So sweet and heartbreakingly sad. I like your callbacks to canon and how you filled in your own bits and pieces, too. The frakking scenes, the instructor/ student scenes, the hopeful talks between them, her connection to Lee--you did a really good job with all of them. I really enjoyed this, A!
I was so torn writing this because I am seriously such a K/L person, but this whole piece had a different feel to it. I can see a whole world of different scenarios about Kara/Zak's history, ranging from them just really being frak buddies, calling things off before his death, Kara fooling around with Lee on the side and realizing she belongs with him instead of Zak... but I wanted this to just be about them and to get to explore how Kara might've been before his death. Her upbringing still certainly frakked her up, but knowing her own decisions killed the man she loved, seems far worse of a thing for her to learn to deal with.
The end still kills me every time I read it, I'm a total wuss.
Oh God! You broke my heart with this. Poor Zak Adama. Boy never stood a chance.This interpretation of their relationship is so beautiful though. Honestly, so touching innocent and convincing. I do think that Kara truly loved Zak and even though I'm Kara/Lee all the way, I believe that her time with Zak was essential in making her who she ended up becoming and creating the right environment for her and Lee to fall in love later so I have no problems reading their love stories. Especially gorgeous ones like this.
I do think that Kara truly loved Zak and even though I'm Kara/Lee all the way, I believe that her time with Zak was essential in making her who she ended up becoming and creating the right environment for her and Lee to fall in love later
I agree so much!
Lee's personality is so different from his brother's, that part of me feels like even if she had met Lee first and started some frak-buddy relationship, it may not have worked out into anything serious. She needed Zak's innocence and optimism and to some degrees, worship, to get herself to realize that for once in her life she deserved something.
This is great! I find Zak intriguing, and I really quite like the character you've brought to life here. Kara is perfect here, too, carrying some stuff around, certainly, but Zak really made her happy.
I love the way you set up the infamous table boning as being right when the relationship with Zak solidifies, as one of her stunts she pulls to self-sabotage when things are critical, just like you have her meet Zak right when she starts teaching, which I think fits in perfectly with UB.
But that sting of failure, of disappointment in his father’s and brother’s eyes, Zak knows it’s worth a life lived by someone else’s rules than to have to actually feel those gazes upon him.
OH BOYS.
For awhile, they’re a trio, a group of friends that go to the bar and play pyramid in one of the parks on the other side of Delphi. There’s a movie, even a weekend trip to their grandfather’s house out by the lake, and somewhere along the way it all stops being so difficult.yes! I loved the feel in S1 that they were - whatever else was going in in
( ... )
Those little lines like that really killed me (referring to Zak saying he knows he'll be with her the rest of his life) when writing it since we all know how the story ends even before it begins. He will be with her...unfortunately he doesn't have much time left. Then there's his mention of he'll be with her always because she's got the ring explaining just how important it was to her for her to carry it with her the rest of her life. And Kara being afraid he won't come home like her father did, but Zak's different, she trusts him to return. Then of course, he doesn't.
It SO just made me want to say frak you to canon and save them the heartache of losing each other :(
This is absolutely beautiful. That moment where Zak curls up on the floor around her--that's now officially canonical (head/heart-canon, obviously). Feels true, and also breaks your heart completely.
And that third-to-last paragraph--God. I've reread it about six times now, and I probably will again as soon as I'm done typing this. I love writing that accurately describes the way that your past clutters piecemeal around you and makes you and traps you and comforts you. Agh, so so perfect.
I like to read a fic where Kara's reaction to Zak's death is multi-dimensional, is more than mere guilt. So: all-around, although I definitely don't see Kara and Zak's relationship quite this way myself (defensive shipping?), this was beautiful and interesting to read and I'm so glad I did.
I loved that part about Zak curling up with her too. To me, it's sort of like he doesn't need to know why she's there or how it happened (regarding both the night before and the rest of her life), he'll just accept whatever it is, take her as he can, be happy to just exist in the same space as her. Sam is kind of the same way, while someone like Lee would be dragging her up into bed and waking her to find out what happened and giving her that push (whether she wants/needs it or not
( ... )
Yeah, I mean, that seems right--about Zak's acceptance of Kara. Zak wasn't ever gonna punch her in the face when she frakked Gaius Baltar. He's was gonna look at her with wounded eyes, and sigh, and open his arms.
Thinking about this is interesting, because you realize something about Lee. Zak's in awe of her, a little, I think, without being at all *afraid* of her. But Lee is absolutely terrified by her, and on that point, this story lines up with canon as we know it as well as my head!canon--Zak's not afraid, and Sam's also not. Lee's applecart, so to speak, may just be more precarious and hence Kara's more of a threat to it? Hmmmm...
I'm well-underway to becoming a huge fan of your fic as well! So we're in good company.
It was obvious how happy Zak made Kara, and if he had lived, I'm sure he would've healed so much of the damage her mother caused. Of course, then we wouldn't have the guilt-driven Starbuck we know...
I envy your writing style, very fluid and descriptive. Look forward to many more fics to come!
So glad you liked it! There isn't much interest in Kara/Zak fics, but I've got a (pretty big) spot in my heart for them. It was nice to imagine Kara less frakked up, or at least willing to try to move past it and thinking she really could start fresh with someone like Zak Adama.
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So sweet and heartbreakingly sad. I like your callbacks to canon and how you filled in your own bits and pieces, too. The frakking scenes, the instructor/ student scenes, the hopeful talks between them, her connection to Lee--you did a really good job with all of them. I really enjoyed this, A!
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I was so torn writing this because I am seriously such a K/L person, but this whole piece had a different feel to it. I can see a whole world of different scenarios about Kara/Zak's history, ranging from them just really being frak buddies, calling things off before his death, Kara fooling around with Lee on the side and realizing she belongs with him instead of Zak... but I wanted this to just be about them and to get to explore how Kara might've been before his death. Her upbringing still certainly frakked her up, but knowing her own decisions killed the man she loved, seems far worse of a thing for her to learn to deal with.
The end still kills me every time I read it, I'm a total wuss.
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*cries forever*
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I agree so much!
Lee's personality is so different from his brother's, that part of me feels like even if she had met Lee first and started some frak-buddy relationship, it may not have worked out into anything serious. She needed Zak's innocence and optimism and to some degrees, worship, to get herself to realize that for once in her life she deserved something.
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I love the way you set up the infamous table boning as being right when the relationship with Zak solidifies, as one of her stunts she pulls to self-sabotage when things are critical, just like you have her meet Zak right when she starts teaching, which I think fits in perfectly with UB.
But that sting of failure, of disappointment in his father’s and brother’s eyes, Zak knows it’s worth a life lived by someone else’s rules than to have to actually feel those gazes upon him.
OH BOYS.
For awhile, they’re a trio, a group of friends that go to the bar and play pyramid in one of the parks on the other side of Delphi. There’s a movie, even a weekend trip to their grandfather’s house out by the lake, and somewhere along the way it all stops being so difficult.yes! I loved the feel in S1 that they were - whatever else was going in in ( ... )
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It SO just made me want to say frak you to canon and save them the heartache of losing each other :(
Thank you for reading!
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And that third-to-last paragraph--God. I've reread it about six times now, and I probably will again as soon as I'm done typing this. I love writing that accurately describes the way that your past clutters piecemeal around you and makes you and traps you and comforts you. Agh, so so perfect.
I like to read a fic where Kara's reaction to Zak's death is multi-dimensional, is more than mere guilt. So: all-around, although I definitely don't see Kara and Zak's relationship quite this way myself (defensive shipping?), this was beautiful and interesting to read and I'm so glad I did.
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Thinking about this is interesting, because you realize something about Lee. Zak's in awe of her, a little, I think, without being at all *afraid* of her. But Lee is absolutely terrified by her, and on that point, this story lines up with canon as we know it as well as my head!canon--Zak's not afraid, and Sam's also not. Lee's applecart, so to speak, may just be more precarious and hence Kara's more of a threat to it? Hmmmm...
I'm well-underway to becoming a huge fan of your fic as well! So we're in good company.
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It was obvious how happy Zak made Kara, and if he had lived, I'm sure he would've healed so much of the damage her mother caused. Of course, then we wouldn't have the guilt-driven Starbuck we know...
I envy your writing style, very fluid and descriptive. Look forward to many more fics to come!
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