Forgive and Forget
Oneshot: 4082wc
Rating: Nc-17/ R
Pair: Ohmiya
Genre: Mild angst (...my heart wasn't in it though, if you can't tell)
Summary: A month after Ohno's scandal, Nino still has yet to forgive. Will things ever be the same?
DC: I don't own Arashi, but it's not for lack of trying. THE TIMELINE IN THIS FIC IS WRONG. .
Note: This is based off a dream of evolardnek's, which is why I made up the time line to try and fit the 15 or so lines this is derived from. I'm sorry this sucks, angst is far from my forte. And I'm sorry it's nothing close to your sexy dream, Ken-chan. Also, I'm sorry everyone, I've been on a bit of a semi-hiatus while my life reorganizes, so my series, and other promised fics will be coming as soon as I can write them. ;__;
“What the hell are you doing here?” Nino asked with a quiet snarl, as he set his travel bags in the corner of the hotel room, and returned the card key to his wallet.
“We’re sharing a room.” Ohno said simply. He had arrived first, and was unpacking his bags on the bed haphazardly.
“Fine. I’ll be rooming with Sho then.” Nino picked up his bags again, and turned back for the door.
“Sho is sharing with Aiba.”
“…..”
“I guess…you could room with Jun though, if you hate me so much.” Sighed Ohno. He knew Nino was quickly contemplating whether it was worth putting up with Jun’s pre-concert stress and extreme OCD for three days, just to be away from Ohno. When Nino returned his bags to the corner, a sign of temporary residency, Ohno felt a small bubble of hope expand in his stomach. “Kazu?….Can we talk? Please?”
As if deaf, Nino opened the larger of his bags and removed a change of clothes. When he passed Ohno as he walked to the bathroom, he didn’t look up, or even whisper a snide remark. Ohno watched the slight back retreat until the bathroom door closed.
Despondently, Ohno sighed again, as he heard the bath water start.
It had been nearly a month since the scandal broke, but…..perhaps, some things…couldn’t be forgiven after all.
“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!” The head manager screeched. Ohno flinched back in his chair, his head bowed so low it was less then a centimeter from the conference room table.
“I-I’m sorry, it was so long ago…I was young and drunk…never happen again.” Were the words Ohno mumbled, though he couldn’t tell if anyone but the tabletop heard.
“DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO THIS COMPANY?! DO YOU?! OUR CONTRACTS WITH KODANSHA….GONE…NOT TO MENTION YOUR REPUTATION IS IN THE TOILET!! AN IDOL WITH A SCANDALOUS PAST-”
“…isn’t an idol, but disposable trash.” Ohno finished the manager’s favorite words of idol wisdom, in a soft whisper. He couldn’t bring himself to look at the other members, as the insults and berates rained from the various members of Arashi’s management in turn.
When all the managers had had their say, filing out of the conference room to handle press relations, and all other elements of damage control, only the members of Arashi were left in a thick silence.
“It’s not that bad really.” Aiba tried after a long and painful minute. “At least you weren’t naked in the pictures, like I was.”
“Ma-masaki…I don’t think that’s helping…” Sho stood up from the table, at bit flustered more from the memories of a certain someone’s past scandals, then Ohno’s current one. “But really, every idol goes through this, Satoshi-kun. It means you’ve become so popular, you’re news worthy. You can think of it like a measure of how far you‘ve come…”
“Don’t worry, it will blow over soon, and no one will remember you ever had a threesome.” Jun added, standing from his chair, and giving Ohno a pat on the head.
Ohno could only nod under the weight of Jun’s ringed hand, his head still bowed to the table.
Nino had said nothing the entire meeting. After the other three had left the meeting room, and they were alone, only the clock on the wall disturbed their silence with echoing metronomic ticks.
At last, Ohno lifted his head slightly, his eyes unable to make it to Nino‘s so they settled on the table under Nino‘s hands. “Ka-kazu…I’m sorry, I meant to tell you, I-”
“Why?”
“I…couldn’t find the right time or the right words or-”
“That didn’t answer my question.” Nino said in a dangerous utterance that could level cities with it’s timbre. “I didn’t ask you ‘why didn’t you tell me before I learned about your adultery in a PR meeting’ or even ’why would you do this to me?’ I don‘t care about that, and I don’t want your excuses. I only asked you ‘why.’”
“…I don’t get it….’why’ what?” Ohno trembled. He had never heard this voice from Nino before, ever, and he didn’t know what it’s use could possibly mean. At last his eyes found Nino’s, though once he saw Nino’s strangely emotionless eyes, Ohno’s heart ceased beating.
“You don’t get it? I guess that’d be expecting too much from you, wouldn‘t it? I don‘t want your fucking apologies until you do get it.” Nino stood from his chair, and walked to the exit, turning off the lights, closing the door gently behind him as he left, which scared Ohno more then if the door had been slammed so hard it fell off it’s hinges.
Alone in the newly dark conference room, Ohno let his head rest on the table, his arms folded under his forehead. That’s when the first tears fell. “I said I was sorry…I can’t fix this by myself….I don‘t know what to say other then ‘I‘m sorry‘…”
Ohno listened to Nino shower, as he pretended to take a nap on his bed in their hotel room. Though the bathroom door was closed, he could see Nino’s motions in his minds eye, as younger man scrubbed on the skin Ohno knew more intimately then his own. He could even see, when he heard the clatter of a dropped bottle, the way Nino would tip his soapy head to the side, and mutter a curse word or five as he bent to recover the bottle.
Ohno pulled a pillow over his head, and bit into it, to prevent himself from imagining a naked, wet and soapy Nino bending over.
They hadn’t touched once, even on camera for fan service, since the scandal broke. On Shukudai for example, Nino kept himself well away, their knees not even colliding, when Sho joined them on their couch during one guest interview section.
What was worse though, was off camera, when conversing professionally wasn’t required.
Nino simply ignored Ohno.
It hurt.
No glances, no words, no touches, not even the twitch of an eyebrow when Ohno entered the room.
Ohno would rather have Nino scream, shout, or even physically attack him, then continue playing this ‘Invisible Man’ game.
But Ohno knew better then anyone, that Nino’s will was an insurmountable force. Nothing Ohno said made a difference.
Nothing Ohno did made a difference.
It was as if Ohno no longer existed in Nino’s eyes.
And it really, really hurt.
The shower ended, and Nino emerged from the bathroom fresh as a daisy, though his mood remained on the dour end of impassive as it was before the bath.
Ohno kept the pillow over his face, as Nino tossed his dirty clothes on the second bed. Nino was still for a moment, and Ohno was tempted to sit up, but suddenly there were encroaching footsteps.
Nino stood beside Ohno’s bed. Ohno waited, staring into the white cotton pillowcase, his heart pounding so loudly he was certain Nino could hear it too.
But then Nino was gone. The door to the room opened and closed so quickly, their sounds almost overlapped when they reached Ohno’s ears.
The small bubble of hope in his stomach popped, and Ohno curled up on his bed, very alone and very miserable.
It wasn’t long at all before Aiba exploded into the room with a cheery greeting that only darkened Ohno’s mood.
“Good evening Riida! Are ya nappin’?”
“…yes. Go away please.”
“Oh, okay, then. Sho and I want to help!”
“…No thank you. Napping seems to be one of the few things I can do without help.”
Aiba laughed, and pulled the pillow off Ohno’s face, which was not red and puffy from crying. Nor was there snot trailing from Ohno’s nose.
“Here, Riida…you need a tissue…” Aiba snagged a box of Kleenex from the beside table, and sitting next to the Ohno ball, held the tissue to his Riida’s runny nose. “Sho and I want to help you and Nino get back together! So we bought you this!” Aiba held up a small gift bag, with one hand, as he continued dabbing Ohno’s nose with a second tissue. “If you wear that to the concert rehearsal tonight, I’m sure you’ll be doing it like bunnies tonight!”
“…thanks…Aiba-chan…” Ohno took the tissues from Aiba at last, and blew his nose one last time. “But I don’t think Nino wants to get back together or we’d have done so by now….”
“Don’t say that Riida! You know he loves you!”
“……..I….don’t think he does…after I did that…”
“But you weren’t even dating when that happened right? Wasn‘t that when he was on a ‘journey of self discovery?’”
“Even so, it doesn‘t matter…not to him.” Ohno began picking apart the tissue in his hand subconsciously, raining white confetti on his blankets. “He said something along the lines of…‘sorry isn‘t good enough‘...and I‘ve tried everything…texting him…writing him letters…leaving sticky notes on his dressing room mirror…”
“You also changed the ending to Love so Sweet in rehearsal the other day…MatsuJun was pissed.” Aiba laughed. “What was it you sang at the end? ‘I love you so much Nino….ah, I don‘t remember…“
“It was, ‘I’m so in love with you Kazu, I don’t know what to do without you, I know I don’t deserve it, but please forgive me.” Ohno acutely remembered the modified lyrics, because he had spent an entire night trying to write them, and another day plucking up the courage to sing them. “But it didn’t work…he didn’t even blush or look at me like I was a dork or-”
Suddenly Aiba grabbed Ohno around the shoulders, and shook him once. “No matter what, Nino loves you! He’s just being mega stubborn! All that stuff you did eons ago doesn’t even matter. You just have to chase after him ‘till he comes back around to you!”
“I…I do? He‘ll…come back?”
“Yeah! Just wear what we gave you tonight, and you‘ll be back with Nino in no time!”
“Wha-what’s in the bag? Lingerie?“ Ohno asked, curious about the contents for the first time.
“No, Sho wouldn’t let me buy that for you, but if you need some let me know.” Aiba pouted, and pulled Ohno into a quick one armed hug, before bounding out of the room, leaving as explosively as he came.
“Matsumoto, check. Ninomiya, check. Aiba…big check. Sakurai check. Ohno…eh? Has anyone seen Ohno Satoshi?” The assistant, consulted her watch, then her clipboard. “It’s almost time to leave for the stadium-”
“Ah, here! I’m here! Sorry I’m late.” Ohno jogged out of the elevator to the hotel lobby, where Arashi and staff were gathered, about to depart for the concert rehearsal. “Sorry, again.”
Ohno bowed his head, and adjusted his gym bag strap so the print on his oversized tee-shirt could be seen easily. Beneath an upside-down crescent moon, enclosing a dot, were the words, ‘I’m a fermata. Hold me.’
Sho smiled, when he saw Ohno, and gave him a thumbs up before pinching Aiba’s elbow.
“Ouch, Sho, that hurt-eh? Loop? Book? Oh, your lips are hard to read… Look? At what? Oh!…He wore it!” Aiba ended in a whisper, hiding his obvious grin with a hand.
“You bought him the wrong size, moron, he looks like he‘s swimming in that shirt.” Jun, punched Aiba’s arm as he followed the staff to the bus.
Ohno grinned at Aiba, Sho and Jun before he turned expectantly to Nino, with open arms.
But Nino was gone, walking ahead of even the staff, shuffling a deck of cards.
Even the fermata on Ohno’s chest was disheartened.
The concert rehearsal went off without a hitch in the stadium. Ohno focused on his singing and dancing, to let his mind and heart rest from their constant ache, but he couldn’t help but notice that each time there was an opening, a chance for Nino to reach out, the touch never came.
Rehearsal ended, and all to soon, they were back in the hotel.
“Do you….want to shower first?” Ohno asked, hesitantly. A response never came, so Ohno just nodded tiredly. “Okay, I’ll go first if you don’t mind…”
When he emerged from an uneventful, but lonely bath, dressed in only boxers and a tank top, Ohno was mildly surprised to find Nino still in the room, playing with his cards while sitting on an armchair in the corner of the room.
Leaning against the door frame to the bathroom, Ohno watched Nino practice, the cards flipping, and cutting expertly in the stout but nimble fingers.
“You’ve gotten much better. You used to drop your cards a lot.” Ohno commented with a small smile.
Nino showed no sign of having heard Ohno, as he shuffled a completed trick away.
Ohno‘s gaze dropped to the carpet. “Right. I forgot.…sorry.”
His heart as heavy as his tired feet, Ohno trudged to his bed, selecting a fishing magazine from his suitcase to peruse as he relaxed before bed. He turned to an article on the newest methods for catching giant tuna, and settled on the bed.
The room was deathly quiet. Ohno hadn’t read a word from the article, his eyes proclivity focusing on Nino hands. It was too similar. The resounding silence, the hands, the heavy ambience. Ohno was painfully reminded of that day in the conference room.
The day his wonderful life with Nino ended.
He couldn’t go on like this anymore.
It hurt too much.
Ohno’s eyes reverted to an ad for fishing boats as he spoke quietly. “Kazu. You might hate me, but I still love you.”
Silence.
“I’m sorry. I was lonely, and I went drinking…”
More silence.
“Kazu, please stop this. I can’t take it, please. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry….”
“So that’s why? You were lonely when I left a few years back?” Nino’s hands continued shuffling as if nothing had been said, but Ohno was so startled at Nino’s voice the magazine slipped from his fingers.
Ohno swallowed a growing lump in his throat. He didn’t know what he had said to get Nino talking to him again, and he most certainly didn’t want to screw things up. “Yeah…when you left…I didn’t know what to do…it’s the same now. I love you Kazu, only you…I didn’t know it was possible to feel so miserable again...”
“Your miserable feelings from back then…aren’t they because of the scandal? You’re smarting from falling and scraping your knees. You think if I picked you up and put on a Band-Aid, you’d feel better? That things would heal, and scab over, and we’d be the same as before? If that’s how it is, I don’t want to hear this, and I don’t need your words of love.” Nino’s voice was soft, but dangerous, and he addressed the cards in his hands rather then Ohno. “I don’t need it.”
“No! It has nothing to do with the scandal! I wanted to tell you…honest…but I never had…the chance…” Ohno floundered, he didn’t know what Nino wanted to hear, and what verbal traps Nino was setting against him. “The scandal just came out…before I could say that…I missed you so much, I‘m always…..lonely without you…”
Nino gave a cold, gruff laugh. “You say it like that, and you expect me to trust you?”
Ohno swallowed again. It wasn’t working. He knew he sounded like a sleazy actor on a third rate soap opera trying to explain an affair to his wife. But there was nothing Ohno could do, he just horrible at explaining himself. If only there was a way….then it dawned on Ohno. It was a risky move, to be sure, but it might work. “You don’t trust me? Then come here! I’ll show you! I’ll mark you as mine so no one can touch you!” Ohno declared boldly, holding his head in the air, though what he really wanted to do was bow and continue apologizing.
Nino tipped his head to an angle, with a sarcastic smile. “That’s really dirty.”
“You said it first!” Ohno countered. “You marked me first, and it wasn’t dirty then!”
“Yeah, but I was the one doing the marking.” Nino set the cards on the small table next to his arm chair before standing up and crossing to Ohno‘s bed. “The issue here isn’t even someone else touching me, but your inability to keep your hands to yourself.”
“Kazu, I told you. You left. I was lonely and I drank myself senseless.” Ohno’s eyes went as round as dinner plates as Nino neared. Though Nino pulled Ohno up roughly, and slammed against the head board, Ohno thought he must have been dreaming when Nino straddled his lap seconds later.
Inches from Ohno’s nose, Nino growled. “Don’t play around with me! If this is just a cover for your philandering, to make yourself feel better-”
Subconsciously tossing the magazine from his lap as he sat up, Ohno wrapped his arms around Nino’s waist, his voice breaking, chin trembling, as he whispered with all his heart. “Kazu, I love you.”
Ohno bit his bottom lip, waiting, matching Nino’s cold stare with his own unblinking watery gaze.
Quite suddenly Ohno was staring at Nino’s chin, and a warmth was spreading from a small spot on his forehead. Ohno swallowed again as Nino’s soft lips disappeared from the gentle kiss between his brows, and he didn’t even have time to blink before Nino’s lips found his.
It wasn’t passionate, deep or electrifying.
It was just a kiss.
But to Ohno, in those brief seconds his lips were against Nino‘s, it was like the world began spinning again, when he hadn’t even realized it had stopped.
When Nino broke the kiss, and shifted back, Ohno fell limp against the headboard, dazed. It didn’t even register that Nino had removed his shirt until their lips were together again, and Ohno’s hands instinctively ran along Nino’s bare back. His eyes widened with the implications, but they closed quickly when Nino’s tongue breached his lips for the first time in month.
It felt like their first French kiss all over again.
Just not as clumsy.
How could Ohno have forgotten the sensation of their tongues spiraling together like ivy, or Nino playing his teeth like piano keys, or how long Nino’s tongue must have been to reach that spot behind his molars?
With a grunt of displeasure when Nino’s tongue retreated, Ohno took the time to remove his own tank top, realizing painfully, that his pants seemed to have become three sizes too small as Nino continued to straddle his waist.
Noticing the same bulging issue, Nino stepped off the bed briefly to remove his own pants, and let Ohno shimmy out of his boxers.
There wasn’t even time for the newly naked Ohno to note the sudden cold before Nino was straddling him again, kissing with fervor .
It had only been a month, yet the feel of Nino’s skin against his was almost strange. Rough, but smooth, warm, but not meltingly so. Nino’s hands, cupping Ohno’s chin, and sliding along his chest, left a trail of goosebumps in their wake that had nothing to do with a chill.
Their naked members brushed against each other accidentally when Nino moved forward in an effort to deepen an already deep kiss.
Ohno moaned loudly, and Nino let out a high pitched grunt.
Throbbing, they brushed against each other again, purposefully as Nino rocked back and forth on Ohno’s lap.
With his eyes half lidded from the onslaught of sensations, Ohno set about kissing every square inch of Nino’s face, his hands again wrapped around the younger’s waist, groping his way gently along Nino’s ass. When his hand brushed against Nino’s hole, Ohno’s fingers retreated to safer territory, though he continued sucking along Nino’s neck.
Suddenly, Nino’s hand was over his, guiding it back over his ass. Ohno swallowed, unreasonably nervous as he teased Nino‘s entrance. He let out a low hiss when Nino unexpectedly poured cold lube over his hard and somewhat neglected member. He didn’t know when Nino found the lube, but he was certainly glad it was there, and twice as glad Nino felt the need to coat Ohno thoroughly in a series of arousing strokes.
With another passionate kiss, Nino removed Ohno’s hand, and rose to his knees, wiping excess lube on the bundled sheets around them before grabbing Ohno‘s shoulders.
All at once, Nino impaled himself in one swift motion that Ohno really should have seen coming.
“Hiee-haaee-hnn” With high whimpers, Nino slowly let himself take in more, and more of Ohno’s impressive length.
“Uuhhnnn” Ohno groaned, wrapping one arm around Nino’s waist, and stroking Nino’s member with a free hand.
“Heaaa-heeaa” With shaking thighs, Nino rose almost completely off Ohno, before dropping down again, with more force, enveloping Ohno further into Nino’s warmth.
Only after Nino had paused, mounted on Ohno almost to the hilt, did Ohno realize he should do something too.
With a sudden snap of his hips that made Nino cry out in immeasurable ecstasy, Ohno abandoned his activities with Nino’s member to firmly grip the younger man’s waist for support.
Ohno was nothing if not skilled in using his hips and mouth simultaneously. Attaching his lips to a delicious looking collarbone, and with Nino’s stout hands gripping almost painfully at his hair, Ohno thrust up again.
Nino moaned something that could only translate as a conglomerate word of ‘more’ and ‘amazing,’ and he lifted himself off Ohno slightly.
Grunting low and deep in consenting response, Ohno recovered the space gap quickly, spiraling himself back inside with small, quick circles ending with another snap, brushing against Nino’s magical spot. Nino’s voice hitched in another moan, shaking in the effort of restraining himself.
Though it had been so long, Ohno could still sense the end coming in both of them, and with one last pelvic thrust, Ohno bit down on Nino’s collar bone as he came deep inside Nino. Within seconds, Nino’s grip on Ohno’s hair tightened, and with a last sultry cry, Nino came all over Ohno’s chest.
Wobbling in the remnants of the afterglow, Nino hoisted himself off Ohno as soon has his legs could support him, but remained in Ohno’s lap, running his hands though Ohno’s hair, as the older man laced his hands around the small of Nino’s back.
After several minutes of simply existing in each other‘s arms, reality came back to Ohno, his head resting on Nino’s shoulder. “W-was that….make-up, or break-up sex?”
“You couldn’t tell?” Nino asked, with an accusing voice that made Ohno flinch.
“…Do I have to answer?”
“Yeah. The answer might change if you get it wrong.”
“…….that’s not fair.”
“Life isn’t fair. Just answer.”
“It felt like really good make-up sex…but that might be wishful thinking.” Ohno sighed.
“Hmm, okay, we’ll go with that for now. It might change later though.” Nino kissed the top of Ohno’s head.
Ohno simply squeezed Nino tighter.
Nino squeezed back.
“Toshi, you‘ve made me sticky.”
“Sorry…”
“You want to take another bath?” Nino asked sheepishly with a small smile, and Ohno felt he could die happy.
“Mm, okay. Would you drop the shampoo bottle?” Ohno asked hopefully.
Nino laughed, kissing Ohno’s nose as their hands laced together while they walked towards the bath. “Sure, if you pick it up for me.”
“Hey, no…you’re supposed to pick up the bottle…” Ohno pouted, tugging on Nino’s arm, as they stumbled into the bathroom.
“Oy! You bit me!” Catching sight of himself in the bathroom mirror, Nino put a hand to his collarbone where Ohno’s teeth marks were highly visible. “You know they’ll be taking pictures of us tomorrow for the photo book.”
“Sorry…I forgot about the pictures…but I did warn you.” Ohno set out fresh towels as Nino ran the bath water.
“You did not.”
“I did, I said I was going to mark you as mine.” Ohno pulled Nino close again, kissing over the bite mark. “Mine.”
“I haven’t forgiven you yet.” Nino said evenly, and Ohno’s heart fell to his stomach as he backed away, scared. “I don’t think I will anytime soon.”
“But…I said sorry….and …you said we had make-up sex…doesn’t that mean-”
Nino put a finger to Ohno’s lips. “It means I’m too weak to break it off with you. But if something like this happens again, I swear it’s over for good.”
Ohno’s eyes widened. “Never again.”
Nino dipped a wash cloth in the bath water, and wrung out the excess. “Okay, now that that’s settled, come here so I can wipe that stuff off your chest.”
Rating: Nc-17/ R
Pair: Ohmiya
Genre: Mild angst (...my heart wasn't in it though, if you can't tell)
Summary: A month after Ohno's scandal, Nino still has yet to forgive. Will things ever be the same?
DC: I don't own Arashi, but it's not for lack of trying. THE TIMELINE IN THIS FIC IS WRONG. .
Note: This is based off a dream of evolardnek's, which is why I made up the time line to try and fit the 15 or so lines this is derived from. I'm sorry this sucks, angst is far from my forte. And I'm sorry it's nothing close to your sexy dream, Ken-chan. Also, I'm sorry everyone, I've been on a bit of a semi-hiatus while my life reorganizes, so my series, and other promised fics will be coming as soon as I can write them. ;__;
“What the hell are you doing here?” Nino asked with a quiet snarl, as he set his travel bags in the corner of the hotel room, and returned the card key to his wallet.
“We’re sharing a room.” Ohno said simply. He had arrived first, and was unpacking his bags on the bed haphazardly.
“Fine. I’ll be rooming with Sho then.” Nino picked up his bags again, and turned back for the door.
“Sho is sharing with Aiba.”
“…..”
“I guess…you could room with Jun though, if you hate me so much.” Sighed Ohno. He knew Nino was quickly contemplating whether it was worth putting up with Jun’s pre-concert stress and extreme OCD for three days, just to be away from Ohno. When Nino returned his bags to the corner, a sign of temporary residency, Ohno felt a small bubble of hope expand in his stomach. “Kazu?….Can we talk? Please?”
As if deaf, Nino opened the larger of his bags and removed a change of clothes. When he passed Ohno as he walked to the bathroom, he didn’t look up, or even whisper a snide remark. Ohno watched the slight back retreat until the bathroom door closed.
Despondently, Ohno sighed again, as he heard the bath water start.
It had been nearly a month since the scandal broke, but…..perhaps, some things…couldn’t be forgiven after all.
“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!” The head manager screeched. Ohno flinched back in his chair, his head bowed so low it was less then a centimeter from the conference room table.
“I-I’m sorry, it was so long ago…I was young and drunk…never happen again.” Were the words Ohno mumbled, though he couldn’t tell if anyone but the tabletop heard.
“DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO THIS COMPANY?! DO YOU?! OUR CONTRACTS WITH KODANSHA….GONE…NOT TO MENTION YOUR REPUTATION IS IN THE TOILET!! AN IDOL WITH A SCANDALOUS PAST-”
“…isn’t an idol, but disposable trash.” Ohno finished the manager’s favorite words of idol wisdom, in a soft whisper. He couldn’t bring himself to look at the other members, as the insults and berates rained from the various members of Arashi’s management in turn.
When all the managers had had their say, filing out of the conference room to handle press relations, and all other elements of damage control, only the members of Arashi were left in a thick silence.
“It’s not that bad really.” Aiba tried after a long and painful minute. “At least you weren’t naked in the pictures, like I was.”
“Ma-masaki…I don’t think that’s helping…” Sho stood up from the table, at bit flustered more from the memories of a certain someone’s past scandals, then Ohno’s current one. “But really, every idol goes through this, Satoshi-kun. It means you’ve become so popular, you’re news worthy. You can think of it like a measure of how far you‘ve come…”
“Don’t worry, it will blow over soon, and no one will remember you ever had a threesome.” Jun added, standing from his chair, and giving Ohno a pat on the head.
Ohno could only nod under the weight of Jun’s ringed hand, his head still bowed to the table.
Nino had said nothing the entire meeting. After the other three had left the meeting room, and they were alone, only the clock on the wall disturbed their silence with echoing metronomic ticks.
At last, Ohno lifted his head slightly, his eyes unable to make it to Nino‘s so they settled on the table under Nino‘s hands. “Ka-kazu…I’m sorry, I meant to tell you, I-”
“Why?”
“I…couldn’t find the right time or the right words or-”
“That didn’t answer my question.” Nino said in a dangerous utterance that could level cities with it’s timbre. “I didn’t ask you ‘why didn’t you tell me before I learned about your adultery in a PR meeting’ or even ’why would you do this to me?’ I don‘t care about that, and I don’t want your excuses. I only asked you ‘why.’”
“…I don’t get it….’why’ what?” Ohno trembled. He had never heard this voice from Nino before, ever, and he didn’t know what it’s use could possibly mean. At last his eyes found Nino’s, though once he saw Nino’s strangely emotionless eyes, Ohno’s heart ceased beating.
“You don’t get it? I guess that’d be expecting too much from you, wouldn‘t it? I don‘t want your fucking apologies until you do get it.” Nino stood from his chair, and walked to the exit, turning off the lights, closing the door gently behind him as he left, which scared Ohno more then if the door had been slammed so hard it fell off it’s hinges.
Alone in the newly dark conference room, Ohno let his head rest on the table, his arms folded under his forehead. That’s when the first tears fell. “I said I was sorry…I can’t fix this by myself….I don‘t know what to say other then ‘I‘m sorry‘…”
Ohno listened to Nino shower, as he pretended to take a nap on his bed in their hotel room. Though the bathroom door was closed, he could see Nino’s motions in his minds eye, as younger man scrubbed on the skin Ohno knew more intimately then his own. He could even see, when he heard the clatter of a dropped bottle, the way Nino would tip his soapy head to the side, and mutter a curse word or five as he bent to recover the bottle.
Ohno pulled a pillow over his head, and bit into it, to prevent himself from imagining a naked, wet and soapy Nino bending over.
They hadn’t touched once, even on camera for fan service, since the scandal broke. On Shukudai for example, Nino kept himself well away, their knees not even colliding, when Sho joined them on their couch during one guest interview section.
What was worse though, was off camera, when conversing professionally wasn’t required.
Nino simply ignored Ohno.
It hurt.
No glances, no words, no touches, not even the twitch of an eyebrow when Ohno entered the room.
Ohno would rather have Nino scream, shout, or even physically attack him, then continue playing this ‘Invisible Man’ game.
But Ohno knew better then anyone, that Nino’s will was an insurmountable force. Nothing Ohno said made a difference.
Nothing Ohno did made a difference.
It was as if Ohno no longer existed in Nino’s eyes.
And it really, really hurt.
The shower ended, and Nino emerged from the bathroom fresh as a daisy, though his mood remained on the dour end of impassive as it was before the bath.
Ohno kept the pillow over his face, as Nino tossed his dirty clothes on the second bed. Nino was still for a moment, and Ohno was tempted to sit up, but suddenly there were encroaching footsteps.
Nino stood beside Ohno’s bed. Ohno waited, staring into the white cotton pillowcase, his heart pounding so loudly he was certain Nino could hear it too.
But then Nino was gone. The door to the room opened and closed so quickly, their sounds almost overlapped when they reached Ohno’s ears.
The small bubble of hope in his stomach popped, and Ohno curled up on his bed, very alone and very miserable.
It wasn’t long at all before Aiba exploded into the room with a cheery greeting that only darkened Ohno’s mood.
“Good evening Riida! Are ya nappin’?”
“…yes. Go away please.”
“Oh, okay, then. Sho and I want to help!”
“…No thank you. Napping seems to be one of the few things I can do without help.”
Aiba laughed, and pulled the pillow off Ohno’s face, which was not red and puffy from crying. Nor was there snot trailing from Ohno’s nose.
“Here, Riida…you need a tissue…” Aiba snagged a box of Kleenex from the beside table, and sitting next to the Ohno ball, held the tissue to his Riida’s runny nose. “Sho and I want to help you and Nino get back together! So we bought you this!” Aiba held up a small gift bag, with one hand, as he continued dabbing Ohno’s nose with a second tissue. “If you wear that to the concert rehearsal tonight, I’m sure you’ll be doing it like bunnies tonight!”
“…thanks…Aiba-chan…” Ohno took the tissues from Aiba at last, and blew his nose one last time. “But I don’t think Nino wants to get back together or we’d have done so by now….”
“Don’t say that Riida! You know he loves you!”
“……..I….don’t think he does…after I did that…”
“But you weren’t even dating when that happened right? Wasn‘t that when he was on a ‘journey of self discovery?’”
“Even so, it doesn‘t matter…not to him.” Ohno began picking apart the tissue in his hand subconsciously, raining white confetti on his blankets. “He said something along the lines of…‘sorry isn‘t good enough‘...and I‘ve tried everything…texting him…writing him letters…leaving sticky notes on his dressing room mirror…”
“You also changed the ending to Love so Sweet in rehearsal the other day…MatsuJun was pissed.” Aiba laughed. “What was it you sang at the end? ‘I love you so much Nino….ah, I don‘t remember…“
“It was, ‘I’m so in love with you Kazu, I don’t know what to do without you, I know I don’t deserve it, but please forgive me.” Ohno acutely remembered the modified lyrics, because he had spent an entire night trying to write them, and another day plucking up the courage to sing them. “But it didn’t work…he didn’t even blush or look at me like I was a dork or-”
Suddenly Aiba grabbed Ohno around the shoulders, and shook him once. “No matter what, Nino loves you! He’s just being mega stubborn! All that stuff you did eons ago doesn’t even matter. You just have to chase after him ‘till he comes back around to you!”
“I…I do? He‘ll…come back?”
“Yeah! Just wear what we gave you tonight, and you‘ll be back with Nino in no time!”
“Wha-what’s in the bag? Lingerie?“ Ohno asked, curious about the contents for the first time.
“No, Sho wouldn’t let me buy that for you, but if you need some let me know.” Aiba pouted, and pulled Ohno into a quick one armed hug, before bounding out of the room, leaving as explosively as he came.
“Matsumoto, check. Ninomiya, check. Aiba…big check. Sakurai check. Ohno…eh? Has anyone seen Ohno Satoshi?” The assistant, consulted her watch, then her clipboard. “It’s almost time to leave for the stadium-”
“Ah, here! I’m here! Sorry I’m late.” Ohno jogged out of the elevator to the hotel lobby, where Arashi and staff were gathered, about to depart for the concert rehearsal. “Sorry, again.”
Ohno bowed his head, and adjusted his gym bag strap so the print on his oversized tee-shirt could be seen easily. Beneath an upside-down crescent moon, enclosing a dot, were the words, ‘I’m a fermata. Hold me.’
Sho smiled, when he saw Ohno, and gave him a thumbs up before pinching Aiba’s elbow.
“Ouch, Sho, that hurt-eh? Loop? Book? Oh, your lips are hard to read… Look? At what? Oh!…He wore it!” Aiba ended in a whisper, hiding his obvious grin with a hand.
“You bought him the wrong size, moron, he looks like he‘s swimming in that shirt.” Jun, punched Aiba’s arm as he followed the staff to the bus.
Ohno grinned at Aiba, Sho and Jun before he turned expectantly to Nino, with open arms.
But Nino was gone, walking ahead of even the staff, shuffling a deck of cards.
Even the fermata on Ohno’s chest was disheartened.
The concert rehearsal went off without a hitch in the stadium. Ohno focused on his singing and dancing, to let his mind and heart rest from their constant ache, but he couldn’t help but notice that each time there was an opening, a chance for Nino to reach out, the touch never came.
Rehearsal ended, and all to soon, they were back in the hotel.
“Do you….want to shower first?” Ohno asked, hesitantly. A response never came, so Ohno just nodded tiredly. “Okay, I’ll go first if you don’t mind…”
When he emerged from an uneventful, but lonely bath, dressed in only boxers and a tank top, Ohno was mildly surprised to find Nino still in the room, playing with his cards while sitting on an armchair in the corner of the room.
Leaning against the door frame to the bathroom, Ohno watched Nino practice, the cards flipping, and cutting expertly in the stout but nimble fingers.
“You’ve gotten much better. You used to drop your cards a lot.” Ohno commented with a small smile.
Nino showed no sign of having heard Ohno, as he shuffled a completed trick away.
Ohno‘s gaze dropped to the carpet. “Right. I forgot.…sorry.”
His heart as heavy as his tired feet, Ohno trudged to his bed, selecting a fishing magazine from his suitcase to peruse as he relaxed before bed. He turned to an article on the newest methods for catching giant tuna, and settled on the bed.
The room was deathly quiet. Ohno hadn’t read a word from the article, his eyes proclivity focusing on Nino hands. It was too similar. The resounding silence, the hands, the heavy ambience. Ohno was painfully reminded of that day in the conference room.
The day his wonderful life with Nino ended.
He couldn’t go on like this anymore.
It hurt too much.
Ohno’s eyes reverted to an ad for fishing boats as he spoke quietly. “Kazu. You might hate me, but I still love you.”
Silence.
“I’m sorry. I was lonely, and I went drinking…”
More silence.
“Kazu, please stop this. I can’t take it, please. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry….”
“So that’s why? You were lonely when I left a few years back?” Nino’s hands continued shuffling as if nothing had been said, but Ohno was so startled at Nino’s voice the magazine slipped from his fingers.
Ohno swallowed a growing lump in his throat. He didn’t know what he had said to get Nino talking to him again, and he most certainly didn’t want to screw things up. “Yeah…when you left…I didn’t know what to do…it’s the same now. I love you Kazu, only you…I didn’t know it was possible to feel so miserable again...”
“Your miserable feelings from back then…aren’t they because of the scandal? You’re smarting from falling and scraping your knees. You think if I picked you up and put on a Band-Aid, you’d feel better? That things would heal, and scab over, and we’d be the same as before? If that’s how it is, I don’t want to hear this, and I don’t need your words of love.” Nino’s voice was soft, but dangerous, and he addressed the cards in his hands rather then Ohno. “I don’t need it.”
“No! It has nothing to do with the scandal! I wanted to tell you…honest…but I never had…the chance…” Ohno floundered, he didn’t know what Nino wanted to hear, and what verbal traps Nino was setting against him. “The scandal just came out…before I could say that…I missed you so much, I‘m always…..lonely without you…”
Nino gave a cold, gruff laugh. “You say it like that, and you expect me to trust you?”
Ohno swallowed again. It wasn’t working. He knew he sounded like a sleazy actor on a third rate soap opera trying to explain an affair to his wife. But there was nothing Ohno could do, he just horrible at explaining himself. If only there was a way….then it dawned on Ohno. It was a risky move, to be sure, but it might work. “You don’t trust me? Then come here! I’ll show you! I’ll mark you as mine so no one can touch you!” Ohno declared boldly, holding his head in the air, though what he really wanted to do was bow and continue apologizing.
Nino tipped his head to an angle, with a sarcastic smile. “That’s really dirty.”
“You said it first!” Ohno countered. “You marked me first, and it wasn’t dirty then!”
“Yeah, but I was the one doing the marking.” Nino set the cards on the small table next to his arm chair before standing up and crossing to Ohno‘s bed. “The issue here isn’t even someone else touching me, but your inability to keep your hands to yourself.”
“Kazu, I told you. You left. I was lonely and I drank myself senseless.” Ohno’s eyes went as round as dinner plates as Nino neared. Though Nino pulled Ohno up roughly, and slammed against the head board, Ohno thought he must have been dreaming when Nino straddled his lap seconds later.
Inches from Ohno’s nose, Nino growled. “Don’t play around with me! If this is just a cover for your philandering, to make yourself feel better-”
Subconsciously tossing the magazine from his lap as he sat up, Ohno wrapped his arms around Nino’s waist, his voice breaking, chin trembling, as he whispered with all his heart. “Kazu, I love you.”
Ohno bit his bottom lip, waiting, matching Nino’s cold stare with his own unblinking watery gaze.
Quite suddenly Ohno was staring at Nino’s chin, and a warmth was spreading from a small spot on his forehead. Ohno swallowed again as Nino’s soft lips disappeared from the gentle kiss between his brows, and he didn’t even have time to blink before Nino’s lips found his.
It wasn’t passionate, deep or electrifying.
It was just a kiss.
But to Ohno, in those brief seconds his lips were against Nino‘s, it was like the world began spinning again, when he hadn’t even realized it had stopped.
When Nino broke the kiss, and shifted back, Ohno fell limp against the headboard, dazed. It didn’t even register that Nino had removed his shirt until their lips were together again, and Ohno’s hands instinctively ran along Nino’s bare back. His eyes widened with the implications, but they closed quickly when Nino’s tongue breached his lips for the first time in month.
It felt like their first French kiss all over again.
Just not as clumsy.
How could Ohno have forgotten the sensation of their tongues spiraling together like ivy, or Nino playing his teeth like piano keys, or how long Nino’s tongue must have been to reach that spot behind his molars?
With a grunt of displeasure when Nino’s tongue retreated, Ohno took the time to remove his own tank top, realizing painfully, that his pants seemed to have become three sizes too small as Nino continued to straddle his waist.
Noticing the same bulging issue, Nino stepped off the bed briefly to remove his own pants, and let Ohno shimmy out of his boxers.
There wasn’t even time for the newly naked Ohno to note the sudden cold before Nino was straddling him again, kissing with fervor .
It had only been a month, yet the feel of Nino’s skin against his was almost strange. Rough, but smooth, warm, but not meltingly so. Nino’s hands, cupping Ohno’s chin, and sliding along his chest, left a trail of goosebumps in their wake that had nothing to do with a chill.
Their naked members brushed against each other accidentally when Nino moved forward in an effort to deepen an already deep kiss.
Ohno moaned loudly, and Nino let out a high pitched grunt.
Throbbing, they brushed against each other again, purposefully as Nino rocked back and forth on Ohno’s lap.
With his eyes half lidded from the onslaught of sensations, Ohno set about kissing every square inch of Nino’s face, his hands again wrapped around the younger’s waist, groping his way gently along Nino’s ass. When his hand brushed against Nino’s hole, Ohno’s fingers retreated to safer territory, though he continued sucking along Nino’s neck.
Suddenly, Nino’s hand was over his, guiding it back over his ass. Ohno swallowed, unreasonably nervous as he teased Nino‘s entrance. He let out a low hiss when Nino unexpectedly poured cold lube over his hard and somewhat neglected member. He didn’t know when Nino found the lube, but he was certainly glad it was there, and twice as glad Nino felt the need to coat Ohno thoroughly in a series of arousing strokes.
With another passionate kiss, Nino removed Ohno’s hand, and rose to his knees, wiping excess lube on the bundled sheets around them before grabbing Ohno‘s shoulders.
All at once, Nino impaled himself in one swift motion that Ohno really should have seen coming.
“Hiee-haaee-hnn” With high whimpers, Nino slowly let himself take in more, and more of Ohno’s impressive length.
“Uuhhnnn” Ohno groaned, wrapping one arm around Nino’s waist, and stroking Nino’s member with a free hand.
“Heaaa-heeaa” With shaking thighs, Nino rose almost completely off Ohno, before dropping down again, with more force, enveloping Ohno further into Nino’s warmth.
Only after Nino had paused, mounted on Ohno almost to the hilt, did Ohno realize he should do something too.
With a sudden snap of his hips that made Nino cry out in immeasurable ecstasy, Ohno abandoned his activities with Nino’s member to firmly grip the younger man’s waist for support.
Ohno was nothing if not skilled in using his hips and mouth simultaneously. Attaching his lips to a delicious looking collarbone, and with Nino’s stout hands gripping almost painfully at his hair, Ohno thrust up again.
Nino moaned something that could only translate as a conglomerate word of ‘more’ and ‘amazing,’ and he lifted himself off Ohno slightly.
Grunting low and deep in consenting response, Ohno recovered the space gap quickly, spiraling himself back inside with small, quick circles ending with another snap, brushing against Nino’s magical spot. Nino’s voice hitched in another moan, shaking in the effort of restraining himself.
Though it had been so long, Ohno could still sense the end coming in both of them, and with one last pelvic thrust, Ohno bit down on Nino’s collar bone as he came deep inside Nino. Within seconds, Nino’s grip on Ohno’s hair tightened, and with a last sultry cry, Nino came all over Ohno’s chest.
Wobbling in the remnants of the afterglow, Nino hoisted himself off Ohno as soon has his legs could support him, but remained in Ohno’s lap, running his hands though Ohno’s hair, as the older man laced his hands around the small of Nino’s back.
After several minutes of simply existing in each other‘s arms, reality came back to Ohno, his head resting on Nino’s shoulder. “W-was that….make-up, or break-up sex?”
“You couldn’t tell?” Nino asked, with an accusing voice that made Ohno flinch.
“…Do I have to answer?”
“Yeah. The answer might change if you get it wrong.”
“…….that’s not fair.”
“Life isn’t fair. Just answer.”
“It felt like really good make-up sex…but that might be wishful thinking.” Ohno sighed.
“Hmm, okay, we’ll go with that for now. It might change later though.” Nino kissed the top of Ohno’s head.
Ohno simply squeezed Nino tighter.
Nino squeezed back.
“Toshi, you‘ve made me sticky.”
“Sorry…”
“You want to take another bath?” Nino asked sheepishly with a small smile, and Ohno felt he could die happy.
“Mm, okay. Would you drop the shampoo bottle?” Ohno asked hopefully.
Nino laughed, kissing Ohno’s nose as their hands laced together while they walked towards the bath. “Sure, if you pick it up for me.”
“Hey, no…you’re supposed to pick up the bottle…” Ohno pouted, tugging on Nino’s arm, as they stumbled into the bathroom.
“Oy! You bit me!” Catching sight of himself in the bathroom mirror, Nino put a hand to his collarbone where Ohno’s teeth marks were highly visible. “You know they’ll be taking pictures of us tomorrow for the photo book.”
“Sorry…I forgot about the pictures…but I did warn you.” Ohno set out fresh towels as Nino ran the bath water.
“You did not.”
“I did, I said I was going to mark you as mine.” Ohno pulled Nino close again, kissing over the bite mark. “Mine.”
“I haven’t forgiven you yet.” Nino said evenly, and Ohno’s heart fell to his stomach as he backed away, scared. “I don’t think I will anytime soon.”
“But…I said sorry….and …you said we had make-up sex…doesn’t that mean-”
Nino put a finger to Ohno’s lips. “It means I’m too weak to break it off with you. But if something like this happens again, I swear it’s over for good.”
Ohno’s eyes widened. “Never again.”
Nino dipped a wash cloth in the bath water, and wrung out the excess. “Okay, now that that’s settled, come here so I can wipe that stuff off your chest.”