Leave Me Breathless (Chapter 10)
10. CELEBRATIONS
There was another anniversary next Saturday, a much happier one this time. It had been a year since the night Kurt had sung Not Alone to Blaine, certain he wouldn’t be heard and understood, ready to give up all hope of them ever being more than best friends. But fate or some deity, whatever it was, had intervened, and Blaine had heard.
And then they had talked, both stunned about the other’s feelings, both unsure what it meant for them. The next morning Blaine lay looking at sleeping Kurt’s beautiful, peaceful face. Feeling all the love flow through him and, for a moment, drown everything else, he had made the best decision in his life. The decision that led them - together - to where they were now.
Today would be special - Blaine had plans for the day. Big plans that he was excited and a bit apprehensive about. He hoped Kurt would like them.
They’d decided to split the celebration so that each of them could plan a part of the day, and Kurt wanted to take the evening, so here Blaine was at 11 am, turning onto Kurt’s street. He suddenly felt nervous. What if Kurt didn’t like where they were going for lunch? He’d certainly sounded uncertain when Blaine had told him to wear something comfortable and warm, as well as waterproof shoes. It was a beautiful day, thankfully. The sun was shining brightly for the first time in weeks and spring was in the air, but it was still early March after all, and the ground would be damp where they were going. The special part of Blaine’s plan would come later, when they were back and had some time alone in Kurt’s room before going out again for the evening.
Kurt was ready and waiting when Blaine entered without ringing the bell, just like Burt had repeatedly told him to. He didn’t even blink when Blaine suggested they take his Navigator, because it might be better suited for the roads they would be driving - just handed him the keys. All through the hour-long drive they talked about everything but their destination, until Blaine couldn’t contain it anymore.
“Aren’t you going to ask me where we’re headed?”
“No, I trust you.”
Kurt’s voice was absolutely calm - maddeningly so, since Blaine had half-expected some friendly banter or at least Kurt trying to weasel some hints out of him. He couldn’t resist teasing a little.
“For all you know, I could be a serial killer, taking you to some remote location where I plan to gruesomely murder you and hide your body so that no one would ever find it.”
Kurt shrugged, nonplussed.
“Oh well, then you’re out of luck, mister killer. My car has a GPS tracker connected to my dad’s office computer. In case I ever decided to start sneaking out at night or something.”
“Oh, that’s really unfortunate. In that case, we’ll have to delay those particular plans and get by with a walk and lunch. And here we are.”
Kurt looked around at solid walls of trees surrounding the car and for the first time today looked dubious.
“Blaine, you know I’m not a scout, right? And as far as I know, neither are you? Are you sure we’ll ever find our way out of these woods if we leave the safety of the car?”
Blaine laughed, joyful and bubbly.
“I’m sure. I know this particular part of the woods perfectly. I’ve been here dozens of times. Come on, let’s go.”
He neglected to mention that the last time he’d been here, he was twelve, not long before his coming out. After that, his dad suddenly didn’t seem to know how to talk with him anymore and their most favorite place became a thing of the past. Now, Blaine grabbed the backpack from the backseat and reached his hand to help Kurt out.
The paths were even more overgrown than before, but they were still there, easy to follow and wide enough for the two of them to walk side by side. Blaine didn’t release Kurt’s hand even for a second: it was a feeling they didn’t get nearly enough of. There weren’t many places where they could hold hands while walking outside in Ohio.
After a few minutes of watching their surroundings curiously, Kurt finally asked.
“Why here?”
Blaine had expected this question, of course. There was a very specific reason for choosing this forgotten place.
“Do you remember two weeks ago, when you said one of your biggest dreams was just being able to walk peacefully together like this, holding hands and not caring about other people? How you missed it after knowing what it was like, in New York?” Kurt nodded. That had been quite an unforgettable scene - Kurt throwing a fit at the mall and Blaine comforting him with raspberry and yogurt ice-cream before taking him home to make out for hours. “Well, I can’t take you to New York just yet, but I could take you here, where we can do whatever we want for a few hours. Nobody comes here. I’ve never met a soul. And it’s beautiful, you’ll see.”
It really was. The path ended suddenly and when Blaine moved the overgrown bushes out of the way enough to pass through, he heard Kurt gasp. The lake shimmered in the spring sun, its surface stirred lightly by a breeze. All around, first hints of new leaves were visible, like a delicate green mist hanging around the brown-black winter trees and bushes. Here and there, crocuses were covering the ground in spots of color.
It was a small lake; even when Blaine was a child, walking around took his dad and him no more than two hours. There had been an old picnic spot halfway around, with a slightly crooked table and two benches tucked under a small roof. Blaine hoped it was still there now. He had everything they needed for lunch in his backpack.
When Blaine had come out to his parents and understood that he would no longer come here with his dad, he used to imagine taking somebody he loved, a boy he loved, to show him this place and share his memories one day. And this was what he did now. They walked slowly along the banks of blue-green water that reminded him of Kurt’s eyes, holding hands, their fingers intertwined. He told his boyfriend about the countless happy hours and days spent here with his father over the years, how it used to be their secret and how close they felt, coming here together, just the two of them. He’d seen this lake in every season, probably every month of the year, and the long untouched memories that crowded his head when he stirred them awake stung and hurt. He didn’t realize how much he missed those happy days until he felt himself choke up.
Kurt’s arms were around him in a heartbeat and Blaine felt incredibly thankful that there were no people around so he could hide his face on Kurt’s shoulder and let the tears flow. It felt like hours, but once they stopped, he raised his head and felt Kurt’s warm hand on his cheek.
“I’m sure your father would love to come here with you again now, don’t you think?”
Blaine’s heart squeezed with child-like hope and he said nothing, leaning into Kurt’s inviting lips. They kissed softly, tenderly for long minutes, until the last tears on Blaine’s eyelashes had dried.
The picnic place was still there, even more battered than before, but usable, the view still breathtaking. Blaine took out a thick blanket he’d packed specifically for this reason and laid it carefully on the less rickety of the benches. He covered the table with a paper tablecloth, then set it with plastic plates and cups.
They ate sandwiches and a salad that Blaine had carefully packed into lunch boxes, and drank hot chocolate poured from a thermos. He’d even remembered to bring mini marshmallows that he put in their cups now, sending Kurt into fits of giggles. They had fruit for dessert and then long kisses that they ended only when they started going into territory that could hardly be called public-safe.
But then, they weren’t really in public, were they? So when Kurt asked him if he’d packed any tissues or moist toilettes, and Blaine pulled out both from his bottomless backpack, the mischievous glint in Kurt’s eyes took only seconds to understand. And when he did… Oh man. Blaine had never thought how hot it would be to have Kurt pressing him against a tree and ravishing his lips with deep, wet kisses while his hand dove into his pants, but… Yeah. Really hot. So hot, actually, that he needed to show Kurt afterwards, just so that he knew, and… Oh well.
Half an hour later, sated and buzzing with excitement, their lips kiss-raw and their bodies and hands smelling of aloe, they packed their things and started back around the other side of the lake. They stopped by every crooked tree, every interestingly mossy stone and patch of crocuses. Though they called it nature gazing, it had more to do with kissing, touching, leaning into each other and laughing, always laughing with complete, utter joy.
On their way back home, Blaine didn’t even have to ask Kurt if he liked his anniversary date. The blissful expression on his face, the way his eyes kept returning to Blaine over and over again, filled with so much love they shone bright like the sun, told him everything. And it wasn’t even all of his plan yet.
Blaine stood in the middle of the bedroom and took Kurt’s hands. His voice was shaking when he first spoke, but grew steadier with every word until he sounded utterly calm and confident, absolutely sure of what he was saying to the boy standing in front of him.
“Kurt… This place, your room, is really special to me, for many reasons. That’s why I want to do this here. Kurt, I need you to know how much I love you and how important you’ve been in my life ever since I met you. You got me from the first time we spoke, understood me better than anyone else has, ever. You soon became my best friend, someone I could always rely on to support me or to set me straight, whatever I needed. And then… then you became my everything. My love, my support system, my savior. And I want to thank you for all of this, Kurt; I don’t know where I’d be now if I didn’t have you in my life. You’ve always accepted me without reservations, never tried to change or fix me, and your complete faith in me was what helped me fix myself this last year.”
Kurt’s eyes were full of tears, shaky grin on his lips. When Blaine reached into his breast pocket and took out a small black pouch, his boyfriend’s eyes grew huge and he looked like he was about to faint. Blaine shook the rings out of the pouch and closed them in his hand. Looking at Kurt with an earnest expression, he continued.
“This isn’t a proposal. I know we’re barely eighteen and we have a lot of time to think about adult things like marriage. But in my heart, Kurt, I have no doubt that you’re the love of my life and I want to be with you forever. You’re my soulmate, my other half that I’ve been missing all my life even if I didn’t know that. And I want to give you something as a promise that I’ll be with you every step of our way if you only let me, and one day, years from now, I want to hold your hand and become your husband.”
Blaine opened his hand to reveal the two simple silver bands lying there. He took one of them and asked softly.
“Kurt, will you do me the honor of wearing this ring?”
Kurt was crying openly now, but the smile on his face was blinding.
“Only if you wear the other one.”
***
The rest of the evening passed in a blur. Kurt had obsessed over the choice of the restaurant for the longest time, and had ordered tickets for the opening night of West Side Story in Columbus musical theater as soon as they were available, but now none of these mattered, not really. Of course, they had a good time and Blaine loved his choices and complimented him repeatedly on his outfit and appearance, but it all paled in face of what had happened before, in Kurt’s room.
He couldn’t help but touch the thin band of silver on his ring finger all the time. The metal had warmed up from his skin, but it still felt new and foreign, even if it represented something so well known, familiar and welcome. It wasn’t an engagement ring, but it felt like one, to be honest. With what there was between Blaine and him, Kurt couldn’t help feeling like it was just pre-engagement. When Blaine had told him earlier about where and how he bought the rings, without really planning to, it felt like magic, like fate. And Verona? The city of Romeo and Juliet? Could there be any more obvious connection? The tiny eternity symbol etched into the silver was a promise and a request, and Kurt was fine with both. So fine.
His lips stretched into a smile every time he took Blaine’s hand tonight, every time he looked at the cool line of silver contrasting with his boyfriend’s olive-toned skin. And all along, Kurt still couldn’t believe this was his life. A year ago, he’d sat by his broken, hurt best friend’s side in the middle of the night, getting ready to try and let go of the hope that he would ever be anything more to him.
So much had happened since then. So many things, painful and beautiful, scary and delightful, but they had taken all of them on and come out victorious, together. They’d both grown so much, matured faster than they should have had to. But such was life; it wasn’t perfect or fair, but it was theirs. And Kurt was certain that it would still be hard and cruel sometimes, in the future. But as long as they kept making it together, it would be amazing for many more anniversaries to come.
***
Two weeks passed and then, within two days of each other, there were official-looking envelopes in their mailboxes. They waited to open them together, when they were alone in Kurt’s house after school, so that they could have their first bouts of flailing or despair in private before sharing the news, whatever it was, with their families.
The news turned out to be good. The best, actually. They were both accepted. They were going to New York. Together, to the same school. They would be both studying musical theatre at NYU, and Blaine - at his father’s insistence - pre-business in addition to that.
They laughed and hugged, and Kurt teared up a little, before Blaine grabbed him and twirled him around the room in a mad victory dance. And then they each called their parents because their joy was too great to contain and had to be shared, immediately. Then there were tears and congratulations and promises of celebrations later.
And it was time, the best time to approach their parents about the accommodation issue. They had both been informed that they could apply for dorm rooms, since they hadn’t so far, and it was time to make a decision.
Kurt’s family was the first they talked to, simply because they turned their traditional Friday family dinner the next day into a college acceptance celebration feast, while Blaine’s parents were taking them both out to dinner on Saturday. And it was easier this way, too. Neither of them was really nervous about having this conversation with Burt and Carole; the only aspect that could come into account was money, an issue they were already prepared to address.
They were right, of course. Over desserts, Kurt looked at his parents earnestly.
“Dad, Carole, I want you to know that we are planning to find a place to live together in New York. We’re not going to apply for the dorms.”
Burt just shrugged.
“I know. I was sure you would. And I guess that, being you, you’ve got it all figured out already, finances and all, so just know that while we will help you as much as we can, you’ll have to be at least partially self-sufficient to be able to do this. If you think you can do that, we’re fine with it.”
The Andersons were tougher, although honestly, it went a lot easier than Blaine had pictured it in his head. He expected them to refuse, or at least argue the case. They didn’t. His father just asked them a lot of questions. Where did they want to live? By themselves or with more people? How did they plan to cover and share the expenses? What about safety issues, because lower rent often meant a dangerous neighborhood? What about proximity to school? Thankfully, their long discussions about living in New York, as well as Kurt’s obsession with planning paid off. They knew what they wanted and could answer every question easily. Finally, Blaine’s dad nodded, wiping his lips with a napkin and setting it aside.
“Okay. I see you’ve planned this carefully and reasonably, so I have no problem with it. We’ll talk about details after graduation.”
And just like that, the topic was closed. It was decided and approved. Soon, they would be living together.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next chapter: Special
Please book an appointment with your dentist for Monday afternoon. Or at least have a toothbrush ready. If you’re a diabetic, the next chapter might be dangerous for your health; please consult your doctor before reading.
;)