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[antiqrule1]

I probably lost about ten pounds from that stomach flu thing I had for a week. I've gotten so many compliments on how much better I look, how much svelter. It's settled, then: I'm better unhealthily thin. Great. It doesn't matter, anyway, though. I haven't felt much like eating. I am a little concerned about myself, though, because I'm finding

Comments

[quinnthevixen]

Be careful, Tasha. Though I know this is a time when your food control and disordered eating can feel like a way to stabilize your life, it will end up doing quite the opposite. Now could be a really great time to continue your course towards becoming really healthy (in mind, body, and spirit) and find something else that you can do, in your life, that makes you feel good, that you have control over, but that will not harm you. You deserve that from yourself, for yourself.

[antiqrule1]

Thanks, Quinn. It's been really hard to figure out my control issues recently, and most of my bodily obsessions come from fitting in/feeling welcome. It's so hard in a society wherein the praise for being thin is so overwhelming. I'm pushing hard to stabilize in other ways, though.

[antiqrule1]

I just get so frustrated from the lack of exercise here and the the lack of a kitchen. It's very difficult to be healthy and careful with my diet. Of course, my food issues all revolve around a feeling of no self-control. I loathe it and want to be on that healthy path again, but it takes so much energy and confidence to just do that. When I'm down, I have either the urge to eat or to restrict; I've always considered restriction better. I'm terrified of adding weight problems to a list of things wrong with my life.