Brisingr Spork: Chapter 55?: Flight

[pipedreamno20]

I'm baaaaaaack! My sporking style has possibly chaaaaanged! Hopefully for the better... My deliberate focus from here on in is to challenge myself not just to recap the chapter's events and snark about it (although snarking is admittedly a lot of fun) but to properly highlight what doesn't work and why, regarding plot, character motivations and

Comments

[thegharialguy]

If Paolini really knew how to use the multiple perspective angle, then he would have skipped over this travel time entirely and instead developed the battle in Fence City before Eragon arrived. And I don't just mean like that last Roran chapter, I mean leave us with the characters fighting for a while, meeting dangerous antagonists who are actual character and amping up the tension until Eragon finally arrives to save the day. The plot isn't developed well enough in this section to fully justify doing that (the final boss of the entire book ends up being some random shade created on the spot), but at the very least these past two chapters could have been replaced with Arya's assault on the walls and her subsequent trouble with the enemy. What he did is the absolute epitome of show don't tell. It's especially bad as Arya and elves in general have so much hype around them that I have trouble believing any human enemies could actually provide trouble for her

[thegharialguy]

Having good eyesight might actually make it harder to do. When you squint you essentially bend your inner eyelense out of shape to focus on something, which really isn't good for you in the long term. If you're eyes are already good, then it's just going to work like wearing a pair of glasses when you don't need them.

[anonymous]

Saphira flies on without landing to rest until night falls. Let's face it right here right now: she's just Eragon's shiny blue car.

I think what really indicates that Saphira is just a sparkly possession of Eragon is the fact that he doesn’t give her some of his magical strength when they’re flying to the Varden. While the poor lizard has to fly nonstop, Eragon is relaxing.

[syntinen_laulu]

Saphira flies on without landing to rest until night falls. Let's face it right here right now: she's just Eragon's shiny blue car.

Well, unlike the traditional 'galloping all day' on horseback, at least there's nothing intrinsically implausible about a dragon flying non-stop all day. After all, swifts fly from Northern Europe to Central Africa every year without once coming to land, even sleeping on the wing. Maybe dragons in the wild routinely spend all day on the wing and barely land at all unless they're nesting.

What does seem stupid, though, is for Eragon to drive her to fly until she's utterly exhausted and simply has to sleep. It would surely be more sensible, and almost certainly wouldn't lose any time, to give her shorter rests at intervals.

[cmdrnemo]

It would also show some sympathy even a little kindness on his part. If there was anyone in these books Eragon should put some effort to be nice to. It would have to be Saphira.

In terms of flight duration for dragons. I want to agree with you. We don't have hard numbers on what they can and cannot do. There's no reason they can't fly all day. It would help if Eragon put some magic into it. Instead of sitting there like a coconut.

[pipedreamno20]

That’s a fair point. She goes a fair bit over one day but as you said even non-mythological creatures can manage far longer times on the wing (and Saphira is “oooooh magical” to boot) so yeah probs was a little harsh here.

Yeah, she outright tells him not to give her any energy because he “needs his strength” for the action to come. Where in the later bit of the chapter he can feel, hear and sense through the link how freakin’ exhausted she is. Won’t she be needed in the battle, too? She’s only a bigass dragon that can flame and physically attack smaller creatures like humans. What’s the point of having her so tired she can’t assist? Ah well.

[anonymous]

Yeah, even if you travel in a scenery-rich region and unless things happen and want to describe said scenery to make things less featureless it's better to resume.

Very little, if any, people is gonna find interesting that you describe by detail all the curves of a path through the mountains.

[thegharialguy]

I've just finished reading A Wizard of Earthsea. The second half of that book is basically 90% travelling, but it actually works because even when there's nothing happening, the story is building tension. The protagonist is scared shitless of a monster he unleashed on the world and the travelling he does to either outrun or catch it is driving the plot forward. Or, in other words, the travelling sections have a reason to exist. This doesn't. It could potentially if Paolini did a better job building this battle, both narratively and in regards to its importance to Eragon. But it's quite literally standard affair. There's no more dramatic tension here than there was during the trip between Dwarfland and Elfland (which was like ten times worse as there wasn't even potential for purpose in that chapter, while there is something of potential here). Travelling isn't inherently bad, it's just like everything else, if we're hearing about it then it needs to matter. Dedicating a chapter to travelling is like dedicating a chapter to a character

[anonymous]

A tad off topic but I’d love to read a fantasy book where the protagonist is a simple soldier on the “wrong” side whose fighting against an army with a super-Sue akin to Axis or Eragon that acts morally superior despite doing brutal stuff like you described in your two comments.

[anonymous]

If this crap was like D&D or similar settings, where adult dragons and above are almost indestructible if you don't have magical stuff, Saphira could walk in letting soldiers exhaust themselves attempting in vain to cause more damage to her than some very luckily insignificant wounds, then Eragon ordering them to surrender and/or disarming the others who still fought. She would not even have to use "frighful presence", that basically causes mooks to run away scared.

I'm reading what you've sporked and reads as usual like a mook horror show.

[anonymous]

EDIT. Sorry, I meant she could have used that "frightful presence" to scare those mooks and the rest for those were not affected. I know this is not D&D, but when even a game so geared as combat as it offers that kind of alternatives even if are reserved for dragons, normally not PCs and typically antagonists... well.