lol, thanks, I need to hear this. I appreciate the brutal honesty.
Sadly, no, I don't know someone with a speech impairment. Should I make one up? I think it's very cliche also for applicants in this field to take the "my sister has a lisp so I want to help people like her" approach.
Talking about my work experience is my trying to show how my experience in some way will be beneficial to my career as an SLP. I suppose that wasn't as effective as I intended.
I could definitely add more to paragraph 5 with more examples, I was worried about carrying on too much about that. I also plan to add more to the last paragraph, I just need to find details about individual schools.
So, how would you suggest I get the point across that I do really want to be a speech pathologist, without saying it so blatently?
Basically, you need to talk about the problems you think you'd like to solve as a speech pathologist, what's specifically important about solving those problems, etc. Obviously, you shouldn't speak in clichés, so none of those "my sister has a speech impairment" things, but talking honestly about how the field combines your natural fascination (very brief if you talk about it at all) with language as well as your science (school?) and clinical (work + shadowing) background should probably do the trick.
Impact is a noun, not a verb. /pet peeve (I suggest "affect".)
I would ditch the first three paragraphs altogether and start with what you want to do with SLP. Expand on your anecdote about observation and talk about why this is compelling. " I have seen speech-pathology practiced in most settings" - is this true? If not, dial it back to "in many settings".
I agree with the other commenters that the first three paragraphs are cliche and can go (linguistics schools, at least, explicitly warn against writing about childhood fascination with language.) If you wish to start with an anecdote, you may move up the anecdote in paragraph 5 about the stroke victim. Also, you can integrate your veterinary work into paragraph 5, rather than dedicating an entire paragraph to it ('my science background and professional experience as a veterinary assistant'). Add more detail to the research interests; split par. 5 into 'past' content and 'future' content (and as hkitsune recommends, expand on it.)
Comments 9
Reply
Sadly, no, I don't know someone with a speech impairment. Should I make one up? I think it's very cliche also for applicants in this field to take the "my sister has a lisp so I want to help people like her" approach.
Talking about my work experience is my trying to show how my experience in some way will be beneficial to my career as an SLP. I suppose that wasn't as effective as I intended.
I could definitely add more to paragraph 5 with more examples, I was worried about carrying on too much about that. I also plan to add more to the last paragraph, I just need to find details about individual schools.
So, how would you suggest I get the point across that I do really want to be a speech pathologist, without saying it so blatently?
Reply
Reply
Reply
I would ditch the first three paragraphs altogether and start with what you want to do with SLP. Expand on your anecdote about observation and talk about why this is compelling. " I have seen speech-pathology practiced in most settings" - is this true? If not, dial it back to "in many settings".
Reply
Reply
Reply
Good luck! Looking forward to the next draft.
Reply
But instead of using {}, use <>. I just wasn't sure if it would put an LJ cut in comments or not, and I wanted you to see an example.
If you need more, you can check out the LJ Help page on cuts.
Reply
Leave a comment