of underwear models who pose in fountains and then get drunk and pose again with even less clothes on. It's boring after the first five times." He wanted to close his eyes when Ohno laughed. He hated feeling this way. He should have hitched out after the first day. He shouldn't have been around to make promises and have them broken and for all the same, stupid reasons that he believed in himself. "No, really, it's boring."
"I've never really been anywhere," Ohno said softly after a minute. Nino refused to look at him even though he could feel Ohno's eyes on him. He couldn't make himself move away from the hand that brushed against his. "I've always wanted to see the Grand Canyon."
"Yeah?"
"I want to spit over the edge and see what happens."
Nino laughed, completely unable to stop the way his hand twisted, fitting itself to Ohno's. "I don't think they let you get that close." He considered that. "Although…if there's a way, Aiba will definitely find it."
"Definitely," Ohno agreed.
He didn't squeeze Nino's hand, didn't let go, didn't do anything, but Nino could feel something different in it. Something that made his pulse pick up speed, something that made his stomach flutter. "Yeah," he said mindlessly.
"I want to see the ocean," Ohno said.
Nino had seen the ocean before, on both coasts and at the Gulf of Mexico. It smelled like salt water and wind and it went on forever in a rolling, blue-green-white light-reflecting wave. He'd never cared for it.
And Ohno was waiting for him to speak.
Only an idiot would ask you along, thought Nino, staring sightlessly out the window. You call your mother 'mama' and you LIKE spending your days getting filthy under cars or pulling stinking fish out of a weedy pond. The ocean makes me puke. I'm not going to ask you to come with me. Not ever. "We could drive along the Big Sur and find a nice beach and watch the sunset together," was what he said. He wasn't using Yuuji's voice. "It'd be grossly gay and Jun would retch and pretend not to know us."
"That sounds romantic," Ohno said agreeably. He wasn't using Taka's voice, either.
Nino looked over at him. "You think making Jun vomit is romantic?"
Ohno grinned at him, the one that was mostly in his eyes and wrinkled across the bridge of his nose, a silent laugh. "So do you," he told him.
He jumped him. It was jump him or talk to him, telling him how much worse he was going to be than Noriko, how he wanted a piano because he didn't want to borrow Jun's all the time, beg him to come with, plead to stay here.
Sometimes he forgot how he and Ohno were the same size when Ohno seemed so steady. Nino was actually surprised when Ohno fell back and they both landed, yelping and half-laughing, on Aiba's floor. Nino looped his arms around Ohno's neck as Ohno rolled them over and pinned him to the floor. "Dream on," he invited with a snicker. Joking about Jun was the easier part of this whole goodbye thing.
"Don't do that," Ohno said, his voice soft but something in it was solid like steel. He braced himself above Nino, looking down at him. Nino opened his mouth to ask 'do what' but Ohno spoke again, overriding him. "Chinen's got friends; there's, like, ten of them so they can run the shop for a little while. It's still summer so they won't mind the short notice."
Nino brought one hand down and touched the tip of his forefinger to the tip of Ohno's nose, watching Ohno's eyes cross. "You're crazy, Satoshi," he said. He didn't mean to sound so happy about that.
"I need a day or two," Ohno said, ignoring the jab, moving his face so that Nino's finger was against his lips, kissing it before he shook him off. Nino put his arms around his neck again, hands in his hair. "Just to set things up. And then we can go. All of us."
A goodbye trip, one last ride. He'd take Ohno out, show him the world, and then bring him back home, tuck him back into his tiny town with his Mama and his cars and the diner-and-Jun. Nino wouldn't come back after that, it'd be like the night he'd met Anne. He'd send postcards sometimes because he was selfish like that, but he'd never return. He couldn't take the risk. He traced the rim of Ohno's ear. "We'll take a trip to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon and the coast," he agreed.
"No," Ohno told him. He shifted and a second later Nino felt the cool tips of Ohno's fingers against his own ear, mirroring him.
He understood. "We'll just bum around then," he said, changing things because Ohno changed things. "We'll go nowhere and somewhere, anywhere and everywhere and maybe the Grand Canyon and maybe Las Vegas."
"Definitely to the ocean," Ohno said. His eyes met Nino's, serious and smiling both. He leaned in, brushing their lips together. "Take me far away." He whispered it like a secret.
Nino kissed him back, unable to keep his heartbreak out of it. It was tender and slow and softly parted lips and sweet breath and the gentlest press of mouths. I love you, he thought fiercely.
"I think they're making out in there," Aiba's voice interrupted the delicate kiss. In perfect unison, Ohno and Nino turned their heads to look at the still closed door. Somebody knocked on it. "Are you guys fucking in the office?" Aiba called. Then, "Ow! They might be. It's them!"
"I want to be the bottom today!" Ohno said in Taka's high voice.
Nino laughed before he found Yuuji's voice. "Okay, okay," he called out loudly enough for the others to hear, nudging Ohno off of him and climbing to his feet. His hand automatically found Ohno's again. Just for now, he thought. "Okay."