Untitled-1, con't

[aphanon_dr]

New part, so captcha doesn't get in the way. You're still free to make use of the first post, though! :D

Comments

[lion_guardant]

*plants flag* I hereby claim this part in the name of England!

[imperia_brit]

Have you been letting someone manhandle you, presumably-male other-me? Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course.

...of course.

[lion_guardant]

N-no. ...doesn't count if it's technically myself, right?

[imperia_brit]

Ah, good, then. And that whore France hasn't gotten her hands on you? Not like I care, or anything. Bloody hell, there's more of us here?

[lion_guardant]

France? Please. I could fend France off in my sleep.

...there's a pirate-captain version of us`

They're both lying, aren't they.

[imperia_brit]

As could I. You can smell her perfume a mile away.

Those were the days, were they not?

well, france hasn't tried, really. Spain and America, though...

[lion_guardant]

Over the stench of her, yes.

*sighs* Indeed they were

[imperia_brit]

And it's such a lovely perfume, wasted on her. I wonder how often she showers--does your France smell that bad?

Pillaging, burning villages to the ground, seizing vital reg--I mean, legally seizing cargo in the name of whichever Majesty happened to be on the throne at the time, of course. Ahhh, my dear King Henry IX.

[lion_guardant]

His stench is certainly useful as an early-warning system, though I must say I've never paid much attention to his bathing habits - I simply assumed that no amount of washing could rid him of it.

Oh yes, though King Henry was a bit too close to the papacy for my tastes (now)

[imperia_brit]

And America makes jokes about my presumably bad teeth but never, ever says anything about France smelling like a Paris whorehouse in August. The nerve.

No, no, Henry VIII was the one who broke it off with the bloody papists; Henry IX was his son. Good King Harry? The Virgin King? Ring any bells?

[lion_guardant]

There are too many Henrys. I was thinking of the one the Jacobites called Henry IX...

...actually, America (mine) does - though in a decidedly unwitty way. I encourage you to insult France in specific manners in front of America - though he/she denies it, they still try to copy our ways.

[imperia_brit]

Too many Edwards, too many Richards. We need more kings with names like William and Aethelred, I say.

Which specific matters did you have in mind? I can get quite specific; I wouldn't know where to start.

[lion_guardant]

Or Knut. Or Alfred.

For maximum efficiency while retaining flexibility, let us categorize the insults according to topic, and then insult Francis accordingly to that day's schedule? I suggest insulting his food on Monday, his grooming on Tuesday, his obsession with haute couture on Wednesday, his military on Thursday AND Friday, his cars on Saturday, and on Sunday, whatever comes to mind.

[imperia_brit]

Knut, oh, Knut, he had always the nicest sweets for me.

You are an absolutely organized British [looks at his tits] gentleman. Of course, on Monday, she could insult my food back (not that there's anything wrong with it, but, you know, the frogs and their sauces); on Tuesday, she could comment on my unruly hair; and on Wednesdays, she could point out that London fashion week really only has Burberry Prorsum going for it. The rest of the days, however, will be wonderful.

[lion_guardant]

Me too! And if anyone really irritated me, he brought me their heads. I remember playing skittles with the head of the King of Norway's son....ah, good times

*puffs up in pride, sticking her chest out* Of course - I am THE British gentleman.

I think the best thing to do is insult France even he's not around so he cannot rebut. The point here is to train America to insult him too after all.

[imperia_brit]

Oh, he did that for you, too? We had so much fun sticking them up on pikes!

Well, you don't look very much like one right now.

America sometimes insults France, but it's in a way that shows that she obviously admires her. Perhaps it's that silly business with the statue.