alt.polycon report

Jul 12, 2006 17:08

[originally posted to alt.polyamory, slightly edited ( Read more... )

socialising, alt.polyamory, anxiety

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aquaeri July 12 2006, 20:45:36 UTC
It was really fun to meet you, and the similarities between you and James was nice confirmation that our relationship may look straight, but isn't quite :-). James thought the coffee at the Lake Matheson cafe was so good he went back the next morning, and I also had one of their hot chocolates - not quite so stunning flavour-wise, but very impressive in presentation (there should be photos).

It's weird, given how I have problems being around people, how bad I am at really noticing and doing the right thing by myself. I think I'm getting a bit better, but it feels like the world is beating me with a clue-by-four.

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firecat July 12 2006, 22:14:52 UTC
Other people sensibly leave the room, but I just pull into myself, and didn't realise what I was doing until later.

I am the same way.

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aquaeri July 14 2006, 02:45:00 UTC
I'm glad I'm not alone. (Not that I really expected to be, but it's a matter of how rare.) I'm pretty sure in my case it has something to do with family gatherings as a child and not being allowed to leave. I think there's also some school trauma, but that's probably for a counsellor, or at least appropriately-filtered post.

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micheinnz July 14 2006, 23:27:00 UTC
I'm much the same, except that being ADHD I also sometimes pull back into my head when I don't mean to or even particularly want to.

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aquaeri July 15 2006, 01:01:22 UTC
I don't feel I have much control over the pulling back so it would often be when I don't mean to, because I'm usually better off putting just a bit more effort in (and then consciously deciding to leave if necessary, for example).

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epi_lj July 16 2006, 04:39:58 UTC
I wasn't entirely sure how to direct the New/Old Relationship Energy panel, or tie it all together. ORE is more happy for me and something I really enjoy hearing about in other people's relationships. I wasn't really prepared to frame NRE in any really useful way. So the content may have reflected my biases as well. ;)

Managing intensity and the amount of time available at APCs is always a problem. It's charged material and there are lots of people who you have connections with but have never met in person before. I find that I have to disappear a fair bit -- this one less than most others so far. Most people I've spoken to said that same thing, so I think it's common. In some ways, it was a microcosm of our NZ vacation overall in that the only way to reduce stress was to admit that the time available was insufficient to really achieve all the goals one might possibly have, and the best you could do was to be happy, maintain yourself as needed and enjoy what time you did have.

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aquaeri July 16 2006, 09:54:21 UTC
I think the ORE/NRE panel worked just fine; at least as well as the communication panel :-).

It's definitely been interesting meeting people at the con and then having them dissect what was happening inside afterwards. I think I guessed you needed some quiet time based on stuff you've posted in the past about other alt.polycons. Otherwise, I wouldn't have had a clue - you present a very together exterior.

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