Four Times Gabriel Took Care of Sam and One Time Sam Took Care of Him
Title: Five Times Gabriel Took Care of Sam and One Time Sam Took Care of Him
Author: Aquariell
Summary: See Title
Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine. Proof of this is evident in the lack of hugs.
AN: My first time posting fic so please be gentle ^.^ Betaed by the eternally awesome Beriadhwen. Feedback keeps me alive!
Four Times Gabriel took care of Sam and one time Sam took care of him
ONE
Sam’s gotten used to the nightmares. They come every night, no matter what he tries to get them to stop. He stays awake for as long as possible but eventually it starts affecting his hunting and he has no choice but to close his eyes and let the pain come. He’s gotten used to seeing his loved ones ripped to shreds, to seeing himself doing the ripping, sometimes when Lucifer is particularly frustrated with him it’s one of them ripping into him. The variations keep Sam from numbing himself to them and every night is a new study in pain and fear. Until one night it ends. One second he’s seeing Cas’ wings shredded the next he’s sleeping peacefully, dreamless. He hears a soft voice whisper your safe now, Sam and smiles.
He almost expects Gabriel to be there when he wakes up but he isn’t. The only sign the angel was ever there is a huge tawny colored feather laying across Sam’s pillow.
TWO
Dean is yelling at someone. Sam can’t really understand what he’s saying but he sounds almost like he’s hysterical. Sam tries to make out the words, it gives him something to focus on other than the pain, but he’s unsuccessful and eventually the yelling stops. The door opens and Sam wonders who it is. He’s facing the wrong way to see, and it hurts too much to turn around. There’s a sigh and the bed dips, before gentle hands roll him over on his back. Sam cries out and tries to curl up again but the hands won’t let them.
“Shh. It’s ok, Sam. Let me see.” He pulls Sam’s hands away from his wound and draws in a breath between his teeth. “That’s one nasty scratch you got there, kiddo.”
“Gabriel.” Sam says clutching the angel’s arm. Dean had done all he could but he was bleeding too much for stitching it to be anything like easy and there wasn’t a hospital for miles. He’d never have made it if Gabriel hadn't come. With Cas not being able to heal anymore, Sam had really thought he was going to die this time. Gabriel strokes his hair gently.
“It’s gonna be okay now, Sam. I’m here.”
THREE
The impala has broken down. It happens sometimes. Dean will pull over and they’ll sit on the side of the road until he fixes her. It’s not a big deal.
Until, that is, it happens at three in the morning in November and Sam’s stupid, stubborn brother refuses to let the resident archangel mojo it better and he ends up curled up in the back seat freezing his ass off because Dean has given Cas the blanket.
It’s blatant favoritism.
Sam would say as much if it wouldn’t make him sound like a spoiled brat.
As it is he swallows his protests and huddles, shivering. At least he doesn’t have to share the back seat with Gabriel. The archangel had flown off somewhere as soon as it became apparent Dean wasn’t going to let him help. They could have all gone with him but Dean had absolutely refused to leave the impala and Sam, for reasons he’s now seriously reconsidering, had refused to leave Dean. He’s just about to give up on sleep completely when suddenly he’s covered by what has to be the softest blanket in existence, and Gabriel is curled up in front of him. Sam blinks.
“You went to find a blanket?” He whispers. Gabriel snuggles closer.
“Nicest one I could find.” Sam smiles, warm and cozy cuddled up with his angel. Maybe sharing won’t be so bad after all.
“You’ll always be my favorite, Sammy.” Sam blushes and is glad that Gabriel can’t see it. The laughter from the form next to him says he knows anyway.
FOUR
Sam is shaking, the withdrawal coursing through him. He can’t believe he let that demon get close enough to do this to him. One tiny little drop of blood in his mouth and he’d completely lost his shit. And now he’s in Bobby’s panic room again alone with only his hallucinations to keep him company. They’re pretty piss poor company.
What’s more, is that Gabriel was there. He saw.
Sam knows that Gabriel was probably always aware, intellectually, of what Sam is. But now he’s seen it. He saw Sam latch onto that creature’s wound like it was the only thing keeping him alive. All it had had to do was press it’s cut arm to Sam’s mouth and Sam was gone. It was pathetic.
And he’s not here. Sam is screaming in pain and Gabriel’s not here. Sam knows what that means. He’d expected it, almost, from the moment the archangel yanked him back, looked at Sam’s blood streaked face with sad, disappointed eyes.
He’s lost the best thing that’s ever happened to him. Sam sobs at the thought.
The door to the room opens and as his angel walks in. Not his, not anymore. Sam struggles to hold back his tears. He can’t do this not again.
“Not real. It’s not real.” He chants to himself softly and the hallucination sighs. It sits on the cot next to Sam and reaches out a hand.
Sam flinches back. “Just go away! Please just go away.”
“Sam…” It whispers sounding hurt.
“I’m sorry.” Sam says automatically, then glares. “No you’re not him. Go away.”
“Sam it’s me. I’m real-.” Sam cuts him off shaking his head.
“No. He wouldn’t be here. Doesn’t want to see me.” The hallucination looks stricken.
“How could you think that, Sam?”
“He knows what I am now. Saw it. Won’t want me anymore.”
“Sammy.” It says, sadly. It climbs onto the cot with him curling up against him and Sam would fight it if it wasn’t so close to what he wants right now. “Get some sleep, kiddo you’ll feel better tomorrow.” Sam presses into it sighing. There’s no harm in pretending. Just for tonight.
“Wish you were real…” The hallucination makes adevastated noise.
“I am, Sammy. And I love you.” Sam let’s himself believe it.
One
Lucifer is dead. There’s a blinding flash of light after Gabriel stabs him, a loud painful whining noise that must be his True Voice, shattering all the glass in the hotel and for a moment Sam thinks he’s dying along with the devil.
Then is stops and there’s nothing.
The quiet is eerie and devastating until it’s broken when Gabriel’s sword falls from his fingers. The archangel backs away from his brother’s corpse a horrified look on his face. This is exactly what he’d wanted to avoid when he left home. He never wanted to spill his brothers’ blood. Never. A choked noise escapes his throat and he collapses to the ground. His brother is dead. And he’d killed him.
Gabriel can’t hold the sobs back anymore. He cries harder than he ever has before, finishing a grieving process begun ages ago when Lucifer first left heaven.
Murderer. The word repeats in his head over and over again. Murderer.
He doesn’t register Sam’s arms around him at first. It’s only when Sam’s calming words reach his ears that he remembers the human is there at all.
“-Sorry. I’m so sorry. Shhh. Shhh. I’m sorry.” He’s relieved that Sam doesn’t try to tell him it’s okay. Killing your brother is anything but okay. He thinks he understands now why Michael pulled away. How could he have faced their family after something like this. They were all celebrating and all he’d wanted to do was grieve. Gabriel buries his face in Sam’s neck and sobs. His human strokes his hair comforting him in the small way he can and Gabriel soaks it up. No, things won’t be okay for a long time, but maybe with Sam here, Gabriel can make it until they are.