I'm So Glad I'm Alive

[antiqrule1]

I need to keep telling myself I'm okay, because I don't feel okay. Last night was so bad for so many reasons. I was out of control. Not because I was drunk, but because I was lied to, got swept up in craziness, but also because I was drunk. Franco the New York Sicilian. Fuck you. Liar, disgusting person. I'm filled with self-loathing, and I kind of

Comments

[quinnthevixen]

I'm glad you're okay too! That sounds really frightening. PLEASE remember, though, that you are not at fault for being preyed on by a man. Would it have helped to have drunk less, or trusted him less? Maybe, it's hard to say. But is it your fault, in any way, that he was lying to you and trying to take advantage of you? FUCK no. So don't beat yourself up about that! As a culture, we should be punishing men who act this way, not blaming the women who fall victim to them.

[antiqrule1]

Thank you...I'm glad you said that. I feel stupid for trusting him and not getting it when he kept telling me I was so beautiful and such. But you're right: He lied and was trying to trick me and be alone with me. I was drinking, and so I put myself at a disadvantage. But it sucks that I'm expected to be on guard in the first place. I'm kind of upset that someone didn't tell me he wasn't a friend of Michael. I kept getting dirty glares from this girl Yuliya, like I was cheating on Andrew or something, but she was the one he was all over. And I didn't try and get alone with this guy. The group didn't follow us into the Lazy Dog when they said they would. I hope he just disappears. I'm afraid he won't.