part 158 old lady purses

[aphanon_meme]

I had a dream that I was old Rose from Titanic and I was somehow visiting the (dry!) wreck of the ship and being like, "There's sooo many ghosts here, spirits that can't leave... mine is one of them..." and then I went into another part of the ship and Jack was all chained up like in the movie, but then out of nowhere Freddy Kreuger popped up!

Comments

[wrath_ofkhan]

[meanders over and eats some of the dough before spying the cookie cutters]

!

[picks one up and bends it out of shape-it's aluminum, so it deforms pretty easily]

Hey, nice! Wonder what kind of metal this is made of...

[works on bending it out straight]

[bake_einsamcake]

[stares at him incredulously]

Wh-what do you think you're doing?

[snatches the cookie cutter; tries to bend it back]

You can't go around eating people's dough and ruining their utensils! At least ask if you are that hungry!

...

Wait, aren't you Mongolisches Reich? I've been meaning to talk to you for a while.

[wrath_ofkhan]

[just takes another cookie cutter from the table, shrugs, and starts bending that one]

[munches on another piece of dough while he's at it]

Yeah, that's me. What up? Hey, you don't mind if I borrow a few of these things, do you? This metal could come in handy; I'm testin' it out.

-Oh, hey, you're the guy from that party! Long time no see!

[bake_einsamcake]

[takes the small piece of metal from him again, rapidly losing his patience]

I told you to stop it! What didn't you understand about that? And yes, I do mind; I need these things!

Exactly, I'm that guy. Deutschland. I want to talk to you about your constant fighting with my brother, Deutscher Orden. I already told him to cease this silly and needless violence, now I want to appeal to you to do the same.

[wrath_ofkhan]

[holds up his grubby, dough-covered hands to show that he won't take any more of the cookie-cutters]

Hey, I was just checkin' 'em out! But if you got any to spare, I'd love to take 'em off your hands...

..."Doosher-Orduun"? Who's that? Afraid I ain't got a clue who you're talking about.

[bake_einsamcake]

[sighs, realizing that those two cookie cutters are essentially worthless now; hands them over]

Here, you can keep these. Just leave the remaining ones alone!

Deutscher Orden is, as I said, my brother. He is about that tall-- [indicates it with his hand]--, has grey hair - well, at the moment he seems to have dyed it red - and red eyes. He is also very loud and stubborn. I'm positive you know who I mean if I tell you that he is the boy you get into fights with more than with any body else.

[wrath_ofkhan]

[straightens them out again and sticks them in his belt for safekeeping]

[crosses his arms]

He's you brother!? No, wait-you're his brother? The one that can push him around? Hahaha, what a little wuss! You ain't that scary!

[miraculously realizes he's getting off-topic, and clears his throat]

-Uh, yeah... guess I do fight him a lot. But he always starts it! You should hear the stuff he calls me: fat and stupid and... something weird about mushrooms, and tons of other stuff! C'mon, I can't just let that go, can I? I got honor, here.

And I ain't fat.

[bake_einsamcake]

[is a little confused by what the boy says about him pushing Teutonic Order around yet not being that scary, but lets it slide as he listens to the rest]

He calls you all these things? Without prior provocation?

[is furious; mobbing is a huge social problem after all]

I don't agree with you trying to retaliate by force, but I can see why it happens all the time now! You have my word that I will talk to him about that; I'll see to it that he stops harassing you. In the meantime try to ignore him if you can. J.ust tell yourself that you aren't going to waste your time on such stupid things!

[wrath_ofkhan]

You know, you're right, Big Bro; he's so a waste of my time! ...But he comes at me again, I ain't makin' no promises; he attacks me, he's gotta' pay, and that's the way it works.

[bake_einsamcake]

...

If you try to keep the damage inflicted on him to a minimum I won't argue with that.

[hopes against hope that Teuton might actually learn from his experiences]

[wrath_ofkhan]

{Germany, Germany, Germany. He's the Mongol Empire. In the cozy little land of his mind, "damage" and "minimum" are words that live very, very far away from each other and have possibly only been introduced once at a cocktail party by a couple mutual friends.]

Sure thing! Don't beat him too bad. Got it.

[salutes]

[bake_einsamcake]

[he (Germany) will likely have to learn that by hard]

Only beat him if it is not avoidable at all! That is, if he attacks you first and you have no other means of getting out of it! Otherwise just try to do what I suggested and ignore him. Believe me, it will be for the best!

[sighs deeply]

I'll have words with him as soon as I can. Take care.

[nods]

[wrath_ofkhan]

Okay, I think I can handle that. It'll be tough, but... for you? I'll give it a shot.

You take care, too! Thanks for the metal.

[bake_einsamcake]

Thank you for your willingness to cooperate! It is very much appreciated.

[actually smiles at him, then turns back to his cookies]

[wrath_ofkhan]

[grins and thinks to himself: man, could this guy get any more formal?]

[takes another handful of cookie dough and walks off, eating it]

[bake_einsamcake]

[eyetwitches and glowers at his retreating form, but figures that the boy's cooperation is worth biting his tongue this once]