Tell Me Goodbye [oneshot]
Title: Tell Me Goodbye
Author: ixjaydee
Rating: PG
Pairing: Minkey (Minho/Key)
Genre: Angst, Drama
Disclaimer: I wait to wish on real shooting stars, just like every one else. Until the next one comes by, I don’t own SHINee.
Summary: Even if I knew that meeting him would be the cause of my untimely death, I wouldn't change it for the world. Why? Simply because I loved him.
AN;; A request for shilvanisa . I’m so sorry this took forever. Oh lordy. I just had the worst mental block ever with this. Told from Key’s POV until the end. And uh... it’s kinda long. o-o Sorry if it’s not as heart wrenching as I could possibly make it. I tried. OTL. I don’t know what she did, but wishiwuzkagome is a genius without even knowing sometimes. :]
--
Tell Me Goodbye
--
Even if I knew that meeting him would be the cause of my untimely death, I wouldn't change it for the world. Why? Simply because I loved him.
-
My father decided to relocate one summer. The politician life was starting to wear him down, and he wanted to go somewhere where he could relax and spend time with his family. Our move was in secret. I was only allowed to tell a few of my friends where I was going, and the rest would be left to wonder where I disappeared to. The reason being that my father made some enemies while in office, and he didn't want to be disturbed.
The new estate we moved to was spacious. Spacious to the point where it almost seemed cold and empty, but it was home. My father had a flare for grandeur, and this completely took the cake. My older, and younger brother, and I wandered around the mansion looking for rooms to stay in. There were so many, some were rooms displaying art, instruments, weapons, fine china. After we found rooms to claim as our own, my mother promised we could do what we wanted with them to make them feel homely.
It took a few days to unpack my things and arrange them in a way where it made my room feel less empty. I didn't like cluttering up my room, but I just needed more stuff to fill it out. At this point, my twentieth birthday was around the corner. I remember begging my parents to let me stay in our old city long enough to celebrate my birthday, but they were staunch in their decision to move.
My older brother never moved out of the family. They kept pressuring him to get married and start a family of his own. He kept telling them he was too young. Twenty-six and still living with his parents. He took good care of me and our youngest brother though. He spoiled us, almost more than my dad did. He was following my father's footsteps, the route of the politician. I could never understand what they loved so much about it, but their passionate debates after dinner almost made me want to learn.
My father's secretary hired staff to help out with the grounds and in the kitchen. The entire staff had been put through extensive background checks to make sure they were indeed who they said they were. There had been a few attempts on my father's life, and they were taking as many precautions as possible to prevent it from happening again.
My mom loved to cook by herself, but she was getting older, and her endurance wasn't as good as it used to be. The grounds were enormous and impossible to take of with just one or two people. They came once or twice a week and mowed the lawns, trimmed the bushes and watered plants. Mostly, on other days of the week, my little brother and I would go water the plants. He loved flowers, especially the lilies.
There was a guy though, a guy that part of the lawn crew that my dad seemed to particularly liked. He was hard-working, and hardly ever spoke unless he was spoken to. He seemed to take his job seriously. He was younger than the rest of the crew, and on one particularly hot summer day, I looked out of my bedroom window to see him mowing with his shirt off. Needless to say, he was very attractive.
I ran down to the kitchen to get a pitcher of lemonade from my mother and several glasses. She liked to make some for them on the hotter days. I brought it outside and began pouring glasses underneath the umbrella over our lawn furniture. The crew took a break shortly after to get a drink and rest in the shade, but he didn't.
I poured another glass and ran over to him, shielding my face from the sun with my other hand. He glanced over and saw me running and turned off his mower. I slowed down as I got closer to him and smiled, handing him the drink. “You're going to pass out if you don't take a break.” He gave me the strangest look, like he was trying to swallow me with his eyes, then suddenly smiled. “You're going to burn if you stay out here.”
That was my first meeting with him. Choi Minho.
-
“Key, It's your birthday. You should look less depressed than that.” My brother, Jinki, barged his way into my room and walked over to my spot at my window overlooking the grounds. My mom was setting out the decorations in the yard. My father's friends were invited, big politicians. My brother's work friends were invited, and probably only two of my friends were.
“Easy for you to say. This is just an excuse for Dad to show you off to his friends. I swear to you he's going to be like 'Today is my second son's birthday. Oh by the way have you met my oldest son, Jinki?' Then drag you over to talk to them.” Jinki gave me that no-he's-not-look but it was true. It always happens. He didn't have anything to really brag about for me. I played piano. I had a knack for growing plants. But that wasn't going to impress any of his friends.
Jinki shook his head and punched me in the shoulder. “Stop being mopey. Moping is for teenagers. You're leaving your teens and entering the twenties. Suck it up and smile like the rest of us.” I laughed at his comment and heard my door creek open. “Key? Your friend is here. He's-”
“KEYY!” My best friend, Jonghyun, crashed through the door and almost ran over my brother. “Hey! Watch out for Taemin! He hasn't even reached his teens yet!” He tackled me to the ground, and I laughed, genuine laughter for the first time since I'd been there. My two brothers retreated from my room and let me catch up with my friend.
He told me of what happened after I left, how everyone was confused and kept going to him for answers. He didn't say anything, just like he promised me, just assuring the others that I was okay. A cool breeze floated into my room carrying voices.
“Just put that over here.” I walked over to the open window and peered outside. Minho was out there, carrying a large water dispenser over his shoulder. He had on a simple white t-shirt and some worn in jeans. “Oo la, la. Who is THAT hunk?” Jonghyun peered over my shoulder and grinned at me.
“His name is Minho. He works on the lawn crew.” He leaned out the window and squinted to get a better look at him. “He is absolutely dreamy. Oh man. He looks so serious. His hair looks amazing tied back like that.” I rolled my eyes at Jonghyun’s fan girling. “Hurry up and get ready Key! People are starting to arrive!” My mother called from the lawn. I saw Minho's eyes travel up to the window, and he grinned. I felt my heart skip a beat before replying, “Yeah, yeah, I'm coming.” Jonghyun and I pulled our heads back into the room before I closed it.
Jonghyun strode over to my closet, throwing it open and rolling his eyes at the sheer amount of clothes. “Really Key? It's going to take me forever to find you an outfit."
-
By the time we were finished, the party was in full swing. “Hurry up!” Jonghyun pulled me down the hallway, dress shirt, pants, boots, and all to the front entrance to the lawn. he pulled the doors open, and I was briefly blinded by a ray of sunlight. “There you are! Come here.” My mother grabbed my arm and over to a group of her friends.
“Here's the birthday boy!” Then I got to hear them all clamor about how much I've grown, how handsome I looked, and so on and so forth. Then my dad found me and dragged me around to his groups of friends, and then my brother did the exact same thing with his. After what seemed like ages, I finally got released and made my way over to the punch table. There was a strong alcoholic smell hovering over the punch so I opted for the bottle of water in the ice.
“You look nice.” I froze for a second then turned around to see Minho with a slight grin on his face. The lawn crew and kitchen staff were invited to stay of course, since they were practically like family in the first place. I smiled at him and ran my fingers through my hair. “Thanks.” It suddenly got really hot, and I started to fan myself with my free hand.
He leaned on the table next to me and took a sip of his punch. “How old are you now?”
“Physically, twenty. But mentally, somewhere around fifteen.” I opened my bottle of water and took a sip.
“Do you know any of those people?” He looked around the crowd. I heard a boisterous laugh coming from the one my dad was in. Probably made some hilarious inside joke that didn't make sense, and they just laughed for the sake of laughing.
“Yeah. That guy over there trying to hit on people.” I took another sip of water as Minho strained to see him. He laughed a little bit and looked back over at me. “Does he think I'm attractive?” I took yet another sip and nodded. He laughed again and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Yes.” I chuckled a little bit and waved him over with my hand. Jonghyun grinned at me before excusing himself and walking towards me. “Do you think I'm attractive?” I looked over at him and saw him looking curiously back at me. I smiled a mysterious smile and put a finger in front of my lips. “I'll never tell.” Then before he could say anything else, Jonghyun sat down between us and started to bombard him with questions. He looked a little bit uncomfortable with all the questions, but I just laughed and walked away as my mother called me to go cut the cake.
-
The sun set. I spent the last half an hour bidding guests goodbye at the lawn crew started to clean up after enjoying themselves. They thanked my mother and father for inviting them, and they in turn thanked them for staying and helping clean up the mess. I took my boots off and started walking barefoot in the plush grass. My hair was no longer perfect, it stuck out in weird directions but I didn’t care. I swung my arm back and forth that held the boots and made my way back towards the porch.
Suddenly, I felt something grab my arm and pull me. I lost my balance and almost yelled, but a hand came and quickly covered my mouth. I got pulled over to the fountain in the garden, then let go. I caught my breath and looked to see the moonlight bouncing off of Minho's face. “Could you not do that? I almost had a heart attack!” I gave him an exasperated look and dropped my shoes on the fountain's edge.
“Have I mentioned that you look absolutely stunning tonight?” His voice was soft and deep, washing over me and carrying me away. “You said something like that.” We sat in silence for a bit, admiring the way the moonlight fell over the garden. “This is for you. Happy birthday.” He handed me a small wrapped box. “Open it.”
I carefully unwrapped the paper and opened the box. Inside, there was a necklace with a key pendant. It was sterling silver, and styled like an old fashioned key with the handle in loops and intricate designs. I watched it sparkle in the moonlight for a moment until Minho took it from my hand and put it on for me.
“Don't lose it.” He smiled at me. “Key!” My brother called me. I stood up and thanked him before walking towards the house. In the doorway, I turned around to see him staring at me from the fountain, this time with the eyes that tried to swallow me whole. I turned and walked inside.
Taemin was hovering over me as I woke up the next morning. “What d'you want?” I yawned and rubbed my eyes before sitting up in bed. Taemin hopped over beside me and giggled. “That necklace. Minho gave it to you right?” I stared at him and blinked sleepily a few times. “It's okay. I won't tell. I helped him pick it out.”
--
The summer I met Minho was a pivotal point in my life. After my birthday party, we didn't speak much. Just exchanging greeting and good byes, and occasionally stopping to have a short conversation about the weather. I would randomly catch him staring in my direction, but he would look away as soon as I noticed. One day, my mother pointed out something around his neck. “Look honey. Minho is wearing a lock and chain around his neck. And it doesn't look cheap either. That's a lucky person who holds that key.” My hand absentmindedly went to the key pendant, and I smiled.
As the summer wore on, I went to town to look for a job to keep me occupied. And of course, for a bit of extra spending money. I was going to school to get a teaching degree, for the elementary school kids, before they got obnoxious and stopped listening to elders. I eventually got a job at a small day care in town. They were short handed, claiming there was some sort of baby boom a few years ago so they would welcome all the help they could get as soon as school started again.
I wandered around town sometimes when I didn't have anything else to do. Everyone knew everybody. It was a nice enough town, something straight out of a movie. I half expected my vision to suddenly go sepia, and hear the noise of an old time film player cranking along as I walked. I tried not to stay out too long though, my skin was sensitive, and I burned easily. Most days, I just spent inside, or in the greenhouse. I spent so much time inside the greenhouse that I even set up a hammock for me to take naps and relax in there.
One day, I walked out into the foyer and noticed a new piano. I hadn't played since we left my old one at my house. I ran my hands over the cover and felt it slide underneath my fingers. Something pulled at my heartstrings when I thought of my old piano, sitting at my old house, collecting dust. I sat down and slowly started to play the first thing that came to my mind.
The music pulled me into another world. Suddenly, I wasn't sitting at a piano that I didn't love, but I was back at my old house, playing the one I loved, and it loved me back. My little brother would be sitting on the rug behind my chair, swaying back and forth to the music that filled the house. It had a sad undertone this time. So sad, that I almost cried.
I was so absorbed in the playing though, I didn't notice Minho come inside. He was wiping his hands off with a dirty rag, but his eyes were fixed on me. My mother must have heard me playing, because she came out and tried to get his attention. But had to try a few times before she could be heard. “Key! Could you hold on a second?” My fingers hesitated on the keys before I lowered my hands and turned towards her.
Minho was still staring for a moment before he snapped out of his trance. “Oh. I wanted to let you know that the peach saplings came in.” My mother clapped her hands in happiness and started to pull him outside. “I'll show you where I want them planted.” He took one backwards glance at me before disappearing out the door with my mother. My train of thought was interrupted now, and I didn't want to play anymore. Granted it was a good piano but... It just didn't feel the same.
I made my way towards the greenhouse, and walked around, watering the flowers and vegetables I had growing. Taemin's batches of lilies were thriving. He was definitely going to be happy about that. After I finished, I sat down on the hammock and swung back and forth. It was silly to be homesick now, but I just couldn't help it at times. Eventually, I laid down and decided to take a nap.
But when I woke up, instead of Taemin's face looming over me, it was Minho. “I didn't know you played piano.” I sat up and he sat down next to me in the empty space. I leaned back on his arm and stared off into space. “There's a lot of things you don't know about me.” I twiddled my thumbs and rolled over so my legs were hanging over the side of the hammock. Minho swung the hammock back and forth a little bit. He smelled like sweat, dirt, and man.
“You should let me listen to you play some more,” he said after a moment of silence. I smiled and nodded. “Sure. Why not? Why did you come in here in the first place?” He looked at me and his eyes twinkled.
“I came in here to water the lilies. I told your brother I would help him with them since he kept forgetting to water them. But it looks like you've got that taken care of.” I nodded again. I hopped off the hammock and dusted off my shorts. “Coming?”
On our way back to the house though, I saw my brother standing on the porch giving Minho behind me the evil eye. “What were you two doing in the greenhouse together?” He asked me as soon as I made it to the porch. “Watering Taemin's lilies.”
“Making sweet, sweet love,” was Minho's reply. He grinned at Jinki and blocked the punch coming at him. “Don't push it kid! I'll destroy you if you even look at him the wrong way.” He mock punched him in the face, complete with sound effects. “Kid?” He looked indignant. “I'm only three years younger than you old man.” They both laughed.
“Did you see the new piano Dad bought you?” As if I didn't noticed.
“Yes dear brother. I did. I was playing it earlier. Didn't feel right.” Jinki could see my face turn sour a little bit and shook his head. “You gotta break it in. All it needs is some love and care.” He leaned on the top and gently stroked it.
“Stop molesting my piano. Go get a girlfriend.” Minho let out a huge laugh at my comment that surprised me. “At least I'm not desperate enough to go after the lawn crew!” Then he stopped laughing and got serious. “What did you just say?” He walked towards my brother and before I knew it, he was in a headlock.
“Dude, seriously?! Get off! You smell!” My brother struggled to get out of the headlock. I laughed as my dad walked into the scene. Minho saw him and reluctantly let go of Jinki. “Sir.” He gave him a short bow. “Oh no, don't stop just because I'm here. He could use a roughing up every now and then.”
-
Then before I knew it, the summer was over. School was starting, and so was my new job at the day care. Every single available spot was filled. And when I walked into the day care after my first day of classes, there were children everywhere, running around and screaming. The other adults were trying to make sense of things.
“Everybody freeze!” Suddenly, it was quiet, and all the children stopped moving. I put my arms on my hips and looked as menacing as possible. “You have until I count down from five to sit down on the rug and be quiet, or else I'll tell Santa that you've been bad! Five! Four!” The kids looked terrified and scrambled to sit down on the rug.
“You don't know Santa!” There was always that one kid that liked to back talk. He sauntered over to the carpet but didn't sit down. “Oh I don't now huh? How else do you think he knows if you've been good or bad? All the adults report to Santa. So he'll find out one way or another.” He gave me a sour look and sat down on the rug.
I saw the looks of appreciation from the other staff as I sat down and let them introduce themselves and me. “Girls and boys, this is Key, and starting today, he'll be helping...”
-
The day care wasn't too far away from my house, so I walked home from the day care. The kids bid me goodbye on their way out, and I set out on my long journey back home. New shoes probably weren’t the best things to wear, especially when I had to chase after stray kids after recess. When I finally made it to the front gates, my feet were sore, and I'm pretty sure there were blisters forming.
The gates opened, and I walked inside and promptly took off my shoes. Minho was working near the entrance trimming hedges and noticed me wincing slightly as I walked. “Oy! What did you do all day? Go fight bears?” He started to climb down from ladder. I stopped and gave him an exasperated look. “Worse. I took care of four year olds.” He smiled at me and shook his head. “Ah. Of course.” He glanced down at my feet. “Blisters?”
I rocked back and forth on my feet and shrugged. “Maybe, probably, yes.” I smiled despite the pain my feet were in and started walked towards the house again. I only took a few steps before Minho grabbed me at the waist and threw me over his shoulder. Shocked, I struggled for a couple seconds. “This is a bit demeaning. You can't just let me walk and retain whatever dignity I have left after my shoes beat me up?” He didn't answer me and just kept walking towards the house.
My mom was sitting in the foyer when he brought me in. “Honey, are you okay?” She looked alarmed as Minho put me down. “Yes I'm fine, my shoes just took a toll on my feet. I'll head up to my room, soak them, and bandage them up.” She stroked my hair and gave me that worrying motherly look. “I'll be fine. Promise.” I thanked Minho for carrying me and made my way up the stairs. As soon as I was out of sight, my mother turned to him. “Check up on him later will you?” She patted him on the arm and smiled before disappearing to the kitchen. Minho glanced up the stairs for a moment before heading back outside to finish his chores.
-
Since my mobility was limited for the rest of the day, I sat myself down at the piano bench and played a few notes. My fingers glided over the keys for a moment before willing them to play. This time, the tune that came was less sad, but it was still sad. Almost a longing for something. I played for myself, until I could feel someone coming up behind me. He sat down at the bench beside me and watched my fingers on the keys without a word.
I glanced at him and smiled. He didn't say a word, or even look up from the keys as I played. Then it was like something clicked. Everything fell into place, and the moment seemed to go on forever. My mother came in to check on me, but as soon as she walked into the foyer and saw us sitting there, suddenly, she felt like she was intruding on something she wasn't meant to see. She smiled and retreated slowly.
I started to slow down, and eventually the song came to an end. The last few notes lingered in the air for a moment before disappearing. I turned to face Minho with one leg propped up on the bench. “I'm not too terrible, right?” I grinned at him and rested my head on my knee. He seemed to be lost in thought for a moment before turning to me. “I wouldn't say you were terrible either.” He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “I wouldn't say you were terrible at all.”
-
Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. Soon enough, it was the winter. Luckily for me the winter where we moved to was a cool winter, and not an absolutely freezing one. I wasn't a fan of the cold really. But now that it was winter, the lawn crew wasn't needed for the next few months. I tried not to hide my disappointment was the winter came, but there was really nothing I could do about it.
I ended up daydreaming about him, but I tried not to dwell. Sometimes we ran into each other in town, but those moments were far and few. But somehow, it was okay. We weren't officially dating or anything. Quite frankly, I was glad I didn't have to be a boyfriend. I wasn't jealous, I didn't need to know where he was all the time. But now that I thought about it, I still didn't know very much about him.
I found myself sitting alone on a bench in front of a frozen pond in town. The children were skating on it, and couples were skating together. I saw him out of the corner of my eye come and sit down next to me. “Minho. What brings you to the lonely side of the pond today?” He chuckled and rubbed his hands together.
“I just saw an angel from far away and decided to keep him company for a bit.” He scooted closer to me, close enough for me to lean my head on his shoulder. He lifted his arm up and draped it across my shoulders. “Is this weird? For us to be so close, but so far away?” I thought about his words for a moment.
“No. I like you.” He let out a breath and leaned his head back. “You wouldn't if you knew me.”
“I don't think that would make a difference.”
“Wouldn't it? Wouldn't it?”
-
Minho took me out for some late afternoon coffee. We talked about random things most of the afternoon, then as it was getting dark, he walked me home. At the gates, he stopped and held me by the shoulders. “I suppose I'll come around more often. I get lonely without my weekly dose of you.” He kissed me on the forehead, then on the nose, then on the lips, lightly, almost like a ghost.
“Good bye.”
--
Minho stood in front of a disgruntled looking man sitting behind a desk. The man looked like an older, larger version of him, so it could only be assumed that he was his father. He was smoking a cigar and took a long drag before blowing the smoke back out. Minho stood straight and still. His face was expressionless as he watched his father smoke. “So I hear you've been getting close to one of the sons.”
Minho's face didn't change, and he didn't reply. His father's eyes settled on the lock and chain around his neck. “That's new. Wearing jewelry now.” He took another drag and blew out the smoke, this time, it was accompanied by a hacking cough. “You know in our line of work... Love is just something used against us.” He put out the cigar in the ash tray on the desk. “Don't let it interfere with your work.” His father waved his hand and dismissed him.
Minho turned around and left without saying a word. His father looked out sadly at his son's retreating back. Among the papers on his desk was a small photo. A photo of a woman and a man, swinging a small child between them. He picked up the photo and sighed. His wife was killed when Minho was five years old, in retaliation to something he did. They took the woman he loved as punishment, and left him with Minho as a reminder.
Loving her was the only thing he almost regretted. And he didn't want his son to suffer the same way.
-
It was the middle of the night. I was sleeping soundly until I heard knocking. Slightly startled, I sat up in bed and saw the silhouette of someone against my balcony door. After I woke up a little bit more, the figure moved in a way where the moonlight shone on his face. “Minho?” I dragged myself sleepily out of bed and unlocked the door. He stepped inside, letting in a short burst of cold air before closing the door silently. He cheeks were slightly red, and it made me wonder just how long he was out there before I let him in.
“How did you get past the gate?” He didn't answer me for a moment then shook his head. I didn't question him any further and reached a hand out to brush his face. He was freezing. He leaned into my touch and reached up to hold my hand. I grabbed it and led him towards my bed. He kicked his shoes off on the way there and dived under the covers. “It's freezing out there, you know. Would it kill you to wake up when I'm knocking?” He balled himself up under my covers and took in a deep breath.
I sat next to him on top of the covers and let out a small laugh. “I like to sleep at night. Like most normal people.” He glanced up at me from the covers and grinned. But it was almost like a sad grin. “I'm not here to take advantage of you. I just... got a little lonely.” I stuck my legs under the covers. Then he inched his way over and laid his head in my lap. I smiled a little bit then started stroking his hair. We whispered about more random things before eventually, both of us fell asleep.
When I woke up in the morning, he was gone. Instead, there was a small ring on my left pointer finger. I held it up to the light to admire it. There was a small ruby heart in the middle, and two smaller accent diamonds on the side. I looked back towards the balcony and smiled.
-
Christmas rolled around. My mom was busy in the kitchen preparing a Christmas feast, and everyone in town was busy getting last minute gifts or giving last minute cheer. I, luckily, had finished my Christmas shopping early this year so I could attempt to help my mom make Christmas dinner. The kitchen staff followed the orders she called out, and for a while, that was the only talk that was going on. There was some idle chatter between the staff, but nothing more really.
“Oh, I invited Minho to Christmas dinner,” my mother said as she stirred the current dish she was working on. “I ran into him while grocery shopping. Asked him if he was doing anything for Christmas. He said he wasn't, that his dad didn't really believe in Christmas, so I invited him to dinner. I invited his father too, but Minho said he wouldn't be interested. Oops!” There was a burst of flame from her stove. She laughed and turned down the fire.
“So maybe you'll dress up instead of looking so frumpy all the time now.” Her eyes twinkled as I raised an eyebrow at her. “Your father approves of him you know. Minho.” I silently poured the soup I was working on into a large bowl. “He reminds your father of himself. Hard working, serious. And don't think he won't approve just because Minho is poor. If that were the case, he wouldn't have married me in the first place.” She laughed again as we finally finished up the last of the preparations.
“There. Now go upstairs and get ready. You look like you've been slaving in the kitchen all day.”
“I wonder why.” My mother gave me a smack on the head as I walked out of the kitchen laughing. I hurried up stairs, and took a long shower. When I finished, I stopped to draw a dinosaur on the fogged up mirror before getting dressed. I looked through my closet for a few minutes before deciding on a white dress shirt, black slacks, a black vest, and a green and red tie. It was Christmas, why not?
I started to fix my hair in the vanity, trying to find the point where bedhead looked good. I gave up eventually and started to comb my hair straight. It took longer than I remembered since I hadn't done it in so long. It took long enough for Taemin to stick his head in my room and complain. “Family is starting to get here already. Mom says to come downstairs and greet people coming in.” I rolled my eyes and got up from my chair. “Your collar is crooked, Taemin. Goodness.” I fixed it for him and started to brush my fingers through his messy hair.
He thanked me and grabbed my hand, dragging me down the hallways, down the stairs, and to the front entrance. “Key's here. He can take over for you now.” My brother was at the entrance taking coats and greeting the family. “About time. I'm freezing out here!” I rolled my eyes and took my aunt's jacket. “You look so much older now, and much more handsome now that you've gotten a bit older.” She bumped my hips and walked inside laughing. “At least they're not trying to set you up with women they know.” Jinki turned and ran inside before anyone else tried to play match-maker.
One of my cousins brought along a friend, and said friend would not leave me alone. She went on and on about her possessions and how much money she had, and how she had connections. I don't know who she was trying to impress, but I definitely wasn't. As she chattered away, Minho came through the door with a small smile on his face. “Hello.” He leaned in for a kiss before taking off his jacket and hanging it up. My cousin's friend stuttered mid sentence before making an excuse to leave.
“Was she bothering you?” Minho looked curiously in her direction. “No. She was keeping me company until you got here.” He extended an arm out which I took, and we walked arm and arm into the dining room. Everyone was chattering, and I could see the two seats my mother left empty for us. As we passed my mother and her sisters, I heard them clamoring about how handsome Minho was. But one of them gave him the eye. “Isn't he a little bit too old for him?” My mother made a scoffing noise. “They're only a few years apart. Isn't your husband a little bit too old for you?”
Dinner went by quickly. My family was curious about Minho. They asked him questions, he gave them answers. Whether or not they were good, everyone seem satisfied with his answer, no matter how vague they were. It reminded me there were a lot of things I didn't know about him, but I suppose I'd learn in due time.
Afterward, my relatives got a tour of the house. The children went with Taemin to play in his room. And the relatives around my age hung around to talk about their lives. Minho and I escaped to my room and sat next to my window to watch the stars. He wrapped his arms around me while I laid my head on his chest. Unbeknownst to me, my mother and father were peeking into my room. “If he tries anything funny, I won't like him so much anymore.”
-
Minho left my house around midnight. He went home to his apartment in town, and noticed a light in his kitchen as he walked into the door. His father was sitting there at the table, smoking another cigar. “Where have you been all day?” He hung up his jacket and popped his neck. “Why ask a question you already know the answer to.”
-
I didn't see him again until spring was in full bloom. The lawn crew had a busy time, coming in twice, or even three times a week. And since they were so busy, I hardly had any time to see Minho at all. And when I did, he was busy, or he'd already left by the time I got home. I thought it was a little bit odd, and that maybe he was avoiding me because I did something wrong. I pushed the thoughts out of my mind though, because I was so busy, maybe it was my fault after all.
I came home late that day. It was dark whenever I reached the front porch, but the lights on the foyer were on, which was strange because my parents always left the porch light on at night. I reached for the doorknob to open the door, but it was already open. I felt an ominous presence inside, but instead of running away, I pushed the door open and called for my parents. As I walked through the hallway, I didn't hear a reply. So I called for my brothers.
When I reached the foyer, I dropped my bag. My hands immediately went up to cover my mouth as I let out a silent scream. There was a man in black holding two guns in his hands, with his back facing me, standing over my family on the floor. The carpet was stained red with their blood. I stepped back in horror and tried to run, but he turned around and saw me. The eyes that tried to swallow me succeeded, and my mind swirled into darkness.
--
I could tell he was there when I woke up. I was dizzy, disoriented. My sight blurred and slowly focused on a dim light in the room. He was sitting in the chair next to the bed I was in, the lamp light casting a shadow that covered half his face. I sat up too quickly, only to fall back again after the blood rushed from my head. “Be careful. You bumped your head.” His head rested on laced fingers where he sat. The look in his eyes wasn't something I was used to seeing. They were cold, calculating, but still showed concern for me.
“What... What's going on? What were you doing in my house? Why...” My mind flashed back to the scene in my house, and my hands flew to my mouth again. I stared at him wide-eyed and shocked. He reached out to brush some of my hair away from my face, but I recoiled away from him. His hand stopped in mid-air, and he looked away before dropping his hand. He sat back in his chair and sighed.
“Do you remember when you said you didn't need to know me to like me?” My mind flashed briefly to that moment in the park that seemed so far away now. “Are you sure you don't regret that now?” I kept moving back away from him in shock. I reached the end of the bed and my arm slipped off the end, cutting itself on the corner of the nightstand. I pulled my hand up to myself in pain, and immediately on sight of the blood, my family's image filled my mind, and tears filled my eyes.
Minho stood up in alarm, and stood up to go get bandages. I threw off the covers and followed him barefoot into the kitchen. “Why? Why did you do it?” I said in tears. My anger was starting to well up. He searched through the cabinet for bandages and ignored my question.
“Don't ignore me, Choi Minho. Tell me why!” I threw my arms down and sobbed. I could feel the blood dripping down my arm from the cut. He glanced back at me before pulling two rolls of bandages from the cabinet. “It was my job.” He walked towards me, and I backed up into the back of couch in the living room. He stopped and let out a frustrated breath.
“Your job? Your job?! Your job was to take care of the grounds on the estate. That was it! Killing my family wasn't in the job description!” He reached out and grabbed my bleeding arm. I tried to twist away from him, but his grip on me was too strong. “I need to bandage it before you pass out from blood loss. Or before it gets infected.” I unwillingly held my arm still for him as he bandaged it up carefully with his hands, the same hands that killed...
How many people had he killed in his lifetime? What was he? An assassin? A mobster? A hit man? My arm was shaking as he was bandaging it up. He hesitated when he was almost finished. He tried to steady my shaking hand, but my fingers were limp in his.
“How could you do it... My parents trusted you. My family trusted you! I trusted you!” I threw his hands off of me and walked around him, putting distance between us. “What kind of sick bastard are you? Did you get close to me just so you could get closer to the family?” I could see him clench his fists. He was starting to get angry.
“Did you like me at all? Was I anything more to you than a target? Why am I the only one alive? Am I supposed to be dead too? Why am I the only one alive?” Minho kept eye contact with me.
“You know how I feel about you.”
“What about Jinki? Taemin? They didn't do anything to you! How could you be so heartless?! Taemin loved you like an older brother. He loved you! Did you enjoy putting that bullet in him? Through a defenseless twelve year old? Did you? Did you?” He took two steps in and slapped me.
The silence that followed was almost unbearable. Shocked, I sank to my knees and held my face with my bandaged arm. The bandage was already unraveling and stained with blood since he didn't get to finish. I didn't look at him. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't imagine the look on his face. My face started to sting, but the pain was no where near the pain of the loss and betrayal I felt. I know he could see his hand mark start appearing in red on my face.
I saw his legs move towards the refrigerator, and heard him rummaging through its contents. He closed it, and knelt down beside me, pulling my hand away from my face and gently applying an ice pack. I just sat there, eyes on the ground. I lost my will to fight. I didn't understand anything. I didn't know anything about him. Suddenly, my childish words came back as another slap to my face, and my tears began flowing again.
-
“Minho.” His father looked a bit angry behind that desk. There was no cigar this time. Just a very angry old man. “You failed.”
Minho gave him a blank stare. “Where is he?” He avoided his father's gaze and gave no answer. His father glared at him for a few minutes in silence.
“Can't I keep him?”
-
He kept me there, in that room with the bed, and the lamp, and the nightstand. The police investigated the murders at my house. Somehow, there were five bodies. Did he fake my death? I wasn't allowed to go anywhere. Minho said he would have no choice but to kill me if I ever left the apartment. He brought me some of my clothes after the police investigation was finished. Among them, the outfit I wore for my birthday last year. Where he went during the day, I don't know.
I pretended to sleep while he was at home. Or I just stayed in the room and didn't say anything. I hadn't spoken since he slapped me. Sometimes he would wake me up for dinner, or he would leave some food for me in my room. I didn't have much of an appetite, and spent my days crying more than anything else.
One day, my legs got restless, and I left the room to go to the living room. In the living room was a piano. It looked old and worn in, which surprised me because I knew Minho didn't play. I wandered over to the bench and lifted up the cover. I pressed a few keys lightly and was surprised at how well tuned it was.
I played a few more notes then suddenly a song came. It was slow at first, and it was taking my emotions away and turning them into the notes of the music and sending them into the air, taking away my pain for the shortest moment. I poured my heart into the song, and it came out the saddest I've ever played.
I heard the door open in the midst of my playing, but I ignored it and kept going. He was surprised to see me out of the room. He stood in the doorway for a moment before walking inside and closing the door. He leaned against the wall and watched me play. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see his expressions. Sadness. Remorse? Then nothing. I stopped and closed the cover before going back to my room without a word.
I did that every day after time. As time went on, my sorrows started to fade into the music, but they would always come back after I was done. After spending so much time with my thoughts, I came to a resolve. I found a tape recorder in the room. I waited until Minho was gone for the day then came out to play. I set the recorder on top of the piano.
“Minho... I don't understand. I don't suppose I ever will. But you can't expect me to go on like this forever. I'm sorry. This is a song I wrote for you. Please cherish it always.” And I began to play.
-
I put on the summer clothes I wore a year before at my birthday party. I wore the shoes. I did my hair the same way. I left the tape recorder where he would see it. Then I left the apartment and went to the only place where I knew I could find my peace. Back home.
The gates were broken. The lawn was filled with weeds and growing in wild directions. I still took off my shoes, and in the same fashion, swung them back and forth as I made my way inside. I walked through the foyer. The blood still stained the carpet. Everything was collecting dust. I walked upstairs, visiting Jinki's room. Then to Taemin's room. Then to mine. Everything was the way I left it. And from my balcony window, I could see a dark figure storming through the gates. I turned and left the house, making my way back to the fountain.
Water was no longer running through it, and it was cracked and broken in places. I sat down on the edge and waited for him to come. Soon, he was in front of me, immaculately dressed in a suit and a white dress shirt with a gun in one hand. I knew someone would see me and let him know. It was only a matter of time. He didn't ask any questions. He just extended his hand. I took it.
“Tell me goodbye,” he said. I looked up at his face. Passive.
“Goodbye.” He held my hand and knelt down to kiss me on the forehead before standing back up.
“I love you.” I looked up at him and saw that he was shaking slightly.
“I love you too,” he said. He cocked the gun in his other hand and pointed it at me. I looked back down, and up again, to see him turn away, tears in his eyes. He pulled the trigger.
-
Key’s hand, devoid of life, slipped from his. He dropped the gun and caught him as he slid from the edge of the fountain. Key’s blood stained his white shirt as Minho held him in his arms, the same arms that took his life away. His father appeared behind him, watching the scene unfold.
For the first time in his life, he watched his son cry.
Author: ixjaydee
Rating: PG
Pairing: Minkey (Minho/Key)
Genre: Angst, Drama
Disclaimer: I wait to wish on real shooting stars, just like every one else. Until the next one comes by, I don’t own SHINee.
Summary: Even if I knew that meeting him would be the cause of my untimely death, I wouldn't change it for the world. Why? Simply because I loved him.
AN;; A request for shilvanisa . I’m so sorry this took forever. Oh lordy. I just had the worst mental block ever with this. Told from Key’s POV until the end. And uh... it’s kinda long. o-o Sorry if it’s not as heart wrenching as I could possibly make it. I tried. OTL. I don’t know what she did, but wishiwuzkagome is a genius without even knowing sometimes. :]
--
Tell Me Goodbye
--
Even if I knew that meeting him would be the cause of my untimely death, I wouldn't change it for the world. Why? Simply because I loved him.
-
My father decided to relocate one summer. The politician life was starting to wear him down, and he wanted to go somewhere where he could relax and spend time with his family. Our move was in secret. I was only allowed to tell a few of my friends where I was going, and the rest would be left to wonder where I disappeared to. The reason being that my father made some enemies while in office, and he didn't want to be disturbed.
The new estate we moved to was spacious. Spacious to the point where it almost seemed cold and empty, but it was home. My father had a flare for grandeur, and this completely took the cake. My older, and younger brother, and I wandered around the mansion looking for rooms to stay in. There were so many, some were rooms displaying art, instruments, weapons, fine china. After we found rooms to claim as our own, my mother promised we could do what we wanted with them to make them feel homely.
It took a few days to unpack my things and arrange them in a way where it made my room feel less empty. I didn't like cluttering up my room, but I just needed more stuff to fill it out. At this point, my twentieth birthday was around the corner. I remember begging my parents to let me stay in our old city long enough to celebrate my birthday, but they were staunch in their decision to move.
My older brother never moved out of the family. They kept pressuring him to get married and start a family of his own. He kept telling them he was too young. Twenty-six and still living with his parents. He took good care of me and our youngest brother though. He spoiled us, almost more than my dad did. He was following my father's footsteps, the route of the politician. I could never understand what they loved so much about it, but their passionate debates after dinner almost made me want to learn.
My father's secretary hired staff to help out with the grounds and in the kitchen. The entire staff had been put through extensive background checks to make sure they were indeed who they said they were. There had been a few attempts on my father's life, and they were taking as many precautions as possible to prevent it from happening again.
My mom loved to cook by herself, but she was getting older, and her endurance wasn't as good as it used to be. The grounds were enormous and impossible to take of with just one or two people. They came once or twice a week and mowed the lawns, trimmed the bushes and watered plants. Mostly, on other days of the week, my little brother and I would go water the plants. He loved flowers, especially the lilies.
There was a guy though, a guy that part of the lawn crew that my dad seemed to particularly liked. He was hard-working, and hardly ever spoke unless he was spoken to. He seemed to take his job seriously. He was younger than the rest of the crew, and on one particularly hot summer day, I looked out of my bedroom window to see him mowing with his shirt off. Needless to say, he was very attractive.
I ran down to the kitchen to get a pitcher of lemonade from my mother and several glasses. She liked to make some for them on the hotter days. I brought it outside and began pouring glasses underneath the umbrella over our lawn furniture. The crew took a break shortly after to get a drink and rest in the shade, but he didn't.
I poured another glass and ran over to him, shielding my face from the sun with my other hand. He glanced over and saw me running and turned off his mower. I slowed down as I got closer to him and smiled, handing him the drink. “You're going to pass out if you don't take a break.” He gave me the strangest look, like he was trying to swallow me with his eyes, then suddenly smiled. “You're going to burn if you stay out here.”
That was my first meeting with him. Choi Minho.
-
“Key, It's your birthday. You should look less depressed than that.” My brother, Jinki, barged his way into my room and walked over to my spot at my window overlooking the grounds. My mom was setting out the decorations in the yard. My father's friends were invited, big politicians. My brother's work friends were invited, and probably only two of my friends were.
“Easy for you to say. This is just an excuse for Dad to show you off to his friends. I swear to you he's going to be like 'Today is my second son's birthday. Oh by the way have you met my oldest son, Jinki?' Then drag you over to talk to them.” Jinki gave me that no-he's-not-look but it was true. It always happens. He didn't have anything to really brag about for me. I played piano. I had a knack for growing plants. But that wasn't going to impress any of his friends.
Jinki shook his head and punched me in the shoulder. “Stop being mopey. Moping is for teenagers. You're leaving your teens and entering the twenties. Suck it up and smile like the rest of us.” I laughed at his comment and heard my door creek open. “Key? Your friend is here. He's-”
“KEYY!” My best friend, Jonghyun, crashed through the door and almost ran over my brother. “Hey! Watch out for Taemin! He hasn't even reached his teens yet!” He tackled me to the ground, and I laughed, genuine laughter for the first time since I'd been there. My two brothers retreated from my room and let me catch up with my friend.
He told me of what happened after I left, how everyone was confused and kept going to him for answers. He didn't say anything, just like he promised me, just assuring the others that I was okay. A cool breeze floated into my room carrying voices.
“Just put that over here.” I walked over to the open window and peered outside. Minho was out there, carrying a large water dispenser over his shoulder. He had on a simple white t-shirt and some worn in jeans. “Oo la, la. Who is THAT hunk?” Jonghyun peered over my shoulder and grinned at me.
“His name is Minho. He works on the lawn crew.” He leaned out the window and squinted to get a better look at him. “He is absolutely dreamy. Oh man. He looks so serious. His hair looks amazing tied back like that.” I rolled my eyes at Jonghyun’s fan girling. “Hurry up and get ready Key! People are starting to arrive!” My mother called from the lawn. I saw Minho's eyes travel up to the window, and he grinned. I felt my heart skip a beat before replying, “Yeah, yeah, I'm coming.” Jonghyun and I pulled our heads back into the room before I closed it.
Jonghyun strode over to my closet, throwing it open and rolling his eyes at the sheer amount of clothes. “Really Key? It's going to take me forever to find you an outfit."
-
By the time we were finished, the party was in full swing. “Hurry up!” Jonghyun pulled me down the hallway, dress shirt, pants, boots, and all to the front entrance to the lawn. he pulled the doors open, and I was briefly blinded by a ray of sunlight. “There you are! Come here.” My mother grabbed my arm and over to a group of her friends.
“Here's the birthday boy!” Then I got to hear them all clamor about how much I've grown, how handsome I looked, and so on and so forth. Then my dad found me and dragged me around to his groups of friends, and then my brother did the exact same thing with his. After what seemed like ages, I finally got released and made my way over to the punch table. There was a strong alcoholic smell hovering over the punch so I opted for the bottle of water in the ice.
“You look nice.” I froze for a second then turned around to see Minho with a slight grin on his face. The lawn crew and kitchen staff were invited to stay of course, since they were practically like family in the first place. I smiled at him and ran my fingers through my hair. “Thanks.” It suddenly got really hot, and I started to fan myself with my free hand.
He leaned on the table next to me and took a sip of his punch. “How old are you now?”
“Physically, twenty. But mentally, somewhere around fifteen.” I opened my bottle of water and took a sip.
“Do you know any of those people?” He looked around the crowd. I heard a boisterous laugh coming from the one my dad was in. Probably made some hilarious inside joke that didn't make sense, and they just laughed for the sake of laughing.
“Yeah. That guy over there trying to hit on people.” I took another sip of water as Minho strained to see him. He laughed a little bit and looked back over at me. “Does he think I'm attractive?” I took yet another sip and nodded. He laughed again and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Yes.” I chuckled a little bit and waved him over with my hand. Jonghyun grinned at me before excusing himself and walking towards me. “Do you think I'm attractive?” I looked over at him and saw him looking curiously back at me. I smiled a mysterious smile and put a finger in front of my lips. “I'll never tell.” Then before he could say anything else, Jonghyun sat down between us and started to bombard him with questions. He looked a little bit uncomfortable with all the questions, but I just laughed and walked away as my mother called me to go cut the cake.
-
The sun set. I spent the last half an hour bidding guests goodbye at the lawn crew started to clean up after enjoying themselves. They thanked my mother and father for inviting them, and they in turn thanked them for staying and helping clean up the mess. I took my boots off and started walking barefoot in the plush grass. My hair was no longer perfect, it stuck out in weird directions but I didn’t care. I swung my arm back and forth that held the boots and made my way back towards the porch.
Suddenly, I felt something grab my arm and pull me. I lost my balance and almost yelled, but a hand came and quickly covered my mouth. I got pulled over to the fountain in the garden, then let go. I caught my breath and looked to see the moonlight bouncing off of Minho's face. “Could you not do that? I almost had a heart attack!” I gave him an exasperated look and dropped my shoes on the fountain's edge.
“Have I mentioned that you look absolutely stunning tonight?” His voice was soft and deep, washing over me and carrying me away. “You said something like that.” We sat in silence for a bit, admiring the way the moonlight fell over the garden. “This is for you. Happy birthday.” He handed me a small wrapped box. “Open it.”
I carefully unwrapped the paper and opened the box. Inside, there was a necklace with a key pendant. It was sterling silver, and styled like an old fashioned key with the handle in loops and intricate designs. I watched it sparkle in the moonlight for a moment until Minho took it from my hand and put it on for me.
“Don't lose it.” He smiled at me. “Key!” My brother called me. I stood up and thanked him before walking towards the house. In the doorway, I turned around to see him staring at me from the fountain, this time with the eyes that tried to swallow me whole. I turned and walked inside.
Taemin was hovering over me as I woke up the next morning. “What d'you want?” I yawned and rubbed my eyes before sitting up in bed. Taemin hopped over beside me and giggled. “That necklace. Minho gave it to you right?” I stared at him and blinked sleepily a few times. “It's okay. I won't tell. I helped him pick it out.”
--
The summer I met Minho was a pivotal point in my life. After my birthday party, we didn't speak much. Just exchanging greeting and good byes, and occasionally stopping to have a short conversation about the weather. I would randomly catch him staring in my direction, but he would look away as soon as I noticed. One day, my mother pointed out something around his neck. “Look honey. Minho is wearing a lock and chain around his neck. And it doesn't look cheap either. That's a lucky person who holds that key.” My hand absentmindedly went to the key pendant, and I smiled.
As the summer wore on, I went to town to look for a job to keep me occupied. And of course, for a bit of extra spending money. I was going to school to get a teaching degree, for the elementary school kids, before they got obnoxious and stopped listening to elders. I eventually got a job at a small day care in town. They were short handed, claiming there was some sort of baby boom a few years ago so they would welcome all the help they could get as soon as school started again.
I wandered around town sometimes when I didn't have anything else to do. Everyone knew everybody. It was a nice enough town, something straight out of a movie. I half expected my vision to suddenly go sepia, and hear the noise of an old time film player cranking along as I walked. I tried not to stay out too long though, my skin was sensitive, and I burned easily. Most days, I just spent inside, or in the greenhouse. I spent so much time inside the greenhouse that I even set up a hammock for me to take naps and relax in there.
One day, I walked out into the foyer and noticed a new piano. I hadn't played since we left my old one at my house. I ran my hands over the cover and felt it slide underneath my fingers. Something pulled at my heartstrings when I thought of my old piano, sitting at my old house, collecting dust. I sat down and slowly started to play the first thing that came to my mind.
The music pulled me into another world. Suddenly, I wasn't sitting at a piano that I didn't love, but I was back at my old house, playing the one I loved, and it loved me back. My little brother would be sitting on the rug behind my chair, swaying back and forth to the music that filled the house. It had a sad undertone this time. So sad, that I almost cried.
I was so absorbed in the playing though, I didn't notice Minho come inside. He was wiping his hands off with a dirty rag, but his eyes were fixed on me. My mother must have heard me playing, because she came out and tried to get his attention. But had to try a few times before she could be heard. “Key! Could you hold on a second?” My fingers hesitated on the keys before I lowered my hands and turned towards her.
Minho was still staring for a moment before he snapped out of his trance. “Oh. I wanted to let you know that the peach saplings came in.” My mother clapped her hands in happiness and started to pull him outside. “I'll show you where I want them planted.” He took one backwards glance at me before disappearing out the door with my mother. My train of thought was interrupted now, and I didn't want to play anymore. Granted it was a good piano but... It just didn't feel the same.
I made my way towards the greenhouse, and walked around, watering the flowers and vegetables I had growing. Taemin's batches of lilies were thriving. He was definitely going to be happy about that. After I finished, I sat down on the hammock and swung back and forth. It was silly to be homesick now, but I just couldn't help it at times. Eventually, I laid down and decided to take a nap.
But when I woke up, instead of Taemin's face looming over me, it was Minho. “I didn't know you played piano.” I sat up and he sat down next to me in the empty space. I leaned back on his arm and stared off into space. “There's a lot of things you don't know about me.” I twiddled my thumbs and rolled over so my legs were hanging over the side of the hammock. Minho swung the hammock back and forth a little bit. He smelled like sweat, dirt, and man.
“You should let me listen to you play some more,” he said after a moment of silence. I smiled and nodded. “Sure. Why not? Why did you come in here in the first place?” He looked at me and his eyes twinkled.
“I came in here to water the lilies. I told your brother I would help him with them since he kept forgetting to water them. But it looks like you've got that taken care of.” I nodded again. I hopped off the hammock and dusted off my shorts. “Coming?”
On our way back to the house though, I saw my brother standing on the porch giving Minho behind me the evil eye. “What were you two doing in the greenhouse together?” He asked me as soon as I made it to the porch. “Watering Taemin's lilies.”
“Making sweet, sweet love,” was Minho's reply. He grinned at Jinki and blocked the punch coming at him. “Don't push it kid! I'll destroy you if you even look at him the wrong way.” He mock punched him in the face, complete with sound effects. “Kid?” He looked indignant. “I'm only three years younger than you old man.” They both laughed.
“Did you see the new piano Dad bought you?” As if I didn't noticed.
“Yes dear brother. I did. I was playing it earlier. Didn't feel right.” Jinki could see my face turn sour a little bit and shook his head. “You gotta break it in. All it needs is some love and care.” He leaned on the top and gently stroked it.
“Stop molesting my piano. Go get a girlfriend.” Minho let out a huge laugh at my comment that surprised me. “At least I'm not desperate enough to go after the lawn crew!” Then he stopped laughing and got serious. “What did you just say?” He walked towards my brother and before I knew it, he was in a headlock.
“Dude, seriously?! Get off! You smell!” My brother struggled to get out of the headlock. I laughed as my dad walked into the scene. Minho saw him and reluctantly let go of Jinki. “Sir.” He gave him a short bow. “Oh no, don't stop just because I'm here. He could use a roughing up every now and then.”
-
Then before I knew it, the summer was over. School was starting, and so was my new job at the day care. Every single available spot was filled. And when I walked into the day care after my first day of classes, there were children everywhere, running around and screaming. The other adults were trying to make sense of things.
“Everybody freeze!” Suddenly, it was quiet, and all the children stopped moving. I put my arms on my hips and looked as menacing as possible. “You have until I count down from five to sit down on the rug and be quiet, or else I'll tell Santa that you've been bad! Five! Four!” The kids looked terrified and scrambled to sit down on the rug.
“You don't know Santa!” There was always that one kid that liked to back talk. He sauntered over to the carpet but didn't sit down. “Oh I don't now huh? How else do you think he knows if you've been good or bad? All the adults report to Santa. So he'll find out one way or another.” He gave me a sour look and sat down on the rug.
I saw the looks of appreciation from the other staff as I sat down and let them introduce themselves and me. “Girls and boys, this is Key, and starting today, he'll be helping...”
-
The day care wasn't too far away from my house, so I walked home from the day care. The kids bid me goodbye on their way out, and I set out on my long journey back home. New shoes probably weren’t the best things to wear, especially when I had to chase after stray kids after recess. When I finally made it to the front gates, my feet were sore, and I'm pretty sure there were blisters forming.
The gates opened, and I walked inside and promptly took off my shoes. Minho was working near the entrance trimming hedges and noticed me wincing slightly as I walked. “Oy! What did you do all day? Go fight bears?” He started to climb down from ladder. I stopped and gave him an exasperated look. “Worse. I took care of four year olds.” He smiled at me and shook his head. “Ah. Of course.” He glanced down at my feet. “Blisters?”
I rocked back and forth on my feet and shrugged. “Maybe, probably, yes.” I smiled despite the pain my feet were in and started walked towards the house again. I only took a few steps before Minho grabbed me at the waist and threw me over his shoulder. Shocked, I struggled for a couple seconds. “This is a bit demeaning. You can't just let me walk and retain whatever dignity I have left after my shoes beat me up?” He didn't answer me and just kept walking towards the house.
My mom was sitting in the foyer when he brought me in. “Honey, are you okay?” She looked alarmed as Minho put me down. “Yes I'm fine, my shoes just took a toll on my feet. I'll head up to my room, soak them, and bandage them up.” She stroked my hair and gave me that worrying motherly look. “I'll be fine. Promise.” I thanked Minho for carrying me and made my way up the stairs. As soon as I was out of sight, my mother turned to him. “Check up on him later will you?” She patted him on the arm and smiled before disappearing to the kitchen. Minho glanced up the stairs for a moment before heading back outside to finish his chores.
-
Since my mobility was limited for the rest of the day, I sat myself down at the piano bench and played a few notes. My fingers glided over the keys for a moment before willing them to play. This time, the tune that came was less sad, but it was still sad. Almost a longing for something. I played for myself, until I could feel someone coming up behind me. He sat down at the bench beside me and watched my fingers on the keys without a word.
I glanced at him and smiled. He didn't say a word, or even look up from the keys as I played. Then it was like something clicked. Everything fell into place, and the moment seemed to go on forever. My mother came in to check on me, but as soon as she walked into the foyer and saw us sitting there, suddenly, she felt like she was intruding on something she wasn't meant to see. She smiled and retreated slowly.
I started to slow down, and eventually the song came to an end. The last few notes lingered in the air for a moment before disappearing. I turned to face Minho with one leg propped up on the bench. “I'm not too terrible, right?” I grinned at him and rested my head on my knee. He seemed to be lost in thought for a moment before turning to me. “I wouldn't say you were terrible either.” He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “I wouldn't say you were terrible at all.”
-
Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. Soon enough, it was the winter. Luckily for me the winter where we moved to was a cool winter, and not an absolutely freezing one. I wasn't a fan of the cold really. But now that it was winter, the lawn crew wasn't needed for the next few months. I tried not to hide my disappointment was the winter came, but there was really nothing I could do about it.
I ended up daydreaming about him, but I tried not to dwell. Sometimes we ran into each other in town, but those moments were far and few. But somehow, it was okay. We weren't officially dating or anything. Quite frankly, I was glad I didn't have to be a boyfriend. I wasn't jealous, I didn't need to know where he was all the time. But now that I thought about it, I still didn't know very much about him.
I found myself sitting alone on a bench in front of a frozen pond in town. The children were skating on it, and couples were skating together. I saw him out of the corner of my eye come and sit down next to me. “Minho. What brings you to the lonely side of the pond today?” He chuckled and rubbed his hands together.
“I just saw an angel from far away and decided to keep him company for a bit.” He scooted closer to me, close enough for me to lean my head on his shoulder. He lifted his arm up and draped it across my shoulders. “Is this weird? For us to be so close, but so far away?” I thought about his words for a moment.
“No. I like you.” He let out a breath and leaned his head back. “You wouldn't if you knew me.”
“I don't think that would make a difference.”
“Wouldn't it? Wouldn't it?”
-
Minho took me out for some late afternoon coffee. We talked about random things most of the afternoon, then as it was getting dark, he walked me home. At the gates, he stopped and held me by the shoulders. “I suppose I'll come around more often. I get lonely without my weekly dose of you.” He kissed me on the forehead, then on the nose, then on the lips, lightly, almost like a ghost.
“Good bye.”
--
Minho stood in front of a disgruntled looking man sitting behind a desk. The man looked like an older, larger version of him, so it could only be assumed that he was his father. He was smoking a cigar and took a long drag before blowing the smoke back out. Minho stood straight and still. His face was expressionless as he watched his father smoke. “So I hear you've been getting close to one of the sons.”
Minho's face didn't change, and he didn't reply. His father's eyes settled on the lock and chain around his neck. “That's new. Wearing jewelry now.” He took another drag and blew out the smoke, this time, it was accompanied by a hacking cough. “You know in our line of work... Love is just something used against us.” He put out the cigar in the ash tray on the desk. “Don't let it interfere with your work.” His father waved his hand and dismissed him.
Minho turned around and left without saying a word. His father looked out sadly at his son's retreating back. Among the papers on his desk was a small photo. A photo of a woman and a man, swinging a small child between them. He picked up the photo and sighed. His wife was killed when Minho was five years old, in retaliation to something he did. They took the woman he loved as punishment, and left him with Minho as a reminder.
Loving her was the only thing he almost regretted. And he didn't want his son to suffer the same way.
-
It was the middle of the night. I was sleeping soundly until I heard knocking. Slightly startled, I sat up in bed and saw the silhouette of someone against my balcony door. After I woke up a little bit more, the figure moved in a way where the moonlight shone on his face. “Minho?” I dragged myself sleepily out of bed and unlocked the door. He stepped inside, letting in a short burst of cold air before closing the door silently. He cheeks were slightly red, and it made me wonder just how long he was out there before I let him in.
“How did you get past the gate?” He didn't answer me for a moment then shook his head. I didn't question him any further and reached a hand out to brush his face. He was freezing. He leaned into my touch and reached up to hold my hand. I grabbed it and led him towards my bed. He kicked his shoes off on the way there and dived under the covers. “It's freezing out there, you know. Would it kill you to wake up when I'm knocking?” He balled himself up under my covers and took in a deep breath.
I sat next to him on top of the covers and let out a small laugh. “I like to sleep at night. Like most normal people.” He glanced up at me from the covers and grinned. But it was almost like a sad grin. “I'm not here to take advantage of you. I just... got a little lonely.” I stuck my legs under the covers. Then he inched his way over and laid his head in my lap. I smiled a little bit then started stroking his hair. We whispered about more random things before eventually, both of us fell asleep.
When I woke up in the morning, he was gone. Instead, there was a small ring on my left pointer finger. I held it up to the light to admire it. There was a small ruby heart in the middle, and two smaller accent diamonds on the side. I looked back towards the balcony and smiled.
-
Christmas rolled around. My mom was busy in the kitchen preparing a Christmas feast, and everyone in town was busy getting last minute gifts or giving last minute cheer. I, luckily, had finished my Christmas shopping early this year so I could attempt to help my mom make Christmas dinner. The kitchen staff followed the orders she called out, and for a while, that was the only talk that was going on. There was some idle chatter between the staff, but nothing more really.
“Oh, I invited Minho to Christmas dinner,” my mother said as she stirred the current dish she was working on. “I ran into him while grocery shopping. Asked him if he was doing anything for Christmas. He said he wasn't, that his dad didn't really believe in Christmas, so I invited him to dinner. I invited his father too, but Minho said he wouldn't be interested. Oops!” There was a burst of flame from her stove. She laughed and turned down the fire.
“So maybe you'll dress up instead of looking so frumpy all the time now.” Her eyes twinkled as I raised an eyebrow at her. “Your father approves of him you know. Minho.” I silently poured the soup I was working on into a large bowl. “He reminds your father of himself. Hard working, serious. And don't think he won't approve just because Minho is poor. If that were the case, he wouldn't have married me in the first place.” She laughed again as we finally finished up the last of the preparations.
“There. Now go upstairs and get ready. You look like you've been slaving in the kitchen all day.”
“I wonder why.” My mother gave me a smack on the head as I walked out of the kitchen laughing. I hurried up stairs, and took a long shower. When I finished, I stopped to draw a dinosaur on the fogged up mirror before getting dressed. I looked through my closet for a few minutes before deciding on a white dress shirt, black slacks, a black vest, and a green and red tie. It was Christmas, why not?
I started to fix my hair in the vanity, trying to find the point where bedhead looked good. I gave up eventually and started to comb my hair straight. It took longer than I remembered since I hadn't done it in so long. It took long enough for Taemin to stick his head in my room and complain. “Family is starting to get here already. Mom says to come downstairs and greet people coming in.” I rolled my eyes and got up from my chair. “Your collar is crooked, Taemin. Goodness.” I fixed it for him and started to brush my fingers through his messy hair.
He thanked me and grabbed my hand, dragging me down the hallways, down the stairs, and to the front entrance. “Key's here. He can take over for you now.” My brother was at the entrance taking coats and greeting the family. “About time. I'm freezing out here!” I rolled my eyes and took my aunt's jacket. “You look so much older now, and much more handsome now that you've gotten a bit older.” She bumped my hips and walked inside laughing. “At least they're not trying to set you up with women they know.” Jinki turned and ran inside before anyone else tried to play match-maker.
One of my cousins brought along a friend, and said friend would not leave me alone. She went on and on about her possessions and how much money she had, and how she had connections. I don't know who she was trying to impress, but I definitely wasn't. As she chattered away, Minho came through the door with a small smile on his face. “Hello.” He leaned in for a kiss before taking off his jacket and hanging it up. My cousin's friend stuttered mid sentence before making an excuse to leave.
“Was she bothering you?” Minho looked curiously in her direction. “No. She was keeping me company until you got here.” He extended an arm out which I took, and we walked arm and arm into the dining room. Everyone was chattering, and I could see the two seats my mother left empty for us. As we passed my mother and her sisters, I heard them clamoring about how handsome Minho was. But one of them gave him the eye. “Isn't he a little bit too old for him?” My mother made a scoffing noise. “They're only a few years apart. Isn't your husband a little bit too old for you?”
Dinner went by quickly. My family was curious about Minho. They asked him questions, he gave them answers. Whether or not they were good, everyone seem satisfied with his answer, no matter how vague they were. It reminded me there were a lot of things I didn't know about him, but I suppose I'd learn in due time.
Afterward, my relatives got a tour of the house. The children went with Taemin to play in his room. And the relatives around my age hung around to talk about their lives. Minho and I escaped to my room and sat next to my window to watch the stars. He wrapped his arms around me while I laid my head on his chest. Unbeknownst to me, my mother and father were peeking into my room. “If he tries anything funny, I won't like him so much anymore.”
-
Minho left my house around midnight. He went home to his apartment in town, and noticed a light in his kitchen as he walked into the door. His father was sitting there at the table, smoking another cigar. “Where have you been all day?” He hung up his jacket and popped his neck. “Why ask a question you already know the answer to.”
-
I didn't see him again until spring was in full bloom. The lawn crew had a busy time, coming in twice, or even three times a week. And since they were so busy, I hardly had any time to see Minho at all. And when I did, he was busy, or he'd already left by the time I got home. I thought it was a little bit odd, and that maybe he was avoiding me because I did something wrong. I pushed the thoughts out of my mind though, because I was so busy, maybe it was my fault after all.
I came home late that day. It was dark whenever I reached the front porch, but the lights on the foyer were on, which was strange because my parents always left the porch light on at night. I reached for the doorknob to open the door, but it was already open. I felt an ominous presence inside, but instead of running away, I pushed the door open and called for my parents. As I walked through the hallway, I didn't hear a reply. So I called for my brothers.
When I reached the foyer, I dropped my bag. My hands immediately went up to cover my mouth as I let out a silent scream. There was a man in black holding two guns in his hands, with his back facing me, standing over my family on the floor. The carpet was stained red with their blood. I stepped back in horror and tried to run, but he turned around and saw me. The eyes that tried to swallow me succeeded, and my mind swirled into darkness.
--
I could tell he was there when I woke up. I was dizzy, disoriented. My sight blurred and slowly focused on a dim light in the room. He was sitting in the chair next to the bed I was in, the lamp light casting a shadow that covered half his face. I sat up too quickly, only to fall back again after the blood rushed from my head. “Be careful. You bumped your head.” His head rested on laced fingers where he sat. The look in his eyes wasn't something I was used to seeing. They were cold, calculating, but still showed concern for me.
“What... What's going on? What were you doing in my house? Why...” My mind flashed back to the scene in my house, and my hands flew to my mouth again. I stared at him wide-eyed and shocked. He reached out to brush some of my hair away from my face, but I recoiled away from him. His hand stopped in mid-air, and he looked away before dropping his hand. He sat back in his chair and sighed.
“Do you remember when you said you didn't need to know me to like me?” My mind flashed briefly to that moment in the park that seemed so far away now. “Are you sure you don't regret that now?” I kept moving back away from him in shock. I reached the end of the bed and my arm slipped off the end, cutting itself on the corner of the nightstand. I pulled my hand up to myself in pain, and immediately on sight of the blood, my family's image filled my mind, and tears filled my eyes.
Minho stood up in alarm, and stood up to go get bandages. I threw off the covers and followed him barefoot into the kitchen. “Why? Why did you do it?” I said in tears. My anger was starting to well up. He searched through the cabinet for bandages and ignored my question.
“Don't ignore me, Choi Minho. Tell me why!” I threw my arms down and sobbed. I could feel the blood dripping down my arm from the cut. He glanced back at me before pulling two rolls of bandages from the cabinet. “It was my job.” He walked towards me, and I backed up into the back of couch in the living room. He stopped and let out a frustrated breath.
“Your job? Your job?! Your job was to take care of the grounds on the estate. That was it! Killing my family wasn't in the job description!” He reached out and grabbed my bleeding arm. I tried to twist away from him, but his grip on me was too strong. “I need to bandage it before you pass out from blood loss. Or before it gets infected.” I unwillingly held my arm still for him as he bandaged it up carefully with his hands, the same hands that killed...
How many people had he killed in his lifetime? What was he? An assassin? A mobster? A hit man? My arm was shaking as he was bandaging it up. He hesitated when he was almost finished. He tried to steady my shaking hand, but my fingers were limp in his.
“How could you do it... My parents trusted you. My family trusted you! I trusted you!” I threw his hands off of me and walked around him, putting distance between us. “What kind of sick bastard are you? Did you get close to me just so you could get closer to the family?” I could see him clench his fists. He was starting to get angry.
“Did you like me at all? Was I anything more to you than a target? Why am I the only one alive? Am I supposed to be dead too? Why am I the only one alive?” Minho kept eye contact with me.
“You know how I feel about you.”
“What about Jinki? Taemin? They didn't do anything to you! How could you be so heartless?! Taemin loved you like an older brother. He loved you! Did you enjoy putting that bullet in him? Through a defenseless twelve year old? Did you? Did you?” He took two steps in and slapped me.
The silence that followed was almost unbearable. Shocked, I sank to my knees and held my face with my bandaged arm. The bandage was already unraveling and stained with blood since he didn't get to finish. I didn't look at him. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't imagine the look on his face. My face started to sting, but the pain was no where near the pain of the loss and betrayal I felt. I know he could see his hand mark start appearing in red on my face.
I saw his legs move towards the refrigerator, and heard him rummaging through its contents. He closed it, and knelt down beside me, pulling my hand away from my face and gently applying an ice pack. I just sat there, eyes on the ground. I lost my will to fight. I didn't understand anything. I didn't know anything about him. Suddenly, my childish words came back as another slap to my face, and my tears began flowing again.
-
“Minho.” His father looked a bit angry behind that desk. There was no cigar this time. Just a very angry old man. “You failed.”
Minho gave him a blank stare. “Where is he?” He avoided his father's gaze and gave no answer. His father glared at him for a few minutes in silence.
“Can't I keep him?”
-
He kept me there, in that room with the bed, and the lamp, and the nightstand. The police investigated the murders at my house. Somehow, there were five bodies. Did he fake my death? I wasn't allowed to go anywhere. Minho said he would have no choice but to kill me if I ever left the apartment. He brought me some of my clothes after the police investigation was finished. Among them, the outfit I wore for my birthday last year. Where he went during the day, I don't know.
I pretended to sleep while he was at home. Or I just stayed in the room and didn't say anything. I hadn't spoken since he slapped me. Sometimes he would wake me up for dinner, or he would leave some food for me in my room. I didn't have much of an appetite, and spent my days crying more than anything else.
One day, my legs got restless, and I left the room to go to the living room. In the living room was a piano. It looked old and worn in, which surprised me because I knew Minho didn't play. I wandered over to the bench and lifted up the cover. I pressed a few keys lightly and was surprised at how well tuned it was.
I played a few more notes then suddenly a song came. It was slow at first, and it was taking my emotions away and turning them into the notes of the music and sending them into the air, taking away my pain for the shortest moment. I poured my heart into the song, and it came out the saddest I've ever played.
I heard the door open in the midst of my playing, but I ignored it and kept going. He was surprised to see me out of the room. He stood in the doorway for a moment before walking inside and closing the door. He leaned against the wall and watched me play. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see his expressions. Sadness. Remorse? Then nothing. I stopped and closed the cover before going back to my room without a word.
I did that every day after time. As time went on, my sorrows started to fade into the music, but they would always come back after I was done. After spending so much time with my thoughts, I came to a resolve. I found a tape recorder in the room. I waited until Minho was gone for the day then came out to play. I set the recorder on top of the piano.
“Minho... I don't understand. I don't suppose I ever will. But you can't expect me to go on like this forever. I'm sorry. This is a song I wrote for you. Please cherish it always.” And I began to play.
-
I put on the summer clothes I wore a year before at my birthday party. I wore the shoes. I did my hair the same way. I left the tape recorder where he would see it. Then I left the apartment and went to the only place where I knew I could find my peace. Back home.
The gates were broken. The lawn was filled with weeds and growing in wild directions. I still took off my shoes, and in the same fashion, swung them back and forth as I made my way inside. I walked through the foyer. The blood still stained the carpet. Everything was collecting dust. I walked upstairs, visiting Jinki's room. Then to Taemin's room. Then to mine. Everything was the way I left it. And from my balcony window, I could see a dark figure storming through the gates. I turned and left the house, making my way back to the fountain.
Water was no longer running through it, and it was cracked and broken in places. I sat down on the edge and waited for him to come. Soon, he was in front of me, immaculately dressed in a suit and a white dress shirt with a gun in one hand. I knew someone would see me and let him know. It was only a matter of time. He didn't ask any questions. He just extended his hand. I took it.
“Tell me goodbye,” he said. I looked up at his face. Passive.
“Goodbye.” He held my hand and knelt down to kiss me on the forehead before standing back up.
“I love you.” I looked up at him and saw that he was shaking slightly.
“I love you too,” he said. He cocked the gun in his other hand and pointed it at me. I looked back down, and up again, to see him turn away, tears in his eyes. He pulled the trigger.
-
Key’s hand, devoid of life, slipped from his. He dropped the gun and caught him as he slid from the edge of the fountain. Key’s blood stained his white shirt as Minho held him in his arms, the same arms that took his life away. His father appeared behind him, watching the scene unfold.
For the first time in his life, he watched his son cry.