I think it's the way Joss plays it out. Realistically in as close to real time as he could in the episode, with the characters playing out realistic reactions to Joyce's death. As you say it's not due to a demon or some other end of the world catastrophe. No enemy for payback, no magical fix - it (as Dawn painfully learns in the very next episode). The lack of musical score also aides in the realism of the episode. The two moments that stand ut and gut - punch me, are Buffy's "Mommy?" and Anya's "I don't understand!" speech. The former hits close to home (Mom's still here, but she's getting older and I don't want to think about the possiblity of being in Buffy's shoes in that particular scene), the latter kind of speaks to how a lot of us feel about death. That we don't understand it, that we don't know how to feel sometimes, especially when it's somebody we knew, but maybe weren't particularly close too
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